[Lynn would like to acknowledge and thank two individuals: Years ago Pastor Rick Warren wrote a Sermon Series based upon 1 Corinthians 13, and John Ortberg wrote a book entitled: Everybody’s Normal Until You Get To Know Them. Lynn relied heavily upon these two resources for this series because they deal with Relationships and Community. He would like to recognize their influence in the preparation of these messages.]
I’d like to begin by asking you to answer a question…in the silence of your mind…
?> how would you complete this sentence:
my aim / goal in life is: _______________.
?> what word, what phrase would you use:
Success? Happiness? Comfort? Security? Recognition? Fun? A dry diaper? To be well known? Approval?
Now please think about this … because …
how you answer that questions determines
your dominant life principle !
Everybody has one - whether you know it or not.
Your dominant life principle is what you refer to unconsciously
every day when you have multiple choices
and you have decisions to make.
For instance:
if my dominant life principle is fun then when I get two invitations
to go out in the evening,
I’m going to choose the one I’ll have the most fun at.
if my dominant principle in life is security then I’m always going to
make the choice that is the most safe, that’s the least risky.
if my dominant value in life is comfort then I’m always going to do
the thing that is the easiest &/or less strenuous.
when I make choices I’m going to choose the things
that are easy and the least effort.
if my dominant life principle is to be recognized,
I’ll tend to choose things where people will notice me.
In your mind, you have answered that question … but now …
?> what does God say should be our dominant life principle ?
our aim of life ?
Please look at the very first verse listed, in your notes: I Corinthians 14:1 (Living Bible)
“make love your greatest aim."
why, of all the things God could have said,
"Here’s what you ought to build your life on", … why love ? …
We’re going to begin a series today, on the “love chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13.
The underlying theme for all of this is that – because of the move we have produced;
Because of the increased visibility of this fellowship … we want to study together about:
“connecting to our community”.
And in this series, we will be dealing with relationships; but also with some of the moral
issues that a righteous community ought to be built upon…to make sure
that we are all on the same page and that we are honoring the word of God
with our lives !
One of the major topics we are going to be discussing is that of
relationships (in our community). And the goal, is to have healthy
relationships – healthy enough to tell you the truth - in love !
healthy enough to hold you accountable – in love !
You see,
so many people only want to have friendships that “support them” … even if …
their life is headed in the wrong direction!
But a part of what it means to have true community … is to have
relationships that are healthy enough that they speak truth to
one another and hold one another accountable … because the
foundation of any true community is the principles it is built
upon … but the glue that holds it all together is the
relationships of that community !! …
So threaded into the fabric of this series are themes like …
relationships; accountability; and over-arching all of it,
is … love !!
And for this morning, … I just want to quickly introduce this:
1st Corinthians says we ought to make love our greatest aim
in life because of its priority !
… and because it is the common thread in true community!
notice in the first few verses why it’s the most important value.
#1. Without love all that I say is ineffective.
(vs. 1):
"if I speak in the tongues of men and/or angels, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."
Words without love are empty - just noise.
the world is impressed by great communicators,
w/ a lot of: charisma. But almighty God is not impressed !!
He says:
words without love are nothing;
it is totally ineffective communication!
Now, the Corinthians were real caught up in this.
they were proud of their spiritual eloquence. They said,
"we can speak in the tongues of man and angels."
God said: "you’re majoring on the minors."
I have often heard this phrase stated to me, in counseling:
"we’re just not communicating in our home."
Well, ?> have you ever thought that you’re not communicating
because you’re not speaking in a loving way ?...
We always listen - and people will respond - to loving words.
but we resent and reject unloving words.
#2. Without love all that I know is incomplete.
"if I have the gift of prophecy, and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge...
but have not love I am nothing."
You can have a phi beta kappa key;
be the valedictorian of your class;
know the theological definition of :
juxtapositioning; exegesis; and propitiation !
you can have so many degrees they call you Dr. Fahrenheit,
But it does not matter !!
… because without love you are nothing !!
You can be a genius; brilliant; a walking biblical encyclopedia;
you can memorize and quote the whole new testament,
split a theological hair sixteen different ways,
answer all the Bible questions,
unscruit the inscrutable …
but God says,
“… without love – it does not amount to a hill of beans !”
