Are you holding a grudge? A grudge? You know, you can’t physically see it but hidden in your heart is something of substance. Something you have a tendency to hang onto, even hold close. It’s a resistance. It’s reluctance. It’s a rebellion, and it’s resentment. You know you should forgive and forget but you don’t and you won’t. Why? It’s because it’s so easy to hold onto a grudge. In fact, in some circles, one is actually expected to hold a grudge. In fact, in some circles of society, you compare your grudge with someone else’s grudge and compete to discover who holds the greater grudge. What do you mean Pastor Bob?
I mean for some of you it happened last week. You were told by a friend to meet him/her at a restaurant. You drove to the restaurant where you sat and waited. The waiter even approached you a couple of times asking, “Hey, are you meeting somebody? Do you want to order now?” “Oh no, they’re going to be here, they’re going to be here, they’ll be here. I--I trust them, they’ll be here.” And guess what? They weren’t there. In fact, they never showed up. In fact, they never even called and now you’ve got a grudge.
They called you later, “Hey you okay?” “Yeah I’m fine, I’m fine.” “Were you not going to call me?” “I’m calling you now. ‘I’m really sorry.’” “Oh sorry, thank you very much.” “You mean you don’t forgive me? Well?” “Well what? Well, I’m just holding onto my grudge.”
And you’re still holding it right now. It’s in your hand, you walked into church, “Hi!” You started worshipping the Lord, “Hi!” Some of you are wearing it on your sleeve, “Hello!” You’ve got your grudge.
Maybe for you it wasn’t a canceled appointment. No, maybe you shared something really secret with a friend and it was so secret you even made a pinkie promise. Two days ago, a friend who is a mutual friend says, “Oh, I heard. Yeah, she told me what you said.” I said, “Excuse me? Pardon me?” “Yeah, I know how you felt because you know, she said...” “Wait a minute what did she say?” Calling your friend, you exclaim, “I can’t believe you broke a confidence! I thought we were friends. I had no idea you were going to do that. I will never share a secret with you, ever again!”
Got a grudge, do you? No, my grudge is a little different. Did you ever buy something…? I bought a TV just before Christmas last year from a department store.
When I took it out of the box, it had a dent in it that bothered me. I called the store and said, “There’s a dent in my new TV.” “We’ll send out a service man.” You know, it has been a nightmare dealing with this company. And right now, I have promised to never buy anything from that store again.
Shared a secret? Appointment didn’t show? Buy a product? How about this one? You do something nice for someone and they don’t say thanks. Did you ever do that?
Wives, have you ever made a big dinner, a roast? Last Sunday, you put something in the oven. You actually used the oven, a real oven, not a microwave. When your roast was done, you brought it out to serve your family and then, you waited. No one said anything. They’re cutting the meat. “Yea, it’s a roast. I made a roast.” “Oh that’s great babe. That’s great.” What happened in your heart? “I can’t believe they didn’t say anything at all. See if I ever cook again!”
“That oven can stay off for another year. I don’t care! My evil and wicked kids are so ungrateful!” “Wait, stop it! Can you just…?” “No, I can’t drop it! You want me to drop my grudge? Leave it? Let it go?” “Yeah, can you just drop it?” “No, I can’t!”
No, you can’t and you won’t. “No, I could, I just don’t want to.” Do you know why you don’t want to drop your grudge? Listen, here’s why. Some people won’t drop their grudge because they would run out of things to say and have nothing to talk about. If you drop your grudge, you might actually have to say nice things. “You mean I couldn’t be obnoxious anymore, bugging people about what I’m bugged by? What would I do with my time? Who would I call? I can’t imagine picking up the phone, ‘Hi, what’s going on?’ That can’t be good. I’ve to have my grudge back!”
“Well, let me tell you what happened. My son-in-law came over last week and I made a big meal. My daughter’s sitting right there.” “Oh you think that’s something? Let me tell you what happened to me.” It’s easy, it’s expected. Why? Here’s why.
Holding a grudge is easy and many times expected of us because we are a sinful people and we live on a sinful planet. We all have sinful problems. And many times, our sin is just something that seems to, “get stuck.” Even if you want to get rid of your grudge, we feel stuck and we can’t get free from it very easily.
