Introduction:
A. The story is told of a teenage boy and his grandfather who went fishing one day.
1. While fishing, the old man started talking about how times have changed.
2. The young fellow picked up on that and started talking about the various problems and sexually transmitted diseases going around.
3. The teen then said, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?”
4. Grandpa replied, “Nope.”
5. Then the grandson asked, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?”
6. Grandpa replied, “A wedding ring.”
B. Times do change. Oftentimes morals go in cycles.
1. A lot has changed even in my lifetime, which is quickly approaching half a century in length!
2. For example, how many of you remember the Emmy-award winning TV comedy called “The Dick Van Dyke Show”?
3. It originally aired on CBS for five years from October 1961 until June 1966.
4. It was a very funny show, but one of the interesting things about the sense of morality and propriety of the time was that the show never showed Dick Van Dyke and his TV wife, Mary Tyler Moore in bed together.
a. When they showed them in their bedroom they each slept in their own, separate twin bed.
5. Contrast that with what is shown on TV today.
6. Now a day, Emmy awards go to shows like HBO’s “Sex in the City,” or ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” where several people might end up in a single twin bed, but none of them are married! How times have changed!
7. The subject I need to address today is a delicate and uncomfortable one, but it is one that must be addressed from God’s perspective – I will do my best not to be offensive or graphic, yet you may feel like any treatment of this subject is not something you want your young children to hear. If so, feel free to go to the nursery or foyer or the classrooms in the basement.
C. In our day things are morally bad, and are much worse than 50 years ago, but morally speaking, things were very bad in the Roman Empire in the apostle Paul’s day.
1. Here are some of the things going on in the Roman culture in Paul’s day:
a. It was common in that day for men to take several wives.
b. Divorce was rampant and easy.
c. Temple prostitution was a common form of worship to the false gods of the day.
d. It was considered an honor for a woman to serve as a temple prostitute.
e. Homosexuality was common.
f. Using household slaves for sexual gratification was common and acceptable.
D. But let’s go back even earlier in history, back to when the Israelites were receiving God’s laws for the first time.
1. Look at the commands from God about sexual ethics in Leviticus 18:
2. The LORD said to Moses, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.
6 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.
7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.
8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.
3. Then God proceeds to expound upon another 10 family members that a person should not be engaged in sex with, including: your sister, your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, your father’s sister, your mother’s sister, your father’s brother’s wife, your daughter-in-law, and your brother’s wife.
4. God continues: 17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter…”
18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.
20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.
22 “‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.
23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it.
E. I apologize for the graphic nature of those verses, but keep in mind that they come from the Bible.
1. Did you notice how specific and detailed God was.
2. Did God have to spell it out that clearly?
3. Wouldn’t the simple statement “avoid sexual immorality” have been sufficient? Obviously not.
4. God spelled out what was involved in sexual immorality and it included: adultery, polygamy, bestiality, incest, and homosexuality.
5. God’s people are not to live this way, we are called to purity.
6. We are to be different from the world – we are to be holy like our God is holy.
F. Let’s spend a few minutes looking at what God says about our call to sexual purity.
I. Understanding the Call to Purity
A. Look at 1 Peter 1:14-16
1. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
2. These verses make clear the need to be different from the evil ways of the world that might have been a part of our pre-Christian experience.
3. These verses also make clear our high calling – God is Holy and we are called to be like God.
4. Did you also notice that following through with this calling classifies us as obedient children.
5. To fail to be holy is to live in disobedience.
B. Look at 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
1. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
2. Notice God’s will – we are to be sanctified – separated and set apart for holy purposes.
3. We are to avoid sexual immorality.
4. The Greek word translated “sexual immorality” has often been translated “fornication” and is pornea. We get our English word “pornography” from this word.
a. Pornea involves most any sort of sexual immorality that you might think of – it is a broad, all-encompassing kind of word.
b. It includes any sexual activity outside of God’s moral guidelines in the marriage covenant.
c. This includes pre-marital sex, adultery, homosexual relations, prostitution, and pornography.
