Since today is Mothers Day, I thought I would begin with some statistics from Moms on their most difficult moments. These results were taken from a nation wide survey of moms with children under six.
The “Worst place to have to change a diaper”
47% said a public restroom with no changing table
27% said the worst place to change a diaper is when no restroom or car is available
18% said that airplane bathrooms are the worst place to change a diaper
“Most embarrassed in public”
14% said diaper leaks
52% said unrelenting crying or tantrums.
12% said they are most embarrassed in public when their child asked an embarrassing question about a stranger.
“Was the first day of school harder on your child or on you?”
41% percent said it was harder on them than on the child,
26% it was equally hard on both mother and child.
“What would you do with an extra hour in your day?”
23% said they would catch up on their reading
22% said they would get some extra sleep
But, sorry dads, just 7% said they'd opt for a little romance!
SOURCE: CINCINNATI, Aug. 23, 2011 /PRNewswire A Survey for The Kroger Co.
http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/national-survey-of-mothers-with-kids-under-six-finds-128242408.html
All of us wish our moms a happy Mothers Day.
What can we do for mom’s today?
If the greatest gift a dad can give his children is to love their mother.
The greatest gift a man can give his wife is to lead his family. We will examine Proverbs 4 as a pattern for fathers to lead their families.
To bless our MOM’S today, we are going to talk to Dads about leading their families. Christian moms love their children and know that the best thing for their children is a godly father taking the spiritual responsibility for his home. Dads, our challenge is for you today. But it is a challenge for all parents - mommies and daddies who are raising their children together, as well as single moms and dads trying to raise their children without a spouse.
The blessing for our homes come from the Lord. It is brought in to our homes when we live according to God’s principles.
“The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.” (Proverbs 20:7)
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” (Proverbs 29:17)
Advice to Fathers from Proverbs 4
1. Fathers, Your Authority Comes from God. 4:1-2
Solomon begins his instruction to his sons with the full expectation that they will listen. “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction” (4:1) Dad’s, we must EXPECT and DEMAND that our children listen to us. This is contrary to society today which emphasizes that parents earn the respect of their children. While it is true that a parent can do things that hurt their children and thus destroy the respect that should be given, from the outset parents must teach their children to be respectful of authority, beginning with their own authority.
A church member recently shared with me the slogan from a coffee mug in her place of work. It read,“Respect NO ONE - Question EVERYTHING.” That summarizes our culture today, and it is terribly wrong.
We must be counter-cultural.
Some say, “but pastor, it is impossible in today’s culture to make kids speak respectfully. Things are different. You can’t expect kids to respect everyone. I say that you are wrong.
Have you ever been to Chick Fillet? It’s an amazing restaurant! The chain has built itself on the reputation of excellent food and old-fashioned polite service. Like all fast-food restaurants, the help consists mostly of young people under twenty. Yet you will find that every one of them are extraordinarily polite, saying “yes maam, thank you sir,” and the phrase that employees are trained to say, “It’s my pleasure.”
How is Chick-Fillet able to get young people to respond with such courtesy? Aren’t these the same teens addicted to X-box, and tethered to their I phones? The answer is in two key elements. First, Chick Fillet provides a powerful incentive. You WILL act this way or someone else will take your job. The second is even more important. They have created a CULTURE or respect. Everyone in the organization models this kind of courtesy. It is constantly spoken of. They take great pride in treating their customers well.
Fathers, you can learn something Chick-Fillet. Your children are far more capable than you give them credit. They can be polite and respectful. You must do two things. Set the standard and expect them to meet it. Second, you must create a culture of respect in your home starting with the way you treat their mother, and including the way you treat your children, and even the people you do business with.
Today’s culture suffers because we have such a low regard for respect and dignity. Many things are LOST when we do not respect authority...
CULTURE becomes degraded
LAWLESSNESS increases
UNHAPPINESS increases
DISORDER increases
KINDNESS decreases
Demanding Respect is NOT arrogant
It is not a claim that you are PERFECT.
It must be practiced in HUMILITY and LOVE
Solomon continues in his instructions to his sons.
2. Fathers, Honor the Godly Traditions passed down to you. 4:3-5
Solomon speaks of his father David and writes, “He taught me and said...” (4:4). He thinks it important to remind his son that a wise father passes down the things he received from his father. There are some things we should pass down.
