Title: Like a Good Neighbor
Text: Proverbs 3:27-35; 4:21
Truth: Wise people relate to their neighbors with helpfulness, peace, justice and kindness.
Aim: To encourage improvement of relationships with others by the practice of Christian virtues.
Life ?: What godly virtues are we to model as Christian neighbors?
INTRODUCTION
Harold Jones was a respected South Carolina football coach in the 1970’s. He put his reputation on the line by extending kindness to an illiterate, mentally challenged young black man. Coach Jones sees him, day after day, pushing a shopping cart filled with simple treasures past the practice field. After his players abuse the poor guy by tying him up and locking him in an equipment shed, Jones becomes more intimately involved in mentoring the boy, who becomes known as Radio (so nicknamed for his passion for radios and Motown music).
Radio lives on the outskirts of town with his loving mother. She describes him as the “same as everybody else, just a bit slower than most.” Coach Jones makes him a team manager. He’s given a place of honor along the sidelines. During home games he whips the crowd up with his contagious enthusiasm. He even begins to attend high school and makes the morning announcements over the PA system.
Some cruel and heartless people mock and try to marginalize Radio rather than understand him or show him compassion. Coach Jones’ loyalty is challenged more than once but he stands his ground. We learn of a time in the coach’s life when he should have helped someone but didn’t. He confesses his regret, but he learned his lesson.
The movie Radio is based on a true story. In the end this coach’s example of helpfulness and kindness changes a whole community in the way they treat people that usually are cast aside. It’s a modern day parable of the “Good Samaritan.” (Colson, 10/23/03; PluggedIn movie review)
We’re told that Coach Jones and James Robert Kennedy are still friends to this day. Coach Jones illustrated the godly virtues we are to model as Christian neighbors. The Bible defines our neighbor as anyone in need that we can help.
Chapter three of Proverbs stresses three major themes: It is wise to trust God (vss. 1-12); it is wise to value wisdom (vss. 13-20); and it is wise to be kind to others (vss. 21-35). This morning we are concentrating on the last part of chapter three.
To improve our relationship with others…
I. BE HELPFUL (PROVERBS 3:27-28)
Proverbs 3:27-31 presents a series of instructions regarding neighborliness. All the instructions are stated negatively. In fact, in the original each verse begins “Do not.” A negative command is clearer than a positive command. Which would be clearer to a small child: “I want you to play in the yard” or “Do not go into the street”?
Bible scholars understand v. 27 in one of two ways. Literally it reads, “Do not withhold good from its owners.” In other words, pay your obligations. In that day a laborer was paid daily. He needed the money to buy food for that day or the next. If a man has worked for us then we owe him the money.
The other way Bible scholars tell us this passage can be understood is to not withhold help from a needy person when we have the means to meet that need. It teaches the general idea of being generous with our neighbor.
Either way we are encouraged to not fail in doing good to others. We are to be helpful to people in need.
Paul said in Galatians 6:10, “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”
Verse 28 stresses doing good to others immediately. The emphasis is not just on immediately meeting the need but the injustice when we can do something and we don’t. In Luke 10 Jesus tells the story of the “Good Samaritan.” The condemnation of the priest and scribe is not just that they didn’t help, but they didn’t help in the critical need of that man at that moment.
A veteran Buffalo, N.Y. police officer found the handwritten note on the ice along with a brown wallet and a baseball cap with a pen stuck through it. The note was short and to the point, “Please tell my parents I’m sorry.” A 48-year-old man in a thin blue jacket, on a cold, March afternoon, had secured the note to the ice and waded into the 33-degree river.
He had stepped into the river at Niagara Falls! The average depth is 16 feet and it flows at 20 mph. Overwrought by massive gambling debts to casinos on both sides of the falls, the man decided there was no other way out. So he got in with the intent of ending his life.
No one saw him get in, but around 4:30 p.m., someone spotted him from the Canadian side of the falls. Somehow, just before he went over the 170-foot falls, he was able to wedge his legs beneath a rock on the ledge.
Sgt. Patrick Moriarty saw him and began the rescue effort. Helicopter attempts to drop a safety ring failed. Police estimate that there is an average of one suicide at Niagara Falls every month. For every successful attempt, they say, many more have second thoughts. Few get a second chance. This man did. More than two hours after the rescue efforts began, he was pulled up the steep, icy bank in the arms of a firefighter. Over and over he kept saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I would do if someone had lost their life for me.”
Few of us will ever be put in such a situation to help a person so desperate. But we might be surprised to know how many people all around us are right on the edge. Not on the edge of Niagara Falls, but they might as well be. Maybe no one has spotted them yet. Maybe no one else knows or understands just how serious their problems are. It’s not that they want to go over the edge. They don’t. But they don’t know if they can keep on going. Then you become aware of them and you can be of some help. Don’t withhold that help and don’t delay. That’s the response of the wise. (Barry Cameron, Crossroads Church)
When I request help to care for children during the worship hour or to drive someone to a doctor’s appointment or to offer to baby-sit a young couple’s children while they go on a date, it is meeting a real need. It is being neighborly. This kind of helpfulness improves relationships among people.
