A FRUIT-FULL MARRIAGE: JOY-FULL LOVE *
GALATIANS 5:13-26
Sermon Objective: Marriage is more about being the right mate than it is finding the right mate. The Fruit of the Spirit make you the right mate.
GALATIANS 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
INTRO:
Last week we started looking at how the Fruit of the Spirit can inform and influence our relationships; especially the marriage relationship. We noticed that love is first on the list for a reason. Love is, in many ways the foundation for all the other virtues. Some have suggested that THE fruit is love and the other virtues are expressions of that fruit. I like that. I think it has merit. I believe 1 Corinthians 13 and the “companion passage” to this one in Colossians 3 validate such an understanding.
It’s sort of like this backpack I brought with me this morning. I carry much of my basic office needs in this backpack. This includes a laptop, pen, notepad, calendar, usually a book, etc. I call the backpack my “office.” But this “office” is itself filled with items that have their own identity and unique purpose.
As we read Galatians 5:13-18, Colossians 3:12-25 and 1 Cor. 13 as preface for the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-26 we can get the same idea about “Love.” It is a backpack that deserves to be “unpacked.” It is itself valuable but is enhanced when we look at the “stuff” that goes into what we know as “love” (i.e. the individual virtues / fruits).
Donald Grey Barnhouse wrote a “poem” on the power of love as expressed through the Fruit of the Spirit:
Love is the key.
Joy is love singing.
Peace is love resting.
Long-suffering is love enduring.
Kindness is love’s touch.
Goodness is love’s character.
Faithfulness is love’s habit.
Gentleness is love’s self-forgetfulness.
Self-control is love holding the reins.
As I said last week, these virtues find their fullest expression in relationships. Yes, they are essential for my own personal development, but it is in relationship that they reach maturity and prove that they really work. And … if they will work in marriage and the home they will work anywhere. That’s because marriage is more about being the right mate than it is finding the right mate. The Fruit of the Spirit make you the right mate!
And today we get to explore Joy-Full Love!
What is joy?
• The KJP definition: “Joy” (chara) is closely associated with “grace” (charis) suggesting it is an imparted delight – and imparted cheerfulness. It is a glad-heartedness or a “holy optimism” that is not dependent on circumstances and is, in fact, most obvious when one is experiencing hard times (John 16:33c). It can be lost and restored (Psalm 51:8-12) and it will develop as our faith matures (James 1:4). Joy is not pie in the sky; it is not unrealistic. It comes from the Holy Spirit dwelling in us and our confidence in God … the belief that he is at work; that he is in full control; that he is in the midst of whatever has happened, is happening, and will happen.
But I like the way the devotional book, “Tasting the Fruit” says it:
“Joy is like the hidden note in the glass. Joy is tuning in to what God is doing around you, seeing the world through his eyes, picking up on his delight in us as his children. Anyone can find happiness for a while… Happiness depends on what is happening to you. Joy is different; joy goes deeper. Joy is when your whole being sings because you have caught a glimpse of God at work. Joy can creep up on you and surprise you in unexpected places.” Tasting the Fruit
Seriously -- Can you think of anything that can add more positive color to a life and marriage than joy?
There are four things about joy that I want you know you:
SERMON
1. JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
Joy gives its recipients an “over sized heart.” It fills them with such a power for life that it cannot help but be contagious. Why? Because it comes from God. Sometimes I think of joy as “God’s candied fruit” because it gives life such an appealing flavor.
Seeing as how this is fruit from His Spirit’s presence within us … maybe we should say JOY DESCRIBES GOD.
Have you ever meditated on that? Do it. Think about it. Way too many times our concept of God is of some heavenly being who is either grieving or angry at the human race but truth be told … God is filled with joy. That’s why He can give you his joy (Nehemiah 8:10).
• Jesus promised his disciples that they would have his joy. In John 15:11 he said, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
• And Jesus prayed that God would give you His joy in John 17:13: “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.”
Joy is the Holy Spirit’s contagious gift to His people.
• And the disciples were continually filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit (Acts 13:52).
• For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).
• Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
• You also became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 1:6).
The Holy Spirit is the means by which the joy of our Lord, the joy of our Master, is conveyed to the believer. The presence and ministry of the Holy Spirit produces joy in the life of the Christian.
