Christian conflicts
Date: September 11, 2011
Scripture: Acts 15:1-41, Matthew 18:15-16
Introduction:
We come to our journey in the book of Acts were we see some Christian differences.
• The Jerusalem Council. “Doctrinal”
• Paul and Barnabas dispute with John Mark. “non-doctrinal”
This brand of Christian infighting is nothing new.
• Thousands of churches/even entire denominations have been started down through history simply because Christians couldn't get along.
People are always hurt when believers disagree to the point of fighting among themselves.
I imagine the vast majority of you understand what I'm talking about
• you've may have been a part of a painful split
• Or some other form of church infighting.
• You may have had a falling out with another Christian and your relationship has never been the same
• Or maybe your feelings were hurt in a business meeting and you've withdrawn from active ministry.
• unfortunately, all of us have been wounded in some way
• All of us know how painful it is when Christians allow their disagreement to hurt their fellowship.
Now, I bring all this up-because in the next portion of our study of the book of Acts, there are two examples of Christians disputes.
Let’s look at these disagreements
How they were handled and pray God will help us to understand how important it is that we get along as believers.
Sermon:
The first example of conflict we find there is recorded in Acts 15:1-2. Some men came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the brothers: "Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses you cannot be saved. This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question.
Now remember a few times we already studied that there were conflicts:
• From the beginning Jewish believers had trouble accepting Gentiles.
• It began with that God-fearing centurion in Caesarea, Cornelius.
Remember? God had to repeat his "vision-lesson" three times before Peter began to understand.
Then Peter had to go back and explain the full facts to the Jerusalem leaders, instead of raising objections they “praised God.” (11:18).
Next came the movement in Syrian Antioch when unnamed missionaries ‘began to speak to Greeks also’(11:20).
• A great number believed.
• Jerusalem church heard this sent Barnabas/Remember.
• He saw great evidence of the grace of God.
Then the third development was the first missionary trip.
• Which the first outsider “Sergius Paul” believed.
• And then Paul/Barnabas responded to Jewish unbelief with the bold declaration ‘we now turn to the Gentiles’ (13:46)
Thereafter, everywhere they went, both Jew and Gentile believed.
Now, one or two Gentiles becoming Christians-like Cornelius and that Ethiopian eunuch fella-well that was at least tolerable for the Jewish believers in Jerusalem.
But, in their opinion, things got out of hand when Paul and Barnabas returned from the first ever mission trip and told how God had "opened a door of faith to the Gentiles..." (14:27).
• After the conversions/Cornelius/Antiochene Gentiles.
• Jewish leader were able to reassure themselves that God was in it.
• The trickle of Gentile conversions/fast becoming a torrent.
• They didn’t have problem with the general concept of believing Gentiles.
• The OT passages predicted their inclusion.
But something quite different was happening.
• Something that disturbed and even alarmed them.
____________________________________________________
Gentile converts were being welcomed into fellowship by baptism without circumcision.
To them, this was simply too much.
• It incensed many Jewish believers,
• Those who had been Pharisees-the guardians of the law.
• They were called “Judaizers” “The Circumcision Party”
• Something had to be done.
• So they sent emissaries to Antioch saying that enough was enough.
Now here is the dispute, the heresy.
If a Gentile was to become a Christian, he must first become a Jew and be circumcised.
"These converted Pharisees and their followers were not bad people; their problem was that they stood with one foot in Moses' Law and one foot in Christ's love. And now the ground was separating beneath them."
This is a good word picture for us to use because these Pharisees were saying that becoming a Christian was a "both-end" deal.
They were saying, "You had to have faith in God's amazing grace AND you had to be circumcised!"
And you know, unfortunately these days many Christians make the same sort of mistake.
They say the grace of God is not enough-that to be a Christian...to be saved...there is something "extra" a person must do:
• That they have to tithe their 10%.
• That they have to attend church 3 times a week.
• That they have to speak in tongues.
• Or be on several committees.
But this is wrong. God's Word teaches that we are saved by grace through faith ALONE.
I believe if you are saved by grace you will eventually exhibit some of these characters. You are a new creation!
• but to add anything to Christ as necessary to salvation
• say circumcision or any human work of any kind
• Is to deny that Christ is the COMPLETE Savior.
