MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
A. I'm preaching this morning on the subject of "forgiveness," & this seems to be one of the most difficult subjects for many people to deal with.
You see, I'm convinced that most of us, at one time or another, have had someone that we have fallen out with. There have been times when anger has filled our hearts, & we felt that we would never be able to forgive & forget.
Maybe it was a brother or sister, a parent, someone at school, a business partner, a neighbor, or simply an acquaintance.
ILL. Robert Louis Stevenson, in one of his books, tells of two sisters who never married, living together in the same house, but who came to a falling out & decided never to speak to each other again.
So with a piece of chalk they divided up every area of their house. With a piece of chalk they drew a line across the sofa. They drew a chalk line right through the middle of the kitchen, & even the doorways were divided.
The two women lived the rest of their lives imprisoned in bitterness. They refused even to acknowledge each other's presence. With a piece of chalk they marked each other completely out of their lives.
B. People are still drawing chalk lines. Perhaps we don't see them, but they are there. Words are carelessly spoken. A deed offends. Something real or imagined happens, & the result is, "I don't want anything more to do with you. You're not my friend. I'm drawing the chalk lines. This is my side. That is your side."
This happens in every area of relationships, marriage, family, jobs, associations. Something happens in the office, something happens in the neighborhood, something even happens at church, & chalk lines are drawn.
In Matthew 18:15, in the KJV, Jesus says, "...if your brother trespasses against you..." "Trespass" means "to come across." In other words, "You are on my side of the chalk line. You have infringed upon my rights. This is my private territory, & you have come too far."
But Jesus says that His followers are supposed to act differently than that. We are supposed to try to get rid of barriers & chalk lines. And if we don't handle bitterness & hostility differently than the way the world handles them, then we have not learned what it means to be a Christian.
ILL. Charles Swindoll wrote, "As a Christian, I give up my privilege of hurting you because you hurt me. I give up my privilege of retaliating, of seeking revenge. I give up my privilege of nursing a grudge.
“It is true. You really did hurt me. I am not imagining it. But because I am a Christian I give up my privilege of hurting you in return."
With this in mind, let's look at what Jesus says about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21 35. Listen as I read: "Then Peter came to Jesus & asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to 7 times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not 7 times, but 77 times.’
"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 talents. (Folks, that's about $10,000,000 in our money!) was brought to him.
“Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he & his wife & his children & all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
"The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘& I will pay back everything.’ The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt & let him go.
"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. (Now that is about $17 in our money.) He grabbed him & began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
"His fellow servant fell to his knees & begged him, ‘Be patient with me, & I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off & had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
"When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed & went & told their master everything that had happened.
"Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
“In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed."
Then Jesus ends this parable by saying, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
PROP. Now let's go back & look at that scripture, & as we do, we should see at least three things that Jesus wants us to learn.
I. GOD EXPECTS US TO FORGIVE OTHERS EVEN AS HE HAS FORGIVEN US
First of all, Jesus says that God expects us to forgive others even as God has forgiven us.
ILL. In a certain business hangs a sign that proclaims, "To err is human, but to forgive is not our policy." That store may not be very forgiving, but God is, & He expects us to learn to forgive even as we have been forgiven.
I don't know how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness, or that I have been forgiven. But there is nothing that will take the load off, nothing that will help you more, than the burden of bitterness being taken off of your heart. As someone has said, "To forgive is to live."
II. TO FAIL TO FORGIVE IS TO BLOCK THE FLOW OF GOD'S BLESSINGS
Secondly, Jesus teaches us, "To fail to forgive is to block the flow of God's blessings." Jesus said in our text, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
A. When there is harshness, resentment, a spirit of retaliation or bitterness, this attitude becomes a dam, an obstacle to the grace of God so that it just simply cannot flow through our hearts.
God wants to work through you & me, & sometimes He does. We say, "I just felt led to do this." Why? Because God does work through us. We are the body of the Lord. He works through us. But when there is hatred & resentment. . .
ILL. There is an old story that came out of the Korean War. Some officers had a Korean man cooking for them. They treated him rather badly, constantly playing practical jokes on him. They nailed his shoes to the floor. They put buckets of water over the doors to spill on him. They put Vaseline on the doorknobs.
But finally they became ashamed of themselves, & decided to apologize. They told him, "We have never seen anybody like you. You have been our cook all this time & we have done all these things to you, & you have never even once tried to retaliate. So we want to apologize & ask your forgiveness."
The cook was visibly moved by this. He said, "You mean no more water over the door?" "That's right." "No more naillee shoes to the floor?" "That's right." "No more Vaseline on the doorknobs?" "That's right." Then he said, "All right, then no more spittee in the soup."
So whether we are Korean or American, young or old, the natural feeling is, "I'm going to get revenge." God says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay." (Romans 12:19) But we say, "I want to help you dish out that revenge, Lord."
B. And when we're unforgiving & bitter, there are 3 very obvious results.
1. The first is hatred. Let's tell it like it is. You may start out just disliking a person, but it can grow into hate. Have you ever gone through a bitter divorce? Ever battle over an estate with other members of the family? Ever have somebody lie about you? Have you gone through a child custody battle?
I could go on & on. But let me ask you, have you ever known a happy hater? Have you ever known anybody who says, "I hate, & I'm happy about it?"
How about a successful hater? Normally, they become mentally or even physically ill. Why? Because hatred consumes. You see, there is only short lived happiness in revenge.
ILL. Edwin Markham was one of the finest poets who ever lived. But he had a terrible experience. He had saved his money, invested it, & when it came time for his retirement, someone had embezzled all his savings.