So, if God is present in a marriage … joy will be there.
• It brings cheerfulness.
• It brings hope.
1. JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
2. JOY IS EMPOWERING
Joy energizes us to face the difficult times with anticipation.
• Nehemiah 8:10 -- Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
• Psalm 81:1 -- Sing for joy to God our strength; shout aloud to the God of Jacob!
Max Lucado tells the following story about Robert Reed:
“I have everything I need for joy!” Robert Reed said.
His hands are twisted and his feet are useless. He can’t bathe himself. He can’t feed himself. He can’t brush his teeth, comb his hair, or put on his underwear. Strips of Velcro hold his shirts together. His speech drags like a worn out audiocassette.
Robert has cerebral palsy.
The disease keeps him from driving a car, riding a bike, and going for a walk. But it didn’t keep him from graduating from high school or attending Abilene Christian University, from which he graduated with a degree in Latin. Having cerebral palsy didn’t keep him from teaching at St. Louis Junior College or from venturing overseas on five mission trips.
And Robert’s disease didn’t prevent him from becoming a missionary in Portugal.
He moved to Lisbon, alone, in 1972. There he rented a hotel room and began studying Portuguese. He found a restaurant owner who would feed him after the rush hour and a tutor who would instruct him in the language.
Then he stationed himself daily in a park, where he distributed brochures about Christ. Within six years he led seventy people to the Lord, one of whom became his wife, Rosa.
I heard Robert speak recently. I watched other men carry him in his wheelchair onto the platform. I watched them lay a Bible in his lap. I watched his stiff fingers force open the pages. And I watched people in the audience wipe away tears of admiration from their faces. Robert could have asked for sympathy or pity, but he did just the opposite. He held his bent hand up in the air and boasted, “I have everything I need for joy.”
His shirts are held together by Velcro, but his life is held together by joy.
(SOURCE: Max Lucado. http://www.maxlucado.com/read/where.do.i.go/index3.html)
1. JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
2. JOY IS EMPOWERING
3. JOY IS SUSTAINING
Perhaps Daniel Defoe gave us some good advice through his fictitious character Robinson Crusoe.
The first thing that Crusoe did when he found himself on a deserted island was to make out a list. On one side of the list he wrote down all his problems. On the other side of the list he wrote down all of his blessings.
On one side he wrote: I do not have any clothes.
On the other side he wrote: But it’s warm and I don’t really need any.
On one side he wrote: All of the provisions were lost.
On the other side he wrote: But there’s plenty of fresh fruit and water on the island.
And on down the list he went. In this fashion he discovered that for every negative aspect about his situation, there was a positive aspect, something to be thankful for.
Perhaps it is time that we sit down and take an inventory of our blessings. I well imagine that there are some of us here this morning that are long, long overdue in expressing our thanks to God. It might just open a window for joy to be restored.
Every life and marriage experiences times of grief, crisis, and loss. We can find countless examples of marriages that have not survived the heartache and loss. The pain has given way to hopelessness and saboteurs of God’s presence invaded to wreak havoc and bring ruin.
But there are also examples, many even in our own congregation, that have been able to survive. God’s presence made the difference. And God’s imparted joy was one of the gifts he gave which carried them through.
James 1:2-4: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Speaking of “saboteurs of joy”: There are many that are mentioned right here in Galatians 5. Listen as I read verses 13-26. Listen for those things that can sabotage your marriage and strip it of joy (emphasis added).
13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Saboteurs of joy are also saboteurs of a marriage.
• They undermine the entire foundation of a marriage
• They violate a core value of Jesus (v. 14)
• They erode trust and security with a relationship
• They bring bitterness
• They change the mood / tone of a marriage
1. JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
2. JOY IS EMPOWERING
3. JOY IS SUSTAINING
4. JOY IS RE-FOCUSING
When joy is present it brings a whole new perspective to one’s circumstances. In fact, I am amazed at how different a situation is perceived when joy is and is not present.
I have seen believers in the hospital facing the same dire situations as people without faith and have noticed a striking difference in the way the entire scenario is approached simply because the “victim” has the joy of the Lord.
