Lesson 11 of the Follow Me Series
Followers: Some Staying; Some Leaving
Grady (Doc) Henley
February 2005
Key Verses:
1 Tim 3:14 These things write I unto thee, hoping to come unto thee shortly:
1 Tim 3:15 But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.
INTRODUCTION:
It is Sunday morning. You pull into the church parking lot, looking for a place to park, hoping that whoever parks beside you does not scratch your car with their car door. You survey the familiar sights and see that Bro. and Sis. Haven’t-Got-A-Clue are here along with their two sons, Nabal and Diotrephes, of whom you wonder which one will be the first to do jail time.
Over there in the same corner where they have parked, ere these many years, is Sis. Know-It-All and Bro. I-Told-You-So, two self-righteous pillars within the local assembly. As you watch them strut across the parking lot, you honestly believe you are seeing those scriptures in Matthew come to life where the Lord said Mat 23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. Mat 23:28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
Seeing two vehicles you do not recognize, you think: “Ahhhh! Looks like we might have a couple of visiting families! That is good. We need some new blood around here.”
Gathering your family you proceed to enter the building and you note that the preacher’s wife has a new dress. “Hmmmm! That color on her does not go with her hair!” You consider saying how nice she looks, but you don’t want to lie. After all, some things are better left unsaid.
You take your children to their Sunday school classes and command them to get a drink of water and go to the restroom, BEFORE church starts, and if they embarrass you, they will live to regret it!
The general congregation has begun to assemble. Friends are chatting. Teens are trying to out talk the other. Evidently, their minds are racing faster than their tongues, for instead of speaking in semi-proper English, all you hear as you make your way to your favorite seat and find that the visitors are in YOUR PEW, are the words in the background of the future leaders of the church saying: “And then she goes, she goes, she goes!” and you are wondering where she went and what they are teaching in school these days!
Finding a less than favorable pew, you somehow feel out of place because you are not in your usual seat. Looking over at the visitors you give them your best ‘instamatic Polaroid smile’ and you are just about to go and welcome then when your best friend comes up to you and whispers in your ear, “Pssst! I need to tell you something! Come here!”
The first thoughts in your mind are: “Now what is it that I said and to whom or if my child was involved I will beat them within an inch of eternity!”
Pulling you to one side your best friend begins to fill you in on the latest happenings and the conversation goes something like this:
“Did you hear that the ___________ have left the church?”
“No! What happened?"
“I am not sure. I was told by someone in the know that…”
Has this ever happened to you? If you have been in church any time at all, you will say yes. You come to church, thinking that all things will be as they were, and lo and behold, you find that one of the steadfast and dependable church families have left.
What happened? Did someone offend them? Was church discipline about to be ministered? Did they move? Where they mad? A hundred questions race through your mind and you do not know whom to ask without sounding like a busy body to find satisfactory answers to the questions flooding your mind. Those who know are not talking.
When a situation as described above happens, how many times do we think the worst about that family? When someone leaves, those remaining behind, experience loss and often hurt. The same can be said for the departing family.
As you sit there waiting for the services to start, you search the deep recesses of you mind, trying to recall as many church services as possible to determine if something was said or done that would cause them or other families to leave. The church is growing. Souls are being saved and baptized, offerings are up, and now this!
To say that you are somewhat perplexed and disturbed begs the question. Will their leaving cause others to do the same? Will their leaving be seen as schism in the body? Why did they leave?
Are there biblical reasons for a family leaving a church body for another? What does the bible say about this? Is it recorded in scripture of one leaving one church for another? Yes, there is.
By looking into what other experienced, and allowing the Lord to lead our thought process
thorough His word, it is possible to learn how to deal with departures in our life and the local church. Contrary to popular thinking, it is not always bad when someone leaves your local church. It is not always good when someone joins your church.
However, before we jump to a less than truthful conclusion, let us see what the bible says. Let us examine a thing from both sides and allow God to lead our thinking so that the decision we make is one of sound mind.
I. DEPARTURES
There are many situations recorded in the bible relating to folks leaving. In the book of Genesis there are examples of people parting on less than friendly terms and of some remaining close for years. For the sake of time, we will examine two.
