Spiritual Leadership in an Unspiritual World
Last week we began looking at what the Bible says about when a godly man leads his family. This is spiritual leadership at home. When Godly Men Lead their Families, what does that look like and how do we do it?
God calls us to love him and keep his commandments. He commands us brothers who are married to love our wives as Christ loved the church. We noted that men are never more like Christ than when they love their wives as God's word teaches. So brothers, number one in Spiritual Leadership at Home is this: we are to love God by loving our wives. (Eph. 5:25f)
Secondly, we noted that men are to share God's word with our families. We are directly responsible for this. We may not be able to make the decisions about following Christ FOR them, but we can lead our families by sharing the word of God with our wives and children. So again, brothers, number two in Spiritual Leadership at Home is this: we must love God by sharing His word with our families... if we would follow Christ ourselves. There is no indication in scripture that any man can be a Christian husband and father if he does not do this.
For today's lesson let's continue looking at when a godly man leads his family. We are going to talk about sexual purity. Some of you may not comfortable with this subject. All the more reason we need to see what the Bible says about it. Believe me the subject of sexual purity is extreemly biblical. From one end to the other, God's word talks openly about the blessings and benefits of sexual purity and the dangers and consequences of sexual sin. We dare not hide from difficult subjects simply because they are so personal.
How do we promote sexual purity while living in a sexually putrid society. God's word tells us! We start at home! We start with our own hearts and lives before a holy God who speaks strong judgments against the fornicator and the adulterer.
So what does the Bible say? Listen to Hebrews 13: 4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Turn to Matthew 5:27-30
Jesus, our Lord and Master, the Son of God who has all authority in heaven and on earth and who is coming again to judge the living and the dead, Jesus, the Christ, said:
You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery, but I tell you, whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Jesus here addresses not just the physical act of sexual intercourse, but here he speaks to men and specifically warns us that looking at a woman to lust after her is a heart issue that must be dealt with. Jesus knows that physical adultery starts in the heart and as far as men are concerned, it starts with looking at a woman to lust after her.
Nothing could more clearly condemn pornography than this statement. Jesus is so serious about this he gives us further instructions if this viewing pornography is a problem for us. Jesus goes on to say, "If your right eye causes you to sin... look away." Right? No. What did Jesus say? "If your right eye causes you to sin... repent and go pray about it." Right? No, that's not what he said. Jesus said, "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it from you. If is better to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Now, would you not say, THAT is a very serious response to looking at a woman to lust after her? Jesus' words here are shocking when we think about them and take them to heart. What would happen if every man took Jesus words literally and actually performed what he told us to do? How many men would still have two eyes?
These words are what you call going for the jugular. Why is Jesus so strong here? Sexual sin starts with looking to lust, but it doesn't stop there. What happens when you begin feeding your heart with lust is you start a fire burning that will demand more fuel. Jesus would free you from a path that leads to hell for you.
In the book, Every Man's Battle, Steven Arterburn and Fred Stoeker describe the addiction and spiritual battle of sexual temptation and how sexual sin leads steadily but surely toward destruction. Listen to God's word in Proverbs 5:15-23. In fact, if some of you get bored with this message just read Proverbs chapters 5-7. You will get the point.
Perhaps Jesus is thinking about king David. Remember, Jesus is a descendant of David. David was a great king of Israel. He was a man after God's own heart. David was inspired of God to write many of the Psalms and is referred to by Peter in Acts 2:30 as a prophet. David's love for God was rich and strong for most of his life. But after David had been king for some years something happened that caused him to fall into sin and fall hard. Remember? What was it?
Perhaps our immediate thoughts go to Bathsheba. But I would suggest that it started earlier. David, soon after his throne is established over all Israel became a man with many wives. 2 Samuel 5 mentions it almost in passing. In verse 13 the scripture says: After he left Hebron, David took more concubines and wives in Jerusalem, and more sons and daughters were born to him. God's law clearly warned against this in Deut. 17:17. Moses foresaw the day when Israel would have a king and God gave instructions about it saying: he must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray.
Having many wives and concubines didn't satisfy David, actually, God says it led his heart astray. It dulled his heart so that when he saw Bathsheba, David's self control was weak. He looked and lusted and used his authority to get what he wanted. He didn't think of Uriah, Bathsheba's husband. He didn't consider God's law against adultery. His desire was all that mattered and his heart was led astray already by having many wives. Where is sexual fulfillment found? Were David's many wives not enough? No. Having many wives was part of the problem! And notice that David's sin also became an issue that was passed on to his children. Remember his oldest son Amnon? Do you know what he did with his own half sister Tamar? This is the very next story after David's sin with Bathsheba. Sexual sin tends to be passed on. His son Solomon, who was given great wisdom from God, fell because of the same sin. Sexual satisfaction doesn't come from multiple partners. If anything, this only creates dissatisfaction and ruins the very intimacy of relationship and fulfillment that sex is designed by God to generate between a husband and wife.
In creation God made one man and then he made one woman to the man. This is the divine design that God said is very good! Whenever we tamper with how God made things we only mess it up for ourselves and others.
How can we be godly men who lead our families according to God's will regarding sexual purity?
Brothers, first: we must take the lead in our families by being sexually pure ourselves. Let's go back to Jesus' words. If you are looking at pornography or letting your eyes look lustfully at a woman who is not your wife, this is a serious sin that has serious consequences. If you are hooked and can't help but look, Jesus says you'd be better off without your eyes. Do you hear that? Are you willing to accept the truth about that?
Sexual purity in a sexually putrid world starts with trusting Jesus words about ruthless sacrifice and willingness to cut off whatever is causing the sin. Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 6: 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
One of the God designed purposes of marriage is sexual fulfillment. Proverbs 5:15f and 1 Cor. 7:1-9 specifically spell this out. Sexual relationship in marriage is holy! God blesses it and says that it is very good. Outside of marriage sexual relationships are sinful and destructive.
Brothers, the second way we must take the lead in our families is by sharing God's word about this with our children when they are old enough to understand it. I have a handout to use for teaching your sons and daughters about this. There are many, many places in scripture that you can go to discuss this with them. I have selected just a few that are helpful.
Dads and Moms take this and go over it with your children and answer questions they may have about this. Believe me, if you don't answer their questions, someone else will. And the answers from other sources may not be from God's word. Besides, no one loves them more than you do and no one has a greater responsibility than you do here. No one will have to deal with the pain and ruin that sexual sin will bring for your son or daughter than you will. God will bless you for sharing His word with your children. He will bless your children too.
God is able to do more than we ask or imagine. We simply must trust Him and share His word and pray together as families to begin enjoying more of His blessings.
Handout:
Sexual Purity Contract
Hebrews 13: 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
1 Thessalonians 4: 2 For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
6 and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.
8 Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
1 Corinthians 6: 18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
Genesis 1: 26 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
In view of God’s word and because of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for my sins and my commitment to follow his will for my life…
I ____________________________________ promise before God that by his grace I will obey God’s teaching on sexual purity and protect my heart, mind and body from sexual sin.
