PROVERBS #2: WISDOM FOR FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
OPENING SCRIPTURE:
“Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do!” (Proverbs 4:7a, NLT).
• Last week, we started a month long journey through the Book of Proverbs.
• I challenged you to read a chapter from Proverbs every day. Let’s seek God’s wisdom!
QUOTE: “Who can ever forget Winston Churchill’s immortal words: "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills." It sounds exactly like our family vacation.” (Robert Orben).
• I hope that’s not true of you and your family!
THE BIG IDEA: The Book of Proverbs contains God’s wisdom for daily living. This wisdom will help us to have strong and healthy relationships, especially in our families.
GENERAL WISDOM FOR RELATIONSHIPS:
The Book of Proverbs has lots of wisdom for having healthy relationships:
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24).
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov. 17:17).
• The NLT words the last part of 17:17: “A brother is born to help in time of need.”
• In other words, God wants us to be loyal in our friendships and help each other.
• Today’s social networking generation mentality = we can ‘unfriend’ people.
WISDOM FOR FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS:
WE ARE DIFFERENT! (Taken from Men are Like Waffles; Women are Like Spaghetti).
• Because of the differences between men and women, we need God’s wisdom and help!
IN THE BATHROOM: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
I. WISDOM FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY FAMILY:
Although this first set of Proverbs doesn’t exclusively deal with family relationships, they are definitely helpful to anyone who wants a strong and healthy family…
1. SPEAK ONLY POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGING WORDS:
“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health.” (Prov. 12:18).
• Words are powerful, and we need to encourage and build up one another in our families.
2. BE SLOW TO GET ANGRY:
“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly” (14:29).
• As parents, we need lots of patience with our children, and they need grace with us, too.
3. GET ALL THE COUNSEL YOU CAN GET:
“Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.” (15:22).
• Read the Bible and avail yourself of resources from ministries like Focus on the Family
• Get support from your church family. We need wisdom to raise our children right!
COMMUNICATION: What She / He Really Means…
(From Men are Like Waffles; Women are Like Spaghetti)
If She Says: She means:
We need… I want…
It’s your decision. The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do you love me? I’m going to ask for something expensive.
I’ll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish. It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics
Department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few
new purses, those pink sheets would look great in the
bedroom, and did you bring your wallet?
If He Says: He Means:
I’m hungry. I’m hungry.
I’m sleepy. I’m sleepy.
What’s wrong? (first time) I don’t see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
What’s wrong? (second time) What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are
you going through now?
What’s wrong? (third time) I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
4. GUARD AGAINST STRIFE AND OFFENSES:
“Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife.” 17:1).
“The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.” (17:14).
“A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city.” (18:19a).
• THUMPER WISDOM: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”
• One key ingredient to healthy relationships is forgiveness!
5. HAVE LOTS OF FUN TOGETHER:
“A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.” (17:22).
• God wants you to have lots of fun – the joy of the Lord will give you strength!
II. WISDOM FOR CHILDREN:
1. LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS:
“My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck.” (1:8-9).
• When you honour and obey your parents, God will bless you (see Eph. 6:1-2).
“Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, But he who hates correction is stupid.” (12:1).
2. RESPECT YOUR PARENTS:
“He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.” (19:26).
“Whoever curses his father or his mother, His lamp will be put out in deep darkness.” (20:20).
“The eye that mocks his father, And scorns obedience to his mother, The ravens of the valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it.” (30:17).
• The point = if you disrespect your parents, there will be negative consequences.
III. WISDOM FOR PARENTS:
1. IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN, DISCIPLINE THEM:
“He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” (13:24).
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (29:15). We need to be involved in our children’s lives…
2. FEAR THE LORD AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE BLESSED:
“Those who fear the LORD are secure; he will be a place of refuge for their children.” (14:26).
3. TRAIN UP YOUR CHILDREN IN THE WAYS OF GOD:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (22:6).
• How do we do this? Bring them to church and do family devotions with them.
• This includes helping them choose the right friends: “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (12:26).
IV. WISDOM FOR HUSBANDS:
1. BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE:
“Drink water from your own well -- share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Don’t share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” (5:15-18).
• Sex is a good thing – between a husband and a wife in a marriage relationship!
• “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” (18:22).
2. KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR CHILDREN’S LIVES:
“Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, And attend to your herds.” (27:23).
• Although this verse specifically applies to shepherds and sheep, the principle applies to fathers and children as well – you are the spiritual head of the home!
V. WISDOM FOR WIVES:
• We’ve been heading towards this one all morning – happy mother’s day! We honour you!
1. BUILD YOUR HOUSE WITH WISDOM:
“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” (14:1).
“Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established.” (24:3).
• Cry out to God for the wisdom, grace and patience you need!
2. DON’T BE CONTENTIOUS:
“It is better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a contentious wife in a lovely home.” (21:9, NLT).
“It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.” (21:19, NLT).
• Contentious defined: “tending to argument or strife; quarrelsome.”
• You’ve heard the expression, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
3. A LOOK AT THE PROVERBS 31 WIFE AND MOTHER:
“10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life.
• In verses 13-25 it talks about what an energetic and strong worker she is.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. 27 She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.” (31:10-31).
• An overview: She is a hard worker, wise, kind, watches over her home, and fears God.
• The wise woman’s children and husband will bless her and praise her. I love my mom!
• King Lemuel says, “Reward her for all she has done.” Let’s do that today!
HONOUR MOTHERS: Have them stand, pray for them, and give them their gifts.
Beausejour Community Church Website: www.beausejourchurch.ca
Pastor Chris Jordan’s Blog: http://thelandofpromise.blogspot.com/
