When a Man Loves a Woman
Ephesians 5:21-33
INTRODUCTION
Michael Bolton belts out romantic loves songs. One of his most inspiring is his cover of "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge. Released in 1966, the song originally made to number one on both the Billboard Hot 100 and R&B singles charts. It was listed 54th in the List of Rolling Stone magazine's 500 greatest songs of all time. Michael Bolton won an Grammy for his cover of the song.
Why is this song so popular. Is the powerful voice of Michael Bolton, Percy Sledge, that had something to do with it. Was it the incredible arrangement, well that had something to do with it also. But more than anything else I believe the songs popularity is tied to the description of what love looks like when a man truly loves a woman. It a definition written on our hearts by the creator that is so powerful that it resonates with us when we hear it.
Listen to just a little of the words.
When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way it ought to be
T.S. Those lyrics describe a love that goes way beyond the Eros, Sexual sensual love, it goes way beyond Phileos, (brotherly friendship kind of love), it exceeds the Sugase Love (family love of those biologically connected to you. Those lyrics hint at the Love that the apostle Paul challenged followers of Jesus to when it came husbands loving their wives.
An Agape Love: A love that looks beyond our faults and needs needs... A love that totally commends itself toward the one loved.
Today we begin a journey looking at Relationships
Relationships. Family. Friends. Co-workers. Some people juggle five, some juggle ten, some juggle twenty or more. No matter how many we relationships we have, each of us has a desire to get relationships right. So why is it so hard sometimes? Spouses struggle with each other. Parents struggle with their children. Children test their parents. Co-workers, subordinates and supervisors have to figure out not just how to get the job done, but how to get along to get it done. Relationships.
But we begin with the relationship that God intended for men and women to find with one another.
P.S. So what happens when a man loves a woman?
Instructions for Christian Households
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A Sacrificing Love Should Emerge.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
It is exclusive
Not a call to sacrifice for every woman, every task, every duty, but it is a call to sacrifice for your wife but for one, YOUR wife.
Love YOUR wife.
The only other thing we're every called to love in such a way is the Jesus.
It is a self sacrificing love.
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself
Gave : Not enforced by law. Willing gift to bend your will for her good. Too make your relationship with her of great importance. Greater than biological family, greater than friendships, more important the sexual passion.
I give myself for the relationship.
ILL: On American Idol Season 10, Contestant Chris Medina has been with his fiancée for eight years, almost three of which they've been engaged. In October 2009, two months before their vows, she was in an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury that left her in a coma for a month-and-a-half. Medina and her mother are now her caregivers. "What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?"
Gentlemen: Has the weight of the commandment ever truly settled on your heart. To what degree does God hold you accountable for loving your wife.
TO THE SAME DEGREE CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH--Nothing less will ever be enough. For the Church Jesus GAVE (freely, willingly) everything!
An Other Changing Love Should Emerge
26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
The expected outcome of encountering agape love is always transformation.
Wives, what should be the outcome of love in your life--Transformation.
It is supposed to, it will if allowed, transform you.
The radiant beauty with which presented yourself at your wedding ceremony, has a chance to become reality.
Leads to transformation
ILL: It is the whole story behind the movie Beauty and Beast. True love transforms us.
It has moral impact (made Holy)
It has a character impact (without spot or blemish)
If you really want to be loved by your husband, and then guess what it means letting the transformation take place so that you become more LOVE worthy.
It is the basis for Respect and Submission
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Caring Nourishing Love Emerges
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body.
Provision--man honors the wife providing for her just as Christ provides for the church.
Agape love leads us to desire to ensure that the everyday needs of life are met first and foremost in the relationship with have with our spouse.
Intimacy produced by Love will emerge
I had the privilege of doing the funeral not long ago for Bill Collich. There is a story about Bill that not everyone knows. He had a huge deep intimacy with his wife olive. It was nurtured and cherished over a lifetime. On the morning of Olive's funeral, Bill got, and insisted on getting dressed with no assistance. He put the suit that he had on when he had married her nearly 60 years earilier.
That type of intimacy only emerges where rela agape love is present.
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
Reference to
Gen 2:15-24
Design to be like this.
For this Reason. . .
To lead to the deepest intimacy
United ... One Flesh
dabaq (daw-bak'); a primitive root; properly, to impinge, i.e. cling or adhere; figuratively, to catch by pursuit:
to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch
a. (Qal)
1. to cling, cleave to
2. to stay with
b. (Pual) to be joined together
c. (Hiphil)
1. to cause to cleave to
2. to pursue closely
3. to overtake
d. (Hophal) to be made to cleave
(the word for glue is devek which likewise comes from the same root). ...
SUMMARY
We are called to agape-love our wives. As we do a self sacrificing, other changing nourishing intimate love emerges.
God holds husbands and wives accountable for its pursuit, but as leaders in our marriages God holds men more accountable.
CHALLENGES
Relationship killers -- A number of things will short circuit how this love relationship will work.
1. Shirking your duty
2. Looking Elsewhere
3. Failing to Commit
4. Giving up
* A husband who believes that marriage requires anything less than his everything.
* A wife who take a husbands love for granted not recognizing HIS worth.
* Believing that deepest intimacy can be found anywhere else than in how God designed marriage to work.
a. Failing to make a cleaving commitment
b. Pursuing intimacy with another.
* Expecting God to bless your relationship to the fullest outside of a lifelong commitment
c. Merely Living together without the commitment to a lifelong pursuit of the oneness
d. Once married having easy come easy go attitude toward Divorce
APPLICATION
Husbands if you've been shirking your duty, decide to change. Consider men's group. Go on the Retreat.
Wives expecting that the secret to intimacy is in changing your husband, when you failed to realize that AGAPE love should change you? Make a respect and appreciation list.
Copped out -- merely living together, haven't made the lifelong commitment. Take the Plunge.
Considering quitting -- Seek help, let it be the last resort, knowing that God's hates divorce.
