Family Fairytales: “Being a Mom Looks Like This”
Luke 1:34-38; Matthew 12:46-50; John 19:25
Sunday Morning, May 8, 2011
Mother’s Day
Springhill Baptist Church
I’ve been looking forward to being here with you today, because I believe that this is the real deal. The things that we’re going to be talking about over the next few weeks are important—vitally important for the accomplishment of God’s work in the world today. I’ve shared with you before that I believe that there are at least two institutions in the world today that are ordained by God to accomplish His work here on planet earth, and one of those is the family.
The family is vitally important to what God is doing in the world today. The family is where values are shaped, where children are taught the things of God, where children are taught to follow God, and where we ought to be encouraging one another to be people of God.
But unfortunately, too often in Christian families, none of that is happening. And, while there may be a lot of reasons for that, ultimately what it boils down to is that many of us, as family members, have fallen for fairytales.
You know what I mean when I say fairytales, right? Stories, myths, concepts that, while they sound nice, while they make a good story, in reality they just don’t work. They’re no more real than the seven dwarfs.
So, over the next few weeks, we going be thinking together about, not seven dwarfs, but seven fairytales, seven lies that our culture feeds us as family members. And let’s keep in mind that all of us here are family members, even if your family is not what we think of as a “traditional family,” even if you live alone, you are part of a family—God’s family, if nothing else.
Now, today, of course, is Mother’s Day, and so I figure that’d be as good a place to start as any, because let’s face it, if you’re a mom you know this—there are no shortage of fairytales when it comes to being a mom.
For example, there are lots of ways that you think motherhood will look—until you get there yourself. You think motherhood will be easy—until you become that mother. You think your husband and your children will always appreciate the sacrifices you make—until you start making those sacrifices for real. You think your children will be perfect—until you have some of your own.
These are all motherhood myths that are common to the uninitiated—people who haven’t been there. But by and large, most of these myths fade away when confronted with the stark reality that is motherhood.
However, there is one myth, one assumption that I believe most moms make, concerning what it means to be a mom, one myth that hangs in there, and it’s a myth that many moms, unfortunately, will carry with them to their graves. It’s a myth that has to do with what Moms look like. In fact, I’d state it like this:
“Being a mom looks like this.”
Now, maybe you’re wondering, what’s “this”? What am I talking about when I say, “Being a mom looks like this.”
You see, I really believe that a lot of mothers, when they become mothers, make the assumption that being a mom, or at least being a good mom, has to look a certain way—like it’s a part that you must play or a mask that you must wear, and, if you don’t look this particular way, then you’re not the mom you should be.
For example, a generation ago, women everywhere thought that to be a Mom of any account, you had to look like June Cleaver—you know, perfect hair, perfect teeth, supper on the table just in time for Ward and the boys to roll in. Today, I think, many women have resisted that June Cleaver image in favor of one that’s more hip or relevant. Their ideal mom image is one that dresses like their kids and talks like their kids, and does everything with their kids.
Other women think that to be a good mom you have to be involved in every detail of your child’s life. You have to balance your schedule perfectly, getting kids to one event after another, and you have to have it all together all the time. You have to be perfect.
Still others assume that to be a good mom they have to look and act exactly like…their mom.
“Being a mom looks like this.”
But the problem is that, for most people, being a mom doesn’t look like any of those things. None of those images fit when it come to being a good mom. And when that happens, when you discover that, when those images fall apart, and when you, as a mom, fail to live up to those expectations that you’ve put on yourself…
Or when the image that you’ve adopted for yourself doesn’t work out like you thought it would…
Despair happens.
Anger happens.
And, in tears, you find yourself thinking crazy things like, “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a mom after all.”
See how fairytales can be dangerous?
So, today we’re going to correct that fairytale. We’re going to be myth-busters this morning, and we’re going bust that myth by turning to the Word of God.
And I really believe that what we’ll find, as we look to the Word of God is that God’s standards are very different from our standards.
You see, God doesn’t care if you’re a June Cleaver kind of mom. He doesn’t care whether or not you’re cool, or if you’re your child’s best friend. He certainly doesn’t expect you to be perfect, and, as much as He loves your mom, He knows that you’re not her.
No, Mom, if you can hear me, if you are within the sound of my voice, hear this: The only kind of Mom God would have you to be, is His kind of mom.
And the cool thing is that that kind of mom does not have to look a certain way. God’s kind of Mom does not have to dress a certain way. God’s kind of mom does not have to have a certain kind of personality. God’s kind of mom does not have to compete with all the other moms over who’s the “best.”
No, there’s as much variety in God’s kind of mom as there is in…moms.
But in that variety, there is a common thread. In that variety, there are some principles that all moms, regardless of your style, or your way of doing things, or your personality, there are some principles that all moms must take to heart.
And if you do these things, using the gifts and abilities that God has given you and only you (and by the way, I really believe that there are some gifts and abilities that God has given you and only you), if you put these principles into practice, using your gifts and abilities, I really believe that you’ll be able to overcome whatever image you have of what the fairytale mom looks like, and instead become the kind of person that God designed you and only you to be.
Now, the question is, “What are these principles?” What are the only essentials when it comes to being the kind of mom God would have you to be?
I think to find them, we need to do nothing more than look to the most famous mom of all mankind—the mother of our Savior and Lord—Jesus.
Now, as Baptists, we sometimes tend not to talk about Mary a lot. I think it’s because we don’t want to be accused of over-emphasizing Mary like we feel some other groups do. But I believe God gives us the example of Mary in His Word for a reason. You see, I believe that, in Mary, we see an awesome display of the principles that we’ve been talking about.
Let’s take a look.