The first is that of Abram and Lot. God told Abram to get out of his home country, Gen. 12:1, get away from thy kindred, and from your dad’s as well. I have a special place for you. Get moving! Nothing was said about nephew Lot tagging along; though he did.
The second study is that of Jacob. Jacob left hurriedly after his deceptive actions against his brother Esau. Fleeing back to the old home country, he worked 20 years for his father-in-law. Finally, God spoke to Jacob and told him it was time to go back to the Promised Land. Jacob packed up the family and their possessions and left without saying goodbye.
A. You Go The Left, I Will Go To The Right, Gen. 13:9.
Though Abram was obedient, in that he left the land of the Chaldees, he was hesitant to tell Lot to go make a life of his own. Lot was the kind of person that liked being around others. Once he latched on to Abram, he refused to let go. Because Abram was slow in disassociating himself with his nephew, the Lord did if for him. The Lord accomplished His will by causing conflicts within the lives of this clan. This is just one of the ways God might use to separate people so that they move to the place of blessing.
1. You are causing me problems.
The problem was not that God disliked Lot. God had a plan for Lot and it was not remaining with Abram. God wanted Abram in one location and Lot in the other.
Since they left their home country, Lot has tagged along with Abram. After wandering from one place to the other for a few years, Abram and Lot begin to have some conflicts. Though they wandered hither and yon, God continually blessed them with what we might call half a blessing.
It was because of this less than a full cup, (Psa 16:5 The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot.) that conflict arose. The conflict was centered on their possessions. They had more livestock than they had rangeland.
I call this a half blessing because if it had been a full blessing their cups would have ran over, Psa 23:5. It was no more trouble for the Lord to bless the land so that it produced enough grass than it was for Him to bless these men with more livestock. Nothing is too hard for the Lord. Gen 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD?…
David said that the Lord maintained his lot. One thing is certain and that is when the Lord maintains your lot, your cup runneth over. Michael Combs sang a song titled, “Drinking From My Saucer Cause My Cup Overflowed.” The cup running over does so when we are in the place of blessing. The patience part for the Lord was in getting Abram to the place where God could give him a full cup blessing. Thus, when the livestock begin to want and the herdsmen begin to experience conflict, Abram realized that Lot was causing him a lot of problems.
2. If you do not take care of this problem, I will.
By giving them more cows than they had pasture these two men realized that the verbal conflict between their herdsmen was about to erupt into physical torment. Once it affected the herdsmen, it would not be long before it affected the herd and it would not be many days before the domino principle took a life of its own. Once that happened, only God knew where it would stop. The best thing to do was part company.
With this conflict, God told Abram something to the effect: “Since you left your home, you have allowed Lot to stay with you. I want you in one place and Lot in the other. As you have been reluctant to unload yourself of him, I will do it for you.”
It took conflict before Abram said to Lot, Separate thyself, I pray thee, from me, Gen. 13:9.
3. The rest of the story.
You know the rest of the story. Lot went to plain of Jordan and Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan. They separated on friendly terms. We know this for when Lot was captured, Gen. 14, Uncle Abram came to his rescue. Furthermore, Abraham intervened on Lot’s behalf before the destruction of Sodom, Gen. 18.
B. Stole Away Unaware, Gen. 31.
Genesis 30:25-43 sets the tone for the next six years in Jacob’s life and for his sudden departure. Jacob should have taken his wives and children and left. However, he agreed to stay and work for his hire, Gen 30:32 I will pass through all thy flock to day, removing from thence all the speckled and spotted cattle, and all the brown cattle among the sheep, and the spotted and speckled among the goats: and of such shall be my hire. 30:33 So shall my righteousness answer for me in time to come, when it shall come for my hire before thy face: every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats, and brown among the sheep, that shall be counted stolen with me.
Fast-forward six years and now he has an abundance of livestock. So much so, that his in-laws are beginning to wonder why he seems to have more than they, when he started out with nothing. (That real life situation for Jacob was the very plot for hundreds of western movies and books.)
Jacob, it is past time to leave. He overstayed his welcome, Prov 25:17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.
Gen. 31 records the sudden departure of Jacob from the household of Laban. If you have read this story, you know that son-in-law and father-in-law were continually trying to get one up on the other. How they managed to endure each other for twenty years was a test of endurance for the both of them.