Well Paul and Barnabas were mature enough spiritually to understand this foundational principle of our faith.
• They realized this issue needed to be dealt with.
• It was worth arguing over!
So with the blessing/leaders/church in Antioch they went to Jerusalem
• On their side they had Peter and James.
• The series/meetings that followed have been called THE JERUSALEM COUNCIL.
And if you were to read the rest of this text you'd see that the members of that council resolved this conflict by affirming two basic things:
• First, ANYONE, Jew or Gentile can be saved.
• They did realize "Whosoever will may come."
Do you remember the veil in the temple?
* the veil that separated the outer area from the holy of holies.
* it was split as Christ hung on the cross.
Well, that veil is big enough for anyone to get through!
ANYONE, male, female, Jew, Gentile... ANYONE can become a Christian.
The second thing The Jerusalem Council affirmed was that Jesus ALONE can save
• not Jesus plus baptism or Jesus plus circumcision
• Jesus plus a holy life-not Jesus plus anything
• We are saved through faith in JESUS ALONE!
Now-I think this is a good time for me to point out that sometimes conflict is necessary.
• Doctrinal issues are worth fighting over.
• Some things are NOT worth fighting about.
• I mean, a lot/Christians fight about some pretty foolish stuff.
For example...Sometimes we argue over silly things.
• Business meetings…color of carpeting or lengths of pews or if a classroom should have this cabinet or this one.
Well, these kind of things are just NOT worth fighting about-but as I said, the opposite is also true.
• Some conflicts are absolutely necessary!
• After all, our unity as Christians,
• our unity as a local church,
• is based on our mutual acceptance of the essentials
• Those non-negotiable doctrinal beliefs that are grounded in Scripture.
And sometimes constructive conflict is the only way to correct erroneous human thinking-as was the case here.
Let’s move on. The second conflict we find in this chapter is in verses 36 - 39. Follow along as I read.
36 - Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." 37 - Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38 - but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39 - They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company.
Now, this is indeed a sad little chapter/history church
• The fact that God prompted Luke to record it here is good because it reminds us that the Bible never flatters/heroes.
• I mean, one moment we read about David bravely slinging a stone at Goliath and the next we see him casting a lustful glance at Bathsheeba.
• We admire Peter as we read about him leaving his nets to follow Jesus but we shake our heads when he denies our Lord on the eve of His crucifixion.
And, we all look up to Paul for His mission fervor
• and Barnabas for his skills of encouragement
• But to be honest are we also embarrassed a bit to read about their behavior here.
• They argued so severely that they split.
• These two "giants of the faith" parted company!
And as far as we know, they never worked together again.
Well, as I said this is just another example of the fact that Scripture paints the saints REALISTICALLY
• showing us that they were fallible men
• Showing us they have headstrong opinions that sometimes clashed.
"I am greatly comforted whenever I read this. I'm thankful for the revelation of the humanity of these men.
These men were not angels. They were men."
Reading this account in God's book is good news.
I am comforted...for three reasons
• First it shows the Bible is not made up but it is truth!
• Second because it makes it possible for us to relate to the people we read about in these pages.
• We see that they are just like us
• and if God can use them
• He can use us as well.
• And thirdly. What came from the split?
• Barnabas kept Mark.
• Paul took…Silas, timothy…
Let’s look in our “owner’s manual” to see how we respond to Christian conflict.
So that precious Christian fellowship is preserved.
Look with me now at Matthew 18:15-16 where Jesus addresses this issue by saying...
15 - "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 - But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
• Before we look at this text
• Before we study what Jesus says here about how to deal with conflict
• We must first understand how important Christian unity is to our Lord.
• We need to get on the same sheet of music here with Jesus.
• that means we need to look at quarreling and gossiping and slander-
• We need to look at anything that damages our unity as believers as a totally SCANDALOUS thing.
The truth is we are upset by MORAL failures on the part of believers
But most of us just don't care enough about FELLOWSHIP failures.
We are NOT scandalized by a lack of love-BUT JESUS IS!
• Love was and is His supreme value, it must be our supreme value as well.
• Remember? Jesus' summation of the TOTAL teaching of Divine revelation is captured in that single word:
• LOVE-for God and LOVE-for people.
• So, the greatest crimes against the Kingdom of God then, are crimes against LOVE.