You can get rid of your grudge but you have to be ready to drop it. “Can you drop it?” “Bob, I don’t know if I can.” You can, in fact and I’ll tell you why. In fact, I’ll give you two reasons. Reason number one: You should drop your grudge because the world recommends it. What do you mean the world recommends it? I mean here on the front cover of the US News and World Report from January, “Fifty Ways to Improve Your Life.”
One of those fifty ways to improve your life is to, “forgive and drop your grudge.” And here’s why, listen to this. Although theologians might differ on what constitutes true forgiveness, academics, in their study in the field of forgiveness have come to understand an easy definition. What’s that?
“Something happens on the inside when we forgive others and let go of negative emotions. Everett Worthington, a Psychology professor at Virginia Commonwealth University who has researched the act of forgiveness, says forgiveness is an amazing thing. The act of forgiveness has health benefits.”
Why is forgiveness such a healthy choice? The article continues, “Peace of mind is not enough. Researchers have also found that forgiveness provides significant health benefits. Fred Luskin, director of the Sanford Forgiveness Project says that many people nurse their grudges, refusing to let them go.” “Hi, weren’t they mean to you?” “They were and you’re the only one who understands!” “It’s just the two of us, huh?”
“Well, what do you want to do today? Let’s first talk about how you were hurt.” “It hurt so bad.” “I know. How are you feeling about your pain?” “I feel bad.” “Me too.” What’s the problem with this? The article continues, “Unforgiveness is going to raise your blood pressure. Holding a grudge will deplete your immune function. It’s going to make you more easily depressed, and it can cause enormous stress to your entire body.”
Some of you drink protein drinks to make your body strong. Some of you get massages to make your body feel good. What I’m saying, however, is if you’ll actually let go of your grudge today, it could be just the healing you need.
The world recommends that you let go of your grudge although that’s not the most important reason to drop your grudge. No, the better reason is that the Word of God requires it. The Word requires it? Its Matthew chapter six and I’ve asked you to draw your attention to what we commonly call, “The Lord’s Prayer.” You’ll know what I’m talking about as I read verse nine. In this manner therefore pray, our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done…” You know this prayer.
What you may not know as I draw your attention to verse twelve is this. “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” As we forgive our debtors? God, You forgive us the same way we forgive everyone else? Now I ask you honestly, do you want God to forgive you the same way you forgive everyone else?
Excuse me? I don’t know that you want God to forgive you the same way that you forgive everyone else unless you’re in a position of automatic or immediate. “Hey don’t, no big deal, never mind, I’m not going to pick it up. I wouldn’t even pick up a grudge. I’m just going to lay it down, man. I don’t even pick up grudges.” Why? Here’s why.
The Lord’s Prayer doesn’t end with “Amen.” Some people think it does because of what it says in the second half of verse thirteen: For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen. You think that’s the end of the Lord’s Prayer because he says, “Amen?” No, Amen is not the end of the prayer. We think it is because that’s how we pray here in the United States. But the word “Amen” simply means, “right on,” or “absolutely,” or “I agree.”
The prayer continues, look at verse fourteen, it says: "For if you forgive…” “For if?” Yeah the prayer is not over. He says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Do you like that? “No, Bob I didn’t know this was in the Bible. I can’t pray that. I can’t believe that. Is this an extra page? Can I just tear this out right now?” No it’s not an extra page. I think there are a few pages you’d like to believe are extra pages. Here, instead is what God’s saying. God’s saying, “Hey, it’s time to forgive. It’s time to forgive.”
Take a look at the word for “forgive” in verse fourteen. If you have a pencil handy, you could write these two-word phrases. Here’s what happens when you forgive. “You let alone. You leave behind. You let go. You lay aside.” What’s that?
Now that I’ve got my grudge in my hand, here’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to let it alone. I’m supposed to lay it aside. I’m supposed to leave it behind. I’m supposed to let it go. That’s what it means to forgive. You say, “Bob, that sounds great in theory pal, but you’ve got to be honest. As a pastor, I’m sure you’re aware that there are some cases, some conditions, some causes that are unforgivable. I would imagine that God can’t even forgive those. Isn’t that why hell exists--for those people you just can’t forgive?”