Recalling the story of Jacob, we know that he left home on less than friendly terms with his dad and brother. This seems to be the norm for Jacob. After working for fourteen years for Rachel, and then remaining for six more years, the tension between Jacob and Laban became such that Jacob thought it best to steal away.
Picking an opportune time when Laban was away from home, Jacob packed up his entourage and sped away from his in-laws. Though he and Jacob did not get along, the sudden departure hurt Laban. The leaving hurt his pocketbook more than it broke his heart. Jacob and those boys (Reuben would be about 20 years of age) were cheap labor that must now be replaced.
Furthermore, the Lord blessed Laban via Jacob. Gen 30:27 And Laban said unto him, I pray thee, if I have found favour in thine eyes, tarry: for I have learned by experience that the LORD hath blessed me for thy sake.
Upon learning that Jacob had stole away unaware, Laban gathered his sons and pursued. Riding hard for about six days Laban arrived at Jacob’s camp and is somewhat contained in how he handled the situation.
Laban the Syrian, Gen. 31:20, is a type of the Anti-Christ. He therefore, made a big show of peace, love, sense of loss, etc. for his daughters and grandchildren, v. 27, 28, 43, regarding their departure like a thief in the night. In reality, Laban was only interested in what would benefit him. Had it not been for the Lord warning Laban to be careful in how he dealt with Jacob, v. 24, there would have been bloodshed.
C. Let Us Make A Covenant, Gen. 31:44.
When you realized that you will not get along with someone, (hopefully it will not take you twenty years as it did Jacob) it is biblical to part on less than friendly terms. The example set forth by Jacob and Laban and the covenant they made, a peace treaty, is an example of how to handle such a situation.
1. This mound of stones.
Fearing God and not wanting to make more trouble than he already had, Laban suggested that they make a covenant, but did not act upon his own suggestion. Jacob was the one that acted and placed the first stone. He and his brothers-in-law erected a heap of stones that would be a continual witness of their agreement. Simply stated, this was a non-aggression pact that neither Laban nor Jacob would pass by that mound of stones with anger or malice within their hearts for the other, v. 52.
Jacob called the place Galeed and Mispah. Laban called it Je-gar-sahadu’tha. Both names seem to mean "The heap of witness." This covenant was a peace covenant between Jacob and Laban. Laban agreed to the covenant. The place has two names in Hebrew: Galeed = heap of witness and Mizpah = watchtower.
2. A fragile truce.
Though these two men have a peace treaty, Jacob still does not trust Laban and wants God to establish a wall of protection between the two. God will use the wall as a watchtower. Laban wants Jacob's God to watch and insure that his daughters are not mistreated, and that Jacob takes no more wives. Should Jacob break his part of the covenant, his actions would invalidate the covenant.
D. Common Denominators.
Observe that the separation of Abram from Lot, and Jacob from Laban, have a common denominator: conflict. With Abram and Lot the conflict was over grazing and water rights. With Jacob and Laban, it was jealousy over livestock. One was settled peacefully and one was settled with a peace pact.
That mound of stones erected by Jacob and Laban stood as a witness that even though they could not get along, they would honor their vows and not pass by that mound with malice in their heart for the other.
Should there come such a situation in your life, it is OK to part on less than friendly terms. Just erected a marker, be it physical or spiritual, and do not pass by it with malice, anger, ill-will, etc in your heart for the place or person you are leaving.
II. THE WORK WERE UNTO I HAVE CALLED, Acts 13:2.
Seems I hear someone say, “Just because there were separations and departures in the Old Testament is not a sure sign that folks ought to leave one Baptist church for another. God commands us to be steadfast in our labor!”
“Amen!”
God surely wants the members of the local church to be steadfast, unmovable, and always abounding. If that command was not obeyed, there would be no local church bodies that have maintained their history for hundreds of years.”
That being said, there are two questions that must be answered before a truthful answer is reached:
(1) Where are we to be steadfast?
(2) Where are we to be always abounding?
