I Kings 11:1-13
Pre intro, at the beginning of worship services: I’d like you to watch a video this morning, featuring those 2 famous theologians, Jed and Jethro Clampet as they discuss Jethro’s insights into relationships…
(clip from “Beverly Hillbillies” - look for this on Sermonspice)
Relationships. We all have them. We’re all affected by them – probably more than we realize. This entire thing we call Christianity is really summarized by relationships. Jesus said that the whole OT Law was summarized in 2 commands: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Love God, love people. Wouldn’t that make a good slogan? Relationships.
This morning, we’re going to be talking about relationships – especially those that are closest to us. Sure, we’re going to be asking you to consider your relationship with Jesus the most. Nothing could be more important this morning. But we also want you to consider it in light of your other relationships. What does your relationship with your closest companions have to do with relationship with God?
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Re-Intro – (show another clip: Ellie May and Jed Clampet, also on Sermonspice)
Told you we were talking about relationships this morning!
When Israel entered the land of Canaan, they were warned by God specifically not to get caught up in worshiping their false gods. That included Chemosh. He was the national god of the Moabites. The Moabites were even called “the people of Chemosh.” Chemosh was worshiped chiefly by child sacrifice, especially the offering of a first-born son.
Molech (or Milcom or Malcam) was basically the same, but was the national god of the Ammonites. Molech was worshiped by offering children as burnt sacrifices. A huge metal image of him would be heated by a fire inside, and the children would be thrown to him to burn.
And there’s Ashteroth -- goddess of the Philistines and Sidonians. She was worshiped by ritual immorality. Men and women paid temple prostitutes for their immoral acts. Ashteroth would then supposedly bless the crops and grant fertility to the women, who could then keep their children or sacrifice them as they chose. By the way, alcohol consumption was also part of the worship ceremonies.
Pretty bad stuff. Pretty far away from what God had called His people to do. Even farther away from what King Solomon should have done. But look what we read about his later years as king:
1 Kings 11:5-7
He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done. On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molech the detestable god of the Ammonites.
Solomon, who built the magnificent temple for God, later built places for worshiping false gods. Only, it wasn’t just a building project. It wasn’t just to have something to do.
1 Kings 11:9-10
The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although the first command was to have no other gods before God Almighty, Solomon didn’t keep the Lord's command.
Even the wisest man in history can choose to be a fool.
What happened to Solomon? When an airplane crashes, the search for the flight recorder is a vital part of understanding what went wrong. They call it “the black box.” Once it’s located and studied, it helps reveal if there was a mechanical failure, a human error, or some external condition that contributed to the crash.
When we open up and study the black box of Solomon’s crash near the end of his career, it’s stated very plainly: Solomon stumbled because of relationships, specifically with his wives.
It makes me ask: if relationships can take a man of such stature, such status, such wisdom and accomplishment as King Solomon and lead him in a direction so completely opposite of God, what might relationships do to me – for good or for bad?
That deserves our attention. So, let’s talk about our relationships with other people this morning – especially the people closest to us.
I. Our Relationships Will Make an Impact
I always counsel couples getting ready for marriage that marriage isn’t a reform school.
The groom and his attendants are all lined up at the front. Here comes the bride, “I’m coming to you, Darling!” and she walks down the aisle, and up front to a place that a lot of people wrongly refer to as “the altar,” and last of all, she gets to YOU. And that’s the order that a lot of them follow from then on:
I’ll - Alter - You!
You can’t expect your spouse-to-be to suddenly stop talking with food in his mouth or laughing like she does once you’re married. But somehow, at the same time, you have to recognize that you are going to be influenced by the person you choose to marry.
1 Kings 21:25-26 - (There was never a man like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife. He behaved in the vilest manner by going after idols, like the Amorites the LORD drove out before Israel.)
Then, Jehoram carried on the Ahab legacy…
2 Chronicles 21:6 - [Jehoram] walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done, for he married a daughter of Ahab. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD.
Solomon had a great reign for at least the first 20 years he was king. It was a prosperous and peaceful time. Why things went south is in I Kings 11. That’s the black box. It all had to do with relationships – especially marriage.
1 Kings 11:1-4 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh's daughter--Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
So what shall we do? We could say, “So don’t marry 700 wives and 300 concubines!” because of v.3. But, wait, maybe it was the concubines – they weren’t really wives. Make sure you don’t have 300 concubines. No, wait, maybe it’s because they were foreign women (v1) Yeah, don’t marry foreigners. Period. Those foreign women are always trouble. Oooops! I’m in trouble. Although she’s got the German and Irish blood in her, my wife has a bit of native American that I don’t have. I guess we have a mixed marriage! No, it’s deeper than that. The problem is what these women led Solomon to do. So, we might conclude from this text: Don’t marry any women who are going to lead you to worship Molech, Ashteroth, or Chemosh. We could stop there. Of course, when’s the last time you were invited to someone’s Molech festival? And what if it’s too late – you’ve already married. Or maybe you already were. Or what if you’re not headed there, or never will be? What can you learn from King Solomon’s wandering off from God?
