STOP FEELING GUILTY
PSALM 51 & PSALM 32
INTRODUCTION
The movie “Saving Private Ryan” (1998) is a movie that many of us have seen and is quite a memorable movie because of its portrayal of the D Day invasion of Normandy in World War II. The movie begins and ends with an elderly man visiting the Normandy memorial. The elderly man flashes back to World War II where the majority of the movie takes place. The movie is about the search for the last brother of a family, Private Ryan, and the heroics that it takes to get him home safely. One by one the characters who have sought out this young man die. Towards the end of the movie, Tom Hanks’ character, as he dies, instructs Private Ryan to live his life to the fullest and to earn the life that was paid with by others. The end of the movie shows elderly Ryan surrounded by his children and grandchildren. Guilt is paramount on his face as he wonders if his life and the way he lived it earned meaning for the deaths of the men who died so that he might live. The guilt of their deaths weighed heavy on his heart his whole life.
ILLUSTRATION… Meier and Minirth, Introduction to Psychology and Counseling, pg 244
“True guilt is the uncomfortable inner awareness that we have violated God’s moral law. [For the Christian], true guilt is produced partly by the conviction of God’s Holy Spirit and partly by our own conscience.”
Guilt is one of those emotions that come from a variety of sources and is not an emotion easily conquered. It is a bitter stream that can begin with failure, sin, abuse, harsh words, mistakes, accidents, and a whole host of other issues. Guilt is often times a feeling in our gut peppered with shame, anger, bitterness, loss, sin, helplessness, and so many other hurtful elements.
There are several passages in the Bible where guilt plays a major role. We have just finished looking at the life of Joseph and certainly his brothers dealt with guilt over selling Joseph into slavery (Genesis 50). The priest Eli in 1 Samuel 3 had much guilt to deal with over the actions and attitudes of his wayward priest sons. Peter felt immediate guilt after denying Jesus three times (Matthew 26). Certainly Judas Iscariot felt guilty as he hung himself after betraying Jesus (Matthew 27). You can probably name other passages. All of these would be worthy to look at this morning, but we need one where we can hear about the heart of the person dealing with the guilt. We all deal with guilt and we need an inside look at it to help us understand guilt and how to get rid of it.
2 Samuel 11 records life changing chain of events in the life of King David which leads to guilt. The chain of events includes lust, deceitfulness, manipulation, murder, adultery… all of which end in guilt. In 2 Samuel 12, Nathan the prophet confronts David with the filthiness of his sin and points directly at him.
David you are an adulterer!
David you are a murderer!
All of that is important, but it is David’s record of Psalm 51 which is his diary of sorts on how he dealt with that guilt. David’s wrote his heart down on paper and we have it recorded in Scripture for us. All of us deal with guilt from many different streams in our lives. We can learn from David how to deal with guilt how to stop feeling guilty.
I. THE REALIZATION OF GUILT (verses 1-5)
READ PSALM 51:1-5
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”
David begins Psalm 51 by realizing the source of his guilt. David had been trying to keep his sin hidden and then Nathan the prophet pointed out all of his sin. Numbers 32:23 rang true in King David’s ears that “your sin will find you out.”
David calls what he did by its correct names. It was a series of transgressions. His actions had led to iniquity. He sinned. All three of those words: “transgression,” “iniquity,” and “sin” show us that David knows that what he did was perverse in God’s sight and that it has separated him from God. The guilt he feels is a result of his sin. David owns up to his sin in 2 Samuel 12:13 when he tells Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Yet, Psalm 51 shares with us that David understood how far reaching his sin actually was. David had indeed sinned against God. But he also transgressed against three others and probably more. He had made his position as God’s King of Israel a soiled thing (2 Samuel 12:14). His sin was deep and wide and far reaching.
One of the first steps in stopping guilt and overcoming the sins in our lives is to call it what it is and own up to it. As long as our sin remains hidden or unrepentant or blamed on others or closed to our conscience, guilt can have its way with us.
ILLUSTRATION… http://processcoaching.com/judgment.html
The easiest way to deal with feelings infected with guilt has been to deny the feelings. For many of us this has been crucial to maintaining self-esteem and keeping our optimism high enough to go on with life. The problem with this is that denied feelings don't go away, they submerge and stay unconscious. This creates an opening for guilt to grow in hidden places. Denial is only a coping mechanism. Real healing can come only when the feelings are felt and the guilt is confronted and removed.
ILLUSTRATION… http://www.sermonillustrations.com/a-z/g/guilt.htm
There is a story about a little boy visiting his grandparents and was given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma's back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck fell dead. The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to look up and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch that day, Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn't you, Johnny?" And she whispered to him, "Remember the duck!" So Johnny did the dishes.
Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, "I'm sorry, but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally smiled and said, "That's all taken care of. Johnny wants to do it." Again she whispered, "Remember the duck." Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, finally he couldn't stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he'd killed the duck. "I know, Johnny," she said, giving him a hug. "I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you. I wondered how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.”
The little boy kept his sin hidden, or he thought. Guilt had him as long as he tried to keep it hidden. Only by facing it could the process of removing the guilt begin.
II. THE REPENTANCE FROM GUILT (verses 6-11)
READ PSALM 51:6-11
“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.”
David continues in Psalm 51 by not only realizing his guilt but also repenting of the chain of events that got him to his guilty situation. One of the most vivid pictures David uses is that he asks God to “cleanse me with hyssop” (verse 7). The hyssop plant was used in Leviticus and in Exodus as part of the sin purification rituals. The priests would dip the hyssop plant in the sacrificial blood and wipe it on the item or person needing to be purified. In doing some reading, I noticed that hyssop has been found in more modern times to have anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, and other benefits that help heal a person. The whole scientific purpose and religious purpose of hyssop is to cure and purify.
* David is repenting and asking God to heal him and cleanse him.
David continues in Psalm 51 by also talking about returning to God’s presence. David realizes that sin separates him from God. Only repentance can pave his way back to God. Without repentance, David is still away from the presence of God and cannot feel His Spirit. David desires to move back to God.
* David is repenting and asking God to allow him to make right choices and make changes.
ILLUSTRATION… http://www.helium.com/items/663197-short-stories-repentance
I want to share with you a small auto-biographical story that I believe illustrates the type of repentant heart needed to continue in getting rid of guilt.
She had always been a good girl so finding herself in this place was unimaginable to her. How was she going to survive this? She came into the facility only an hour ago and was locked in a single room with six other women. As she looked around she became more and more frightened. This isn't where she belonged. Her mother never taught her how to survive in jail. How could the judge have sentenced her to time in this place? Did he really feel that a non-violent, first time offense deserved this? Here she was though, for six long months. She started counting the days the minute that she walked in the doors.
She longed to be free again, wanting to hold her children in her arms. Everything she had ever done, she did for them. She never imagined in her wildest dreams that they would have to come visit her here. She made up her mind to stay to herself. She wouldn't even go to most meals, only enough to survive on. She listened to the other women talk about their lives. It appeared to her that they didn't mind being there so much. In fact, they came back time and again. The food was terrible, you didn't have any privacy, you were at risk to get diseases and you couldn't even wear your own clothes. Why do they keep coming back for more?
She vowed to herself that she would get out of there as soon as possible. Once she did, she would never go back. She would rather die than to be back in that place. She was put in the work release program and found it much easier to deal with since she could get out into the real world for a few hours a day. When she came back to the "facility" she slept and did her job cleaning the bathrooms. This earned her early time out. She also took classes which earned early time out and she earned every single day she could on good behavior.
She was given another hearing in front of the judge. If it worked out, she would be free to go home that day. Four months into her sentence. She was about to go over the edge if she didn't get out soon. All of her family showed up to that hearing. The judge listened carefully as she spoke of her experience in jail. She told him about how she had originally felt she didn't belong there because those people had serious problems. She didn't drink much and she didn't do drugs. She certainly didn't sell her body for money. She told him how she came to the realization that although she didn't do any of those things she had another kind of problem. That problem was that she couldn't tell her kids no. She had gotten herself into financial troubles because of it and only saw one way out… to steal money. She revealed to him that she was so sorry for what she had done wrong. She had learned her lesson and repented for it long ago. He would never find her in his courtroom again if he would just let her go home to her family today.
The judge believed her. He let her go home that day with her family. She had never felt so free in all her life as when she packed up her things and walked out of that jail. She wanted to shout it out to the world. She never went back to that place. She lived the rest of her life free of crime and thankful for a second chance.
You see, true repentance means that you will go the opposite way of the problem or sin or temptation. If you have a problem with gambling, never driving by a casino again is part of repentance. If you have a difficult marriage situation, keeping yourself from tempting situations with others is part of repentance. I see in David the willingness to change his life so that what happened between he and Bathsheba would never happen to him again. He wanted to live in the presence of God and not do anything to jeopardize that. He wanted God to help him remain “steadfast” (verse 10) when it came to his relationship with God. We need to do that with whatever the root of our guilt is.
III. THE RELEASE OF GUILT (verses 12-19)
READ PSALM 51:12-19
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. 14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar.”