The answer is found in 1 Cor 15:58, where we read: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. The work of the Lord is where we are to abound. Contrary to popular belief, this field of labor is not of our choosing. Also, bear in mind it is not OUR ministry, though that is how we often refer to it. The ministry belongs to the Lord. We therein labor.
The keys to understanding why someone leaves are:
(1) The families or the individuals know where God wants them to labor.
(2) Someone realized they could not be steadfast while laboring in the wrong field.
(3) Someone was not abounding in the work.
(4) Those wanting to labor are permitted to do so.
The big obstacle many folks endure in understanding why someone leaves one local body for another is because we think everyone ought to be unmoveable. When someone leaves, the first thoughts and words out of the mouths of some of the steadfast-in-the-rut-why-should-I-leave-this-work, Neh 6:3, and-come-down-to-you-members are:
· They were mad.
· They did not fit in.
· They did not like the preacher, song leader, etc.
· They were too snooty for us.
· They were unhappy here. They will be unhappy there.
· If I told you the real reason they left….
Folks, the facts of the matter are God moves people from one field of labor to the other according to His perfect will for their lives. Some are moved to move; others are moved to remain.
A. Send Them Away.
Acts 13:1 Now there were in the church that was at Antioch certain prophets and teachers; as Barnabas, and Simeon that was called Niger, and Lucius of Cyrene, and Manaen, which had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. A casual reading of Acts 13:1 does not reveal the abundance of talent housed within that body.
This church had more willing workers and more talent than was needed. Not only were there those listed by name, there were others that were just as steadfast and faithful, but not as well known. This particular church had a good problem and it was they had more workers than they had fields of opportunity in the immediate area.
1. The Holy Ghost said.
The workers in the local body were praying for God to use them. Acts 13:2 As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them. These members were not complaining and grumbling because they were bored and did not know what to do. They knew what to do and were pleased with past results. They did their job so well around the city of Antioch, until they had just about worked themselves out of a job; so they thought. God thought differently.
Note that these were fasting and praying over their service. This was not a ‘spur of the moment’ decision. It came after fasting.
2. Separate Barnabas and Saul.
Thus, the Holy Ghost told the church body, probably through their prophet, “I see you have a mind to work. You have set your affections on things above. Your problems are you do not know where to work or whom to send! OK, here is what I want you to do: Set Barnabas and Saul aside for the work where unto I have called them.”
Here are a couple of things that is well worth learning about leaving:
a. Leave willingly as the Lord leads. Do not wait around until conflicts arise. That was the problems encountered by Abram and Jacob. They waited until conflicts arose before acting.
b. Do no leave unless you have prayed and fasted over your decision.
Jesus told the local church: Acts 1:8 But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. They received the Power, Acts 2. They preached the gospel faithfully in Jerusalem and received a partial blessing. The full cup blessing was to take the gospel message to the utter most parts of the earth. It took persecution to get the infant church out of the immediate surroundings of Jerusalem. Acts 12:1 Now about that time Herod the king stretched forth his hands to vex certain of the church. 12:2 And he killed James the brother of John with the sword.
Saul and Barnabas were being sent by a local church body to do a work for the Lord in the field of His choosing. This was the beginning of the great world wide missionary program that is carried on to this day by bible believing bible-teaching churches. These two men left willingly.
The local body remained behind and gave them faithful support.
Wherever Saul and Barnabas went, they would carry some things from the local body at Antioch with them. Rom 14:7 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. In this and other endeavors those local bodies would receive blessings for they had a part in this labor of love.
3. Big difference between missionaries and families leaving.
Seems now I hear someone say: “There is a big difference between a church sending out missionaries and a family leaving one local body for another. Things different are not the same.”
“Amen! There are differences.”
One of the points of this study is we need to all realize that every blood bought born again child of God is either a missionary or a mission field. You are either carrying the ‘good news,’ or your pastor spends a lot of extra time trying to get you to a position where the Lord can use you.
Did you realize that the words missionary, missionaries, or mission are not found in the bible. The words Christian(s) appears three times, Acts 11:26, 26:28, 1 Pet. 4:16. Perhaps that is why the words saints and saint are found in scripture about 99 times.
