1. Words are important.
A high School senior was asking his father's advice on how to woo the girl of his dreams. And his dad said "Well son, when you take her out for pizza tonight and you're sitting across the table from her, take her hand in yours gaze longingly into her eyes and softly say 'Wow, you have a face that would make time stand still.'"
That night, when the boy took the girl out to eat, he sat down across the table from her, took her hand in his, gazed into her eyes. But he was nervous. His hands were shaking and he couldn’t quite remember exactly what his father told him to say. Then suddenly he smiled and said "Whoa babe, you've got a face that would stop a clock."
Somehow I don’t think that line was going to work on her
He was trying to follow his father’s advice
He was trying to tell her “I love you.”
But that’s not what she’d heard.
2. We know words can be a blessing and a curse – Sticks & Stones – tell that to a child who just told she was stupid; to a teen who was mocked by his peers; a conscientious employee who was told they were inept by their employer.
3. Words are an important part of right living – 1 Peter 3.8-16 (cf. Psalm 34.12-13)
a. Speak right
b. Avoid wrong
c. Idiom – Evil Tongue = Gossip
4. The Benefits of the Tongue
The story is told of a young lady who was eagerly awaiting the arrival of her boyfriend for their first date together. Although he wasn’t due to arrive for some time the doorbell rang while she was still fixing her hair.
Without thinking, she answered the door with her hair standing on end, no makeup, and wearing her favorite pajamas. When she opened the door she found herself standing face to face with her new date.
The surprise left her utterly embarrassed, but not defeated. She made the best of the situation by smiling and saying, “Well, what do you think?” her date grinned and said gently, “it looks like something beautiful is about to happen!” he obviously stole her heart that very moment.
There is another story about a time when a husband came home one afternoon and caught his wife with her hair up in huge curlers. He said to her, “what happened to your hair?” the wife replied, “I set it.” the husband jokingly replied, “if you set it, then when does it go off?”
Although both stories have a humorous side, only one qualifies as kind and gentle. We all know that words can devastate or delight. They can tear down or build up. Words can bring life and some can even kill.
I. When Speech Blesses
A. Praise to God –
John Wesley was about 21 years of age when he went to Oxford University. He came from a Christian home, and he was gifted with a keen mind and good looks. Yet in those days he was a bit snobbish and sarcastic.
One night, however, something happened that set in motion a change in Wesley’s heart. While speaking with a porter, he discovered that the poor fellow had only one coat and lived in such impoverished conditions that he didn’t even have a bed. Yet he was an unusually happy person, filled with gratitude to God.
Wesley, being immature, thoughtlessly joked about the man’s misfortunes. “And what else do you thank God for?” he said with a touch of sarcasm.
The porter smiled, and in the spirit of meekness replied with joy, “I thank Him that He has given me my life and being, a heart to love Him, and above all a constant desire to serve Him!” Deeply moved, Wesley recognized that this man knew the meaning of true thankfulness.
Many years later, in 1791, John Wesley lay on his deathbed at the age of 88. Those who gathered around him realized how well he had learned the lesson of praising God in every circumstance. Despite Wesley’s extreme weakness, he began singing the hymn, “I’ll Praise My Maker While I’ve Breath.”
1. Psalm 51:14-15 14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
2. Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!
3. Psalm 147:1 Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God;
for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting.
B. Making Peace –
1. To end strife
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Proverbs 10.11
2. To Bring Comfort
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12.15
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 2 Corinthians 1.3
II. When Speech Breaks
A. Forms of Negative Speech
1. Lying
2. Slander – lying about someone to discredit them
3. Criticisms, especially unjust; harsh
B. A Focus on Gossip – Idiom for “Evil Tongue”
The Gossip: Many years ago a woman from a small town who was known for being a gossip was on vacation and visited the offices of The Chicago Daily News. She was wearing a white dress and inadvertently leaned against a wall where a freshly printed copy of the front page was hanging. It was a hot, humid day, and some of the print came off on the back of her white dress.
Later, as she walked down the street to meet her husband, she noticed that people walking behind her were snickering. When she reached the place where her husband was waiting, she asked him if there was anything on her back that shouldn’t be there. As she turned around, he read the large black reversed letters: sweN ylaiD. Realizing the appropriateness of the words, he said, “No, dear, nothing’s on your back that doesn’t belong there.”
1. Gossip can be revealing negative details about a person to defame them
2. Gossip could be revealing truths about a person to defame them
A woman once repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
The wise one said, “Go to the marketplace and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road.”
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told. The next day the wise man said, “Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me.”
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand. “You see,” said the old sage, “It’s easy to drop them, but it’s impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn’t take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong.”
We need to avoid gossip!
a. May not see truth telling as wrong
b. Boss bungled presentation; song leader off key; preacher misspoke
3. Rabbis – Gossip is closer to Murder than stealing is – can repay what is stolen; can’t take back a reputation that has been destroyed
4. Gossip – compared to Leprosy in Leviticus
C. What’s the Big Deal?
1. We can damage others
a. Tear others down to build selves up
3Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2.3-4
b. Bring pain to God – Yeshua on Cross
2. We can damage selves
a. Actions reveal the heart
You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12.34
b. Creates assumptions of the worst in others [Waymon and Faulkner
c. Judgmental actions/words come back – don’t be judgmental!
1 "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Matthew 7.1-2; Galatians 6.7
[Man was arrested for embezzlement; friend went to visit – What have you been doing with your time? – Sewing clothes. – You have been sewing? – No, I have been REAPING!
III. When Speech Brings Back
A. Right Speech Brings Good Life (1 Peter 3.10a)
1. Life NOW, not just the world to come
2. Kingdom of Heaven is Now; Eternal Life is NOW
3. We can be so heavenly minded that we are of no earthly good.
B. Right Speech Takes Effort
Benjamin Franklin: “Teach your child to hold his tongue. He will learn fast enough to speak.”
A man came to Socrates and asked to be his student of Oratory. Socrates agreed but because the man spoke incessantly Socrates charged him double; once to teach the man to speak and once to teach him to be silent.
1. Repentance is involved
2. Stopping the wrong – [A teacher was brought before a judge for having run a red light. She explained that she was a teacher and asked him to immediately dispose of the case so she could hurry to teach her class. The Judge replied, “I am about to realize a lifelong dream. I have waited for years to get a school teacher in this court. I want you to sit down and write, ‘I went through a red light’ 500 times.”
a. Doing the right – say truth; say nothing; only what edifies
3. Battle against the evil inclination – Romans 7.24-25
24Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
C. Right Speech Brings Peace – 1 Peter 3.11
In the 3rd-century, a skeptic named Celsus mocked Origen (a Christian leader of day) "When most teachers go forth to teach, they cry, ’Come to me, you who are clean and worthy,’ and they are followed by the highest caliber of people available. But your silly master cries, ’Come to me, you who are down and beaten by life.’ So, he accumulates around him the rag, tag and bobtail of humanity."
And Origen replied: "Yes, they are the rag, tag and bobtail of humanity. But Jesus does not leave them that way. Out of material you would have thrown away as useless, he fashions men, giving them back their self-respect, enabling them to stand on their feet and look God in the eyes. They were cowed, cringing, broken things. But the Son has set them free."
In some churches in China, they welcome new believers by saying,
"Jesus now has a new pair of eyes to see with,
new ears to listen with,
new hands to help with,
and a new heart to love others with."
God takes us and shapes us – we have to be submissive to his will and work.