As I look at these heartfelt verses from David, I see him moving down the process of letting go of guilt. He was certainly repentant and did not deny or hide what he had done. He named it for what it was. He then repented of his actions and expressed deeply that he would never find himself in that situation again. He expressed a deep desire to abide with God. Now he is working on releasing himself from the guilt. He did bad things. He is dealing with those bad things and guilt is part of it. Guilt is part of the human conscience. For the Christian, the Holy Spirit augments our conscience and shows us when we sin. One must deal with guilt and release it.
How do we do that? How do we release guilt when the fact of our sin remains in our past? How do we release guilt when at times the other person may not have forgiven us? How do we release from guilt when there may be a constant present reminder of our past transgressions? To be honest, releasing yourself from guilt is one of the hardest emotional journeys any person has to go through. That is my opinion. Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves. Sometimes we forgive ourselves the least. Sometimes we blame ourselves the most. So how to we let go of guilt?
First, in verse 12 David says, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” One of the key steps in letting go of guilt is realizing in our brain and in our hearts that when God forgives us… He completely forgives us and our relationship with Him is restored. Sin is completely blotted out and forgotten (Psalm 51:9). Psalm 103:11-12 shares with us, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” When God forgives, He also restores. It is gone! When we truly repent, any guilt left over is temptation from Satan to keep us mired in ourselves and get off track. One of the greatest lies from the pit of Hell is feeling guilty for something God already forgave you for! Sometimes we are still feeling guilty and God is wondering what for! He paid for it! We dealt with it! He restored us! In fact, Romans 8:1-2 tells us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”
Second in verses 13-15, David says openly that he is willing to share with others about God and about what God has done for Him. Here is where we sometimes get hung up because we don’t want to share the worst parts of ourselves with others and we feel ashamed because of what we have done. We are afraid of people’s opinions about us because of our sin. Part of releasing guilt is helping someone else out who is dealing with the same thing. When we love others and share with others and pray with others, our guilt will unclench its talons from us and let us go.
* Those who dealt with and continue to deal with addictions should help others with the same addictions!
* Those who suffered because of poor money choices should tell others and warn them!
* Those who have felt guilty over sexual sin should make it clear to the next generation the emotional baggage they will create!
* Those who have endured prison because of sinful choices should tell their testimony!
* Those who have wrongfully felt guilty for abuse should watch for signs of such things in others!
The list goes on and on. For King David in verses 13 and 15, he committed himself to pointing out to others the sinfulness of what he had done and warn others not to do the same. For King David in verse 14, he committed himself to writing Psalm 51 and other Psalms so that others might know what to do with their guilt.
* Who do you need to share with?
* What do you need to do?
* When is the appropriate time for you to share your story to encourage someone?
* Where should you be so that God can use you?
* How do you need to prepare to share?
Third in verses 16-19, David lays out his heart before God and he is completely humble. David expresses that he is willing to do what God wants to make everything right. God do you want a sacrifice? You got it. God you want a changed heart? You got it. One of the words that David says as he closes out his Psalm caught my eye. It is the word “contrite.” That is not a word that I use everyday, but it is a word with a lot of meaning nevertheless. The word “contrite” comes from a word that means “to beat” or “to crush” and is used in its most extreme form when it comes to dealing with sin. David’s heart was completely crushed because of his sin and he made the effort in his heart that he would never repeat the sin. This kind of conviction also allows guilt to pass away. When our hearts are crushed and we commit to the Lord that we will never repeat a sin again, guilt has no psychological, emotional, or spiritual hold on us.
CONCLUSION 1
David did not write just one Psalm and he did not write just one Psalm about guilt and forgiveness. Psalm 32 is a special Psalm. When you look in your Bible, the heading for this particular Psalm has the word “maskil” in it. A “maskil” is an instructional song meant to be sung or read and learned from. Also in the Psalm is the word “Selah” which I believe is a word that indicates one should stop and reflect on the words that have just been spoken. This morning, I would like us to do just that. I would like us to read through Psalm 32 together out loud and then we are going to pause at the points in the Psalm when David wants us to pause and reflect.
As we stop and think during this time, think about the guilt that you are perhaps carrying around with you. Look down at your sermon notes and see where you are in the process of letting go of guilt. Let us examine ourselves this morning in light of God’s Word.
READ PSALM 32
Psalm 32:1-11
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2 Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. 3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah
[PAUSE]
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"-- and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
[PAUSE]
6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. 7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah
[PAUSE]
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. 9 Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. 10 Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. 11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!
CONCLUSION 2