[that is the “cotton patch” version]
1 Corinthians 8:1:
"knowledge puffs up, but loves builds up."
It’s better to have a right heart than it is to have a right head !
…because the Bible teaches that: out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
The world is literally exploding with information & knowledge & technological advancement … you can’t keep up with it !!
yet …
?> are any of man’s basic problems being solved?
no !
The world is not looking for more knowledge;
the world is looking for love !
Without love all that I say is ineffective
and all that I know is incomplete.
#3. All that I believe is insufficient.
Vs. 2, says:
".. And if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love I am nothing."
It doesn’t matter what you believe, if you don’t have love
it does not count.
There is a misconception in our society … that all being a Christian
involves is believing certain truths & doctrines; holding certain
beliefs. Someone says, "I’m a Christian - because I believe in Jesus."
Big deal! So does the devil.
the devil believes Jesus is the son of God.
But the real question is:
?> do you love Jesus ?
?> do you realize he loves you ?
?> does your love for him, transform your lifestyle ?
?> do you love other people in Jesus’ name ?
Christianity is a lifestyle - and it is a lifestyle of love !
Galatians 5:6 says: "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."
Some of you may need to write this verse on your calendar !
When your schedule gets bogged down and over loaded and you
get stressed out … the only thing that counts is
faith expressed through love !
Faith is important … but without love … it is zip !
#4. All that I give is insignificant.
vs. 3: "if I give all I possess to the poor but have not love, I gain nothing."
This says you can give everything you have; … not just tithing,
you can give everything and still not have love.
?> why ?...
because you can give for selfish motives !
People often give for different motives. Some people give for
prestige, to get their name on a plaque. Some people give for
power, to control people -- a lot of times adults give to their
adult kids in order to control them. You can give out of
obligation, out of guilt. Just because you give doesn’t mean
you’re doing it in love !
you can give without loving …
but you cannot love without giving !
A guy told me one time:
"I don’t understand. I’ve given my wife everything she’s ever wanted.
but she’s divorcing me."
You can buy your wife the biggest diamond ring in the world,
but if you don’t love her it doesn’t count !
?> Have you ever seen guilty parents trying to “buy off” their kids ?
Daddy’s not around so he buys his kid $150 tennis shoes
that pump up fifteen different ways.
a lot of hot air! - unfortunately … $150 or not …
the kid thinks the same thing about dad – as he does
about his tennis shoes … a lot of hot air !!
Just because you give does not mean you’re doing it in love.
and … if you don’t do it in love … it doesn’t matter !
#5. All I accomplish is inadequate.
V. 3 (Living Bible): "if I were burned alive for preaching the gospel,
but I didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatever."
We can rack up a list of impressive achievements;
we can succeed in all kinds of great accomplishments;
we can produce a movie for our society;
we can even sacrifice our life for the greatest cause
in the world -- the kingdom of God!! …
But without love … it won’t matter zip !
it is wasted effort !
The point in these first few verses is simply this:
Relationships are more important than accomplishments in life !
Success without love is empty !
One day God is going to do an audit on your life
and when he evaluates your life he is not going to focus
on your accomplishments, or your bank account,
but he’s going to look at your relationships
to evaluate how you lived.
God is saying:
I can have the eloquence of an orator, the knowledge of a
genius, the faith of a miracle worker, the generosity of a
philanthropist, the dedication of a martyr,
but if I don’t love … it doesn’t count !
Now please catch this:
A tip that public speakers use often … is that they use repetition
for emphasis. They say something over in many different ways
in order to get the message across…
Well, Paul hits this from five different angles:
all I give ... All I say... All I believe... All I know... All I do ... All these different things
are absolutely worthless. My ultimate goal in life is to love others.
There is nothing more important in your life !
life minus love equals zero.
he says this over and over and over: life minus love equals zero.
This is very, very important.
there is no more important topic than the one we’re talking
about this morning. Because - life without love is nothing.
So again … one of the underlying themes of this series
is that of: relationships.
I.e. Building a proper foundation, and
exercising the appropriate disciplines of “relationships” !
Now – that being said;
in his book: everybody’s normal until you get to know them - John Ortberg,
talks to us about relationships;
…and about community.
