PARENTS
Calvary Baptist Church
June 1, 2003
We hear government or school officials say, "It all begins at home." We hear pastors say, "It all begins at home." But where do parents begin at home? We need men and women, but God only gives us boys and girls.Let’s look in the Bible for timeless advice.
Keywords: Parents, Child Rearing, Family, Training,
This is message number four of six on the family, beginning with mothers day and ending on Father’s day.
HUMOR: John Ortberg asks, Who has greater contentment, a man with seven children or a man with seven million dollars? Answer: The man with seven children, because he doesn’t want any more.
TEXT: Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
* The teacher is the parent. The ultimate responsibility is to the father (Fathers . . . nurture).
* The student is your child.
* The school is every opportunity throughout all of life!
INTRODUCTION:
* In 1950, 80% of children grew up with both parents. Today, less than 50% do so.
* In 1950, fewer than 20% of children needed child care services. Today, it is 60%.
* In 1950, the divorce rate was 20%. Today it is over 50%.
ILLUS: At OCC, I saw parents who dropped off children at 6:30, breakfast in hand, and picked them up at 6:00, supper in a bag. Sadly, there would often be department store packages in the back seat. The world may not want me to meddle in its affairs, and you may not either. But someone has to speak up for our children! I wonder if there are any who are ready to return to God’s way.
BODY OF THE MESSAGE:
If we are to train our children we must . . .
T TIME
It takes time to be a parent.
ILLUS: Parents are told to train up a child. (Prov. 22:6)
Parents are told to teach their children. (Deut. 6)
Parents are told to nurture, admonish, bring them up. (Eph. 6:4)
These things cannot be done by proxy.
Very little real education takes place when the substitute teacher is in place!
You may not be much, but there is no substitute for YOU!
And there are some things that you need to take time for.
1) Worship
2) Homework Help
3) Fun Time
4) Down Time
5) Listening Time
6) Vacation Time
I have a book called The Last Sayings of Saints and Sinners. I’ve never heard of a man on his deathbed wishing he had put in more overtime!
QUOTE: “You make your own schedule.”
ILLUS: The first microwave ovens. Example, 1955 restaurant model in the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit, Michigan. We all have microwaves today. Yet we have scheduled ourselves in such a way that we drum our fingers impatiently waiting on the fastest cooking device the world has ever known.
R RESTRAINT
HUMOR: Condensed version of"My Mama Taught Me."
1 Samuel 3:12 13 In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. [13] For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.
Discipline
1 Kings 1:5 6 Then Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king: and he prepared him chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. [6] And his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so? and he also was a very goodly man; and his mother bare him after Absalom. [I.e., with the death of his half brothers, he was in line for the throne].
Disobedience is never cute!
Spanking
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
ILLUS: Ma Barker and her four boys, the Barker Gang.
This gang, consisting of a mother and her sons, terrorized America in the 1930’s. It all started when Ma Barker failed to discipline her boys. She would talk them out of trouble at school, pay them out of trouble in the neighborhood. When the cost of paying them out of trouble became too great, the entire family became a criminal gang.
A AUTHORITY
We must teach our children the biblical and time-honored custom of respect.
1) Respect for Self
2) Respect for Siblings
3) Respect for Superiors
1 Peter 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
Luke 14:10 But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.
Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
1 Tim. 5:1 2 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; [2] The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Don’t let them interrupt adults.
Yes mam, no mam, etc.
Thank you, please.
NOTE: If one is not trained to respect others, he will never learn to respect God! It is through respect and obedience to parents that we learn to respect and obey God!
I INVOLVED
We must be involved in order to fulfill the biblical mandate to"Train,""teach,""nurture,""admonish."
1 Samuel 3:12 13 In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. [13] For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.
NOTE: You are actually speaking on the subject of"Inspect," but involved sounds nicer.
1. In Your Children’s Social Life
Activities (People, place, plan)
Friends
2. In Your Children’s Spiritual Life
• Devotions
• Church attendance
HUMOR: A church in Florida had been having monthly family events for the whole community in an effort to reach new people. They were having a problem,
however, with some parents dropping off children but not coming themselves. To combat this problem, they issued the following announcement: "’The Magic of
Lassie,’ a film for the whole family, will be shown Sunday at 5 P.M. in the church hall. Free puppies will be given to all children not accompanied by parents."
3. In Your Children’s Home Life
• Computer
• Phone (Privacy, not secrecy)
• Music
• Room
4. In Your Child’s School Life
• Homework
• Discipline
• Friends
• Behavior
• Moods
N NURTURE
Ephes. 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
A. PROVOKE NOT
• For every God ordained endowment of authority, there is a Hell ordained abuse of that authority.
• The King can become a tyrant.
• The husband can become a military sergeant.
• The parent can provoke his/her children to wrath.
HOW DO WE PROVOKE OUR CHILDREN?
1. Inconsistency
Like that Pharisees we want others to line up to our rules, but do not do so ourselves!
2. Inconsideration
We do not listen to our children, ask what they are facing. What may seem trivial to you now, tore you out of the frame when you were your child’s age.
HUMOR: A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.
Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn’t waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly between the ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
3. Inattention (NEGLECT)
It is a sin to have your children at the daycare all day so that you can work and at the baby sitter all night so that you can play!
4. Inflexibility
• If there is a good rule, explain it.
• If there is a bad rule, eliminate it.
QUOTE: Children must be taught that it is not because I said so, it is because God said so. Your authority is derived authority.
5. Indignation
We must be careful. Which one of us do not become frustrated and angry. But we are the adults!
NOTE: When we provoke to anger, the anger may be immediate but it may be delayed.
B. NURTURE AND ADMONISH
Some of us think that "nurture" means to do what a hen does with an egg. Keep it warm, protect it from danger, keep it near mama.
I want to show you what that word nurture means. The word nurture in our text is taken from the Greek word Paideeia. It means, "Tutorage, i.e., education or
training: by disciplinary correction; chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture. To train up a child, i.e., educate, or discipline by punishment:
Cchasten, instruct, learn, teach." To bring up your child in the "nurture of the Lord" means to train them by disciplinary correction. It means to educate a
child by discipline or punishment. How many people realize that that is what the word nurture means? It is very important we understand this.
The word admonition in our text is taken from the word nouthesia. In the Greek it means, "calling attention to, i.e., mild rebuke or warning; admonition. It means calling attention to the Word of God." In other words, "in the admonition of the Lord" means calling attention to the Word of God.
This is our #1 duty.
1. Encouragement
Give them every opportunity to do right.
• Church
• Sunday School
• Youth Group
• Youth Revivals
• Vacation Bible School
• CHRISTIAN camp!!!
2 Tim. 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ
Jesus.
ILLUS: One of the reasons that I love having my children in Oakwood Christian School is that by the time they graduate, they will have had 4,000 hours of formal Bible instruction.
2. Exhortation
That is exactly what the word"admonition" means. See definition above.
Deut. 6:6 7 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: [7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt
talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
3. Example
2 Tim. 1:5 When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am
persuaded that in thee also.
2 Tim. 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ
Jesus.
CONCLUSION:
Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and
judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
Psalm 78:1 6 Maschil of Asaph. Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. [2] I will open my mouth in a parable: I will
utter dark sayings of old: [3] Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. [4] We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the
generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. [5] For he established a testimony in Jacob, and
appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: [6] That the generation to come might know
them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:
