Life Simplified
Marriage and Wisdom for the Oneness
October 30, 2011
INTRODUCTION
Studies Find Big Benefits in Marriage
By JENNIFER STEINHAUER
Published: April 10, 1995
Single people may simply not know what's good for them, a recent group of studies suggests.
A body of demographic research presented at the conference of the Population Association of America here today indicates that marriage offers dramatic emotional, financial and even health benefits over the single life and cohabitation.
"Cohabitation has some but not all of the benefits of marriage," said Linda Waite, the association's president, in an address to members in which she argued that the married enjoy better health, more money and more satisfying sex.
An enhanced commitment that comes naturally with marriage, she said, increases all levels of the support that individuals bring to their relationship and lives. "Cohabitation does not generally imply a lifetime commitment to stay together," she said. "Cohabitants are more likely to assume that each partner is responsible for supporting him or herself."
Financial: In terms of money, her research found that married couples were generally more financially well off than couples who simply lived together, because they were much more likely to pool money and invest in the future than were couples who merely cohabitated.
Standard of Living: Increased material well being, she argued, trickles down into investments in better medical care, safer surroundings, better food and other things that raise the standard of living and reduce stress.
Health: The study also traced better health to marriage. Divorced men had twice the rate of alcohol abuse that married men had, and almost as many indulged in other "risk taking" behavior. Divorced women showed similar patterns, though at lower rates.
Meaning: "Marriage may provide individuals with a sense of meaning in their lives," Dr. Waite said, "and a sense of obligation to others, inhibiting risky behaviors and encouraging healthy ones."
The Biggest Surprise: The study revealed the fact that married people report having more and better sex than single people have.
This was breaking news but proverbs understood the meaning of Married with Benefits.
Pr.18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
A Proverbs-Driven Life embraces marriage as the most significant of relationships worth careful nurturing.
Wisdom for chasing the oneness
Gen 2:20-24
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. NIV
I. In a Proverbs-driven marriage the husband nurtures the marriage when . . .
A. Values his wife highly -
Prov 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Prov 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
* He realizes that she is a gift from God
* Especially when she proves to be prudent
* Never seeks to harm her.
B. Allows his wife to prosper
Prov 31:31
31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
NIV
* Allows his wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities
* Lets her reap the benefits of her own labors
C. Praises her profusely
Prov 31:28-29
Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
NIV
* Praises her frequently
* Does not take her for granted
D. Trusts his wife implicitly
Prov 31:11
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
NIV
* Demonstrates a willingness to trust her
* In such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities
* Is not jealous or suspicious
E. Content his wife's love
Prov 5:15-20
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer -- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? NIV
* Does not look elsewhere
* Will save him and his family much harm
II. In a Proverbs-driven marriage the wife nurtures the marriage when . . .
A. Trustworthy
Prov 31:11
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
NIV
* The husband can safely entrust her with his income
* She will not squander what he gives her, but use it in a manner that benefits them both
B. Filled with an enduring love
Prov 31:12
2 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
NIV
* Devoted to doing her husband good all her life
* Just as she vowed in the wedding ceremony
C. Enhances their home with skill and industry.
Prov 31:18-24
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. NIV
D. Developed strength of Character
1. Compassionate - Pr 31:20
Prov 31:20
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. NIV
2. Wise - Pr 31:26
Prov 31:26
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. NIV
E. Diligently sees to her family's need
Prov 31:27
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. NIV
* Makes whatever preparation necessary - cf. Pr 31:15
Prov 31:15
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. NIV
* So that her family does not go in want - cf. Pr 31:21
Prov 31:21
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. NIV
F. Fears the Lord
Prov 31:29-30
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. NIV
* She understands that this quality is more important and praiseworthy than physical beauty
* With the fear of the Lord, she has the potential for great wisdom - Pr 1:7
SUMMARY
Together they pursue and discover the reality of this truth
Eccl 9:9
9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, NIV
CHALLENGE
The marriage covenant is not to alter your spouse but to be the right partner to your spouse. In a proverb driven marriage both spouses protect and nurture the marriage by seeking to be the right partner.
* Learn to live joyfully again.
* Begin with expressing praise rather than finding fault.
* Express statements of worth.
* Work at being the spouse you're called to be (pray the list)
