Basic Outline:
I. Peter's Discussion about Believing Wives' Conduct (1-4)
II. Peter's Appeal to Daughters of Sarah (5-6)
III. Peter's Direct (and Sobering) Warning to Believing Husbands (7)
Application
Text: 1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel --
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Paul's advice to husbands and wives: Ephesians 5:22-33
Peter's advice to husbands and wives: 1 Peter 3:1-7
Paul's main idea:
Man is the head of the wife: Picture of Christ as the head of the Church (His bride)
Men: Sacrificial love
Women: Respectful submission
Peter's main idea:
The woman needs to honor and respect her husband, him being responsible over both
Men: Treat her well and gently
Women: Submission with a gentle conduct and pure heart
Peter's section is couched in more of a behavioral section. He is concerned that Christians are going to hold the name of Jesus high, despite how they will be treated. Part of this relates to lifestyle -- how we live. But as we will see in this text, both come to the same main conclusions, as well as focus on the same motivations in living for Jesus. Before we go further, let's open in prayer.
Opening Prayer
I. Peter's Discussion about Believing Wives' Conduct (1-4)
"EVEN IF"
- There are a bunch of 'even if' ideas, and two direct clauses as such in the middle of this book:
Even if…your husband does not obey the Word... (3:1)
Even if…you should suffer for righteousness' sake… (3:14)
Same idea throughout: Live your life in a pure manner. Our focus needs to be on God -- we need to seek to please Him in all things and give no excuse for ill repute.
Key idea: The importance of a good testimony. We shine Jesus' glory through a clean testimony. It should not be a matter of legalism, where we rejoice in our own self-righteousness, but when we are right before God, we can rejoice in His preservation of us through every temptation and be an example to those who may come to know Jesus.
Stumbling block: I'm sure you can name tons of pastors and so-called representatives of the faith who have fallen into treacherous public sin. How many times have you talked to someone outside of belief who has cited one of these men as their excuse not to believe in Jesus? In many street evangelism trips and emails, I've seen this as a huge barrier to get over even from the get-go. Those who have tarnished public records are often used by the enemy to turn others away from hope in Jesus. It's very unfortunate, but our duty is to keep a clean testimony, where despite our errors which WILL take place, others can see that we're striving more and more to be like Christ.
Basic points from Peter to wives:
Wives -- be submissive
By your conduct, win them over
This has been the whole argument of Peter in this conduct section -- live lives that are pleasing to God. If you are persecuted, then you will be blessed since you have been blameless before God.
Jesus did say -- blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake --
Matthew 5:11-12
11 "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.
12 "Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Think of Stephen in Acts. He was stoned to death as he told them how everything in the Hebrew Bible pointed to Jesus, the Messiah, and how the people were guilty of crucifying Him. As the text states:
Acts 6:15 - And all who sat in the council, looking steadfastly at him, saw his face as the face of an angel.
The purity of Stephen shone through as God gave him the message to speak. If people are mad at you, make sure that it's not because you're doing evil! This goes for us as believers, and here, for believing wives specifically, who need to focus on honoring God in their marriage relationship.
How else should Christian wives live, especially with a non-Christian husband?
Chaste (a`gno,j) - Pure, sacred
Fear - Reverence, honor
Inward - Not showy
Gentle & Quiet Spirit - Humble
"Hidden person of the heart" - The innermost depth of your being, that which is secret, but what God values (called "incorruptible"). Wives need to strive to be meek! Not gawdy or prideful or loud or obnoxious. But gentle, kind, and sweet.
II. Peter's Appeal to Daughters of Sarah (5-6)
Peter makes an appeal in verses 5-6: The wives of the patriarchs respected their husbands
Peter's essential argument --
- Women: you should model ourselves after women of faith!
- Implicit: You, by faith, are her daughters
Sarah:
- Submissive
- Called him 'lord'/'master'
○ Not replacing YHVH for her husband. i.e. Wives are not supposed to bow down and worship their husbands.
○ Showing him due honor, and respecting him as head of the family.
So just as Sarah:
- Let your conduct be pure
- Be respectful to your husband
- Serve as an example to them
- Be firm in what you believe and do not sway even in the face of persecution
Don't be "terrified" -- 'afraid with horror'. Wives are to 'fear' their husband (same term), but not 'fearful with terror'.
- Perhaps Peter here is talking about unbelieving husbands -- that even when they threaten you for your faith in Jesus, you do not cave in.
- Perhaps also Peter is discussing the fear of falling into sin and thus presenting a bad example of a Christian.
- At the very least, Peter is saying that good conduct and honor should not come out of abusive terror or fear of what the husband might do.
III. Peter's Direct (and Sobering) Warning to Believing Husbands (7)
Husbands:
- Be understanding
- Give honor to your wife
§ "Weaker" vessel - more fair, more gentle, less powerful in strength
§ She may be 'weaker' physically, but she is 'equal' in sharing in the inheritance of eternal life through Jesus (so treat her well!)
Women are built differently from men
Application: Men -- be gentle to them and take care of them! Otherwise, the drawback is huge:
- OR ELSE YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE HINDERED
That is a very scary warning! As men, we need to take this very seriously!
Essentially: Happy wife, happy life. It's treacherous to be on any unfavorable side of God.
Problems that men encounter in lack of balance:
- Passivity
- Aggressiveness
Passivity: Just as Adam stood by Eve and let her take the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil, men still have problems with passivity. Men are not to dominate wives oppressively. They are to lead and set direction for the family. This often requires the man to take bold steps of faith, which should be encouraged by the wife.
Aggressiveness: Men can get frustrated and overstep their bounds, ending up angry at their wives in wrong ways. If this is abuse, then it needs to stop! If it is continual anger and frustration, it needs to be worked out!
Men will never make completely perfect decisions, but they can seek God's direction and be led by His voice. Women need to respect this in a marriage and encourage their husbands in living such a life of dependence on God. This is not saying that men need to make all decisions -- they can look to their wives to do many things! But men need to lead the family, and wives need to respect their husbands.
Women also need to avoid being passive or aggressive. When both men and women are out of balance at the same time, it can lead to serious conflict.
Two oxen pulling in different directions won't do any good work! In faith, husband and wife definitely need to be equally yoked, and it helps if they cooperate as a married couple!
Remember that Paul's serious recommendation in 2 Corinthians 6 is that Christian marries Christian. A house divided is a serious problem, so do not seek a divided house if you are looking for a spouse.
How can we apply what Peter has shown us in this passage?
Application
1. Believers as a whole: Live your lives blamelessly, with God as your focus. Even if you are persecuted wrongly, keep honoring to God, and pray for others to be won over to Jesus.
2. Believing Wives: Submit and show respect to your husbands. It's not popular in American culture (and not popular in MOST cultures, either), but it is God's plan and evangelistic picture for the world. Remember, ROLE, not Status!
3. Believing Husbands: SERIOUSLY treat your wives right. Care for them, be gentle and patient with them, and honor them with utmost respect and sacrificial love. This is also crucial, and remember that it has its consequences if you do not follow through!
4. Those who do not yet believe: We would love to talk with you more about Jesus. Come see us during time of prayer if you have any questions about Him or want to commit your life to following Him.
Let us live lives that are above reproach, and lives that are honoring to our Father, who has loved us so much that He has provided Jesus for us. We need Jesus, and in all relationships, we need to honor Him. Let's close in prayer.
Closing Prayer
Bibliography
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