To improve your relationship with others, be helpful. To improve your relationship with others, be peaceful.
II. BE PEACEFUL (PROVERBS 3:29-30)
A wise person not only looks for opportunities to do good, but they also do not plan to intentionally do evil. The word “plot” literally means to plow. Plotting evil against a neighbor is like a farmer who carefully and orderly plows his field into furrows. He’s calling us to be a man of peace. To act maliciously toward our neighbor is to break the trust he has placed in us. In order to be neighborly we must trust one another. It’s a double wrong—the evil act itself and the breach of trust it involves.
A man of peace also refuses to pick a quarrel. Paul listed the qualifications of a pastor in I Timothy 3. One qualification that disqualifies a man from being a pastor is being a “brawler.” This refers to a person who is contentious. Jude 3 tells us to contend for the faith but we are to do it without being antagonistic and argumentative.
Romans 12:18 admonishes us to do what is right and appropriate to live at peace with all people. Proverbs is saying the same thing. Don’t act maliciously toward others and don’t pick fights with people. Be a person of peace.
I can tell this story because one neighbor has died and the other neighbor no longer lives across the street from our church. Our neighbors endured the disruption of their lives as we built on to our church. I’m sure that contributed to their lack of patience with us. We put our dumpster next to the parsonage. We didn’t want it on Rock Creek. It was believed that it would attract others continually filling it up, and it was not the first thing that we wanted people to see when they look at our church. One neighbor had a different point of view. He didn’t like coming out of his front door and looking across the street at a dumpster. He wanted to know what we were going to do.
All the neighbors and some men from our church and myself met at the dumpster. This man was angry. After he’d let off some steam I asked where he recommended we put the dumpster. You know that was a dangerous question. What he wanted was to put it out front on the corner of our property. I said to the group let’s go look at what he’s talking about. I did not want to do this.
I walked with the neighbors and listened to their complaints. When we got out front the man began explaining why it was a good spot. I was thinking of why it was not a good spot. But Music Minister Jim Garling, who’d followed behind and heard the man complain from one end of the property to the other, looked at me and said, “Ed, this will be OK. We can make it work.” As you can see to this day, that’s exactly what we did.
There are shields inside the covers of the outside lights on the west side because the woman who lived across the street at that time was complained that the lights were so bright that it lit up her living room and kitchen. We didn’t have to do any of that. But we’re Christians. We are people of peace. Those were minor actions to do good for our neighbors in order to live at peace with them.
Peacemakers release tension; they don’t intensify it. Peacemakers seek solutions and find no delight in arguments. Peacemakers calm the waters; they don’t trouble them. Peacemakers work hard to keep an offense from occurring. And if it has occurred, they strive for resolution. Peacemakers lower their voice rather than raise their voice. Peacemakers generate light not heat.
One of the manliest qualities Jesus exhibited was peacemaking. Criticized and crucified, Jesus didn’t go to war. He forgave. The man of war comes with a sword, but the peacemaker disarms him and beats it into a ploughshare. The man of war throws his spear; the peacemaker makes it into a pruning hook. Galatians 5:22 says that one of the evidence of a man full of the Holy Spirit is peace. Paul advised that as far as it is possible with you, live at peace with all men.
To improve our relationships be helpful, be peaceful and …
III. BE FAIR (PROVERBS 3:31-35)
The violent man is someone who would hurt another to gain some advantage. A man can be violent and not be physical. He can gossip, cheat, or steal his way to the top.
The man is called “perverse.” It means to choose the wrong path. God detests or abhors this kind of man. But the Lord will be close and intimate with a man who treats others right.
The overriding reason for not hankering after the unscrupulous is that one must choose between following a way that the Lord detests and not growing close in your relationship with the Lord.
Verses 33-35 are a series of contrasts between the unjust and the fair. The destiny of the house of the wicked is to be cursed. The destiny of the man who does right is blessing. God will mock the wicked. A mocker is someone with a chosen attitude that ridicules the things of God. The righteous will be given a greater experience with God and his goodness. The wicked will be displayed for the foolish person he is. But the wise will get what he didn’t seek—honor. He inherits this as a gift from God.
Jacob and Esau were twins. They were raised in the same home and received the same spiritual education. They both grew up to establish dynasties.
Esau founded a house on infidelity, worldliness, and injustice. The people he fathered, the Edomites, became bitter enemies of God and His people. Herod the Great, who massacred the babes of Bethlehem, and who would have murdered the infant Christ if he could, was a descendant of Esau. So was Herod Antipas, who murdered John the Baptist and mocked at Jesus. So was Herod Agrippa I, who murdered James and tried to murder Peter.
Jacob, on the other hand, founded a house on an ever-growing trust in God. Early in life he coveted the blessing of God. His sons became the founders of the twelve tribes of Israel. From his family came a long line of prophets, priests, and kings. Numerous illustrious names fill the honor roles of his family. Moses, the world’s greatest lawgiver, was a member of his family. Jesus, the incarnate Son of the living God, was a descendant of Jacob. In spite of all its faults and failures, the house that Jacob founded has known the blessing of God and will one day know it to the fullest. (Jn Phillips, p.106)
Don’t envy the man who runs roughshod over people and is rich in wealth and power. Treat people fairly and justly. This is what brings God’s blessings.