There is a word in the bible that is closely akin to missionary and that is the word(s) ambassador(s). Just what is an ambassador? An ambassador is one that is sent to a foreign country acts in the stead of the leader or king from the country whereof they were sent. Thus, each believer is an ambassador, for each saint of God is in a foreign country, the world, and we represent the God of creation and the Lord of salvation every day.
What kind of ambassador are you? Are you one that is steadfast and always abounding in the work or have you settled down in your church pew and your motto is: “I Shall Not Be Moved” by anyone or thing? If that is your motto, do you get upset when someone leaves? If so, why? Are you afraid that you might be asked to step in and fill a vacant slot?
Friend do you realize that when someone obeys God’s calling and leaves, whether as a missionary or by moving to another town, or simply just by moving unto another church, that you enter into their labors as well? John 4:38 I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours. Do you realize what this means for you? If you did, you might have a better attitude about someone moving at the Holy Spirit’s beaconing.
B. The Down Side.
For every positive there is a negative; rather a downside. Such is true when someone leaves one church for another. Regardless, every workable battery has a positive and negative pole. Both poles must be working properly; else the battery malfunctions. The problem is not that there is a negative and positive pole. Problems with the battery arise when one of the poles dominates or one fails to function. Too much of the negative or the positive will end in trouble, conflict, and a church split.
In such manner is how problems arise when someone leaves one local body for another. Too much of the negative causes gossip, ill will, hurt feelings, sense of rejection, faultfinding, placing blame, etc. one towards the other. James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. Generally when someone leaves, the people start talking. The strange thing about someone leaving is the way people think about their departure. Their way of thinking is: “It is OK if I leave, but it is not OK for another to leave unless they were causing trouble”.
Too much of the positive enhances a huggy, huggy, kissey, kissey, situation, which is nauseating to all involved, save those who generate such. The result is a flippant attitude towards the commission of the church. The gravity of the situation spirals downward into one whereby the blood of Jesus is trod underfoot and allows one to forget that the church is the bride of Christ and is to be treated as such.
1. Contention, Acts 15:39.
If you think that the Lord allows tension and contention so that one is motivated to move, you are right. God allowed Job to have some turmoil in his life. Why should our lot in life be much different than the great man Job? Then again, the Lord is not the author of confusion, 1 Cor 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. The truth is God allows those things in our lives so that He can manifest His faith in us to do the right thing, say the right thing, and conduct ourselves so that the Lord Jesus Christ receives the honor and glory. When we do, our faith in Him increases.
The most probable answer is there is something inherit to man’s nature whereby stability is diametrically opposed to contention. Saul found this out when the Holy Ghost began working with him. He was content to cause tumult to the local believers. He was a devout Jew that hated this new sect called believers. He would have spent the remainder of his life hating converts had it not been for that prick--that sharp jab, that caused him to move from being a staunch Pharisee to a bible believing missionary. Acts 9:5 And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
Facing one contention after the other is sometimes a part of living. Paul and Barnabas faced contentions in their midst. Their story is recorded in Acts 15:36-40. There is not a lot detail on this particular event.
What started out as a good idea took a downward twist. Acts 15:36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. Their division centered around who would and would not go on a particular journey. Note that they did not pray and fast over this journey as they did the first. Nothing was recorded about them inquiring of the Lord where to go or whom to take with them. The contention was so great that Paul and Barnabas parted company. The bible does not record whether they were reconciled one to the other.
There are a couple of things to learn here:
a. Avoid contention.
If someone is bound and determine to go, by all means, let them go. (Do not major in the minors. It is normal for the minors to try and make it to the majors. This is true in the sports world as well as the church world.) Prov 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. If we spend all our times worrying over why someone leaves, or trying to prevent them from leaving, the only thing we accomplish is misery in our lives, along with contention and strife in the church body.
Strife leads to hurt feelings or someone is offended. As was the case with Paul and Barnabas, they parted company. Therefore, avoid contentions. If a family believes God has moved them, let them go. If possible, send them away with the church’s blessing. Remember, they will take a part of the local assembly they leave with them, so consider what you want them to take? Ill will or blessing? Prov 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
b. Motivation.
What does it take to motivate you? Does the Holy Ghost move you to go to church, go on visitation, tithe, etc.? If it is not the Spirit moving you, is it your guilty conscience? Would the Lord be asking too much from us if we moved out of simple obedience to His word and will for our lives?
