Son 8:6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
Son 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
-not married just un- divorced is not how we are supposed to live.
In a recent TIME/CNN poll 69% of those questioned said they would like to slow down and live a more relaxed life.
-89% indicated that it was more important these days to spend time w/ family.
Many family spend less than 4 minutes a day in meaningful conversation.
Let us not be afraid to make some God pleasing changes in our relationships.
As families decide to make a journey together towards God’s will for their lives there are 4 things we must do
1- REFRAME.
to look at, present, or think of (beliefs, ideas, relationships, etc) in a new or different way:
Luk 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Power –exooseah supernatural capacity and competency control
Serpents- optamahee – how you see and understand things, earnest and continual inspection
Scorpions- sceptomai- person who doubts and mistrusts to pierce, to guard
This is looking at where you are and considering the options: divorce, (torture) giving up (emotional deadness) or commitment and work that brings promise for the future.
The next stop on our journey for God’s will is:
2. Reclaim/Release
This is where the relationship is reclaimed for yourselves and the pleasing of the lord, and where you release yourself and the other party to love again. This is where obstacles are removed and the structure begins to be rebuilt to bridge the gap between the 2.
The next stop on the journey is:
Reconciliation:
Hearts are brought together, and love is seen new and fresh and biblically sound. A higher love is achieved and it is full of forgiveness and trust.
The next stop on the journey is:
Refashion:
Here is where we learn to maintain our achievements and remain on the road to a Godly relationship.
According to the Center for Disease Control. Physical abuse includes acts of violence in which one partner physically hurts the other by kicking, hitting or using other methods of physical force. Emotional abuse includes acts such as controlling finances or outside relationships with friends and family, making verbal threats, or routinely making comments that damage a partner's sense of autonomy and self-worth.
When these actions take place these are displeasing to the Lord.
Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Eph 4:27 Neither give place to the devil. (deabolos accuser defamer of character)
ILLUST. When someone is given to anger they usually feel very guilty and are down on themselves for their actions and how they have handled life.
Giving into anger is like being in a war and giving your weapons and ammunition to the enemy that intends on killing you.
Don’t arm your enemy.
Pain closes the spirit and makes the person numb, cold and hard.
For those who may be in this situation, may I remind you that
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Realize that your God is involved in making this situation work for your good. His purpose is to love and comfort you.
Another of God’s purposes is to reveal himself through you. Through your pain and deep trial God can become real to your spouse family friends and coworkers.
2Co 3:2 Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:
He will be reflected while we suffer and you will minister with more anointing.
Your trial will allow you to live out His word. His grace is sufficieint for you. Paul prayed 3 times that God would take away his thorn in the flesh, some type of physical sickness and the Lord said that God’s grace or favor is better than God removing the sickness.
You might be very confused but God is not.
One of the hardest things to do is to admit that you and I was wrong in how we handled ourselves. But it is very liberating.
This is tied into the original sin of pride. The serpent told eve that if she ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil she would be as gods.
He appealed to her sense of self preservation and looking good. Or pride. O god help us.
1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Anger has to be acknowledged. ANGER for God allowing what he allowed. Understand that God has made us all free to do what we want to do and most of what happens to us is because of the choices we make or do not make.
How to deal with anger.
Consider the source and empathize (identify with and understand).
The target of your pain is probably in pain also. Put yourself in their shoes. Anger beings to dissolve in understanding.
Pro 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
The greatest response to anger is prayerful delay, asking God how should I respond? Ask God to help you respond in appropriate ways.
Get confident in God.
Ro 12:17 TLB
Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through.
18 Don't quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible.
19 Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it. [Don't take the law into your own hands. ]
20 Instead, feed your enemy if he is hungry. If he is thirsty give him something to drink and you will be "heaping coals of fire on his head." In other words, he will feel ashamed of himself for what he has done to you.
21 Don't let evil get the upper hand, but conquer evil by doing good.
Anger will mobilize you for battle, it focuses you, pumps up your adrenaline.
Let us believe that God is fighting for us.
Rom 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
When we listen to others talk it is good to listen to what is being said out of the realm of emotion and into the realm of information.
