“Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Do you remember being taught that little saying after your feelings had been hurt by some bully at school? It does keep the hurt in perspective. Better to be called “four eyes” than actually get punched in the face. However, unkind words do hurt even when they’re spoken behind our back. God knows this of course. That’s why he gave the Eighth Commandment: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” With this command God protects his gift of a good name, that is, a good reputation.
A trip back to the Garden of Eden illustrates how important the Eighth Commandment is. It was this command Satan trampled when he lied and told Eve that there would be no harsh consequences from eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Satan went on to bear false testimony against God when he said: “God knows that when you eat of [this fruit] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). Satan made it sound like God had given this “dumb” command about not eating from that particular tree because he was selfish and didn’t want Eve to be as wise as he. Eve and Adam, who was standing there with his wife, fell for Satan’s lie and they ate. We’re still living with the bitter aftertaste of the forbidden fruit: sin, pain, and death.
Have we ever been as callous as Satan? Have we ever lied about someone for the purpose of harming and causing chaos? Perhaps our conscience wouldn’t put up with such an obvious sin. But this doesn’t mean that we’re innocent. Listen to Luther’s explanation of the Eighth Commandment. He wrote: “We should fear and love God that we do not tell lies about our neighbor, betray him or give him a bad name, but defend him, speak well of him and take his words and actions in the kindest possible way.”
I may not be in the habit of telling lies about my neighbor but I do struggle to keep from speaking about him in a disparaging way. When standing around the playground with other parents, it’s easy to join in on the nitpicking of my child’s teacher. When the conversation turns to talk about the kid who is always late to school and is never dressed properly, I’m curious, no eager to hear what the other parents have to say about that child’s family. It never dawns on me that they probably talk about me like that when I’m not there.
But is it wrong to talk about others in a negative way if you’re telling the truth? Yes! God said: “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Now to be sure, God isn’t speaking against warning others to stay away from false teachers. Jesus himself did that when he spoke vehemently against the Pharisees. The Apostle Paul even pointed out false teachers by name, not because he enjoyed doing this or thought that he was better than they, but because he took seriously Jesus’ command to warn the sheep when wolves were trying to get in close and devour them. But when a friend has had too much to drink, or a sibling throws a tantrum, Martin Luther says that when you hear about such sins, let your ear become its grave. Don’t resurrect that sin by telling others about it. If you must speak about the matter, it should be with the perpetrator first. God even urges us to do this and to call each other to repentance so that we may turn away from sin and through faith in Jesus receive the benefit of forgiveness.
It will be easier to keep the Eighth Commandment if we put the best construction on the things that we see and hear. Students, your teacher may have been a bear last week but perhaps she’s going through some challenges in her personal life. Cut her some slack and speak well of her. Think about how she usually isn’t grouchy, which of course is pretty amazing when you consider what teachers have to put up with these days.
Parents, when your children complain about the coaching they receive, do you listen sympathetically and agree with your child’s conclusions? Your child may be right but wouldn’t this be an opportunity for you to model how to put the best construction on what the coach does or does not do? And if there really is a problem with the coaching, speak to the coach about it, not to your kids or to the other parents.
Or has this ever happened to you? You stand mute as a friend gushes about how great you are compared to that other “friend. We’re slow to speak up and defend the person not there because we love that kind of attention! But how do you know that this isn’t just flattery which the speaker is directing your way to get something from you? And perhaps you really are better at some things than that other person. So what? Since when are Christians in competition with one another? We’re part of the body of Christ. We have different gifts and talents to complement one another. How can we encourage one another to that end? Certainly not by ripping on each other. The Apostle Peter said: “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech’” (1 Peter 3:8-10).
Jesus obviously did what Peter encouraged. He was sympathetic and compassionate. He didn’t repay insult with insult. Aren’t you glad that Jesus continues to keep the Eighth Commandment? I mean just think of the dirt he could share about you and me! Instead he covers our sins and speaks in our defense. This truth is illustrated beautifully in the Old Testament book of Zechariah. There the prophet records a vision of Joshua the High Priest standing before God. He’s dressed in filthy clothes which represent his sinfulness. Satan is also there pointing out those ugly stains and demanding that the holy God punish that sinner. It doesn’t look good for Joshua. He’s clearly guilty. But then the Angel of the Lord, the Son of God himself, speaks up and says: “‘The LORD rebuke you, Satan! The LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?’…Then the angel said to those who were standing before him, ‘Take off his filthy clothes.’ Then he said to Joshua, ‘See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you’” (Zechariah 3:2, 4).
Our Gospel Lesson this morning explains why Jesus has the right to cover over our sins. Jesus said: “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15 that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life” (John 3:14, 15). I highlighted the words “lifted up” because it helps us understand why exactly Jesus has the right to cover our sins. Perhaps I can explain it best like this. I remember watching a Western where a sly cowboy put his hat on a stick and raised it above the rock where he was hiding from enemy gunmen. As soon as the enemy saw the hat, they blazed away. Then the smart cowboy propped up another hat a few feet away, and then another until his comrades were able to sneak away and circle in behind the bad guys while they were busy emptying their lead on those hats. When Jesus was lifted up on the cross it was to draw God’s anger over sin to himself and allow us sinners to escape. When Jesus gave himself over to death and hell like this he gave us heaven and eternal life. Is there any need for us to speak poorly of others to get ahead? No. We already have what the world desperately seeks: lasting peace. And so just as Jesus continues to speak up and defend us, we will do that for others – even if they’re not deserving of such kindness because neither were we deserving of Jesus’ sacrifice.
Sticks and stones can break bones but over time bones will heal. Words, on the other hand, can damage another’s reputation so that it never recovers. Friends, don’t be careless in the way you speak about others. Don’t welcome gossip. Speak well of others and defend them just as Jesus speaks well of you before your heavenly Father. Amen.