What would be so wrong with us simply obeying the Holy Spirit’s leading? If we do not allow the Holy Spirit to lead us through our willing spirit, then there is no doubt that contentions will come. Jacob stayed too long in Padanaram. Abraham was too slow in moving into the place of blessing. What will it take to motivate you to get in God’s will? If someone is moving into the will of the Lord for their lives, why do you want to hinder them?
2. They went out from us, Acts 15:24.
Regardless of why someone leaves, be it a doctrinal issue, personality conflicts, church discipline, or someone just simply did not have peace in their service, those that remain behind often say something to the effect, “They went out from us, for they were not of us.”
When someone makes such a statement, they need to be careful for what they are implying is dangerous. Whether they realize it or not they are insinuating (in sin U ate) some things that may not be true. If it is not the truth, as established and testified by two or more witnesses, then that one making those remarks is guilty of bearing false witness, Mat 18:16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 2 Cor 13:1 This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
Furthermore, it is just as wrong to spread gossip and sow discord among the brethren, as it is to lie. Prov 6:16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: Prov 6:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, Prov 6:18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, Prov 6:19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Just because someone leaves does not mean they are:
c. Lost.
d. Heretics
e. Trouble makers
f. Rebel rousers
g. False prophets
h. Out of fellowship
1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us. This passage in First John has to do with unbelievers. Those unbelievers left because they could not remain in the presence of bible believing folks preaching, teaching, and living New Testament church doctrine.
II. YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Whether you are the one leaving or the one remaining behind, you have a responsibility of which each will be held accountable in the day of judgment. Each of us must take heed to our actions, Deut 27:9 And Moses and the priests the Levites spake unto all Israel, saying, Take heed, and hearken, O Israel; this day thou art become the people of the LORD thy God. 27:10 Thou shalt therefore obey the voice of the LORD thy God, and do his commandments and his statutes, which I command thee this day. As blood bought born again children of God, we are people of the Lord in that we were begotten through the blood of His Son.
The local church body is supposed to be a visible representative of the Lord’s wife. It is therefore the responsibility of the local body to conduct itself so that the Lord receives the glory. The wife is to make the Husband look His best. Therefore, the wife must put forth her best, Gal 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Gal 5:15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. Though (y)our feelings may be hurt because someone leaves, we are commanded to love them. By this shall all men know they ye are my disciples…John 13:35.
A. If You Remain, Your Responsibility Is.
If you believe in your heart and have peace in your life that God expects you to remain faithful in the local assembly where He placed you, 1 Cor 12:18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. then by all means remain and be faithful. 1 Cor 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.
1. Take heed to the ministry.
Find out what needs to be done and get at it. You are only here for a short while. Even in the short time, (Job 7:6 My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle, and are spent without hope.) your health may not allow you to be up and about the Father’s business in the future as you were in the past. Consequently, it is most important that we find out what it is that the Lord wants us to do and get busy doing it.
Paul told Archippus, Col 4:17 And say to Archippus, Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it. Do not be mistaken in your thinking and acting by saying you do not have a ministry. You do. Your problem might be that you do not know what your ministry is. If this is correct, your lack of knowledge is to your shame.
If we want that full cup blessing, if we want a full reward for service, then we need to be in the place to receive it and be doing all that we can for the Lord. “Take heed!” What we do and say has eternal reverbs.
It is very easy to leave Archippus’ name out of the text and insert yours or mine. The command is the same: “Grady Henley! See to it that you do your part in the ministry given unto you by the Lord. He expects a return on His investment. Be faithful to do you part. God will be faithful to do His.”
Friend, is your gift that of teaching? If so, it would be to your advantage to commence teaching? If your gift is hospitality, then get hospitable. Welcome that visitor and then go the extra mile and invite them out for lunch. Start using your spiritual gift in the local assembly where God placed you and make a full report. Luke 16:2 And he called him, and said unto him, How is it that I hear this of thee? give an account of thy stewardship;…
2. Do not be a blocker.
Do not be a blocker. The pastor of your local assembly cannot do all the work that needs to be done. Help him! Do not be a hindrance.