• To slander another human being, to carry a grudge against someone who I think has hurt me,
• To gossip about someone I have not even confronted...
• We must understand that these are all direct violations of Jesus' most fundamental command.
Do you remember His prayer in the garden the night of His arrest?
He prayed, "As You, Father, are in Me and I am in You, may they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You have sent Me."
• When we allow conflict to lead us to violate oneness
• When we contribute to relational brokenness
• It doesn't just affect us.
• It doesn't just affect the other person.
• [When we do this] we are contributing to the destruction of that which is most prized by God
• Purchased by Him at the greatest cost
• The oneness of the Trinitarian community.
• We are in a real sense, committing treason against the Trinity."
Okay-with that in mind look now with me at Matthew 18 where Jesus has given us several basic principles to deal with conflict.
1. And the first principle we find here is this. We must ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that conflict happens.
That's part of what Jesus was getting at in verse 15 when He said, "If your brother sins against you go and show him his fault.."
• In a fallen world-even among Christians-brothers are going to sin against each other.
• Conflict is going to occur.
In fact, and this may sound heretical, but I think we should rephrase the first part of verse 15.
I mean instead of saying, "IF your brother or sister sins against you" it should say,"WHEN your brother sins,"
• Because in any relationship-even between Christians
• Sinful conflict is inevitable.
• Part of living in a fallen world involves being in conflict.
• People disagree. People fight.
• Sometimes they fight a lot; sometimes a little;
Constructively/destructively; fairly; sometimes unfairly.
• Sometimes fights end well-like the one that led to the Jerusalem council.
• Other times they end poorly like this dispute between Paul and Barnabas.
• But conflict is going to happen on this side of eternity.
This is important for us to understand because many of us pretend that conflict doesn't exist.
Sweep it under the carpet!
Some Christians even act as if a lack of conflict is a sign of spiritual maturity.
• But this is not true.
• Even mature Christians-like Paul/Barnabas/disagreements.
In fact, a lack of conflict COULD BE DUE to apathy
You know, Christians just not caring enough about absolute truth to defend it.
• They care more about peace than truth
or Christians not loving a brother or sister who has fallen into sin enough to confront them and help them repent and return to living in the center of God's will.
In any case, we shouldn't be surprised when conflict rears its ugly head in the church.
There will be times when godly people disagree.
2. The second principle we must understand when it comes to dealing with conflict is that everyone must OWN Responsibility when it comes to resolving the issue.
If community is to be restored EVERYONE involved must take responsibility for resolving the situation
• Both the person who has done the wrong and the person who has been wronged.
Here Jesus says that if a brother or sister sins against us, we should take the responsibility to go to them and explain how they have hurt us.
• This is what Paul and Barnabas did in verses 1-2.
• They went to Jerusalem to confront the Pharisees.
• And this is good guidance because often people hurt us without even knowing it
• Which means if we don't go to them, things will never be put right.
• They continue to live rent free in our head.
But please note-Jesus ALSO taught that the person who does the wrong should take responsibility.
In Matthew 5:23-24 our Lord said,
"If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you [for something you have done to him], leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift."
The greatest hold-up to the healing for my hang-up is me.
The greatest hold-up to the healing of your hang-up is you.
It starts by being radically honest and saying “I’m the problem”
I keep saying, “If I just change relationships, change jobs, change towns, then everything will be fine.
• The only problem is wherever I go, I’m there.
• And I keep messing up.
So accept responsibility for your faults. Don’t rationalize.
Don’t say “it happened a long time ago” or “It’s just a stage” or “Everybody else does it”
• Don’t rationalize it – Don’t minimize it.
• Don’t blame others saying “It’s mostly their fault”
• It may be mostly their fault, but God holds you responsible for the 10% that’s your fault.
• It may be mostly their fault, but what about your 10%.
• And you just admit you messed up
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us”
So Jesus taught that both the sinner and the sin-ee
• both the wrong-do-er and the wrong-do-ee
• Each side must take responsibility.
• He taught this because community is that important
• We show that we believe it is important in this way by taking the responsibility to deal with relational break-downs.
• This leads to the third principle we find here in Matthew 18...
3. ...APPROACH, don't avoid the person you are in conflict with.
In other words Jesus says, "GO" to this person.
• Take action. Don't let resentment fester.
• Now, we don't usually do this do we?