Respect for others
Our family heritage
Testimonies of family members
Good traditions
The good name of your family, and your family honor is a great value. Most other cultures have higher regard for the family traditions and heritage. Americans are so individualistic that we isolate ourselves from our past. Children are eager to move away from home and be rid of their parents influence. Family stories are being forgotten. This is contrary to Biblical principles. Solomon exhorts us to maintain the value is found in our family heritage and good name. “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1)
3. Fathers, Take Responsibility for your Children’s spiritual, academic and interpersonal growth. (4:6-9)
Solomon writes “Get wisdom... get understanding” (4:5)
He instructs his son 4x to pursue wisdom.
4:5 “Get wisdom”
4:5 “Get understanding”
4:7 “get wisdom”
4:7 “get understanding”
Fathers, the imparting of wisdom comes through instruction and discipline. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). “Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.” (Proverbs 29:17)
“Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” (Proverbs 19:18)
“Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:27)
SEVEN COMMON DISCIPLINE FAILURES
a. Unclear rules. We don’t tell them what to do. We don’t FOLLOW OUR WARNINGS with action! Fathers, do not make idle threats to your children. They will learn quickly that you do not mean what you say. It will leave them confused and always wondering where the lines are. They will be in control of your home and not you.
Instructing your children should follow this pattern. Tell them once. If they persist in the wrong behavior, warn them once. Then if they continue in the behavior, discipline them. Depending on the age and spirit of the child, this often includes spanking a child.
b. Cancelling out what the other parent has done. Children know how to triangulate one parent against the other. Fathers, be sure that you and your wife are communicating on the rules and expectations for the children, and deal severely when your child attempts to use one parent against the other.
c. Making excuses for your child. When a young child throws a temper tantrum, mommies often say something like, “well she’s tired.” We do this because WE are embarrassed. Don’t take this the wrong way. Dragging a 2 year old through a hundred crowded stores without proper food and rest will produce an irritable child. But place the blame on yourself, not the child. And teach the child that throwing temper tantrums or screaming are not acceptable ways of expressing their frustration.
d. Excessive and harsh discipline. We read, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).
Avoid ANY form of discipline when you are angry. Parents often ask, when should I spank my child. There is no set rule in scripture concerning this. I can tell you that our children got spanked often between the ages of 2-6. Spanking is to break the will of the child. It is not necessary for every act of disobedience, and it is not necessary as the thinking and reasoning skills of the child increase. As a child’s communication and sense of responsibility increase, the need for spanking decreases.
E. Another common discipline mistake is giving in to the child after a punishment has been announced. We are sometimes by the tears and pity for a child who you just punished. To show our affection, we give back what we have taken away. First, be careful not to give unrealistic punishment. Then you won’t have to take them back. The father who says, “you’re grounded for a year” has made a foolish punishment that cannot be fulfilled.
I like the viral internet video of the Dad who shot his daughter’s laptop computer as he promised. He paid for it. He gave her instructions on its use. She violated those instructions, and he creatively and calmly destroyed her laptop.
F. One of my frustrations in many years as a youth pastor was parents whose only punishment for their children was to keep them from going to youth group or Sunday school. I understand taking away fun activities like a camping trip or social event, but don’t punish them by removing them from Worship, Youth group and Sunday School.
G. Finally, don’t fight your children’s battles. Let them feel the consequences for the mistakes they make. When someone in authority tells you about something that they have done, assume that the person in authority is right, without passing final judgment.
Let them face consequences! It’s the only way that they will learn.
4. Fathers, Guide your children so they will avoid danger. (4:10-17)
“listen my son, accept what I say” (4:10)
“I guide you in the way of wisdom” (4:11)
“Do not set foot on the path of the wicked” (4:14)
Warn them of Satan’s traps.
Warn them of their tendencies
Warn them of the trap of sexual sin
Warn them about bad influences. “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”” (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Warn them about the internet.
|67% of children admit to clearing their Internet history to hide their online activity
|79% of accidental exposures to Internet porn among kids take place in the home
|56% of divorce cases involve one party having an obsessive interest in online porn
|29% of working adults accessed explicit websites on work computers
Statistics from Covenant Eyes http://www.covenanteyes.com/
PRIVACY is a ROOT of SIN. No child should have uncensored, unlimited access to the internet. Fathers, monitor social media. Fathers, monitor texting. Don’t give your child unmonitored internet access (iphone, android, tablet, ipad).
5. Fathers, Don’t Give up! (4:18-19). Solomon indicates this in the final two verses of Proverbs 4. “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of the dawn” (4:18). MORNING will come! A new day will dawn when your child grows into a fine Christian young man or woman. Be consistent in your life and discipline. It is hard work to be involved in your child’s life as leader and disciplinarian, but the life of your child depends on it.
And fathers, if you take this responsibility seriously, and honor the Lord in fulfilling these commands, the mother of your children will bless you.
