This first lie is:
1. I have to meet everybody’s needs
A. Many people struggle with trying to meet everybody’s needs. It’s this superman or superwoman complex that says I have to be there for everybody. I have to help all my relatives: 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th cousins. I know my son is 45 years old but I have to keep paying is rent. My baby needs me. I have to help everybody at work. They need me! Those people at work won’t make without me. I have to help everybody in my neighborhood. All 100 of my friends need me! They can’t survive without me.
People who live this lie, live under constant stress and pressure. I know, because in the early days of People’s Church, I lived this lie. As a pastor, I felt like I had to meet everybody’s needs. A lot of pastors struggle with this. There’s this pressure of I have to counsel everybody, help everybody, visit everybody in the hospital, marry everybody, meet everybody’s needs. I learned that living this lie is unrealistic and unhealthy.
Let me show you a man in the bible who lived the lie of I have to meet everybody’s needs.
Ex 18:13-18 The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. 14 When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, "What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?" 15 Moses answered him, "Because the people come to me to seek God's will. 16 Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God's decrees and laws." 17 Moses' father-in-law replied, "What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. (NIV)
B. Jethro told Moses that trying to meet everybody’s needs isn’t good! Having the superman or superwoman complex isn’t good! You can meet some needs but you can’t meet every need. You ought to help some people but you can’t help all people! You’re not God! 1. It’s not good because you're wearing yourself out: 2. It’s not good because you’re living a stressed out life trying to meet everybody’s needs. 3. You’re frustrating people because you’re over promising and under delivering. You’re over committing yourself. 4. You’re robbing other people from being used by God
C. Questions to ask yourself to break free from this lie: 1. How is/will this affecting my relationship with God? 2. How is/will this affecting you personally: mentally, physically, emotionally? 3. How is this affecting my spouse and kids? 4. How is this affecting my job?
2. Everybody has to like me
A. Everyone of us wants to be liked by people. The problem occurs when we start believing the lie that everyone HAS to like me. When you believe this lie, you start living to please people instead living to please God! The bible says:
Matt 22:36-38 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37 Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. (NIV) (We’re called to love God more than anybody else. We’re called to please God more than anybody else. When we love God we obey God because we want to please God. The bible says it like this:)
John 14:15 "If you love me, you will obey what I command. (NIV)
B. When we love God we obey God because we want to please God. The key to a successful life is to find out what Jesus wants you to do and then do it! But you can’t do what Jesus wants you to do and believe the lie that everybody has to like you.
Here’s what happens: You start disobeying Jesus so people will like you. You’re sleeping with your boyfriend. You’re partying so your friends will like you. You’re spending money on expensive clothes and cars to look good but don’t tithe! You’re cutting ethical corners at work so the boss will like. You’re talking bad about somebody to make somebody else like you. You can’t love Jesus with all your heart and obey Jesus and be focused on wanting everybody liking you. What people think about us is not as important as what God thinks about us. Pleasing people is not as important as pleasing Jesus!
3. I have to be like everybody else
A. I struggled with this big time when I first started preaching. First of all, I’ve always wanted to be a singing preacher. I envy singing preachers! But I can’t sing! No matter how hard I try I can’t sing. But I use to try to preach like other preachers that I really respected. One pastor I respected always talked about the Greek and had a unique preaching style and I tried to imitate him. One time I was in New York preaching and I tried to preach like this pastor and I bombed big time. I don’t think any of those people were blessed my sermon and the church didn’t invite me back. I wanted to whoop like another pastor that I really liked. I had to come to grips with the fact that I was different from those preachers and that was a good thing. God made me different.
1 Cor 12:17-18 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? (American Idol) 18 But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. (NIV)
B. God made us just like he wanted us. He gave us the gifts and talents that he wanted us to have. We are all different and unique and that’s a good thing. Nobody can beat you being you. You’re special! You’re not junk! You’re not a nobody! You’re valuable and unique! So quit trying to be like somebody else and be who God has called you to be!
Ps 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (NIV) (Be you because you’re fearfully and wonderfully made! You need to improve you but be you! When I say improve you, I mean you need to grow! Be you but learn from others. Be you but read books, blogs and go to conferences so that you can grow. Be you but hone and develop your skills. Quit living the lie that you have be like somebody else! You’re valuable!
4. I have to pretend like everything is ok
James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (KJV)
A. This is a difficult scripture for many of us! We don’t live in a confess your faults to one another society. We live in a society where we put on masks! We put up fronts! We pretend like everything is ok even when everything is falling a part! Illustration: How are you? Great! Blessed! Highly favored! No you’re not! You’re sick, depressed and stressed out! How are your kids? Great! How is your marriage and spouse? Great! How’s you’re life? Great! No, you’re addicted, secret sin!