If you believe this way, you might find yourself in Peter’s position. Peter’s position? Its Matthew chapter eighteen. Go there with me please, drawing your attention to verse twenty one, we read. “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’"
Pause right there before we go any further. Peter’s position? Arrogance and assumption, limits and lines. Arrogance and assumption? Did you notice Peter’s question? Look again. Peter asked of the Lord, “If somebody sins against me, I am supposed to forgive them seven times? Why do you think Peter automatically and arrogantly assumed that most sin on planet earth is from others sinning against him?
Peter doesn’t put it this way. “God, if I blow it and I sin against others seven times, should they forgive me up to seven times?” Oh no, no, no, no. And that’s the problem with so many people who are carrying a grudge. Many of those who carry grudges have already determined it’s your fault. It’s conspiracy thinking, “Man that government, man that corporation, man those churches.” Oh it’s not you is it? “No. I sin not. It’s the rest of the world. It’s all you guys who sin. I alone am righteous.” Stop it please!
What arrogance and what assumption! Why does Jesus say to forgive those who sin against you up to seven times? I’ll tell you why. Lines and limits. Rabbinical thinking in that day suggested forgiving three times. Do you understand? In the synagogue, the Rabbi would suggest, if somebody sins against you, you forgive them. If somebody sins against you for the second time, you forgive them. If somebody sins against you for a third time, you forgive them. And, after transgressing against you four times, you don’t owe them anything.
Now Peter, aware of rabbinical thought comes to Jesus and says, “Hey Jesus, we’re special followers of the Messiah and I know most people forgive three times, but I think it would be a really cool thing to forgive seven times. I mean how do you feel about this Lord? If my brother sins against me seven times and seven times I forgive him? Pretty magnanimous, wouldn’t You say? Pretty generous of me?
Come on Lord, do You see how righteous I am? Verse twenty two Jesus says: "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
I’m sure Peter must have gone, “Wait, wait, wait, I thought I was being righteous. I thought I was being holy. I thought I was being good to forgive seven times. And You’re telling me I have to forgive seventy times seven? Let me see, seventy times seven--four hundred and ninety, so I can stop forgiving on the four hundred and ninety first time?” No, no, no, no. See seven times seventy, it’s a Hebrew idiom.
You should be in a spirit of forgiveness all the time. You understand sinful behavior because we’re all sinners and we know we live in a sinful society. So because you’re a sinner and everyone else is a sinner, the only way we’re going to get a long is if we continue to walk in forgiveness.
Jesus explains to Peter that the number of times you forgive that is important but important to keep an ongoing forgiving attitude. “Pastor Bob, should we just forgive the little stuff? You know, the stuff that bugs you--you know? Hey, I asked for a medium-size drink!” “That is a medium-sized drink!” “You mean the kind of stuff like, ‘Hey you just cut in front of me!’ Oh, man, okay, forgiveness.” That’s the kind of stuff he means right--the real minor, insignificant, circumstantial stuff, right? I can do that—forgive four hundred ninety times. I do it a lot.
No, that’s not what he means. He means even the big stuff. He means even the things that really hurt you, the things that even now, you’re still hanging onto. Remember when we started this study and I asked, “Do you have a grudge?” You said, “Yes, but you’re not going to take it away from me! I don’t care what you say. Maybe I came to the wrong study, but I’ve got a grudge and I’m holding onto it. You can try and talk me out of it if you’d like to but this is my grudge, I’ve had it for years. I ain’t letting it go in forty five minutes, pal!”
Well, we might need a little more for your heart to study and we have a little more for your heart to study. What’s that? Jesus says this, and He knows He’s blowing his disciples out of the water. Watch what happens.
In verse twenty three, we read. "Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.” Your attention please.
I got three little sentences you can jot down. The first one is this: “Let go of the grudge and grab hold of the goal.” The goal. What goal? I don’t see a goal? Take a look at verse twenty-four he says: he owed him ten thousand talents.
