Treatise on Biblical Marriage, Separation, Divorce, & Remarriage
By: JB Hall
When man’s laws do not correspond with God’s laws, or standards, it is often confusing to sort through the maze of legal, social, and moral issues to arrive at God’s plan concerning the issue in question. The simplest method of determining God’s will is to bypass all human sources of information and go straight to the Word of God.
In Matthew Chapter 19, Verse 3 the Pharisees asked Jesus a legitimate question (although their motive was impure) and received a legitimate answer. Their question was, “…Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” In verses 4 – 6 (3 verses) Jesus lays out God’s plan for marriage for the ages. The question was concerning ‘putting away’ or ‘divorcing’ a spouse. Jesus responded by explaining God’s plan for marriage. It was not until they pressed Him further in verse 7, that He addressed the topic of divorce in verses 8 and 9. Let’s examine the topics of marriage, separation, divorce, and remarriage in light of scripture.
Marriage – In response to their question about divorce, or putting away one’s wife, Jesus explained God’s plan for marriage. While we often consider the Old Testament to not apply in today’s world, Jesus established the foundation for marriage as being God’s original plan as stated in Genesis 1:27 and 2:24. In the last part of Matthew 19:6 He adds the statement, “…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” In other words, when a man and woman stand before God and make a covenant of marriage, there is not only the obvious legal aspect; there is a spiritual component to the covenant as well. God Himself has sanctioned, or added his endorsement to, that covenant. Therefore, it is God Who “…hath joined together…” that man and woman. That being the case, there is no legitimate reason for man to grant a legal divorcement of one marriage partner from the other.
Seeing God is the One who joins together the man and woman in marriage, He makes the rules of who can and cannot be involved in such a covenant. First, a marriage is to be between a man and a woman, not 2 men or 2 women or multiples of the male and female genders. Secondly, in II Corinthians 6:14 we are informed that believers are only to be yoked together (in this case by marriage) with believers. Never are believers to marry unbelievers. If, however, one gets saved after the marriage while the other remains lost, we are told in I Corinthians 7:12-13 the believer is not to leave the unbelieving spouse if the unbelieving spouse is willing to remain with the one who has been saved.
Separation – We know that from a practical standpoint there are times when the marriage relationship can become so abusive that to protect the health or life of the one being abused; he or she might have to separate himself/herself from the one perpetrating the abuse. What then? In I Corinthians 7:10-11 we are told this is not grounds for divorce, only separation. The separation occurs for obvious safety reasons, but the one separating himself/herself from the marriage is to remain separated, not get divorced, hoping one day to be reconciled to the other partner.
Divorce – When Jesus answered the Pharisees question concerning divorce with a statement concerning marriage, they persisted by asking, “…Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?” in Matthew 19:7. Jesus’ response was two-fold: (1) in verse 8 He states the reason was “…because of the hardness of your hearts…” not because it was God’s plan for this to happen; for in the last part of verse 8 He reiterates, “…but from the beginning it was not so.” (2) While their question was “…Why did Moses command…” Jesus reminded them Moses didn’t command, he suffered (permitted) them to put away their wives. It was never God’s plan for a person to put away his spouse. It was only given as an allowance, and only because of the hardness of their hearts. Divorce is never God’s plan and is only an allowance for one violation and one violation only – fornication.
Remarriage – Building on the premise that divorce is only permitted on the grounds of fornication, we must find a definition of fornication if we are to understand the divorce and remarriage issue. Why did Jesus use the term fornication instead of adultery? The definition of fornication is as follows:
Fornication – from the Greek word porneia
1) illicit sexual intercourse
a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, etc.
b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11 & 12
As you can see, this term covers a wide array of illicit sexual behavior, including adultery. Jesus does give an allowance (not a command), which permits remarriage only for the innocent spouse whose marriage partner has committed fornication. He does not, however, give the same allowance for the offending party. The offending party should not be able to profit from their offense. He further states in Matthew 19:9 that, “…whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” In other words, not only will the divorced person, who divorces a spouse for a reason other than fornication having been committed by that spouse, commit adultery if he/she remarries, the person marrying the innocent spouse who has been put away (divorced), will commit adultery. A divorce for any reason other than fornication, and subsequent remarriage by both former marriage partners means 4 people commit adultery – both former marriage partners and their new spouses.
The only other possible exception to this allowance is found in I Corinthians 7:12-15, especially verse 15. It says that if an unbelieving spouse departs because of the believing spouse’s faith, the believing spouse is not under bondage in such cases. The commentators that speak concerning this passage of scripture usually agree that this means the believing spouse has the right to remarry. I hesitate to add further commentary other than to say that if the unbelieving spouse that departs remarries, the allowance in Matthew, Chapter 19 Verse 9 would be in force for he/she would then have committed fornication, i.e., adultery, against the believing marriage partner.
Remarriage of Original Spouse – Since the topic of remarrying an original spouse after the death or divorce of that person’s spouse of a second marriage is not addressed in the New Testament, I feel the instruction given in Deuteronomy Chapter 24, Verses 1-4 applies. It simply states that if the latter husband divorces her or dies, “Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord…” (Verse 4). In other words, once a marriage partner is divorced from a spouse and married to another person, remarriage to the original spouse can never take place.
In summary – God’s original plan for a ‘one-man to one-woman’ marriage that is in force until the death of one of the partners is His only plan for marriage. According to Romans 7:2, “…the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.” Jesus does, however, make an allowance, because of the hardness of our hearts, for the divorce and remarriage of a spouse whose marriage partner has committed fornication against that spouse. Regardless of the allowances afforded by civil law (man’s law), the only allowance for divorce and remarriage that is recognized by God is fornication against an innocent spouse by their marriage partner. God does not recognize man’s law when it is in contradiction to his stated will.
