“Ginger curry and lots of tea.” That’s what a recent marathon-running hundred-year-old said was the secret to his longevity and spunk. What are some other “secrets” for long life that you’ve heard? Hard work? Clean living? Plenty of exercise? A loving family? Did you know that God shares with us the secret to long life in the Ten Commandments? The Apostle Paul paraphrased the Fourth Commandment like this when he wrote to Christians living in Ephesus: “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2, 3). With the Fourth Commandment God seeks to protect his representatives on earth - not just our parents but our teachers and governing officials too. He does this because he loves us and wants us to enjoy the blessing of a good life – a life spent growing in faith and service. You may have inwardly groaned when you saw that I was going to be preaching on the Fourth Commandment because it seems like another one of those burdensome edicts. But pay attention because God, not some eccentric centenarian, is sharing with you the secret to a good life.
The Fourth Commandment is probably the most misquoted command. God did not say “obey” your father and mother, but “honor” them. What’s the difference? We can obey someone but not honor them while we do it. For example a child can clean up his room as he’s been asked to by his mother but if he’s muttering under his breath about how mean she is for making him do this chore, he’s not honoring her is he? The word “honor” in the original Hebrew text means to “treat as heavy.” The opposite would be to “treat lightly.” God does not want us to treat our parents lightly but take them seriously. So when they give us advice about what kind of people to date, when they tell us what time we should come home, or how we can best complete that homework assignment, we shouldn’t roll our eyes as if they don’t know anything. That would be to treat them lightly, that is, to dishonor them.
God wants us to honor our parents and those in authority because this is his plan for building a civil society. God could have made it so that when we were born we would come into this world as fully mature adults. Isn’t that how it was for Adam and Eve? But since then God’s design was that mature adults would serve as his representatives to raise children to become contributing members of society and God-fearing people. To dishonor our parents is to mess with God’s blueprint for a happy life on earth – like a two-year-old purposely smearing apple sauce all over big sister’s art project. A two-year-old may think that’s funny but big sister doesn’t. Neither do our sarcastic remarks or our dirty looks shot at our parents amuse God.
But what if your parents aren’t all that great? Some are even abusive. Are we to honor people like that? Paul’s admonition regarding the honor that we owe our governing officials answers this question. Paul said to Christians living in Rome: “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established... 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves… 4 For he is God’s servant to do you good... 7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor” (Romans 13:1a, 2, 4a, 7). Do you remember who reigned as the governing official when Paul spoke these words? It was the emperor Nero. He actively persecuted Christians and used them as human torches to light his garden parties. And yet Paul said that even such a man, because he was in a position of God-given authority, was deserving of his subjects’ honor.
No, we shouldn’t obey those in authority if they tell us to do something sinful but even then we are to show honor. Think of how the three amigos: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did just that when they politely told Nebuchadnezzar that they were not going to obey his command to bow down to an idol (Daniel 3). What an impression that must have made on the king! He still threw them into the fiery furnace but when the three amigos came out unscathed and un-smoked, the king was eager to learn more about the God these young men worshipped. Would Nebuchadnezzar have been so eager had they cursed him as they fell into the flames?
But how do you honor parents who are abusive? How do you honor teachers who are just putting in the time to get their paycheck? How do you honor God’s leaders in his church when they don’t measure up to your standard of professionalism? Pray for them and encourage them. Compliment the things that they do well and speak well of them to others. If anything will change their behavior, this will. But even if it doesn’t, God’s will for you is to continue to honor them. Take to heart Paul’s inspired words regarding this matter: “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men” (Ephesians 6:5-7).
We want to obey the Fourth Commandment, not just because it’s in our best interests to do so but because it’s one way to honor the God who created and saved us. I mean if Jesus were to stand in front of you right now, wouldn’t you be awestruck? There he is holding out his nail-scarred hands to you – a tattoo of his love and proof of your forgiveness. Wouldn’t you run over and invite him home for lunch? And during the meal wouldn’t you want him to tell you what it was like to descend into hell and proclaim his victory over death? After all that it would be hard to see him go. You’d say, “Stay Jesus. Rule over us and care for us.” And he would respond: “I am, through your parents, your teachers, your mayor, your called workers… Honor them as you honor me.”
Of course scoffers are quick to point out that not everyone who has honored his parents has enjoyed a long life. No, but it’s still generally true that those who are respectful of authority will escape a lot of hardship and heartache. Those who listen to the advice of their parents won’t repeat the same mistakes they did. Those who obey the laws of the land, no matter how dumb they may seem, will keep themselves safe. For example I didn’t grow up wearing a bike helmet so when St. Albert passed a bylaw that stated even adults had to wear them, I grumbled about it. I rode a bike every day as a kid, sometimes for hours and never came close to hitting my head. The only thing that proves, however, is that God was watching over me. And now he’s watching over me through this bike helmet law. I’d be foolish to disobey it.
But not everyone who obeys such laws is spared harm. When that happens did God not keep the promise he made in the Fourth Commandment? God does sometimes take young people to be with him to spare them from the evil they would have suffered later (Isaiah 57:1). And conversely God may prolong the life of someone who routinely disobeys those in authority to give them more time to repent. Either case is an example of God’s grace. But the general principle holds true: honor your parents and you will enjoy a long life.
This should go without saying but the Fourth Commandment doesn’t just apply to children. God spoke the command to the entire assembly of Israel including adults. In other words, God wants us to continue to honor our parents as long as they are alive. One way to show such honor is by caring for them in their old age. Is that difficult, time-consuming, and expensive? It can be. But what a wonderful way for us to show love to those who took care of us! The story is told about the child who was tired of doing chores. He thought he should get paid for his work so after he washed the dishes and took out the trash he gave his mom a bill for $10. That night the boy found a bill on his pillow. His mom was charging him $20 a day for food, another $20 for the room, and $50 a week to be driven to school and soccer practice. Another $10,000 had been tacked on for the nights his mom had stayed up to care for him while he was sick. The total came to…nothing. That’s what the mother wrote on the bill with the added note, “I love you!” The boy never submitted another bill for household chores after that.
Ah, but what if our parents weren’t very good to us growing up and weren’t like the mother in that story? Think back to what the Apostle Paul said. We still honor and respect such people because by doing so we honor God himself. Dare we submit God a bill for all he has done and continues to do for us? Not when the bill for our sin is paid, thanks to God’s Son.
There’s a lot of competing advice out there for what it takes to enjoy long life on earth. Go ahead and eat ginger curry and dink copious cups of tea. Life may be tastier that way but it won’t be truly divine unless you take seriously the Fourth Commandment and honor those in authority. But don’t do this because you have to. Do it because you know the command comes from a loving God who put these authority figures in your life to bless you. Amen.