And … because relationships is so “front & center” of all we will be dsicussing … I want to read to you a brief excerpt from this book right now … and I hope you will allow this illustration to speak to you:
[ read section about the porcupines – pp. 21 – 22, & 24-25 ]
Okay, now - back to your notes:
… after Paul, hammers in this point about the priority of love
he then, talks about the practice of love !
Colossians 3:14 (lb): "most of all, let love guide your life."
Now … ?> how do I do this ?...
Well, first, you have to define it.
It’s amazing to me that everybody uses this word but nobody can
define it very well . There are thousands of love stories in the
book store, movies, songs. We say,
“I love my wife... I love God... I love America... I love hot dogs."
We just throw this word out there;
we talk about how it’s the most important principle in life;
we admire the quality of love and the person who embodies it;
but we can’t even define it !
I decided I would look up the explanation of love in the encyclopedia.
a new, 24-volume, set - ?> and guess what ?... There was no article on it !
instead it said "love... See sex". Underneath it said, "and see emotion".
I looked up "emotion". There was a long article on emotion.
the word "love" was used one time and not even defined.
I didn’t feel too bad about that - because love’s not an emotion
in the first place. Love is not an emotion. Love affects emotions.
love creates emotions. Love causes emotions.
but love is not an emotion !
if it was, you couldn’t control it ! Love is not an emotion.
So then I looked up sex. Three page article on sex !
I found five sentences on love. Still no definition.
I thought: that is so typical of our society. Americans know far
more about sex than they do about love. A lot of songs
on the radio are not love songs they are lust songs !
And the fact is: you and I need some lessons on
“how to properly love”.
We live in a society today with so many dysfunctional families.
most people really don’t know how to love.
we grow up with bad models in different places,
movies, other stuff.
I thought about calling this series "how to become great lovers" …
but I thought if we advertised this series to the nearly 130,000 homes that have gone up
around us that … it would be very misunderstood … so we came up with the theme of:
connecting to our community … because that is what we want to see
happen here – that the community of the church – the body of Christ – truly
become a unified, body that magnetically attracts the lives of those around us
because or the love that is so evident in this place ! - regardless of:
race; socio-economic status; background; education or age …
Thus: the title of our series: connecting to our community !!
Now let me ask this:
?> do you know why, in the King James Version, they use the word "charity"
instead of “love” ?
In those times, as it is now, love had a wrong connotation.
they had no more understanding about what love meant back in the 16th century
than we do today.
So we have to learn to love;
we need to learn about, the proper practice of: love.
The question is: ?> how do we do that ?
?> how do we practice love ? …
And … the Bible is very practical – in answering that question:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud.
Love is not rude. It is not self seeking. Love is not easily angered. It keeps no
record of wrongs. Love rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
So the question I pose to you is: ?> what kind of lover are you ?
If this is what love is, then most of us are not very good lovers;
we need some lessons; we need to learn how to love
the other people in our lives !
In this series - we’re going to take this very seriously.
as we seek to recognize how this relates to the community
of the church of Jesus Christ !!
we are going to take each of these words in depth.
and this morning …
I just want to give you two insights on:
the practice of love.
#1. Love is an action.
it’s not something you feel, something you say.
love is something you do.
Notice all the action steps.
these are things that you do. Love just doesn’t talk, it’s not just
words, lip service. Love acts. It’s not just words. Love is an
action. It’s a demonstration, not an inclination.
I think one of the greatest black preachers in America was:
Dr. E.V. Hill (passed away in 2003)
He had been one of the key note speakers for promise keepers;
and for many seminars and various venues that I had attended.
Dr. E.V. Hill was the pastor of the Mt. Zion Missionary Baptist
church in Los Angeles. He’s really one of my heroes. He pastored
there for years. He was a tremendous man of God and an
intellectual giant. And he was a man of principle & courage.
The thing I think I liked the most about E. V. Hill, was that he was a
man of integrity. He was not afraid to call it as he saw it was.
many times in his ministry in inner city Los Angeles he called
things the way he saw them and pointed out injustice
And pointed out things that were wrong … and as a result
many times his life was threatened, because very few people enjoy being
held accountable for their sin … so death threats,
became a constant part of his life.
One time, after something he had said on sunday morning, there was
a threat that he was going to be bombed during the next week. He
took that very seriously. One day coming home he noticed his
car was not at home. He immediately thought either somebody
had stolen it or they were tampering with it;
perhaps putting a bomb in it.