Can you forgive a debt of ten thousand talents? A newer translation says it this way, “He owed him millions of dollars.” Millions of dollars. The original language translated as, “there wasn’t a set amount.” The debt is so enormous there was no way the servant could pay it back. What does somebody owe you? Millions of what--millions of apologies? Maybe millions of dollars?
He says, and here’s the goal, “let it go.” “I don’t know if I can do that.” No, here’s why you should do that. The goal, is love. Love is found in forgiveness. Do you understand? The Bible teaches, jot it down, 1st Corinthians thirteen and five, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” And, since love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, we don’t keep track of how many times we’ve forgiven.
No, stop. You’re supposed to walk in forgiveness. Why? The Bible says, “love covers a multitude of sins.” “Bob, this is quite goal.” Yeah, but it’s what we’re called to do as Christians, “to love.” So God says, “Love your wife.”
Now those of you who are married know you have to forgive. In marriage you have to. Why? She’s a sinner and you’re a sinner, everyone’s a sinner. You have to forgive. When you walk into a marriage relationship, you should cross the threshold and determine to always forgive and love your wife.” This is harder for some because you think, “Oh man, here’s what the Bible says, ‘love covers a multitude of sins.’” And if “love covers a multitude of sins” is true, wouldn’t it also be true that “hate looks for every problem, every offense, every wrong attitude?”
Have you found yourself in a—“That bothers me. Why do you even hold your mouth like that? Now why do you…? Sitting there watching television your hand is in your belt. Can you take your hand out? I don’t even like that. What are you doing?”
“You are a nitpicking man!” You’re always looking for others’ offenses because you want to find issue with them. Sometimes what we consider sinful behavior by others is not. Sometimes what we hold them accountable for is not even sin. “Is holding their mouth like that a sin?” They’re just living their life and you’ve decided something they do is sinful because it bothers you and now you’ve decided to carry a grudge. “Here’s what I don’t like about my husband. Let me tell you what I don’t like. It’s the way he sits. It’s the way he looks. It’s the way he talks. It’s the way he walks. It’s the way he comes home.”
You know what I’m talking about, and you could just... He’ll walk in a room, there he is. “Hi honey! Oh Hi honey, huh? “Yeah, hi honey. What is that?” That’s sin, not in his life but in your life. So what has to happen is that God says, “I have a goal for you.” Come on, let’s love our husbands and love our wives.
The next: Love your kids. Some of you might say, “That’s easy.” Why? Well, because I love them. They remind me so much of me because I love me so much and I see me in them! You love your kids because you see so much of yourself and you’re so sympathetic to you because you love you.
Oh I understand that attitude that’s me, I love that. Of course it’s wrong, “But man, I love them!” So God says, Okay, I got another one for you. Love your wife, love your kids; love your neighbor, as yourself.” “Which one? Do you mean my nice Christian neighbor who attends church here?” No, no, no, no. Come on let’s see what real love is.
Now here’s the goal, are you ready? We’re going to march out in uncharted territory. I want you to love your heathen neighbor. I want you to love your heathen, Hell’s angel; pot-smoking, coke-blowing, alcohol-drinking, loud and obnoxious neighbor. “No, I can’t do it anymore! This is too much this Christianity!”
You know what’s amazing? For some of us, it really is. That’s too much to actually love. “You just don’t understand, you don’t live next door to them!” No, no, no, listen, I have my own grudges, do you understand? I have to work through my own issues.
For instance, my issue today? The air and sea show. I don’t know if you understand what it’s like for a pastor to have this thing happen once a year in this area, but it’s the one weekend of the entire year when attendance is so low here at church. There’s plenty, there’s been plenty of parking space all weekend. You probably had an easy time parking, right? Why?
There aren’t too many people here today, why? The air and sea show. Help me out with that-- airplanes flying? You want to see airplanes fly? Go to the airport. I’m still here, huh? Yeah, I’m going to still be here. I’ll still have Bible studies. I’ll still have pages and notes. Yeah, I’m working. My point is this. This is exactly how it goes. The people you have no grudge against are the end result of feeling your grudge. Isn’t it interesting? “I’m mad at everyone’s who’s not here.” “You’re here, Bob. We’re here. We didn’t skip. We went last night.” “Oh, so you still had to go did you, huh?”