Now, the first principle that we’re going to find as we look at the life of Mary, Jesus’ mom is that…
1. God’s kind of mom completely submits to God’s will.
When Mary was only a teen-ager, she was confronted with the challenge to be completely submitted to God’s will. You know the story, if you’ve been in church long. You hear it every Christmas. An angel appeared to her and gave her a message that she was to carry the Christ, the Messiah. And, as you can imagine, Mary was stunned.
Take a look with me at Luke 1:34-38
"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
“I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”
Mary never wavered from her complete submission to God’s will. You know, Mary didn’t really look the part. She was young—probably just a teenager. She wasn’t part of the religious elite. She didn’t fit the mold of what everyone thought the mother of the Messiah should look like.
But she was willing. She was willing to do whatever God asked her to do.
No matter what you look like as a mom or a dad, there will come times when all you can do is simply submit to God’s will.
The text doesn’t spell it out, but I can assure you that Mary was nervous. You know she had to be unsure and maybe even fearful of what all it meant to be the mother of the Messiah.
There are times as a parent when you will be fearful. When you're sitting up late, way past your bedtime, waiting for her first date to be over. Or when you say that the silent prayer as you watch your child drive away from the house for the first time. There’s a lot fear involved in being a parent. We want the best for our kids. We want them to have the most protection, but we know that, regardless of what we want, sometimes bad moments come.
But, as Christ-followers, in those moments, we simply have to say, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”
God’s kind of Mom is completely submits to God’s will. But there’s another principle we see from the life of Mary, and it’s this:
2. God’s kind of mom does not have to be perfect.
Now, again, I don’t know what perfection looks like for you. Maybe it looks like the moms on television, or a friend, or your own mother. Whatever it looks like, it doesn’t matter. To be God’s kind of mom, you don’t have to be perfect.
Mary was the mother of Jesus, and, guess what: She wasn’t perfect! Turn, in your Bibles to Matthew 12. Jesus is an adult now, and he’s deep into his teaching ministry. In fact, He’s teaching when what’s about to happen goes down. Take a look:
Scripture: Matthew 12:46-50
While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you." He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
Why didn’t Jesus drop what he was doing and go to his mother? Because he was God, and what he was doing did not need to be interrupted. Now, if Mary was perfect, she would have understood that. She wouldn’t have interrupted him. And the sense that the text gives us is that she agreed with his unbelieving brothers that he needed to tone down his ministry.
No, Mary was a good person. She was the mother of our Lord, but she wasn’t perfect. And neither are you…or certainly me. We’ve all made mistakes in the past, we’ll certainly make mistakes today, and we’ll probably make more mistakes tomorrow. But be encouraged. Because through it all, God will love you, work with you, accept you, and even use your mistakes for his glory.
How many women have been discouraged by the last few words of Proverbs? It is there that the author writes of the perfect woman. There are 22 lines in the poem, and each one of them begins with successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet. It’s an acrostic poem that speaks of an imaginary woman. She never sleeps, and she always works. OK, so that’s the part of the poem that is reality. But in the poem, she manages a fleet of ships, she runs a farm, she manages a staff, she sews like a fashion expert, she cooks, cleans, and home-schools her children. She has a feast waiting on her husband when he arrives home from his much-less demanding job, and she needs no car pool whatsoever. She simply puts on her Super-mother cape and flies her children to their next appointment.
If you try to be like the woman of Proverbs 31 with perfection, you’ll understand the first line that says, “A wife like this ... who can find her?!”
God’s kind of mom does not, cannot, and will not be perfect.
But there’s a third principle that we find in the life of Mary, and it’s this:
3. God’s kind of mom never gives up the title.
Look, real quickly at John 19, verse 25.
“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother...”
Mary wasn't just standing there. Mary crumpled at the cross. She fell down to the depths there, moaning and wailing and begging God to stop what was happening.
Suddenly all the prophecies that she had heard were true. You and I cannot imagine the gut-wrenching pain she must have endured. Despite the pain, though, Mary was there. She was a mother from the beginning, and a mother at the end.
God’s kind of mom never gives up the title.
You’ll find mothers like that in the halls of children's hospitals, in funeral homes and in the counselors’ offices. Mothers never give up the title, even if the child is rebellious or cruel.
Now, of course, sometimes, mothers and fathers will have step away for a time, so as not to enable their children’s rebellion or foolishness. But they never give up the title. They’re still “Mom” no matter how bad it gets.
And please understand. When a woman becomes a mother, when a man becomes a father, there will almost certainly come a day when pain dominates the picture. The cross looks different for every family, but unfortunately, the cross usually come. It may be in the form of divorce, or disease, or death. It may be int he form of words or unacceptable actions. There may have to be tough love, and impossible nights.
But through it all, God’s kind of mom never gives up the title. Never. There is nothing like a mother’s love.
Mary was blessed. She had a chance to see God’s entire plan played out. She suffered through the crucifixion, but she also celebrated the resurrection.
What a gift from God, to live long enough for parenting to make sense! Some parents live long enough to see God’s plan for their children. Some see God working in the lives of their grandchildren. Some surely only see God’s plan from the halls of heaven.
God’s kind of mom completely submits to God’s will, God’s kind of mom does not have to be perfect, God’s kind of mom never gives up the title.
The children of the Family Circus comic strip were once discussing babies. One of the young experts announced: "Storks don't bring babies. They come UPS." Some of the other children had different ideas, but the best was saved for last. "Babies,” said one, “are connected to their mothers by a biblical cord.”
Being a mom doesn’t have to look like this. It doesn’t have to reflect whatever idea of perfection you have in your mind. God’s kind of mom just has to look like this (pointing to the Bible)—completely sold out to the things of God.
Parent, is that you today? Are you completely sold out to the things of God? Single person, what about you? Are you sold out to the things of God. Grandparent, aunt, uncle, child? Are you sold out to the things of God today?