He sat down on his front steps very worried. About thirty minutes
later, his wife drove up in his car. He said, "What are you doing!"
Now, she was well aware of the threat – and this is what she said,
"I got to thinking, this community needs you more than it needs me. If they were
going to rig that car to be bombed I wanted me to be in it not you."
Dr. Hill said:
"I always knew that my wife loved me but now I understood what love was all about."
Ya see … love is an action ! His wife had made a choice !
Now … that is one side of the coin … let me give you the other side, of how … love is an action:
Anne Lammott, made the statement:
“you can safely assume that you have created God in your own image …
… when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do!”
Now we laugh at that … and think it is cute …
but the sad reality is:
We are living in a culture
that justifies sin and rationalizes excuses … and in so doing
there are many in this world – living a Christian life,
that is actually a joke !
When you justify in your own mind and rationalize sin …
and then wear the name “Christian” and believe it is okay and that
somehow God will give you a “pass” … because he is a God of
grace… what you do is, you ignore the fact that he is also a
God of holiness; you forget that sin seperates you from God
… and that those who justify walking in sin …
will not inherit the kingdom of God !!
Pastor, you lost me –
?> what does all of that have to do with love being an action !?...
The other side of this coin is this:
Truly loving someone means … you make the choice to confront them in love and to hold them accountable in love … because you care enough for them that you don’t want to see them living a lie !
You see – you cannot live wrong … and die right !!
And if you truly love someone … especially in the community of believers …
you will love them enough to tell them the truth;
you will love them enough to hold them accountable in love;
you will love them enough to practice “tough love” …
Not in judgmental condemnation … but in gut-wrenching love
because you care so much for them …
… you feel compelled to confront the error of their
ways – for the sake of their own eternity !!
So … you play the ‘grace card’ …
you offer forgiveness and understanding …
but you also hold them accountable to a higher calling !!
That is why … love is an action !!
because even tough love – is a choice !
Does that make sense ?
… now, that leads right into #2:
#2. Love is a choice.
you choose to love; … and, you choose not to love.
There is a myth that goes around that says love is uncontrollable.
"I just fell in love" -- like it was a ditch or something
that you tripped into.
it is not true that you simply can’t help yourself …
of course you can help it.
Because the amazing thing is, that the same people that say,
"oh, I’ve just fallen in love"
more now than 50% of those same people, three years later - are
saying, "I just don’t love him anymore." “I just don’t love her anymore.”
You choose not to love anymore ! It’s your choice !
you choose to love ... You choose not to love !
love is not a feeling !
If love were a feeling you couldn’t force it. You can’t force a
feeling. But, love is an action and love is a choice !
When you don’t feel like it, it’s actually a greater expression
of love and you act in a more loving way – than when
you do feel like it.
Love is when you do the loving thing even when you don’t feel like
doing it. Love is getting up in the middle of the night and helping a
sick kid when that’s the last thing you want to do. Love is being
patient with your husband or wife when they’re acting like a
jerk and they’re irritable. Love is giving a person what
they need not what they deserve. - that’s love !
it’s an action and it’s a choice.
When you love in spite of your feelings; when you love even when
you don’t feel like it; that’s what I call loving by faith !
Acting in a loving way when you don’t feel like it.
it’s easier to act your way into a feeling than feel your way
into an action. (amen ?)
If you act in a loving way … eventually …
the feelings will come back. They will !
I read a story about a young mother who felt overwhelmed. She was battling depression,
her schedule and demands on her life had heaped in on her. She said, "all I seemed to
do was nag at my kids, bark at them and scold them incessantly. When I looked at
myself I saw a scrooge. In my tears I cried out to the Lord."
In her quiet time of praying and reading the Bible the answer came in I Corinthians 13. She said, “Five words leaped out at me, `without love I am nothing.’" so she wrote
These words all over her house -- put them on her refrigerator door, on the dashboard of
her station wagon, on her calendar -- "without love I am nothing." she said:
"I realized the single most important thing I could do was love my family. So I began
to live my life by love. I began to run my home on love power. It was as
transforming as when I accepted Christ into my life. It brought the
happiness back into my life and in my home."
She made a choice – and she took an action !