I actually like the air and sea show even if it is the lightest attendance weekend of the entire year here at the church. And I could, as a pastor, have an attitude, cop a grudge, but I can’t. Do you know why?
Romans chapter two, please go there with me and you’ll see in the first verse why I can’t carry a grudge. We read, Romans 2:1 Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. What’s that?
I may not be at the air and sea show but I want to be at the air and sea show, so what’s the reality? Well the real reality is, I’m judging somebody else for something I would like to do. So how am I not guilty? He says, “No, you’re without excuse.”
Now keep in mind the first chapter of the book of Romans is a reminder of why we have a Creator, stating that the invisible things God has created declares that there is a Designer, even though He (God) is invisible.
Further evidence of a “Designer” is the fact that we have something in our hearts that helps us know the difference between right and wrong. And, with that ability to know right from wrong, it is important not to judge others, allowing a grudge to take hold but to always be mindful that you may have done the same thing you are judging someone else for.
What do you mean? The ought you have against your brother? You’re mad because he didn’t show up for the appointment? Have you ever forgotten an appointment? “Well, that was different.” No, no, no, it may not be so different. Have you ever not said thank you to someone who did something nice for you? “Well, there was this one time.”
That’s the problem isn’t it? When you judge someone else, you’re actually saying, in essence is that you know the difference between right and wrong and you’ve never done any wrong. You’ve always done it right. No you haven’t.
So what happens when you do wrong? You should declare your wrong and also declare how right God is when he forgives your wrong. Look at what it says in the next verse. Verse 2-3: But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Now watch verse four it’s the key.
Verse 4: Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and long-suffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? What’s that?
If you’re holding a grudge against someone and you want them to change, how are they going to change as long as they know you are holding a grudge against them? That’s not how God does goodness or grace. Here’s what happens. Jesus is hanging on a cross for our sins. On planet earth, we have mankind hurling insults His direction. They are mocking him, they’re spitting on him.
Well what did Jesus do in retaliation? Did he hold a grudge? Jesus, with both hands nailed to the cross. God’s own creation, mankind, hurling judgment at Him. What did He say from the cross? “I’ll be back. I’m carrying big grudges here!” No! Here’s what He said. It’s very important.
He said, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” Now do you understand the difference? Here’s the difference. I don’t want a relationship with a God who’s always angry at me and not understanding when I fail. I love having a relationship with a God who is very understanding and has compensated for my failure. It’s what grace is all about.
You see, God came up with this whole idea. “I don’t want you to blow it, but if you blow it, I have a plan for you. And the reason I have a plan in case you blow it, is because I created you and I know you’ll blow it. Now I didn’t actually give you an ‘out’ because I knew you would blow it. I gave you an out because you would blow it.” Do you understand?
“Well, I think I do, Pastor Bob.” You see, as our little puppy Spot continues to work through her own obedience, if I get really mad at her, she will run in an opposite direction from me because she’s fearful, aware that judgment is going to come. But if in fact, I am sweet and kind as I train and discipline her, she comes back to me because she knows I’m not angry. I only want the best for her.
The same thing is true if you have a grudge right now against somebody and they come to you and say, “Oh man, I’m so sorry will you please forgive me?” “Let me think about it. Hmmm, I don’t know are you really, really sorry?” “Yeah, I’m so sorry and I just need forgiveness. I need to know that everything’s okay between us.” “Why? Why do you need to know this?” “Because I’m in pain. I want our relationship to be restored.” “Hmmm, you’re in pain, are you? I like it when you’re in pain because I was in pain because of what you did so maybe I can make it worse for you than it was for me by holding onto my grudge.”
You sinner! You sinner! “Bob, why do you say it that way? It’s what He says. Look back with me to Matthew chapter eighteen, look what happens next. Verse twenty eight. "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a few thousand bucks; he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'You pay me what you owe!' "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.” Your attention please. What did he do?
