A. The story is told of a man who stood watching an old farmer plowing with his mule.
1. After a while, the stranger said to the farmer, “I don’t like to tell you how to do your job, but you could save yourself a lot of work by saying, ‘Gee’ and ‘Haw’ to that mule instead of just tugging on those reigns.”
2. The old farmer pulled a big handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his face.
3. Then he said, “Reckon you’re right, but this mule kicked me five years ago and I haven’t spoken to him since.”
4. The moral of this story is: Withholding forgiveness often hurts us more than it hurts the one we refuse to forgive.
B. Did you know that yesterday was National Forgiveness Day?
1. Yesterday, October 29th was the 6th Annual National Forgiveness Day.
2. You say, “What is National Forgiveness Day”? Well, it is a celebration of unconditional love where people are encouraged to take time to repair, restore, rebuild and revive damaged relationships using the process of unconditional love and forgiveness.
3. Annually, it is the last Saturday in October.
C. I was also interested this week to discover something called The Forgiveness Project.
1. The Forgiveness Project is a UK-based charitable organization which explores forgiveness, reconciliation and conflict resolution through real-life human experience.
2. The Forgiveness Project’s highly acclaimed exhibition called The F Word, shows all too clearly that forgiveness means many different things to different people. It is deeply personal, often private and far from the soft option many take it to be.
3. The stories on The Forgiveness Project’s website show that often forgiveness is difficult, costly, painful – but potentially transformative.
4. The website says: Above all, forgiveness must be a choice because to expect someone to forgive can victimize them all over again. Forgiveness is also a journey and not a destination: in other words it is rarely a one-time, fixed event or a single magnanimous gesture in response to an isolated offence. It is part of a continuum of human engagements in healing broken relationships.
5. Many of those whose voices are celebrated in the exhibition and on the website, also share their stories in person. They work in prisons, schools, faith communities, and with any group who wants to explore the nature of forgiveness whether in the wider political context or within their own lives.
6. The Forgiveness Project has no religious or political affiliations.
D. I find it very interesting that even those who may not be religious understand the importance of forgiveness and of having a forgiving heart.
1. One of the greatest attributes of Jesus is His forgiving heart.
2. Jesus often pointed out that He had not come to condemn, but to redeem.
3. This is remarkable because Jesus, being the only perfect and holy person who ever lived, is the only person who has the right to condemn.
4. All of us have failed in so many ways, and we have done wrong countless times. Yet as imperfect as we are, when we come to Jesus, we know we will not be despised but accepted, not spurned, but loved.
E. This is the heart of Jesus we see in the Gospels.
1. We saw it at its best on the cross when He prayed for His enemies, “Father, forgive them!”
2. Is that how we usually treat those who have offended us or hurt us?
3. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to cultivate a heart of forgiveness like Jesus’ forgiving heart? –
4. This is certainly the kind of heart that the Lord wants us to cultivate.
5. Let’s read again Colossians 3:13, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
6. In Peterson’ paraphrase The Message, he renders it this way: “Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.”
F. God’s will for us is clear: Bear with each other and forgive each other.
1. To bear with someone means to be patient with them; to be longsuffering with them; basically to attempt to put up with them; to endure them.
2. To forgive each other is pretty straightforward. And when we qualify it with “as the Lord forgave you,” then we really have a challenge!
G. There is no question about the fact that we are going to be in situations where we will need to bear with people and forgive people.
1. Those times will surely come, if they haven’t already.
2. The big question is: What will we do when those times come?
3. When we find ourselves in conflict with people, or when they have hurt us or are difficult to get along with, then we have three possible responses:
a. We can FLEE - we run as far as we can from the person – that may be necessary at times.
b. We can FIGHT – we can give it right back to them, fight fire with fire.
c. Or we can FORGIVE - leave it with God to judge and with God’s help refuse to hold on to bitterness or resentment in our hearts.