Within any local church body, there are many blockers. The pastor exhorts folks to tithe so that the local work can progress. He preaches on supporting missions so that the local body may have a part in the Great Commission. When he does, the blockers retort with, “He is only interested in money.”
If the pastor teaches on making visiting folks feel welcome at church, how many times do we move out of our comfort zones to extend a warm welcome. A simple command to remember and obey is: “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”
There are other ways to block the forward progress such as hanging around with the mix-multitude and begin lusting, murmuring, and complaining, Num 11:4, and gossiping about why a family left. If a family leaves, their leaving means we have to get out there and find replacements. It might mean that we will have to do some menial tasks until the positions can be filled full time.
Should the Lord lead a family to another work, their leaving creates a vacancy. Their leaving means less income, less folks to do the work, or a work may cease because of a lack of workers. Instead of sitting around wondering why someone left, why not get into the work and ask the pastor if he has something for you to do?
If the scribes and Pharisees had pitched in and helped Jesus, He would not have placed a woe on them for standing in the way of the gospel, Mat 23:13 But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.
3. Some do’s and don’ts.
· Do not be influenced by unhappy folks leaving the church.
· Do not listen to the murmurings of the discontent.
· Do not gossip about church problems to first time visitors.
· Do not undermine the pastor, 2 Sam 15:2-3.
· Do your part to promote the workings of your local body.
· Do your part and make visitors welcome. If they are from another church, do not ask why they left. That is the pastor’s responsibility.
· Do remember that we are accountable for our actions and speech. We either receive or loose a reward.
· Do give that new member into your local body the opportunity fit into the assembly. Do not ostracized them. Should they cause trouble, allow them to be the instigators. Do not give fuel for their fire.
· You did fast and pray over you decision?
B. If You Leave, Your Responsibility Is.
Once you have peace in your heart that leaving is the right thing to do, then leave. Do not hang around and wear out your welcome. Do not make threats that you are going to leave and then linger.
There is a story in Judges 19 where a certain Levite tarried in his departure for home. He rose up early to leave and then his host enticed him to hang around and drink. This went on for four to five days. Finally, when he did leave, he left late in the day and had to stay overnight in a strange town. For details of the ordeal this Levite caused due to his lingering, read the rests of the story in the book of Judges, chs. 19-21.
1. Take heed in what you take with you.
Again, if God is moving you to leave, then leave. Do Not Linger! Take care of any unfinished business with as much Christian love and compassion as possible and be on your way.
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. Fifty five times through the bible this command, take heed, appears giving advance warning! It carries greater weight than the words ‘be careful!’ Take heed means that there are consequences to pay for failing to take heed.
For that reason, if you are leaving a local body, take heed! If your reason for leaving is because someone trespassed against you, then until you have confronted the offender, Mat 18:15-20, you really have no biblical reason to leave. There are scriptural ways to handle these issues without leaving. Leaving mad is almost the last resort. Learn to resolve the issues.
In our opening illustrations, Rachel took her father’s gods, Gen 31:30-35. In his ignorance of the deed, Jacob placed a death sentence on her head by telling Laban he could kill whoever had
them should he find them. Abraham took Lot with him, Gen 12:4.
What are you taking with you from the local church from which you are departing? The things that you ought to take are:
· The fruit of the spirit, Gal 5:22.
· Christian virtues.
· A love for lost souls.
· A mind to work, Neh 4:6.
· Take good memories of the labor of love.
2. Your heart is set on leaving?
Take heed in what you take with you from the local church that you are leaving. If you have animosity, ill will, anger, strife, or malice against one in the congregation, leave it at the altar of mercy and grace. Do not take it with you. The next church you attend will not need your hostilities.
Do not think that once you are in a new church that you will be a new person. Unless you repent, you will be the same in the next church. The only change you will make is you will just be in the gall of bitterness, Acts 8:23, in a new location. God made a new man out of you once and that was enough. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit is supposed to be producing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. He will, if we will let Him.
3. Take heed in what you leave
Take heed in what you leave. Onesimus is a name that appears twice in scripture, Col 4:9, Phile 1:10. He was the slave of Philemon, Philemon 1. Onesimus decided to run away from his master and followed through on his plans. At the time he left, it seemed like a good idea. After lo, those many years of being a slave, he would now be free! Though we do not know how long he was a run away slave deceived into thinking he was free, we do know that he came to know the Lord as his Saviour.
