John 18:25-27 – Were You There #4 - Flawed Follower (John the Apostle)
Today we are continuing our Were You There series, looking at and learning from some of the characters who watched Jesus die that lonely Friday so many years ago. We looked at the religious leaders, who carried out the rules of the day with showing any love or compassion towards Jesus. We saw Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, break free from the traditions of people to find the Lord behind them. And we saw Simon of Cyrene, who helped bear the burden of the cross for Jesus, as we are all called to do. Today we are looking at John the disciple, who is an example for all of us who aren’t perfect. Let’s read John 18:25-27.
We know that John came to the cross, along with several female disciples, including Jesus’ mother, Mary. Apparently Joseph had already died by the time his adopted son became a preacher, and so, who was left to take care of Mary? Normally, that responsibility would have fallen on one of Jesus’ brothers or sisters, but none was around. So Jesus asked John to assume care for Mary.
Of all the 12 disciples, only John was at the cross when Jesus died. Only John showed loyalty to Jesus in the last few hours of the man’s life. It makes me think of a story I read. I guess there was an elderly woman from the United States, who wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So, she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport.
"You must first take the loyalty oath," the passport clerk said. "Raise your right hand, please."
The senior citizen raised her right hand as the clerk asked, "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, domestic or foreign?"
The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, "Well, I guess so, but... will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?"
John was like that. He would stand by Jesus, even if he was all alone. This message could very well be all about John’s unwavering faith… if not for a verse in Matthew 26. Describing the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane, when Judas led the religious leaders and the Roman soldiers to betray Jesus, v56 says, “Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.” All. That would include John.
Now, no-one would have ever questioned John’s loyalty to Jesus. When Jesus called him, 3 years before, John, along with his brother James, left his nets and followed the Lord. At one point, there was opposition to what Jesus was doing, and a town did not welcome Him. John and James asked if they should call down fire from heaven to teach the unbelievers a lesson in faith. And the 3 disciples closest to Jesus were Peter, James and John. John was a loyal follower of the Lord.
But yet, when things got a little scary for him, for all of them, they ran away. They hid. They left. Now, on a scale of 1 to 12, John would do pretty well. We’ll say 1 represents Judas. Judas betrayed the Lord, turning Him over to the authorities. He was the worst. We don’t know how most of the disciples felt, except that they fled. We’ll number them 2 to 10.
Number 11 is Peter. Peter and another disciple followed Jesus into the courtyard, keeping tabs on their Lord but from a distance. But Peter eventually denied the Lord – “I don’t even know the man!” – so he still doesn’t score as high as they get.
So we’ll give John the highest on a scale of 1-12. He fled, but possibly was the disciples that followed Jesus as recorded in John 18. Plus, big bonus points for being there with Jesus on the Friday afternoon. Now, what’s funny about this scale is that some people really gauge their spiritual lives this way. Better than some person, but not as good as someone else. Not the best saint, but not the worst sinner. Somewhere in between.
Well, all the disciples – from poor Judas at 1, to Peter at 11, to John at 12 – they all fled. It doesn’t matter who was better – they all fled. In the same way, we all have sinned. Every one of us has missed the mark, missed the point, loved ourselves too much, wanted our own way, thumbed our nose and stuck out our tongue at God, said that we would live life our way, thank you very much… it’s what we mean when we say the word “sin”. Every one of us. Like John, some of us maybe clean up better than others, like Judas. Sometimes our sin isn’t as obvious as the next fellow’s. But the point is still true. Each one of us needs to be forgiven. Each of us needs to reach out. Each of us needs to crawl our way back to the One whose heart we broke.
Which is what John did. He came crawling back. Now, before we ask why, let’s ask, Why did he flee in the 1st place? What made any of the disciples flee? I’ll tell you what made them run away. Fear. They were afraid of what would happen to them.
You know, we all have our fears, maybe even the same ones the disciples had. They were afraid of what people would say or do to them. That’s no different for us. If you were honest with yourself, how much would you say you are afraid of what others would think? How much does fear play in our spiritual lives? Afraid of being misunderstood, afraid of being rejected, afraid of losing friends –even Christian ones –if they really knew what we felt? It’s no wonder that Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare.” We feel trapped when we’re fearful of what others may say.
Another fear was, I think, the fear of failure. Not “failing”, not in this case. They’d already done that. But fear of failure, of picking yourself up afterwards, of mustering up the courage to go back and do what’s right, to stop beating yourself up and move on. Falling down is never the problem; it’s staying down that is. How do you get up again after you fail, after you stumble, after you fall for that old sin trick again? That’s a lot of the reason people give up on the faith; they sin, they know they shouldn’t, but they can’t stop, so they give up.
So the disciples had these fears, too. The fear of others, the fear of failure. But John… John moved on. He moved past his fears and showed up at the cross. Why? What was different about him? I think the secret lies in the name John gave himself. He called himself, “the disciple Jesus loved”. It was love. Jesus’ love for him, and his love for Jesus… these overcame his fears.
I mean, John had such a realization of Jesus’ love for him that he defined himself in those terms: the one Jesus loved. He was so aware of the love of Jesus that it became part of his whole identification. It was love that brought him back to Jesus.
Listen: you need to know this. Even when you fail and mess up and drop the ball and fall short of what you know is right, you can always come back. I might be speaking to Christians, and I might not be, but it doesn’t matter. It works for everybody.
In his book, Capital of the World, Ernest Hemingway wrote about a father in Spain who had a son named Paco. Because of his son’s rebellion, Paco and his father were estranged. The father was bitter and angry with his son, and kicked him out of the home.
After years of bitterness, the father’s anger ended and he realized his mistake. He began to look for Paco, with no results. Finally, in desperation, the father placed an ad in the Madrid newspaper.
The ad read:
“PACO, ALL IS FORGIVEN. MEET ME AT THE NEWSPAPER OFFICE AT 9AM TOMORROW. LOVE, YOUR FATHER.”
Paco is a rather common name in Spain, and Hemingway wrote when the father arrived the next morning, there were 600 young men – all named Paco – waiting and hoping to receive the forgiveness of their fathers.
Folks, don’t let your fears keep you from returning to Jesus. As Christians, we think we shouldn’t sin, and so there’s a greater shame when we do. But still… no sin is too big to be forgiven. Even from folks who know better, God still loves and God still forgives. Jesus still welcomes you back to His presence. Jesus still wants you to come to cross, crawling if you have to, just as long as you come. And like John, He’ll meet you there, and He’ll still love you.