H. I want to suggest that forgiveness does two things for the person forgiving and for the person being forgiven.
1. First, Forgiveness Frees.
2. Second, Forgiveness Transforms.
3. Both individuals are freed and transformed through forgiveness.
I. When we think about Jesus’ forgiving heart, think about how difficult it must have been for Him to bear with and forgive His disciples.
1. Jesus had so many reasons to be disappointed in and unforgiving toward the 12.
2. For most part, they did not fully understand Him – the 12 had their doubts, denials and even betrayal.
3. I wonder if Jesus had, at some time during His ministry, regretted calling the 12.
4. Jesus said, They were “slow of heart to believe.” (Luke 24:25)
5. They argued about who is the greatest among them, they slept when they should have been praying and standing by Jesus.
6. And think about this: Jesus not only knew their past failures, private doubts and unspoken thoughts, He saw their future failures - He knew about Peter’s denial and Judas’ betrayal before they happened.
a. What if you knew today every bad thought he would have about you, every slander, or gossip about you, or every hurtful thing they would do to you?
7. Do you think it was hard for Jesus to love Peter, knowing Peter would someday deny Him?
8. Was it tough to love Thomas, knowing Thomas would even question His resurrection?
9. Did Jesus love them less knowing that they would all flee when He needed them most, in the Garden of Gethsemane?
10. Why did Jesus stick with the original 12 and not recruit a new batch?
a. Because Jesus had a forgiving heart.
b. When Jesus was in a relationship with people, He accepted them as they were, with all their imperfections and failures.
c. Certainly, Jesus was not going to leave them as they were, but He accepted them as they were.
J. Of all the times we see Jesus’ forgiving heart, none is so precious as when He kneels before His disciples and washes their feet.
1. The Bible says: 1 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
2 The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. (John 13:1-5)
2. Surely it had been a long day, and Jerusalem was packed with Passover pilgrims – many who clamored for a glimpse of the controversial rabbi named Jesus.
3. The disciples entered the upper room, one by one, and took their place around the table.
a. On the wall hung a towel and on the floor sat a pitcher of water and a basin.
b. Any one of the disciples could have volunteered for the job, but no one did.
4. After a few moments, Jesus stood, removed his outer garment, and wrapped a servant’s towel around his waist.
a. He took the basin and knelt before one of the disciples.
b. He unlaced the sandal and gently lifted the foot and placed it in the basin.
c. Then he poured water over the foot and washed it.
d. One grimy foot after another, Jesus worked his way down the row.
5. In Jesus’ day the washing of feet was a task reserved not just for servants, but for the lowest of servants.
a. Every circle had its pecking order, including the circle of household servants.
b. The servant at the bottom of the pecking order was expected to be the one on his knees with the towel and basin.
6. But in this case, the one with the towel and basin was the king of the universe.
a. The one before whom all nations will one day kneel, now knelt before His disciples.
b. Just hours before His own death, Jesus had only one thing on His mind – He wanted them to know how much He loved them.
c. Much more than removing dirt, Jesus was trying to remove all doubt.
7. Jesus knew the future of the feet He was washing.
a. These 24 feet would not spend the next day following their Master, defending His cause.
b. No, these feet would dash for cover at the flash of a Roman sword.
c. Only one pair of feet that He washed would stand with Jesus at Calvary.
8. You can read all the translations of the Bible, but you won’t find one that says that He washed all the disciples’ feet except the feet of Judas.
a. What an amazing moment it was when Jesus silently lifted the feet of His betrayer and washed them in the basin.
9. What an amazing gift it was that Jesus gave His followers that night.
a. Jesus knew what these men were about to do.
b. He knew that they were about to perform the most cowardly, vile acts of their lives.
c. By morning they would bury their heads in shame and look down at their feet with disgust.
d. And when they did, Jesus wanted them to remember how He knelt before them and washed their feet.
e. He wanted them to realize that their feet were still clean.
f. As He washed their feet, He said to them, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” (Jn. 13:7)
10. Isn’t this remarkable – He forgave their sin before they even committed it.
a. He offered mercy before they even sought it.