What makes his story interesting is his departure was much like that of Jacob’s when he left Laban. Onesimus stole away; so did Jacob. Paul alludes to the allegations that Onesimus stole something from Philemon; Rachel stole the gods from her father.
Consider the man Onesimus and what he left behind at the home of Philemon:
Ø His leaving left a vacancy in that work would not be done and others would have to do extra labor.
Ø He left his reputation at Philemon’s house as being a thief.
Ø This reputation extended well past the walls of Philemon home. Other slaves heard of his deeds.
Ø He left the home of a Christian and entered the world of the lost.
4. Some do’s and don’ts.
If you leave mad:
Ø First and foremost, do not leave mad.
Ø Do not visit the members in person or on call them on the phone voicing your complaints against the pastor, song leader, deacons, etc. Lev 19:16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people:…
Ø Do not try to win others to your side or opinion, Mat 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. See also 18:10.
Ø Do not try and form a support group to appease your wounded pride, ego, etc. Prov 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
Ø Do not vent your venom to the next assembly you visit. Prov 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
Ø Do not forget that the church is the bride of Christ. The Man Jesus Christ, 1 Tim 2:5, will not allow you to speak evil of His wife. Take Heed! His church was purchased with His blood.
If you must leave, then:
Ø Do leave quietly.
Ø Do leave quickly.
Ø Unless there were out right lies, violence, or doctrinal issues, do your best to speak highly of the local assembly you left.
Ø Do get busy into the workings of the Lord as soon as possible in the church where unto the Lord sends you.
Ø You did pray and fast before you acted?
SUMMARY:
As long as there are churches, someone will always be leaving for one reason or the others. Scripture records that departures are not always bad and that even when they are, folks that disagree do not have to be disagreeable. Scriptures teach it is OK to erect monuments and allow them to act as reminders not to pass by it with malice or evil in our hearts for others.
If you are the one leaving, what will you do? Will you leave quietly so that your exit is not the culmination of that particular local church? Will you be able to speak highly of the work you left?
Should someone leave your local church and then come back in a year or two, would you greet them warmly or would you extend the cold shoulder of Baptist fellowship? Philemon welcomed back his run away slave? If he can, so can you.
Should you meet someone that left your local church today on the streets, could you speak, shake their hand, or give them a hug? I can relate two personal experiences where I was given the cold shoulder of Christian hostility:
Ø I went to speak to someone from a local church body wherein we at times past had both been members of the same church. Rather than speak to me, this person hid behind a door and enticed another to lie and tell me they were not in the room. I saw them hiding behind the door!
Ø Another cold shoulder of Christian hostility was given to me from a dear, kind, sweet, gentle hearted soul. This dear person left a Christian fellowship list once they realized I knew we were on the list together. The strange thing was I knew we were on the same list for two years.
There was no desire to leave until I acknowledged their existence via e-mail.
I visited both churches where these two faithful folks attend. One walked off when I came in, and with the other, I was the last person they greeted before they left for lunch. As the Lord would have it, we went to the same restaurant. I spoke with a hearty greeting and in return I received a ‘holy grunt!’
Art Linkletter hosted a TV show back in the golden age of TV called: “People Are Funny!” It was well named. People are funny. Weird it is that God gave some of us more grace than He did others.
If you cannot speak to that one here, do you believe you will be able to greet them with a holy kiss on the golden street of that eternal city one day? Have you practiced greeting the brothers of your local church body with a holy kiss? Four times we are told to do so, Rom 16:16 , 1 Cor 16:20 , 2 Cor 13:12 1 Th 5:26.
As followers of the Lord, we will always have folks leaving, following, and remaining. Rom 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. As much as possible, let us labor together so that the work of the Lord is not hindered. Let us not act, as does the world. The New Testament church is supposed to be a place of refuge and peace. It will be if we all do our part. If I am where God wants me, and if you are were God wants you, peace and joy will reign in our lives.
Psa 133:1 A Song of degrees of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! Psa 133:2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
