Our church says: “We define marriage as a life covenant between one man and one woman according to the Scripture.” We have talked about the nature of marriage as we looked to verses 3-6. Next, we considered what Jesus said about the difficulty of marriage and about divorce in verses 7-10. Now, let’s focus on what Jesus says about the exception to marriage in verses 11 and 12.
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C. The exception to marriage - vs. 11-12
Jesus says some are exempted from marriage. They are “eunuchs.” The Greek word, “eunouchos,” means “One who goes to bed alone.” Dr. Spiros Zodhiates says a eunuch is “one who either demonstrates no sexual desire or who voluntarily does not engage in sex.” Jesus says some are born with no desire for sex; others are made that way (by castration); and some are eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom.
Now, let’s address the “elephant in the room.” One reason why our church felt it necessary to define marriage in our confession of faith has to do with the rising acceptance of same sex marriage in our culture.
I heard on the radio the other day how an online organization called “Change.org” had started a petition, which had been signed by more that 5,400 people, calling for the Sesame Street characters, Bert and Ernie to get married in order to teach tolerance to children toward people who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transsexual. Sesame Street has graciously declined.
This is becoming a bigger issue in our day, and partly for that reason, our church felt it necessary to define what we believe the Bible says about marriage. My hope is to clarify things even further.
Let me first say that as citizens of this wonderful country where we have the opportunity to vote and give input to our laws and policies, we, as Christians, have an obligation before God to seek to influence our nation toward righteousness (Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-17).
But today’s message is not about political activism. Our focus today is on how to respond to people we know who have “come out of the closet” and admitted to having same sex attraction. I believe Paul tells us what the response of the mature Christian and what the response of a mature church should be.
"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." - Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) - read together
With respect to the issue of homosexuality, I am afraid that the American church has not always been Christ-like. If we are to be like Christ regarding this issue, then we must speak the truth in love. But what has happened is that either truth has been emphasized at the
expense of love; or love has been emphasized at the expense of truth.
Scripture is clear about homosexuality. Leviticus 18:22 and Romans 1:24-27 teach that to live a homosexual lifestyle is to commit sin.
1) But some emphasize this truth at the expense of love.
An example is Westboro Baptist Church, who protest at the funerals of service men and women who have died in combat, with signs that say terrible things, insisting that the one being buried was killed as part of God’s judgment on our nation because of the rise of homosexuality.
I’m sure no one here agrees with their approach. I’m sure you agree with me that they are an embarrassment to the cause of Christ. But as much as I abhor their tactics, the thought occurred to me, “Do I find Westboro Baptist Church’s protest abhorrent for biblical reasons or for patriotic reasons?” I believe we all have some soul-searching to do. It is fine to be a patriot and object on that basis, but we should also object to their non-biblical approach toward the issue of homosexuality.
2) Some emphasize love at the expense of truth.
On the other hand are churches who, in the name of love, have sought to downplay the clarity of Scripture on this issue. They have chosen to value “tolerance” more than truth. They insist the passages referred to earlier are speaking of something other than a monogamy between two people of the same sex. So they say that accepting same sex marriage is the “Christian” and loving thing to do.
Such a conclusion is intellectually dishonest about what the Bible says. The Bible clearly says that sex is only honorable between a man and a woman within the context of a marriage covenant relationship (vs. 4-6).
3) We want to emphasize the truth in love.
We can love the homosexual without having to prove it by accepting same sex marriage just like we can love the alcoholic without having to buy them a drink. But as we think about this today, I want you to know that I do not have a faceless group of people in mind as I speak to you. I’m thinking of teenagers, college students and other singles who have come asking advice on how to deal with feelings of same sex attraction.
I am thinking of a family man, married over 25 years, who faithfully attended Sunday School and worship every Sunday, who shared about his struggle with addiction to homosexual pornography. I am thinking of two folks, who I knew several years before being their pastor, who shared a letter written by their oldest son, who confessed to being gay.
Folks, a statement in our confession of faith is a good thing, but it is not all we must be prepared to do as Christians or as a church. We must stand firm on God’s Word, but we must also firmly reflect God’s heart. To do this, we must understand that while homosexuality is sin, it is not a special category of sin!
When I visited with the couple I mentioned earlier, I encouraged them to maintain their relationship with their son and to affirm their love for him no matter what, while also conveying their disagreement with his lifestyle choice. I then asked how his siblings had reacted to the news. They said his younger brother had simply shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
But his teenage sister blurted out, “Oh no! This means he isn’t going to heaven!” Let’s think about this for a moment.
Can I be a saved and have homosexual desires? Yes. Just as I can be saved and have other sinful desires. Can I be saved and give in to homosexual desires? Yes. Just I can be saved give in to other sinful desires. Can I be saved and give myself without a twinge of guilt to a homosexual lifestyle? Can I be saved and give myself without a twinge of guilt to any other sinful lifestyle? What does the Scripture say?
"People conceived and brought into life by God don’t make a practice of sin. How could they? God’s seed is deep within them, making them who they are. It’s not in the nature of the God-begotten to practice and parade sin." - 1 John 3:9 (The Message) - read together
One who is truly saved will struggle and be convicted about any sinful desire, including homosexual desires. In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul says it is right for the church to hold a professed believer accountable and encourage him toward righteous living. But he says this concerning our responsibility toward those who are not professed believers:
“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?” - 1 Corinthians 5:12 (NIV)
We shouldn’t be surprised when those who don’t know Christ live like those who don’t know Christ. But we should expect those who profess to know Christ to live like those who know Christ.
Let’s apply this principle to our topic for today. What is our obligation toward unbelievers who practice homosexuality? It is to pray for them and encourage them to come to Christ. As the old saying goes, “first you focus on catching the fish, then you focus on cleaning it.”
What of those who say they know Christ but struggle with homosexual desires? We are pray for them and encourage them to live for Christ.
What’s the opposite of homosexuality? Heterosexuality? No. Holiness. Through pursuing holiness, a believer can be delivered from the sin of homosexuality, just as they can from any other sin, including heterosexual sins. All Christians are called to a “holy sexuality.”
Christopher Yuan, in his book co-authored with his mother, Out Of A Far Country, shares about how God saved him and called him from a life of homosexuality. He tried monogamous relationships with no success, then got involved in the gay party scene, got involved with drugs, then sold drugs, and eventually ended up in prison, where he learned he was HIV positive and found Christ. He began to lead Bible studies and even preached, feeling God’s call. When scheduled to be released, he went to the prison chaplain for guidance. The chaplain tried to persuade him that he could still honor God honoring while practicing homosexuality, but he had studied the Bible too much in prison to accept that. He chose to look to the Bible himself for answers and discovered the idea of “holy sexuality.”
He explains “holy sexuality” this way: “Holy sexuality means one of two scenarios. The first scenario is marriage. God calls married people to focus all their sexual feelings and behaviors exclusively toward their spouse. The second scenario is singleness. Single people must devote themselves to complete faithfulness to the Lord through celibacy. Holy sexuality doesn’t mean that I no longer have any sexual feelings or attractions, but the question is, “will I still be willing to follow Christ no matter what?”
Today, he is an adjunct professor with Moody Bible. He’s often asked if he thinks he will ever get married. He replies that he doesn’t have any attraction to women, so he doubts it. He is content to live as a eunuch “for the sake of the kingdom.” However, he adds, God doesn’t have to give him an attraction to women, just one woman.
Whether we are is single or married, whether we struggle with the sin of homosexuality or some other sin, whether we are happily married or divorced, the question all believers must answer is “am I willing to follow Christ no matter what?”