5. Paul says that we must learn to control our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable.
a. We are not just animals responding to sexual urges.
6. Paul says that no one should wrong a brother or take advantage of him – sexual sins always make a victim of someone – someone always gets hurt.
7. Paul makes it clear that God will punish people for sexual immorality.
8. And he concludes by reminding us of our calling – we are not called to impurity, but to purity.
C. Look at Hebrews 13:4
1. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
2. What does it mean to honor marriage?
a. Certainly it means that it should be protected and held in high esteem.
b. It should be considered good and right, and be conducted according to God’s design.
3. What does it mean to keep the marriage bed pure?
a. Certainly the Hebrew writer isn’t talking about clean, fresh sheets.
b. Surely the Hebrew writer is saying that we keep the marriage bed pure by entering into marriage as virgins, and that we have no other partners after we are married.
c. All of our sexual attention should be only with our mate, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
4. Proverbs 5:15-20 are great verses on this point:
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. 18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s
wife?
5. How wonderful when the marriage bed is kept pure and precious.
6. The Hebrew writer concludes: “for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
D. Look at Ephesians 5:1-3
1. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
2. Paul begins with the foundation of our sexual ethics – we are to be imitators of God, and he concludes with the same “because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
3. Did you notice the extent to which we are to be sexually holy?
4. There is not to be even a hint of sexual immorality or of impurity or of greed.
a. Again we run into the Greek word pornea that we defined earlier.
b. Paul adds to it the word impurity – which comes from a medical term describing an oozing wound or something that was decaying.
c. Paul used the same term in Romans 1:24: Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
d. Finally, Paul added greed to the equation.
e. The context suggests that Paul is not talking about greed in the sense of material possessions, but rather in terms of coveting another person in a sexual sense.
5. The society and culture we live in champions all three of these – sexual immorality, impurity and covetousness.
6. The mantra of our time is: “Do whatever you want to do…whatever feels good…don’t deny yourself anything or anyone.”
E. Look at 1 Corinthians 6:13-20
1. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
2. From these verses we again see that we are called to purity – we are to flee sexual sin.
3. We also learn that what we do with our bodies is important because the Holy Spirit lives in us and that our bodies are connected to Christ himself.
4. We are called to honor God with our bodies.
F. Finally, look at 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, 10-11
1. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
2. We learn from this passage that marriage is designed to be one man and one woman.
a. Not one man and many women, nor one man and one man, or one woman and one woman.
3. We learn that the sexual union between husband and wife is precious and needed.
4. In marriage we belong to each other, and our bodies belong to each other, and we should seek to meet each other’s needs and desires.
5. We also learn something of the permanence of marriage.
a. Divorce is not in God’s ideal for marriage.
b. There may be a need for separation, but did you notice even in that there is the hope of reconciliation?
6. There is certainly a lot more we could look at about marriage and divorce – we could go back to Genesis 3, and we could look at Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 5, and Matthew 19, or Mark 10.
a. What God has joined together in marriage, He does not want torn apart in divorce.
II. Living the Call to Purity
A. Living the call to purity begins with having a commitment to purity in mind and heart.
1. To begin with, we must take seriously the need to put aside lust and seek to avoid all things that could cause us to be impure in our mind and thoughts.
2. This is certainly not an easy thing to do because we are bombarded by media and advertising that is sensual.
3. Sex sells, and so provocative images are everywhere and everything is sold by sex – whether it is cars, chewing gum, milk or beer – you name it and sex sells it.
4. If we choose to watch television and movies or listen to music, we need to choose carefully.
5. If we choose to use the internet, then we need to be careful about where we surf.
6. For my own safeguard, I have signed up for a great, free service that monitors every website I visit and sends a list of the questionable ones to my accountability partner.
7. One of the reasons that internet pornography is so addictive and effective is because it is so private – you can reduce the temptation by removing the privacy.