The guy who was released from the millions of dollars in debt found someone who owed him a few thousand dollars and threw him in jail even though the debtor begged forgiveness the same way he had begged for forgiveness from his master? That is just not right. It’s just not right. That’s why listen, “Let go of your grudge and grab hold of the goal.” That was the first point. Second sentence, “Let go of the grudge and grab hold of the growth. The growth? What do you mean by the growth?
It’s a very easy thing for you to go judge somebody else even after you’ve been forgiven. That’s very easy for you to do. The more supernatural thing for you to do is go and find somebody and extend to them forgiveness because you also have been forgiven.
“Oh yeah, I will Bob, let me tell you something, I would if--if my friend, with whom I have a grudge against would repent. My friend hasn’t repented. And I don’t think you just forgive sin when someone doesn’t repent, right?”
I hear the issue at hand, but can I remind you that when it comes to forgiveness, you both have a duty and a directive? Duty and directive? Go with me to Luke chapter seventeen, that’s where you see...go there quickly. Here’s what the Bible says, Luke seventeen and three, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; if he repents, forgive him. “See, Pastor Bob? It says, ‘if he repents, forgive him.’ So, if he hasn’t repented, I don’t have to forgive him, right?”
No, no, look at verse four. “If he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times a day returns to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” He says, “should he repent continually, you must forgive continually.”
The apostles, in response say, “Lord, that sounds like such a big thing to do, increase our faith.” And He says now, and here’s the truth (verse 6). “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to the Mulberry tree, ‘be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come on in, sit down to eat?’ No, wouldn’t you rather say, 'Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink?’ Now does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'”
It’s your duty, it’s not something that’s optional. If somebody repents, we should automatically forgive them. We should not even question this command. Why? Because it’s my duty as a Christian and is a basic principle in the Christian faith If someone repents, I have to forgive. “Yeah, but Pastor Bob, what about the question, ‘What if someone does not repent?’”
It is still your duty, and it is also your directive. My directive? This time, its Luke chapter six, drawing your attention to verse thirty two. Luke 6:32: "But if you love those who love you, what credit is it to you? (a newer translation reads, “big deal”) For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you (or, “big deal)? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, ‘big deal.’ Even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But you, (verse thirty five) love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return. Listen to that again, “Lend, hoping for nothing in return.” Now that’s a word for Bank of America!
No, this is a Word for us, listen (Verse 35), “Lend, hoping for nothing in return,” and here’s why, He says, “and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and the evil.
God is kind to unthankful and evil people. Doesn’t that blow your mind? Doesn’t that blow your mind that right now, today, God is being kind to us here at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale? Giving us the sunshine and giving us a beautiful--He’s happy with and He’s kind to us. He’s also letting the sun shine at Fort Lauderdale beach where there’s probably a beer-drinking heathen cursing His name and listening to ugly, hip-hop music.
You say, “Bob it’s not that nice out in the world anymore.” Let me tell you something, if I was God, I’d make it sunshine right over our church all day. Beautiful day, in fact I’d even adjust the thermostat and form a light breeze out of the East. Then, over the sea and air show, lightening bolts—bam—bam—bam! And I’d even fly my own plane with a banner that reads, “Go to church, heathen dogs!” That’s what I would do. “Now wait, wait, wait,” you go, “Boy am I glad you’re not God, Bob!” Yeah, there are a lot of people very thankful I’m not God.
Here’s the point: God says, “That’s so not me. Here’s what I’d do. I’m nice. I’ll provide air and water and sunshine and sunsets and I’ll provide all of that to the evil and ungrateful people as well to show how nice I am.” I think that’s a powerful thing and here’s why. If there are two types of people that bug me the most, it’s the evil and ungrateful. Do you know what I mean?
Have you ever opened a door for someone and have them walk right through and not say anything? And it’s like, “You’re welcome.” What was that about? Have you ever let another driver into your lane to go ahead of you and they pull right in and they don’t even bother to do a rear view mirror thing like, “Hey thanks?”
I’d like to pull up beside them and say, “Come on! You owe me, man!” “I don’t do nice things for people unless they do nice things for...” Oh no, is that why Jesus died on the cross? I’ll be nice to you if you’re nice to me. No, let me tell you something, He died for the sins of the world, the Bible says.