When we’re talking about marriage, we’re talking about our closest companion – about relationships. And when it comes to relationships, our relationships will make an impact on the way we relate to God.
Paul was trying to get people in the church to understand that it no longer mattered if a person had been a Jew or a Gentile. God was inviting everyone to be part of His Church. A lot of people struggled to get over their prejudices, including Peter. And it had an impact on the people around him. Paul said,
Galatians 2:11-13 When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group.
Peter was impacted by these people who had been Jewish, like him. He was afraid of their criticism, afraid of what they might tell others. But it went even further…
The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray.
It’s called peer pressure. That’s the way that the people around us influence the way we think or act. It’s not just for teenagers or just for adults. It’s something everyone faces. You know – it’s hard to soar like an eagle when you work with turkeys. You will be impacted by your closest companions.
II. Give Relationships Attention Because Your Companions Will Shape You
Paul was writing to the church in Corinth – to Christians who were living in the epicenter of immorality of their day. They knew all about peer pressure. All around the people of the church were surrounded by rough people:
1 Corinthians 5:9-10 I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people--not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.
That wasn’t really an option. All of us are going to find ourselves associating with immoral people. In fact, how will we ever lead people to Jesus if we’re not somehow at least associating with them? So what did Paul tell them?
1 Corinthians 15:33-34 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God--I say this to your shame.
There’s a difference between associating with someone and being their best friend. There’s a difference between making someone your acquaintance and making them your companion.
Someone put it this way: Write down the names of your 2 best friends, 1 & 2. Now, you’re going to spend eternity with those 2 people. Where is it going to be?
That’s pretty pointed. Maybe it’s too presumptuous, but it ought to make you think. It also ought to make you concerned for your closest companions. That influence can be for good or bad, but it must get your attention, because it’s going to shape you.
Solomon was shaped badly by his wives, but the Bible has words about the value of good companions too. Husbands, we’re pretty smart husbands when we’re quick to recognize and credit our wives with our successes. Our other relationships can help us too.
Philippians 2:22 But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
These are words about companionship and about the way it can shape you for good. Whether it’s for good or bad, be assured, your relationships with others will shape you.
III. Give Relationships Attention Because You Should Shape the People Around You
Relationships don’t work in just one direction. While you need to be paying attention to how relationships are impacting you, you also need to consider how you’re impacting the people around you.
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Romans 14:19 - Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (HCSB - …pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.)
Matthew 5:16 - In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
God is watching for us to be the movers and shakers in our relationships.
I’m convinced that we ought to be the ones who are doing the influencing around us. I like one church’s mission statement which includes that they exist “…to be the conscience of our community.” In other words, they’re determined to be the ones doing the shaping when it comes to way they relate to the people around them. We ought to be the people who are the shapers of people at our jobs, at our schools, in our neighborhoods. For too long we’ve allowed a vocal minority to shape too many things. It’s time that we give some attention to the impact we have on peoples’ lives and make it better.
Conclusion:
I want to conclude this morning by just giving some specific applications for us to take with us and work on. Reread I Kings 11 and the way that Solomon so badly turned from God and learn from it. Here are some things you may need to work on:
1. Don’t marry 700 wives! If you have one, stop! That’s enough. Work with the one you have.
2. There are some relationships you need to stop.
I grew up with a youth group that ultimately came apart. Every member but 2 of our youth group ended up leaving the Church because they became involved in a dating relationship with someone who didn’t share their faith in Jesus. It drug them down.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship that’s leading you in the wrong direction, you need to stop it – either by making it less of a relationship or cutting it off completely...and you need to do that NOW.
3. There are some relationships where you need to influence.
Right now, in the circle of people you’re around, you have an opportunity to impact them. Who are they, and are you impacting them or letting them wander? There may be some relationships right now where you’re the only hope a person has for ever finding Jesus. You will do it, won’t you?
4. Enter into dating with attention to this
Whether you’re a teenager, young adult, or senior citizen, this may apply to you. Paul makes it so clear in II Co. 6 that the person we choose for marriage is to be a Christ follower. He talks about coming out from worldly relationships and being separate from them. How do we be separate from them and date them? Dating isn’t just recreational, it’s relational, and it’s going to impact your relationship with God.
5. Enter into friendship with attention to this
Does God care about who your closest companions are? Absolutely. Your closest friends need to be people who aren’t going to drag you backwards in your walk with God, but who are going to push you ahead.
6. Take a close look at your friends and see what kind of an influence you’re being
If we were to take your friends and interview them up here today, what would we learn about you and the influence you’re having in their lives? Would they know you’re a Christ-follower? Would they tell us how you’ve helped them to grow, to make better choices? How are you influencing the people in “your circle of influence”?
Invitation:
Jesus said to let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. That’s not about showing off. It’s about living your life in a way that helps people get ready for heaven.
That’s what we want to do here this morning.