• We tend to AVOID the people we are in conflict with.
• Why? Why do we have such a hard time with this?
One reason is its more fun to pout so we'd rather stay and stew.
Besides if we go, things might get ugly/we don't like to deal/ugly.
• And that's a good thing to understand up front.
• I mean confrontation may not go well but we shouldn't let that stop us from dealing with it.
• Avoidance causes resentment to fester.
• we do to take some time/cool our own heels and prepare
• To prayerfully gather/thoughts before we approach/person.
• Proverbs 14:17 says, "People with hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm."
Calm down first because ANGER causes us to behave foolishly.
It causes what therapists refer to as "cognitive incapacitation."
• Being MAD prevents us from thinking straight.
• In fact anger produces what you might call, "the Jim Carrey effect." As you get mad and madder, you get dumb and dumber.
• But once we HAVE cooled down GO-hurry-deal with the problem.
Remember? Paul said, "Be angry but do not sin-do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26)
In other words, cool down but don't wait too long.
Resolve the issue. The more you wait, the worse it will get.
The more you wait, the harder it will be to fix things!
4. The fourth principle Jesus gives us here can be summarized in three words: No Third Parties.
In other words we are to Go-and GO DIRECTLY to ONLY the person involved and clearly explain to them the problem.
Now, that's the last person most of us want to go to.
• Instead of going to the person with whom we have a problem
• We prefer going to someone else-someone we can get on our side.
It's kind of like building a coalition of nations against Saddam.
We go to other people and in this way gather allies before we attack.
Why? BECAUSE WE WANT TO WIN!
Personal experience.
And, when this happened I wanted to tell everyone I could. I felt like going back to the store equipped with a bull-horn and tell everyone about my experience with extended warranties. I wanted to write a scathing editorial in the paper. I wanted to call my congressman. I wanted to gather a coalition of allies against this enemy. I guess that's kind of what I'm doing now!
• That’s the way we are when we are wronged
• We want to go to everyone BUT the person who/wronged us.
• So we get lots of people on our side
• But doing this is disobeying Jesus' command.
We are to go to the person and only to the person-no third parties.
Remember in Philippians 4:2 when Paul said, "I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord."
These two women were apparently disagreeing about something.
• We don't know what the issue was.
• Perhaps it had to do with who had the goofier name.
• But I think it's interesting to note what Paul DOESN'T advise.
• He doesn't say, "Eudoia, talk to some other people about how unfair Syntyche is being to you.
• Thoroughly discuss her character flaws and neuroses so that others can pray for her more intelligently."
He doesn't say, "Hey Syntyche, let three or four of your closest friends know how Euodia has mistreated you so they can reinforce your self-righteous sense of martyrdom."
No-he says, "I plead with you...agree WITH EACH OTHER."
• You see, going ONLY to the person limits the damage to just the two of you.
• It also reduces potential misunderstandings.
Jesus says…only after dealing with this one on one has not worked are we to bring in a third party.
5. The last principle here is this. We are to aim at RECONCILIATION.
Remember what Jesus said, "If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."
• The goal in conflict resolving situations is not to win or score points-it's reconciliation.
• Your aim should not be to run someone off but rather to restore the relationship.
• When we disagree we should let our love for each other compel us to care enough to work through the issue.
We can do great on all four principles and miss the mark on this last one.
• We need to seek reconciliation at all costs.
Jesus says, our GOAL in situations like this must always be to "win our brother."
Invitation:
You know, I am fairly sure that most of us here this morning have been or even right now are right now involved in some form of personal conflict. And if that applies to you-then I encourage you-to turn that mental mike on right now and talk to God about the situation. Commit to go to the person or persons...that spouse or parent or child or employee or boss or coach or deacon or PASTOR-and do what it takes to make peace. Resolve the conflict.
I also feel led to point out that if you're here and are not a Christian-then in a very real sense you are in conflict with God Himself.
In Romans 5:10 it refers to non-Christians as "God's enemies" and then it goes on to say that Jesus came to die for our sins and in that way reconcile us to God. Jesus came to be our Mediator-so act on that fact-ask Jesus forgive your sins and invite Him into your heart and life.
If you make that decision or any other that needs to be public,
I invite you to walk forward right now as we stand and sing and share that decision with me. Won't you come as God leads?
