Home Work
Pt. 1 – Working Dads
I know very few people who ever enjoyed home work. I am sure that many of you, like me, did everything you could do to avoid homework! Make up lame excuses like my dog ate it! It wasn’t something that was fun. If you didn’t do it you got in trouble and you suffered the consequences. I remember growing up that I couldn’t do anything after school until my homework was complete. Home work is still necessary. I think that most of us should probably stop doing other things until we get our homes in order and repaired. The truth is that even though I know of some great homes and great marriages I know of no home, no marriage, and no relationship that doesn’t need constant work and care. God’s Word gives us a blueprint to help our homes work.
We start today with dads! If our homes are going to be what they are supposed to be then we have to start with the dads! Did you know that 93% of the Americans in prison are men and that 85% of those are from fatherless homes? Dads we have work to do. Men you are the key component in your family!
I think the best way to illustrate what dads should be doing is to show you an example of what dads shouldn’t be doing!
Text: 1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-23, 29
12-17 Eli's own sons were a bad lot. They didn't know GOD and could not have cared less about the customs of priests among the people. Ordinarily, when someone offered a sacrifice, the priest's servant was supposed to come up and, while the meat was boiling, stab a three-pronged fork into the cooking pot. The priest then got whatever came up on the fork. But this is how Eli's sons treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh to offer sacrifices to GOD. Before they had even burned the fat to GOD, the priest's servant would interrupt whoever was sacrificing and say, "Hand over some of that meat for the priest to roast. He doesn't like boiled meat; he likes his rare." If the man objected, "First let the fat be burned—God's portion!—then take all you want," the servant would demand, "No, I want it now. If you won't give it, I'll take it." It was a horrible sin these young servants were committing—and right in the presence of GOD!—desecrating the holy offerings to GOD.
22-23, 29
22 Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 23 So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.
29 Why do you scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’
1 Samuel 4:17-18
"And so, my son," said Eli, "what happened?" 17 The messenger answered, "Israel scattered before the Philistines. The defeat was catastrophic, with enormous losses. Your sons Hophni and Phinehas died, and the Chest of God was taken."
18 At the words, "Chest of God," Eli fell backward off his stool where he sat next to the gate. Eli was an old man, and very fat. When he fell, he broke his neck and died. He had led Israel forty years.
A. The #1 enemy men face is apathy
Eli heard reports about what his sons were doing. He was disconnected. He was so disconnected from what his own sons were doing that he had to rely on the reports of others!
And then when he found out he was apathetic towards what they were doing!
Men I want you to hear me loud and clear. . . The #1 enemy that we face is apathy. Many would say our biggest enemy is lust. Our society is saturated with sex. Some would say it is pride or anger. However, I believe these are all symptomatic of apathy in our walk, in our diligence, in our romance.
Men you have to admit we are aggressive by nature. It doesn't matter if its business, football or cornhole we fight for domination! You have an alumni game and men who haven’t touched a basketball or football in a decade will put themselves in the hospital trying to prove they still got it. Yet when it comes to family and leading our kids we tend to become passive allowing our wife to lead.
Adam subdued garden but couldn’t step up and fight for his family. He stood idly by and watched the enemy lead wife astray. Apathy ...Too many of us are following in footsteps of our father Adam. We are too apathetic for our families good. Eli’s apathy cost his family their lives, destiny, and favor. Our apathy does the same things! We are without passion! So we have too many wives that are widowed and children are orphaned even though the man is still alive and living in the home. May need to check some man cards because too many of our men are men by anatomy but neutered by apathy!
We have a mandate to work on our families. We are not allowed the luxury of being apathetic!
We will know you are doing work by the following:
2. Working Dads Model/Provide Discipline
Eli didn’t model or provide any discipline for his sons! They ended up dying because their dad wasn’t working! When I say discipline I am not just talking about spankings and grounding although that would go a long way in some of our homes. In fact, the Word tells us that if we spare the rod we spoil the child! Dr. Spock didn’t have a clue what he was talking about. He didn’t even have kids of his own! I want you to know that my Dad was Zoro so he had zero problems from me. This was because my father understood that there is no disciple with the absence of discipline. I am talking about the entire concept and scope of discipline. Our lack of discipline disciples our kids another way. It disciples them to a life of heartache and chaos. How should we model/provide discipline?
a. Decision making!