8. Some good internet accountability sites are covenant eyes, pure intimacy, and xxx church.
B. Living the call to purity continues with a commitment to be sexually pure before marriage.
1. There was a story in the world of sports this week that speaks to this topic.
a. A very talented young man named, Brandon Davies, who plays for the very successful BYU basketball team was suspended this week for violating the school’s honor code by having premarital sex.
b. This team was on its way to a number 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament, but they will not be as good a team without him.
c. The sports world is up in arms over this move by the university – the sports world sees all of this as foolishness – “It’s just sex,” they say, “what’s the big deal?”
d. Legendary BYU football coach, LaVell Edwards said: “I don’t know that those not inclined to understand will ever understand. Instead, they mock and ridicule. They stand and shout ridiculous rationalizations because they can’t wrap their minds around the core values of BYU.”
e. The BYU honor code (like Harding University’s) forbids students from engaging in premarital sex and admonishes them to live a “chaste and virtuous life.”
f. Brandon Davies met with the team and apologized for his actions and for letting them down.
g. Davies is a Mormon and grew up in Provo, Utah. He chose to attend BYU, and signed the honor code, just like every other student at BYU.
h. Back to coach Edwards’ comments: “It’s how we’re raised. If you don’t want to abide by it, you certainly have that choice, but there are consequences.”
2. The same is true for our Christian young people, if we choose premarital sex, there are consequences for that decision.
3. There is a lot that could be said on this point, but purity before marriage begins with a desire to save the gift of yourself for your future mate.
4. What a blessing it is to offer yourself to your mate on your wedding night as a pure virgin.
5. Practically speaking, this requires drawing very clear and firm lines of purity as you are dating and as you are engaged.
6. It also includes putting safeguards in place, like:
a. Don’t spend too much time alone in private settings like your apartment or bedroom.
b. Don’t travel alone out of town.
c. Keep your clothes on and your hands in appropriate places.
7. Obviously, living together before marriage would be out of the question for Christians.
a. Certainly it violates the command “there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.”
b. The world has many rationalizations for why premarital sex and living together before marriage is good and helpful, but God’s will and wisdom nullifies them all.
C. Finally, living the call to purity continues with a commitment to be sexually pure during marriage.
1. This includes loving our mate with all our heart.
2. This includes keeping our mind, heart and body only for our husband or wife.
3. This includes doing everything possible to make our marriage work, no matter how hard that might be.
Conclusion:
A. I guarantee you that God’s ways are best.
1. God created marriage and sex and it was and is good when practiced according to God’s plan.
2. Our world thinks it knows a better way – pre-marital sex, living together, and divorce, but the ways of the world couldn’t be any more wrong and damaging.
3. The question for us is: will we trust and obey?
B. Look at this cartoon – how many of you like the Frank and Ernest Comics?
1. Here we notice that Frank is in the courtroom standing before the judge who says to him, “It’s ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ You can’t plead ‘I gotta be me.’ ”
2. The cartoon is humorous because it touches a reality in our culture which places the need for self-expression and self-determination above the need for morality and purity.
3. When it comes to sex, God has determined what is right and wrong, what is pure and impure.
4. When we obey God’s calling to holiness we are not guilty, and when we don’t, we are guilty – there is no in between.
C. We must take seriously our calling to purity and holiness – God’s standards are very high.
1. Certainly, none of us are perfect and we all need God’s forgiveness.
2. But when we chose wrongly and fall into sin, we must not only ask for forgiveness, but we must do what we can to change our behavior and our situation.
3. We cannot stay in the wrong situation or continue in sin.
4. When the Jewish authorities thrust the adulterous woman before Jesus for his condemnation, Jesus offered the woman forgiveness and told her to: “Repent and sin no more.”
5. Thankfully, God does forgive and will help us change.
6. Thankfully, we can also turn to God’s family to help us change our ways and stay on track.
D. We elders are concerned because we have seen a real slackening of sexual morals in the lives of many members of the congregation.
1. It is time to be reminded of our call to purity.
2. It is time to return to a commitment to be as holy as God is holy.
3. Will you join us in that commitment?