It’s your duty. It’s your directive, if not, it’s your defilement. My defilement? It’s Hebrews chapter twelve, you don’t have to turn there. Listen to this in verse fourteen. Hebrews 12 and 14, the Bible teaches. “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. Now listen to that again.
Now listen again, He says, “If you don’t, as you duty, drop it, if you don’t as your directive, throw it,” He says, “This very thing is going to be your defilement because this thing, like a bitter root, it’s going to grow up and it’s going to get bigger and will eventually defile many people.” You’ve seen that happen. What happens?
A woman goes through an ugly divorce and she starts another relationship. This new guy treats her a little the way the first guy did and she comes home and says to her daughter, “Men, let me tell you about men. They’re all the same! And I’ll tell you a few things about men and it will help you in your life with men!” It won’t take very long before the daughter comes to believe the same things you do about men.
If you come home bothered about corporate America, complaining to your kids about your workplace, complaining about American government, believing that you, as a lowly employee don’t have a chance for success, your kids will buy into your beliefs and want to avoid work or other opportunities for growth, all because of the grudge you continue to hold onto. God wants you to drop the grudges, throw them away.
Do you know about giant toads in Florida, the Bufo marinus? If you have a dog or a cat, you need to know about these giant toads. The “Giant Toad” is a frog native to Florida, and if captured, secretes a milky white poison from behind its eyes that can be deadly to a dog or cat. The poison can first cause a pet’s eyes to burn, the tongue to inflame, foaming at the mouth and you’ll likely have to shop for a new dog. It will kill your dog, it’s that serious.
Now what we do when our dog has something in its mouth? I’ll put my hand out like this, and I’ll say, “Spot, hand.” That’s my dog’s name, “Spot.” “Spot, hand, hand,” and she knows, she knows to open her mouth. Why? Whatever she’s got in her mouth, she knows it belongs in my hand and not in her mouth. Why? I don’t want her to have something in her that might kill her, or blind her, or choke her, or makes her foam.
You might, right now have a grudge in your mouth. You’re sitting here and here’s what will happen. Your eyes are going to begin to burn and you’re going to see things in a blurry way because you’re looking at life through your grudge. Then, your skin is going to inflame and you’ll actually be angry (or red) about a lot of things in life.
Have you ever seen somebody’s boiling point that’s a little higher and more inappropriate than others? All you have to say is, “Hi.” “What do you mean, ‘Hi!?’ “What?” And they are mad. And then they foam at the mouth. You know, inside, you start to grow a white thing right there, coming from your mouth… And you say, “I can’t believe you guys are on me! It’s corporations like yours, it’s ministries like yours, it’s …?” Yikes, what happened?
I know exactly what happened. You have that grudge in your mouth and it’s growing and you refuse to let it go, then your spiritual life begins to die. You’re dying and it’s not funny. We all know somebody who, right now is dying on the inside. It’s because they’re carrying grudges that they won’t let go of. Now, they’ve got a warped sense of society and relationships, they have none because they won’t get close to anybody and no one will get close to them. Why?
When you are covered in this stuff and somebody sees you coming. “Hey, how ya doing?” “I want a hug but if I hug you, I’ll get the goo of my grudge on you.” “Yeah, you are.” And they can see it and you can see it and you know it and they know it and yet you keep on hiding because you can’t let it go. No, no, no…
Let go of the grudge. Go for the goal, the growth. Last point: “Let go of the grudge.” And here’s how, you can write it down. “Grab hold of the glory! What do you mean the glory?
Matthew 18:31-35 says, "So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."
Glorious! You say, “Bob, that’s not very glorious. What do you mean? Torturer, hey, check out the glory of the Lord, as He tortures the heathen.” No, it is glorious. Stay with me. It is a very glorious thing for God to forgive sin. But do you know that for everyone who’s been a victim it will be a glorious day when those that commit the crime are judged? Do you know that it will be a glorious day when Adolph Hitler pays the price for his horrific atrocity? That’s a glorious thing?
Revelation sixteen and five through seven, the angels in heaven are applauding God for his righteous judgments. They declare, true and just are your judgments, oh God. True and just.
