For Men Only
August 29, 2011
Hi guys it is great to speak to all of you again. My e mail to you today is to encourage you. But in order to encourage you I also want you to have the tools in this life to succeed. I get a lot of prayer requests and e mails from wives. Their number one issue is
“Please pray that my husband would be the spiritual leader of our home.”
OK some of you are thinking, “Brad I thought you were going to encourage me”. Just hang on. The reason a lot of us have conflict with our spouse is that we have different love languages. For awhile I felt that when I did the dishes, cooked diner, cleaned the house that was all I needed to do for my wife Julie. Now that is what I thought. Of course I never spoke to Julie on what she thought. Her love language is for me to sit down and actually talk to her without looking at my computer or Blackberry. If I can talk to her and actually look like I am interested then she feels secure in our relationship. So I could clean till the floor is spotless but that doesn’t matter to her. Don’t get me wrong, she views that as a nice gesture but not love.
Trying to fix things - GUYS don’t do it – Just listen! Have you ever listened to your wife talk about a problem and we are ready on the attack to say what she should and shouldn’t do. We think we are doing her a favor by giving her such sound advice. But how many times have you heard from your wife “I don’t want the answer I just want you to listen to me”?
A lot of times we are lost when it comes to being the head of our household. We think that if we work long hours and bring home the paycheck then that is enough. But in reality our wife and children desire our time more than money. I know we need to earn a living but let is temper that with TIME. It is easier for us as men to throw money at a problem. Many people would rather give to missions than go on a mission trip. It hurts to go on a mission trip. We would rather give money to our kids to go to a G movie instead of going to the G movie with our kids. It is easier to stay at work than go home and be engaged with our family.
The only way we are going to do this better is through prayer. I cannot give you an answer on what you should do because each situation is different. But God can. Last week we did a series on Prayer. But still a lot of us have a hard time praying. We don’t see it as effective because we cannot gauge it like a business deal. A business deal is gauged by profit and loss. A lot of times in prayer we have to wait. Waiting for men is torture. Shopping is brutal for most men. We know what we want before we even go in to a mall. We shoot it; drag it out and drive home, mission accomplished. Our wives could find the perfect thing the first second in the store but they still have to look. And they don’t look fast but SLOWLY. Then they go back to wherever they originally were and sometimes they are “Catch and Release”. They just want to look. Yes we are wired differently. But God has called us to love our wives as Christ has loved the church. Ouch!!
Below is a book called “A Praying Life”.
http://www.christianbook.com/a-praying-life-paul-miller/9781600063008/pd/063008?item_code=WW&netp_id=589626&event=ESRCQ&view=details
I would ask that you purchase this book and that you really pray for discipline to pray. God will give us His discipline when we ask for it. Prayer is discipline because most of the time we need to wait for the outcome. Waiting is tough especially for us. But prayer is powerful. If your are serious about loving your wife as Christ lived the church then you will take steps to be closer to Jesus. Prayer is how we speak to Jesus.
Guys, it is tough out there. Many of you e mail in how you are addicted to alcohol, masturbation, prescription drugs and other deceptive tools that Satan uses to try to trap us. But God is much bigger. A lot of you are also so tired that you feel you can’t move or are too tired to even try. Please pray this prayer with me.
“Lord, I want to do better as the man you created me to be. Please forgive me for the sin in my life and restore joy to my soul. Please give me your hope instead of me letting the evil one feed me a lie. Sometimes I just need to know how to pray Jesus. I want to but I desperately need your help. Please Jesus protect me from the evil ones schemes. Please help me to not look or think about other women other than my wife. Lord help me to feel your love for me. And Lord please then help me to love my wife and my children as you have shown me to love. I finally realize that I cannot do this alone. I need your help.” Amen
We are never going to get it right here on earth but we can get better. Mark today’s date down as the day you struck a line in the sand and decided to fight for your spouse, your family and your relationship with Jesus. Don’t let the devil get a foothold again. You can win in the name and power of Jesus, our Savior.
Have a great day guys and never be afraid to ask for help.
Brad
