One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do….
- Three Dog Night
As I was thinking about my message on isolation that well-known lyric sprang to mind.
I remember a time when I wasn’t just singing it….I was living it!
I was married at 18 years of age. My young wife had an idea of who I should. My in-laws had their idea of who I should be. My dad, who was also my pastor and mentor, told me who I was called to be. Everyone KNEW who and what I should be and I was busy trying to be everything to everyone. How could I be me? I didn’t know me. It wasn’t long before I found myself out of touch with all of them because I wasn’t being the “me” God created me to be. To be honest, with all the outside input and effort to be everything, I began to feel like nothing. I moved from feeling like nothing to feeling nothing, which as I discovered, was extremely painful. This “nothing” place of pain is the very place that isolation gains entrance into our lives. The enemy moves full-throttle to isolate us in our pain. We’re among the living but we no longer enjoy life. Imagine those with life-threatening immune deficiencies…living life in a bubble and unable to enjoy the scent of a rose. Isolated people are just that way. They no longer think about the happy times or what it was like to simply stop to “smell the roses.”
Recently, I received a call from a friend who said “I can’t believe he’s acting this way. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to be around me or anyone.” I knew as soon as I heard those words that it was more than a spat or a dispute, it was a serious tactical assault from the enemy. I called my friend and left a message but he didn’t return my call. I would text my friend and he wouldn’t text back. My friend cut off the very people who loved him the most. This was not the open, loving, and loyal person I had to come to know and love. I remembered a similar pain. I could relate but I never had the chance to relate it to him. I identified with the pain he must be suffering and as his pastor, I began to consider the full-frontal, spiritual attack taking place in his life. Perhaps it’s similar to something you’ve encountered. Jesus encountered it!
Luke 4 And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. 3And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread. 4And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.
Jesus was 40 days without food! He was hungry! When was the last time you were REALLY hungry and passed? Ok…when was the last time you hadn’t eaten for 40 days and passed on a dinner invitation? Everything Jesus had been through assured Him of what He would gain if He would exalt what was written instead of what looked like the thing to do. When your mission is clear it gives endurance the extra push when needed. If you’re a parent…your mission is to train and protect your children so they have what they need in life. If you’re a teacher, you’re mission is to educate. Mine is to shepherd God’s people. People that isolate themselves, pull away and become scattered are as sheep without a shepherd.
And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd…. Eze 34:5 The isolated are without a shepherd and wide-open to peril.
Remember, our fight of faith is compared to combat in an unseen realm. The enemy is tactical. His spiritual “modus operandi” runs parallel to combat procedure. First…cut off all communication and isolate the prisoner! If I could have communicated with him, I would have reminded him of God’s promise in trials. I would have helped him in any way humanly possible. But, encouragement isn’t possible without some form of communication…whether or not it’s in words, a touch, a deed…communication is vital to combat. I saw that he bought into the belief that he needed to be alone. My friend’s pain had become my pain but with the line of communication cut off, I wasn’t able to help him or to just be there for him. I’m still waiting for the day that my friend will reach out or he will allow me to reach in.
Isolation isn’t just emotional, it’s tactical. It’s deceptive to believe things will be better if we don’t have to deal with people or that we can miss every unpleasant confrontation. We might think it’s the solution but it’s playing right into a strategy for being overtaken. Isolation separates us from a “multitude of counselors.” Isolation leads to negligence, inactivity, dullness of spirit, spiritual weakness and leaves us open to deception.
It’s a dangerous place where we’re left alone with only the words of defeat from a merciless opponent and vain mental images of how things will never be good again. Lies like “no one cares.” “It will never change.” “It’s not worth the fight.” Little lies… little foxes. These lies keep us awake at night. These lies are another tactical move known as sleep deprivation which will weaken our will or morale and distort our perception of truth. Does this sound anything close to battle-ready? Or does it sound more like defeat apparent?
…and finally…when hopelessness enters…the enemy perceives the evidence of instability in our faith. Then and only then he begins to imitate the “comforter” with suggestions for what will make us feel better. I’m sure you’ve noticed that the enticements are always opposed to God’s Truth, i.e. food will make it better, indulgent shopping will make it better, an extramarital affair will make us feel better, etc. Incidentally, the etc here is the ultimate objective, the paramount lie, the “kill” if you will… that suicide will end everything we’re feeling. I told you…he’s merciless. He’s a liar. Lies are merciless. There is no such thing as a harmless lie.
Gen 2:8 says it’s not good for man to be ALONE. At first glance we might just see this as a marriage scripture, but I believe within it is a statement for precaution. Obviously, it’s not a good thing for anyone to be alone, especially in an isolated sense. God told us not to forsake assembly. He said there is safety or wisdom in a multitude of counselors. No outside help. No communication. People tried to cut me off from my Dad. They said he was a MAN-ipulator. He wasn’t. He had opponents simply for what he was. He was a man of God, a man of prayer and God had shown him my calling.
I was a “yes” man that ended up at odds with everyone. I wasn’t doing what “they” thought I should and that resulted in my disintegrating marriage. Long story short, I soon divorced, lived isolated in a basement, not sleeping at night…away from my wife, away from her family and away from my family. Thank God for the grace that enabled me to give my Dad the chance to speak the Word of God back into my life.
Again, there is safety in a multitude of counselors. Psalm 1 says it best….it tells us to be around godly men, not to sit with people that have nothing good to say about the people of God. We have to fellowship with believers. We need to get counsel from the godly people in our lives. Together we’re stronger. We change our life with our words. We don’t change it by vacating hard places.
God puts people in our lives for our support, our enjoyment, to enhance our strengths and cover our weakness with their strength. We must not pull away from the “helper” that God has placed in each of us. Let’s embrace life. Rise to challenges. Forgive our offenders. Restore those who have stepped away. Time is brief and fleeting. We won’t pass this way, again. If you’ve pulled away, even to the point of isolation, come back! Don’t suffer alone with only the words of your enemy. Remember that Eve was alone in the garden. She was the most vulnerable, alone. The devil knows that you alone is a best-case scenario to take you out of your calling, your marriage and even life, itself. Eve was alone. Adam wasn’t there. Idle minds, idle hands. Keep you mind engaged with pure thoughts and your hands working in noble pursuit.
I want to close with Hebrews 10: 21-25 And having a high priest over the house of God; 22Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 24And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Keep in mind that isolation hurts everyone, those who love us and those we love the most. We can never estimate which ones are actually holding onto us for dear life. Many will never tell us. They just follow us. That isn’t meant to produce pressure. I meant it to say you are valuable and loved, even when you feel like it isn’t so.
Last of all- Don’t take yourself out of the game of life. Don’t look to escape from interaction. Jesus didn’t separate from people except to pray. Don’t replace real conversation with social media conversation. Like you, I enjoy Facebook and Twitter. Because I pastor a large church, I can’t meet everyone, therefore, social media affords me the chance to learn and enjoy many personalities that I may, otherwise, never get to really know. However, as humans we need a human touch. Don’t take yourself out of the game of life. We need FACE TIME far more than Facebook.:)