K. If you are like me, then you are likely thinking: “I could never do that. The hurt is so deep. The wounds are so numerous. Even when I think of them I cringe.”
1. That is precisely why we must shift our gaze.
2. We must turn our gaze away from the ones who have hurt us to the one who has saved us.
3. The secret of being just like Jesus is fixing our eyes on Him.
L. Let’s note the promise of 1 John 1:7: “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”
1. What Jesus did for His disciples, He has done for us.
2. He has cleansed us - not our feet from dirt, but our souls from sin.
3. Even more, Jesus is still cleansing us – If we are walking in the light then we are always being cleansed.
4. Our Savior kneels down and gazes upon the darkest acts of our lives, but rather than recoil in horror, He reaches out and says, “I can clean that if you want.”
a. And from the basin of His grace, He scoops a palm full of mercy and washes away our sin.
M. And that’s not all He does – Because He lives in us, you and I can do the same toward others.
1. Because He has forgiven us, we can forgive others.
2. Because He has a forgiving heart, we can have a forgiving heart.
3. We can have a heart like His.
4. Jesus said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (Jn. 13:14-15)
5. That’s what it means to have a heart like Jesus – to kneel as Jesus knelt, touching the grimy parts of the people who have wronged us, washing away the wrong.
N. This is all so opposite of the way we often think.
1. We want to maintain our position, saying: “He should be the one to say sorry; he is the one who needs to do something, not me. I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not the guilty party here.”
2. And perhaps you are not. You are innocent. But keep in mind - so was Jesus.
3. Of all the men in that room, only one was worthy of having his feet washed - Jesus.
4. Someone should have been washing His feet! Not the other way around.
5. But He was the one who washed the feet of all the “undeserving” ones.
6. The genius of Jesus’ example is that the burden of bridge-building falls on the strong one, not on the weak one.
a. The one who is innocent is the one who can make the first gesture.
7. And do you know what usually happens?
a. More often than not, if the one in the right volunteers to wash the feet of the one in the wrong, then both parties end up on their knees.
8. Please understand – Relationships don’t thrive because the guilty are punished, but because the innocent are merciful.
Let me end with two powerful stories of forgiveness…
O. On Monday morning, October 2, 2006, a gunman entered a one-room Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania.
1. In front of twenty-five horrified pupils, thirty-two-year-old Charles Roberts ordered the boys and the teacher to leave.
a. After tying the legs of the ten remaining girls, Roberts prepared to execute them with an automatic rifle and four hundred rounds of ammunition that he brought for the task.
b. The oldest hostage, a thirteen-year-old, begged Roberts to “shoot me first and let the little ones go.”
c. Refusing her offer, he opened fire on all of them, killing five and leaving the others critically wounded.
d. He then shot himself as police stormed the building.
e. What was his motive? “I’m angry at God for taking my little daughter,” he told the children before the massacre.
2. The story captured the attention of broadcast and print media in the United States and around the world.
a. By Tuesday morning some fifty television crews had clogged the small village of Nickel Mines, staying for five days until the killer and the killed were buried.
b. The blood was barely dry on the schoolhouse floor when Amish parents brought words of forgiveness to the family of the one who had slain their children.
c. The outside world was incredulous that such forgiveness could be offered so quickly for such a heinous crime.
d. Forgiveness, in fact, eclipsed the tragic story, trumping the violence and arresting the world’s attention.
3. Within a week of the murders, Amish forgiveness was a central theme in more than 2,400 news stories around the world.
a. The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, Newsweek, NBC Nightly News, CBS Morning News, Larry King Live, Fox News, Oprah, and dozens of other media outlets heralded the forgiving Amish.
b. Three weeks after the shooting, “Amish forgiveness” had appeared in 2,900 news stories worldwide and on 534,000 web sites.