Martin Luther King, Jr., the great civil rights leader of our country, gave his famous speech “I Have a Dream” in Washington D.C. in 1963. King’s dream was for freedom. The word appears over twenty times in that great speech. But what was the crucial element that produced freedom for all people? It was justice. It was the equal treatment for all.
Let me give you a few samples from his speech of the importance of justice and fairness in relationships:
The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold, which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
An employer who is not concerned with fairness in his relationship with employees will suffer at the bottom-line. Parents who don’t seek to be fair with their children but play favorites will create rebellion in their home. A husband who bullies his wife and children to get his way will suffer for his abuse of fair play. A nation with clogged courts is not a nation of justice but of injustice. Frivolous lawsuits are a sign of those who are plotting evil.
People who are wise in the ways of God when it comes to relationships do all within their power to be fair with others.
Last of all…
IV. BE KIND (PROVERBS 14:21)
According to v. 20, the context is probably referring to poor people. To “despise” is to hold someone in contempt, to belittle him, or to treat him as worthless. Which would you prefer our church to reach, rich people or poor people? Would you rather see little children running through our building wearing the latest fashions or little children who need someone to buy them a pair of good shoes for the coming winter? I know this church’s heart. But sometimes a church loses families and because they are reaching a population that doesn’t look just like them. We must guard against despising our neighbor.
To despise our neighbor is to sin. The word means to miss the mark. Judges 20:16 used this word to describe left-handed men who were so accurate with a sling they didn’t miss the mark. In other words, this attitude falls short of God’s standard of being kind to people.
One of the great movies of all time is based on one of the great books of the 20th century, To Kill a Mockingbird. Maybe you remember the scene where the brother, Jem, warns his sister Scout and friend Dill about Miss Dubose. He says, “Miss Dubose is on her porch. Listen, no matter what she says to you, don’t answer her back. There’s a Confederate pistol in her lap under her shawl, and she’ll kill you quick as look at you.”
Scout can’t resist calling out, “Hey, Miss Dubose!”
Irritated, Miss Dubose yells, “Don’t you say ‘hey’ to me, you ugly girl! You say, ‘Good afternoon, Miss Dubose!’ You come over here when I’m talkin’ to you! You come over here, I said.” Scout keeps walking. She sees her father, Atticus Finch, down the sidewalk, and all three children run up to him. He has seen and heard the whole exchange. He ushers the children back to Miss Dubose’s porch for a lesson in diplomacy.
Atticus says, “Good Afternoon, Miss Dubose! My, you look like a picture this afternoon.” From behind his back Scout whispers, “He don’t say a picture of what.” Her father smacks her to be quiet. “My goodness gracious, look at your flowers. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? Miss Dubose, the gardens at Bellingrath have nothing to compare with your flowers.”
Completely disarmed, Miss Dubose shyly says, “I don’t think they’re as nice as last year.”
Jem whispers, “He gets her to talk about something nice so she gets to be mean.” Atticus slaps at Jem with his hat. “I think that your yard is going to be the showplace of this town. Well, grand seeing you Miss Dubose!”
Scout learns her lesson well. Later in the movie it is her kind words that turn away the wrath of a lynch mob.
The word kind in the Greek N.T. is one letter different than the word Christ. Despite people’s social condition—leper, woman, or child—Jesus treated them with the respect and dignity they deserved. Despite the way people treated him—falsely accused, betrayed and even crucified—Jesus didn’t take revenge but treated them with kindness. What gained the world’s attention was the way Christians treated one another and the way they cared for the unworthy of the world. Modeling Christ’s kindness changed the ancient world.
What strange creatures we are. We brag on how we jumped down someone’s throat who offended us and yet claim to be followers of one who was described as unwilling to do further damage to a bruised reed. When will we learn the wisdom of kindness in human relationships?
CONCLUSION
A man came to Jesus and asked, “What’s the most important commandment?” Jesus answered it is to love God with everything you’ve got and to love people as you love yourself. This man struggled to believe that God actually loved Romans and Gentiles. So he asks, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus answered by telling a story.
A man was traveling from Jericho to Jerusalem when thieves jumped him. They robbed him and nearly beat him to death. A priest refused to interrupt his schedule and help the man. A scribe refused to sacrifice some of his money to help the man. But a despised Samaritan was willing to alter his busy schedule and sacrificially give out of his substance to meet this man’s need. Jesus asked the narrow-hearted Jewish leader who in the story loved like God and treated the needy man as he would want to be treated? The questioner said it was the Samaritan.
Most of us profess to be Christians. We love God. The book of Proverbs asks where is the evidence that we have interrupted our busy lives and sacrificed to help people. Where is the evidence that because of our love for God we seek to live at peace with people, and we treat them with fairness instead of taking advantage of them. If we love God then where is the evidence of practicing kindness rather than being vengeful or negligent?
Improving relationships is not just wise behavior. You can get that from a psychologist. Improving relationships is what Christians do because they love God and they love people.