Proverbs speaks of this often:
• Proverbs 12:25 -- Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.
• Proverbs 15:13 – A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.
• Proverbs 15:15 -- All the days of the afflicted are bad, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast.
• Proverbs 17:22 -- A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
In the past I have spoken of, what I call, “The Eeyore Syndrome” … these are Christians who walk around acting like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. They choose to look at the gloomy side of life. Their eyes are cast down, their countenance is cheerless, and they have no enthusiasm or anticipation for life.
Joyful people cannot have The Eeyore Syndrome. The Eeyore Syndrome is not a Fruit of the Spirit. The Eeyore Syndrome is not a realistic view of life nor faith-filled.
William Ward writes words about discouragement that can apply to the Eeyore Syndrome. He says, “Discouragement is dissatisfaction with the past, distaste for the present, and distrust of the future. It is ingratitude for the blessings of yesterday, indifference to the opportunities of today, and insecurity regarding strength for tomorrow. It is unawareness of the presence of beauty, unconcern for the needs of our fellowman, and unbelief in the promises of old. It is impatience with time, immaturity of thought, and impoliteness to God.” (SOURCE: William Ward. Today in the Word, April, 1989, p. 18.)
Beware of the Eeyore syndrome.
Some other people have “The Tigger Syndrome.” Tigger is the antithesis of Eeyore. He’s the Pooh character that is always bouncing around, always playful, and always sees life from a whimsical perspective. This is not realistic either. This does not take into account or acknowledge the hardship and pain that accompanies life.
Neither Eeyore nor Tigger is an example of joy or faith. But, like pessimism and extreme optimism, joy does color your world. The color it provides refocuses life and energy. It points to our Heavenly Father for strength, wisdom, and perseverance.
WRAP-UP
JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
JOY IS EMPOWERING
JOY IS SUSTAINING
JOY IS RE-FOCUSING
Tony Campolo tells a story about being in a church in Oregon where he was asked to pray for a man who had cancer. Campolo prayed boldly for the man’s healing.
That next week he got a telephone call from the man’s wife. She said, "You prayed for my husband. He had cancer." Campolo thought when he heard her use the past tense verb that his cancer had been eradicated! But before he could think much about it she said, "He died." Compolo felt terrible.
But she continued, "Don’t feel bad. When he came into that church that Sunday he was filled with anger. He knew he was going to be dead in a short period of time, and he hated God. He was 58 years old, and he wanted to see his children and grandchildren grow up. He was angry that this all-powerful God didn’t take away his sickness and heal him. He would lie in bed and curse God. The more his anger grew towards God, the more miserable he was to everybody around him. It was an awful thing to be in his presence.”
The wife went on to say, "After you prayed for him, a peace came over him and a joy came into him. Tony, the last three days were the best days of our lives. We sung. We laughed. We read Scripture. We prayed. Oh, they were wonderful days! And I called to thank you for laying your hands on him and praying for healing."
And then she said something incredibly profound.
She said, "He wasn’t cured, but he was healed." (SOURCE: Tony Campolo, "Year of Jubilee," Preaching Today Tape #212.)
That is the power of the Holy Spirit’s joy!
Marriage is more about being the right mate than it is finding the right mate. The Fruit of the Spirit make you the right mate and joy, in particular, makes you a mate your spouse will want to live with!
INVITATION
If you want your marriage to be the best it can be it must have the influence and presence of the Holy Spirit in its midst.
Acts 13:52 tells us: “The disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.”
Ephesians 5:18 instructs us: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”
Have you been filled with the Spirit? Are you living a life under His authority and care? Are you surrendering to Him and allowing God to nurture His character within you? That’s what the fruit of the Spirit is … God’s character … God eagerly offers Himself to you today.
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Responsive Reading – Joy
(Philippians 1-2, portions)
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith,
So that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
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** I am grateful and indebted to those who have shared their applications from the fruit of the spirit for marriage. I found the following authors particularly helpful: Rev. David Maxson of Embry Hills Church of Christ, Mr. Stephen Gla of Divorce Hope, and Paul Canner.
This sermon is provided by Dr. Kenneth Pell
Potsdam Church of the Nazarene
Potsdam, New York
www.potsdam-naz.org