4. Fresh from the funerals where they had buried their own children, grieving Amish families accounted for half of the seventy-five people who attended the killer’s burial.
a. Roberts’ widow was deeply moved by their presence as Amish families greeted her and her three children.
b. The forgiveness went beyond talk and graveside presence: the Amish also supported a fund for the shooter’s family.
c. How’s that for the power of forgiveness to free and transform?
P. Winifred Potenza lives in Santa Rosa, California.
1. Late one evening in 1990, Potenza’s oldest son, Jonathan only 21, and his finance, Lisa Rodriguez were killed instantly when their car was struck by a drunken driver.
2. As you can imagine, Potenza was inconsolable. Her grief was unbearable and she often found herself walking the streets late at night sobbing and screaming.
3. The district attorney decided to charge the drunken driver with murder. This was the first drunk driving fatality to be prosecuted as murder in Sonoma County. (The usual charge for such a fatality is manslaughter)
4. This charge was done with the extreme instigation of Potenza.
5. The 20 year old driver pleaded guilty and waived his right to a trial. He was consumed by guilt and wanted to die.
6. Potenza was instructed by her attorney to avoid any contact with the young man’s family or friends.
a. Sitting in the courtroom when the judge sentenced William to 15 years to life Potenza really saw William for the first time.
b. In that instant she realized that he was not the monster she had imagined him to be.
c. She thought to herself: “Oh, my God, this is wrong.”
d. She realized that William also had parents who loved their son.
e. She thought, “William did not commit murder, it was a tragic accident.”
f. Potenza rose from her seat and walked right past the guards and gave William a hug.
7. Potenza forgave William and became his friend and advocate.
a. Forgiveness helped her heal and it also helped William heal and gave him back the will to live.
b. Potenza began weekly visits to William, first to Corcoran State Prison and then to Vacaville State Prison.
c. She said, “William is a good person. He has special talents and deserved another chance.”
8. It was Potenza who worked tirelessly to have his charges reduced to manslaughter and have his sentence reduced.
a. Her efforts paid off when it was discovered that William had never signed the document that waived his right to a trial by a jury, so the court threw out his conviction.
b. The district attorney was determined to get a murder conviction and the case dragged on.
c. After seven years of imprisonment William was released on parole.
9. For Potenza the death of her son marked the beginning of an ambitious art project.
a. As an accomplished artist, she has been creating highly acclaimed works of art that are social messages for over 30 years.
b. Her focus is on Peace, both personal and global.
c. The project in Jonathan’s memory is called The Hearts of the World.
d. This enormous project consists of a series of paintings on 5 by 6 ½ ft canvas.
e. Each canvas depicts a heart using the design elements from each country’s symbol, and colors from its’ flag.
f. This ongoing project has sent Potenza traveling around the world to deliver the paintings to the leaders of the countries depicted.
g. 80 of the 185 flags have been completed at this time.
10. Winifred Potenza says, “Tragedy affected me terribly and beautifully. When I am working on Hearts of the World I do it in Jonathan’s name and that inspires me.”
a. For Potenza forgiveness was freeing and transforming.
Q. I want to end with a quote from Alexander Pope, who is regarded as the greatest English poet of the eighteenth century: “To err is human, to forgive divine.”
1. Jesus is divine and He has a forgiving heart.
2. He can help us have a heart like His.
3. We are most like Him when we forgive.
4. What a testimony to God it is when we forgive like God forgives.
5. Are there any relationships in your world that are thirsty for mercy?
6. Are there any sitting around your table who need to be assured of your love and grace?
7. If so, then it’s time to do some kneeling with a basin, a pitcher of water, and a towel.
8. May God help us to have a forgiving heart like His!
Resources:
“Just Like Jesus: Learning to Have a Heart Like His,” by Max Lucado, Thomas Nelson, 2008
“Loving People You are Stuck With,” Sermon by Christian Cheong, SermonCentral.com