Eli’s sons were making terrible decisions and Eli never provided them any guidance. His lack of discipline cost his kids their lives!
How many of our wives and kids make life altering decisions with no assistance from us? We watch them date the wrong guy/girl and say nothing. We watch them wear something and never voice a concern. I see 16 year old girls with stuff hanging out everywhere and I want to know where is the dad? Forget the mom. The dad knows how guys think and he let her out of the house in that. We watch our kids make terrible financial decisions and never teach theme to tithe or to save! Your kids will handle money how you handle money! Want your kids to be blessed? Model tithing for them! Our kids need some help making wise decisions! You reveal your love to them by helping them learn life!
b. Priorities
Revealing portion of Scripture. Eli was very fat! I have taught you natural reveals spiritual. Eli’s physical condition revealed his spiritual condition. He lacked discipline. Not enough to talk a good game. They saw with their own eyes that he wasn’t modeling a disciplined life! His food became his priority. His priorities were his kids over God. If we are going to model or provide disciple for our kids we have got to teach them to live a prioritized life.
Men you must make God a priority or your kids won’t. Some of you are heartbroken that your kids don’t like church. How have they seen you act towards church? What have they heard you say about church? If football is more important than God, if your job is more important than God, then don’t be surprised with your kids place God way down their priority list too. If your family isn’t as important as your job, then don’t be surprised if your family isn’t a priority to your kids! Your priority list will become your kid’s priority list! What you value they will value. What you worship they will worship!
You can either teach your kids now by pursuing God or you will spend your later years pursuing your kids!
Our assigned priorities are still the same as they were for Adam. 1. Willingly Obey God. 2. Work to do. 3. Woman to love.
c. Boundaries
Eli’s sons did what they did right in the presence of God and Eli refused to deal with them. He had made a covenant to stand up for what was right and to protect the temple. He refused to deal with them and he refused to provide boundaries!
Many of our greatest regrets in life could probably have been avoided if we had put guardrails in place."
You need guardrails because culture’s gravitational pull is toward the very edge!
If you don’t establish guardrails in your life and in the lives of your children you will find yourself in the position that Eli’s daughter in law did. On the news of the death of Eli’s son and Eli she gave birth and called the son – Ichabod which means “the glory’s gone”. Guardrails and boundaries keep the glory in the house. No discipline leads to destruction!
Some of you need to set some boundaries today with your time, your job, relationships, your computer, the TV, etc. We are going to help you with this.
You had better set up some boundaries or you had better be prepared to clean up a lot of debris. You can guard now or crash later! What is or isn’t acceptable in your home? What is or isn’t acceptable in your walk? What convictions should you pass on to your kids? What are the absolutes have you agreed upon with your wife?
Eli followed the example of Adam – no discipline in family. He didn’t help his kids/wife make good decisions. He didn’t have his priorities right. He didn’t set any boundaries and like Adam his family ruptures and his kids die.
We have got to get it right men! We have to do our home work!
HOMEWORK
If we were honest most of us would admit that we worked harder to obtain than we have to sustain/maintain! It isn’t enough to just win you must also keep! It is time to go to work!
Your home work this week is to try to live up to Ephesians 5:25:
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.
No apathy in this statement. There is work in this statement. Men are you ready to go all out in your love for you wives and kids? Let’s see. The greatest thing you can provide for your family is trust. We are going to help you do that and at the same time speak to the discipline in decisions, priorities, and boundaries.
Today we are providing you the opportunity men to sign up for Covenant Eyes! It is a great program that simply runs in the background of your computer or smart phone that tracks where you are spending your time online. It sends a weekly report to an accountability partner of your choice (someone who will call you on objectionable material or see that you are spending more time with a computer than you are with your family)! I want you to know that I am signed up and our leadership team is signed up already. Some of you are thinking I can’t afford this. This program is normally $9 a month. We have set up a deal through the church where you can get a full year of this for $24 (normally $108). All we need from you is $2 a month and your email address and then you will select an accountability partner! It is time to man up. Avoid the very appearance of evil. Women, honestly how many of you have ever wondered what your man is looking at online? Trust and security is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your woman and a great lesson for your kids! It is time to live transparently so that our families can live with no doubt! Besides the costs of concealment are far greater than the costs of confession!
Prayer for all men!
Let’s work like the men God has called us to be!