God’s not going to inflict His anger, vengeance or wrath upon anyone who doesn’t deserve it. But, for everyone who does deserve His anger, vengeance and wrath, it will be a very glorious thing.
Here’s what God says to you now. Listen, Romans twelve eighteen: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay’ says the Lord. Therefore ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink.’”
We see in this Scripture from Romans that God has a plan that He is the Judge and will be able to judge everyone perfectly. God is asking you to forgive others because He is the Judge and we are not.
So, what am I supposed to do? Romans chapter twelve closes this way: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
From the same article on “Forgiveness” in the US News and World Report, here’s how I will close. “Amy Beal died a violent death in 1993. The twenty-six-year-old, white, Fulbright scholar was registering black voters for South Africa’s first free election when we she was dragged out of her car, stabbed and beaten to death by a mob of angry black Africans intent on the violent overthrow of the apartheid government. Soon Amy’s parents, Linda and Peter Beal quit their jobs and moved from Orange County, California to South Africa. What did they do?
“I’m a dad and you took the life of my daughter. I’m packing my bags and I’m coming to South Africa and let me tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to start a Foundation in Amy’s name.” Toda, two of Amy’s killers will work for that foundation. In fact they call Linda, Amy’s mom, their grandmother because she treats them as her sons. Listen as I close.
“Forgiving,” says Linda, Amy’s mom, “is looking at ourselves and saying, ‘I don’t want to go through life feeling hateful and revengeful because that’s not going to do me any good.’ No, we took Amy’s lead. We did what we felt she would want.”
“What do you mean Pastor Bob? That’s not a race thing.” But in the wrong heart it becomes a race thing, doesn’t it, where it’s white against blacks and the “haves” against the “have-nots.” That’s what you do when you continue to you carry a grudge.
“You took mine, I’ll take yours.” What does that do? Hate returns hate, injustice returns injustice. God says, “No, here’s what I’ve done for you. I’ve given you the spirit of saving grace and when you were in the pit and had nothing to offer me, I forgave you. And I’m simply asking you to do the same.”
Ephesians four thirty-two. We memorize this as a kid. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
What’s that? Be kind, tenderhearted and forgive the same way God in Christ forgave you. Now how did God in Christ Jesus forgive you? Here’s how he forgave you. Again, hanging on a cross Jesus looks at planet earth, he sees all of our stupidity, our foolishness, our rebellion and He says, “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing.”
If those who committed the crimes had realized the price they would soon have to pay, they wouldn’t have behaved that way. I’m saying to you that today, unlike any other day, I’m convinced that you were supposed to be here. Why? Well, think it through, I’m between a book from the Bible and series study and God placed this study, “Got a Grudge?” in my lap.
Personally, I’m not going through anything right now but sometimes that’s how I end up with a topic for our Bible studies. I may be going through something, and while I’m reading Scripture on my own, I am prompted to share my heart about what I’m experiencing. That’s not the case right now. I can put my head on the bed tonight and say I’m at peace with God and I’m at peace with every man. I have nothing against anyone. Do you know how free that is? What is it like to lie down in bed at night and if you’ve been carrying something, saying, “God I want to sleep? I want to be free. I want my heart clean. I don’t want to hold on to anything about anybody, God.” Do you know what that’s like? To have peace in your heart and know that you’ve got nothing against anyone and that everything’s okay between you and God?
I’m convinced that because you’re here and not at the air and sea show that God wanted you to hear this message and if not for you, maybe for someone you know. And if in fact, this message is for you, here’s what I want you to do. You be the spiritual one. You be the one who takes the step in the right direction. You pick up the phone this afternoon and call that someone. Say, “Hey, you know what? I’ve been hanging onto something for a really long time and I--I just want you to know I’m ready to lay it down.” You be the one who invites them to your house as he, on the phone, whispers to his wife, “It’s him, he invited us over, he wants us to come over, he hasn’t had us over for sixteen years.” “Well, what’s up? Sure. When?”
And, you know what’s going to happen? Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to die and you’ll be so glad you didn’t die with this junk in your heart. When you stand before God, you didn’t have to say, “Hi God, oh that?” No, today’s the day to leave it, the day to walk away, to drop it. Let’s pray.
