Using the acronym THINK, try to ask these 5 questions before you speak.
T – True
Is it True? Remember this rule about gossip: “The more interesting it is, the more likely it is to be false.”
ILLUS: If I counsel a couple, and listen to only one side and then make my judgment, that would not be very professional. In fact, it would show poor judgment and be downright tacky. I agree. And whenever anyone hears half the story, repeats it to others, gets them all worked up, without ever hearing the other side of the story, that’s pretty tacky.
Psalm 15:2-4 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. 3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour. 4 In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: But they that deal truly are his delight.
John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
NOTE: I am responsible for what I pass along just the same as if I had originated it!
Proverbs 20:19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: Therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore associate not with him who talks too freely.
Proverbs 25:23 The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.
QUOTE: Chuck Swindoll recommends asking, “Can I quote you on that?”
QUOTE: Beth Moore recommends saying, “Here’s what I like about that person. What do you like?”
H – Helpful
Is it Helpful? Will your words help bring about a solution to a problem?
QUOTE: Think First. I know of a young mother who asks her kids a question on a regular basis: “Are your words flames or flowers?” This helps her children realize that they have a choice to make ¬ they can plant beautiful flowers with their words or they can unleash a raging fire. Brian Bill
QUOTE: Someone coined the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever said that could have never been more wrong. Broken bones heal much quicker than the wounds left by an out of control tongue. I know people to this day, and there may those sitting in this room this morning, who are still suffering from the aftermath of a tongue lashing. Rick Adams
Proverbs 16:28 A froward man soweth strife: And a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Ephesians 4:29 (AMP) Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.
I – Inspiring
Is it inspiring? Will your words build up someone?
Proverbs 12:18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: But the tongue of the wise is health.
Proverbs 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: But a good word maketh it glad.
Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
1 Thessalonians 4:18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
Colossians 4:5–6 (KJV 1900) — 5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. 6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
ILLUS: Boy with the birthmark. His dad told him, I’m glad you have that. That’s how I find you in a crowd. The little boy told one man, I feel sorry for people without a birthmark like mine! The father’s words made all the difference.
N – Necessary
Is it Necessary? Do we have to say anything at all?
Psalm 141:3 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; Keep the door of my lips.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: But he that refraineth his lips is wise.
Proverbs 11:12 He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: But a man of understanding holdeth his peace.
Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: But he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Proverbs 13:3 He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: But he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
Ecclesiastes 3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
1 Timothy 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
QUOTE: Calvin Coolidge said, “I have never been hurt by anything I did not say.” COMMENT: I don’t know about that. Failing to say, “Happy Anniversary” might not be good. But with that said, it wouldn’t hurt to hold it back.
QUOTE: There are men who pride themselves on their candor, and it degenerates into brutality. One such man said to John Wesley once, "Mr. Wesley, I pride myself in speaking my mind; that is my talent." "Well," said John Wesley, "the Lord wouldn't mind if you buried that! - Griffith Thomas
ILLUS: Seeing Your Words. I read this week about a woman who had a very serious throat condition. The doctor told her that her vocal cords needed total rest ¬ she was forbidden to talk for 6 months! With a husband and 6 kids, this seemed impossible, but she did what she was told. When she needed the kids she blew a whistle. Whenever she needed to communicate she wrote things on pads of paper.
After six months, her voice came back. When asked what it was like to communicate only in writing, she said this: “You’d be surprised how many notes I crumpled up and threw into the trash before I gave them to anyone. Seeing my words before anyone heard them had an effect that I don’t think I can ever forget.”
King David, after seeing how his words got him in trouble wrote this in Psalm 39:1, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth.” While we might not be able to stop talking for six months, we can learn to talk less by putting a muzzle on the muscle in our mouths. Brian Bill
K – Kind
Is it Kind? Are your words based on a desire to help?
QUOTE: Someone has said that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people. The church that James is writing to was full of small-minded people who gossiped about each other and tore one another apart with their tongues. I wonder if we’re a bit like that church today? Brian Bill
Psalm 12:3 The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, And the tongue that speaketh proud things:
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
Romans 3:13 Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:
Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
ILLUS: Criticism - Remember Those Dogs. A certain unbeliever, a blacksmith, was in the habit when anyone came into his shop of telling some wrong a Christian brother, deacon or minister had done, and saying, "That is one of these fine Christians we hear so much about!"
An old gentleman, an eminent Christian, one day went into the shop. The unbeliever soon began talking about what some Christians had done. The old deacon stood a few minutes and listened, and then quietly asked the unbeliever if he had read the story in the Bible about the rich man and Lazarus.
"Yes, many a time; and what of it?" "Well, you remember about the dogs; how they came and licked the sores of Lazarus? Now," said the deacon, "do you know, you just remind me of those dogs-content to merely lick the Christian's sores."
CONCLUSION:
1. God does not look favorably upon the gossip!
Leviticus 19:16 Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the Lord.
2. An unchecked tongue may reveal an unconverted heart
James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
3. A look into the mouth may reveal heart disease!
ILLUS: Body Screenings. Some of us may need a heart transplant or heart surgery. You’ve got a nasty heart.
Matthew 12:34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
4. God’s recorder is running. The red light is on!
Matthew 12:36–37 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. 37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
5. God will bring secret conversations into the light!
Matthew 10:26 Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.
6. I can save myself a lot of grief.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue Keepeth his soul from troubles.
7. I want to please the Lord in everything.
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
ILLUS: Criticism - Mind That Tongue. John Wesley was preaching. He was wearing a new bow tie with two streamers hanging down from it. There was a sister in the meeting who didn't hear a word about Jesus, but sat with a long face and saw nothing but those two streamers. When the service was over she went up and said, "Pardon me, Mr. Wesley, will you suffer a little criticism?" "Yes," replied Mr. Wesley. "Well," she said, "Mr. Wesley, your bow tie is too long and it is an offense to me." He said, "Have you a pair of shears?" After receiving the shears he handed them to her saying that she would know how they would look best. She reached over and clipped off the streamers. Then he said, "Is that all right now?" "Yes, that is much better." He said, "Do you mind letting me have those shears? Would you mind a little criticism? Your tongue is a great offense to me it is a little too long. Please stick it out while I take some off."
http://apibs.org/illus/criticism.htm
Psalm 39:1 I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle [or muzzle], while the wicked is before me.
