A FRUIT-FULL MARRIAGE: PEACE-FULL LOVE *
GALATIANS 5:13-26
Sermon Objective: The Fruit of the Spirit are most fully realized in relationships and no relationship is more basic than the marriage relationship.
INTRO:
I brought a picture with me this morning from the wall in my office. What I want you to see is not the picture … it’s the frame. Have you ever noticed how a frame can change a picture? Sometimes, often times, the change is subtle; you are unaware of it but it happens none-the-less. If this picture was in a rustic frame it would set a much different mood when you see the picture than if it was in a regal, elegant frame.
Looking at the Fruit of the Spirit from a perspective of relationships “frames” the fruit. It sets them in a different environment and reveals applications that are much more varied and substantive than simply looking at how the fruit impact my own personal development. Marriage, in particular, provides a frame that shows if the fruit are growing within you – if they are real and mature or superficial and weak.
Steven Gola (from divorcehope.com) writes: “The way we respond everyday to the various encounters with people and situations determines what kind of life we will have. The same situation can have two opposite outcomes depending on how we respond.”
I think Gola’s words are insightful and point us, again, to the power of walking in the Spirit and bearing marks of the Spirit’s fruit within us. Allowing God’s Spirit to flourish within us and submitting to His authority and control definitely affects the way we interact and respond to other people.
It seems important to me that we read about the fruit (Galatians 5:22-23) within its context; namely Galatians 5:13-21 and 24-26.
These verses definitely frame the fruit. Just as the right frame can enhance a picture or even change the mood it sets so the verses before and after the fruit do so as well. And since we are looking at them from a very particular perspective anyhow (marriage) I think you will find the context especially helpful.
A little girl, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, “Mommy, the preacher’s sermon this morning confused me.” The mother said, “Oh! Why is that?” The girl replied, “Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?” “Yes, that’s true,” the Mother replied.
“He also said that God lives in us. Is that true, too?” Again the mother replied, “Yes.”
“Well,” said the little girl. “If God is bigger than us and he lives in us, wouldn’t He show through?”
I like that little girl’s way of putting it. If God lives in us, then there’s no way of keeping him from “showing through.” That’s the power of walking in the Spirit; living in such a way that people around us will see God in our lives.
And can you think of a more noticeable virtue in our day and age than peace? I mean there seems to be a dearth of peace wherever you look. The world is just frantic these days.
A Tacoma, Washington newspaper carried the story of Tattoo the basset hound a while back. Tattoo didn’t intend to go for an evening run, but when his owner shut the dog’s leash in the car door and took off for a drive – with Tattoo still outside the vehicle, he had no choice. Motorcycle officer Terry Filbert notice a passing vehicle with something dragging behind it. He commented that the poor basset hound was, “picking them up and putting them down as fast as he could.” He chased the car to a stop, and Tattoo was rescued. But not before the dog had reached a top speed of 25 miles per hour, falling down and rolling over several times.
Too many of us are living our lives like Tattoo, picking them up and putting them down as fast as we can – rolling around & feeling dragged through life.
(SOURCE James Botts, The Crossing Community Church, in "Rest For The Stressed.")
So as we look at the power of peace this morning I want you to think particularly of how its presence can enrich a marriage. Let’s read Galatians 5:13-26. As I do so, read it through the “lens of marriage.”
GALATIANS 5:13-26
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
SERMON
G. K Chesterton once said, “Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” Sadly, there are many that would “amen” his commentary. But, the Christian home is not designed to be a battlefield. It is intended to be a place of harmony.
Did you know that “harmony” is a central element in the definition of peace? You see, Biblical peace (shalom) is not just the absence of conflict and molestation – it includes the presence of tranquility, harmony, rest, and wholeness.
And when God’s Spirit reins that ideal can be realized.
Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” The peace of Christ ruling in our hearts is the starting point for marital peace. You see, inner peace leads to outer peace. What’s on the inside quickly makes it way to the surface.
What I am really trying to tell you this morning is that a good marriage has a third partner; the Holy Spirit. And by inviting this partner to be an active agent in the relationship the marriage is enriched and has a higher and more noble reason for existence.
Did you know this is implied by the Hebrew words "ish" (man) and "ishah" (woman). The common letters in these words are the Hebrew letters alef and shin, spelling "eish," fire. The letters that are unique to each word are yud and hei, forming one of the names of God … Yahweh.
When man and woman base their relationship on their individuality it will be “fiery!” but when God is placed in the mix shalom becomes possible.
WRAP-UP
One man said: “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
That’s really not the solution to peace. It is first finding harmony with God and then allowing that harmony to extend into our relationships.
Duke University did a study on “peace of mind.” Factors found to contribute greatly to emotional and mental stability were:
1. The absence of suspicion and resentment.
> Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.
2. Not living in the past.
> An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression.
3. Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change.
> Cooperate with life, instead of trying to run away from it.
4. Force yourself to stay involved with the living world.
> Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress.
5. Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal.
> Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune.
6. Cultivate virtues like love, humor, compassion and loyalty
7. Have realistic perception of yourself.
> When there is too wide a gap between self-expectation and your ability to meet the goals you have set, feelings of inadequacy are inevitable.
8. Find something bigger than yourself to believe in.
> Self-centered egotistical people score lowest in any test for measuring happiness. (Source unknown)
I am sure you can look at that list and see many implications for your marriage. And, quite frankly, the last one is the most important one.
Peace – “shalom” – is only available through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Therein is the beginning of the wholeness you crave. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and only God really knows how to impart peace to you and your relationships.
After you are come to Christ you are set on a path that is made more complete as we discover and surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit. These virtues are allowed to grow and mature within us because as they do they impact those around us.
I don’t need to tell you how important peace is to your marriage relationship. What we made need to know, however, is how to let peace mature and reign.
I want to challenge you to spend some time in the book of Proverbs. Have you ever read proverbs from the vantage point of your marriage? It is actually a very good marriage manual. It helps you discover practical ways to allow peace to reign in your relationships.
Here are a few verses from Proverbs you might find helpful.
> A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
> Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 29:22)
> A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. (Proverbs 15:18)
Did you know Proverbs has 31 chapters and this month has 31 days? I want to challenge you to read a chapter a day this month and read it from the vantage point of your relationships. Let your marriage serve as a frame around the book this month. You and your relationships will be enriched!
As I said last week, “Marriage is not about finding the right mate. Marriage is about being the right mate. The Fruit of the Spirit make you the right mate.”
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** I am grateful and indebted to those who have shared their applications from the fruit of the spirit for marriage. I found the following authors particularly helpful: Rev. David Maxson of Embry Hills Church of Christ, Mr. Stephen Gla of Divorce Hope, and Paul Canner.
This sermon is provided by Dr. Kenneth Pell
Potsdam Church of the Nazarene
Potsdam, New York
www.potsdam-naz.org