He became very bitter about it. Markham said that he struggled with hatred & resentment. It was an old friend who had taken his money & betrayed him. Markham said that bitterness kidnapped his thoughts, consumed his being, & just took over his life. He kept thinking, "I'm in my 60's, & I'm broke."
One day Markham tried to write poetry again, just to make a living, to put some food on the table. But he couldn't seem to write, so he doodled. He drew circles over & over again, big circles & little circles.
As he did, he kept repeating, "I must forgive. I can't even write. I hate this man so much that it is destroying my life. I must forgive him."
Finally, he poured out all his resentment to God & asked God to cleanse his heart & give him a capacity to forgive that man. God did, & Markham said that it felt as though the heavens opened & a flood came & washed his soul clean of all his hatred. Then when he tried writing again, he saw those circles.
Thus he wrote his most famous lines, "He drew a circle to shut me out, rebel, heretic, a thing to flout. But love & I had the wit to win. We drew a circle that took him in."
From that beginning, Edwin Markham began to write his greatest poetry. Recognition & wealth came in the evening years of his life. Why? Because the obstacles were removed. The barriers were gone. The hatred was no more.
2. The second result of an unforgiving attitude is worry.
When we're unforgiving, & God is not leading, the flow isn't there. We face the future with fear instead of faith because things aren't right in our lives. We become anxious, & no longer feel comfortable in saying, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Him who holds the future in His hands."
ILL. In a book by Barry Woods, he tells about spending 2 weeks in the Socialist Republic of Rumania back when the Communists were in power. He was traveling with a Rumanian Christian preacher, & everywhere they went, the secret police were trailing them.
Finally, he asked the minister, "How do you sleep at night? How do you get any work done? Aren't you anxious? Aren't you afraid?" With a smile the preacher responded, "I am untouchable. As long as God has work for me to do, the police cannot harm me."
Barry Woods wrote, "Tears filled my eyes. I was so proud of him & ashamed of myself. I thought of David's words in Psalms 27:1, ‘The Lord is my light & my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?’"
3. A third result of an unforgiving attitude is guilt. Deep down you feel guilty, & you can't forgive yourself. Guilt destroys, but God can use a cracked or tarnished vessel when it is clean.
ILL. When our youngest daughter, Shari, was in a music group at St. Louis Christian College, they recorded a number of songs. One of those songs is titled, "I Have Just Seen Jesus." The line that I like the most in that song is, "All that I have done before doesn't matter any more."
Do you believe that? Is there anyone here who can stand up & say, "I don't have anything hidden in my closet. Everything I've ever said, every thought I've had, has been good & kind. I've nothing to be ashamed about." I doubt seriously that any of us would be ready to say that.
Now we, as humans, make some sins more serious than others, & I’m not sure that is right. The consequences may be bigger, but in the eyes of God I don't believe that to be true, or else we are going to have to call sins "small sins" & "big sins."
No, sin is sin. Sin is a fracturing of our relationship with God. It is a transgression against God.
That is why God speaks so strongly against the unforgiving attitude. It produces fruits of hatred, worry, & guilt. And the end result is eternal separation from God.
SUM. But the marvelous thing about forgiveness is that, "All that I have done before doesn't matter any more."
III. HOW CAN I FORGIVE?
How can I forgive? How can I set things right? How can I "Give up the privilege of hurting you because you hurt me?" That's hard to do, isn't it? We all have our ego & our pride. So how can we bring ourselves to do it?
A. The first thing to do is to remember. Remember $10 million & remember $17. Remember what God has done for you. Remember how many times you were blessed.
Remember Romans 2:4, "…God’s kindness leads you towards repentance" You'll never repent unless you look at yourself & say, "God has been so merciful & good to me." Remember!
B. Then secondly, pray. The great prayer problem of the modern church is not unanswered prayers, it is unoffered prayers. James 4:2 tells us, "You do not have, because you do not ask God."
So pray by name. Pray for that person who has despitefully used you. Pray for your enemies. Start the flow.
C. Thirdly, seek reconciliation. Pray about it, but do more than that. Take the first step. Go the first mile. Jesus said to go to your brother. Give them a phone call. Send them a letter. Do something to erase the chalk marks!
You don't have to say, "It's all my fault." Usually there is a fault on both sides. Just go to him or her & say, "It's not important who is at fault. What is really important is that God loves both of us, & He wants us to love each other. Will you forgive me? I really want us to be friends, brothers & sisters in Christ."
The key word is Calvary. As He hung upon the cross, "Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.’" (Luke 23:34) And because of Jesus we dare to pray this prayer also.
CONCL. Let me close this message with a brief story about a man who won the victory over his bitterness.
ILL. During WWII a couple put their only son on the train for service in the South Pacific. As they turned to walk away from bidding their son “goodbye”, the mother had tears running down her cheeks. Dad had bitterness in his heart. "If that boy dies, I hope every Jap in the world is killed."
That boy was killed in the war. And no one will ever know the heartache, & the struggle that father, as a Christian, went through in losing his only son.
He went to the woods day in & day out & wept & prayed. He kept telling himself, "I refuse to be destroyed by bitterness."
And when the government insurance was paid on their son's death, the father took the money & gave it to missions, earmarked to send missionaries to Japan.
APPL. Only God can bring about that kind of change in our lives. We may try, but we can't do it by our own power. But God can. It may be a tough road for us to follow, but God is willing to lead us every step of the way.
Do you know that you have been forgiven of your sins? Have you committed your life to Jesus? As a Christian, do you need to move your fellowship here? Whatever your decision, would you come as we stand & sing?
(The first draft of this sermon was developed years ago, & I no longer remember my sources or even how much of it was adapted from something I read. If anyone recognizes my source please let me know about it. - Melvin)