Paul says: you need to make love -- loving other people -- the number one
objective of your life.
?> Why ?...
First, because of its priority;
second, because of the practice -- what it does in your life,
the happiness it brings to yourself and others;
third, because of the permanence.
The permanence of love:
Paul says you need to make it your number one aim because …
it’s the only thing that’s going to last. Look please at vs’s. 7-8 (PH):
"love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope;
it can outlast anything. Love never fails."
Now you may say: "my love failed, I don’t love that person anymore."
You didn’t love that person in the first place - if it failed !
You can learn some lessons of love all over
and learn to love somebody you’ve never loved.
Because the Bible says: "love knows no limit to it’s endurance."
It’s durable ! It’s going to last longer than an energizer battery !
It’s eternal ! It stays with you ! Every other life principle
is temporary … except love !
Some people say:
"I live for fun" -- how long does fun last ?...
"I live for money" -- how long is your money going to last ?...
"I live for pleasure" – how long does that last ?
“I live for security", "I live for approval of others" ...
No other life principle that you choose to base your life on
will last !!
Nothing lasts except one thing : love !
it’s permanent ! … love is going to last for eternity !
V. 13 (ph):
"in this life we have three lasting qualities -- faith, hope and love.
but the greatest of them is love."
Now ?> why ? …
?> why is love greater than faith and hope ?
There is only going to be love in heaven !
it’s the only one that lasts for eternity !
You don’t need faith in heaven.
the Bible says you’ll see God as he is.
Everything will be reality. You won’t need any faith at all;
it’s just there.
You’re not going to need hope in heaven.
everything will be there. Everything you’ve ever needed or
wanted or hoped for. You’re not going to need hope.
but heaven is going to be full of love !
You will feel completely, 100% loved in heaven ! It’s going to be a
love extravaganza. ?> why ? …
because God is love !
It doesn’t say "love is God" -- "God is love".
It doesn’t say he has it; it says he is it.
In his presence you will feel loved. It’s the only thing that’s going
to last. It’s the only life principle that’s going to take you from
this life into the next one and still keep going !
John 13:34-35: "Jesus said, `a new commandment I give you: love one another!
as I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know you are my
disciples if you love one another.’"
He says "a new commandment". Please circle that.
He doesn’t say a new suggestion; - it is commanded !
The point I want to make is:
if you are a believer in Jesus Christ … for you, love as a lifestyle,
is not optional ! You don’t get to choose whether you’re
going to be loving or not. If you’re a believer
it’s a command. Love !
?>How are we to love ? … Jesus says "as I have loved you !"
Jesus is our model !
You say: "I can’t love people the way Jesus did! He was perfect!
I can’t love them the way Jesus did!"
- you’re right !!
That’s why you need Jesus Christ in your life !
only he can love through you. You can’t do it on your own !
you can’t be the way I’ve just read about - to everybody.
never impatient, never getting angry …
you can’t live like that !
That’s why you need God’s power in your life !
only Jesus Christ can be that way and live that kind of love
through you !
Love is the main thing in life.
and the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing !
The main thing is love ! Life minus love equals zip; nothing !
zero ! - a waste !
God tells us in his word:
"all men will know you are my disciples if you love one another."
The sign of a Christian;
the distinguishing mark of a Christian; is not a cross,
it’s not a crucifix, a dove, or a fish on your bumper sticker,
or a crown on your license plate ! …
the sign of a Christian is: love !
?> how many people know you’re a Christian
because of your loving, grace-filled lifestyle ?...
We sing about love; we talk about love;
we pray about love; we study about love; … but do we do it ?!...
To develop love as your life principle, making it your greatest aim,
means you’re going to have to take some action as soon as you
walk out this door! …
If you walk out of here and you run into somebody on houston
levee road … if you’re serious about making love your lifestyle,
it may require some radical changes.
you’re going to have to take the initiative...
because love acts !
First start acting loving in the relationships you already have !
Think through all the relationships you already have and see if
you need to seek some reconciliation to some people you’ve
been unloving to.
kids, husbands, wife, parents, someone at school,
someone at church, or at work; - maybe a neighbor.
Start trying to make things right with the relationships
you do have. But that’s not all:
If you make love your lifestyle, you’ll start enhancing and
enlarging the number of relationships you do have. Do it to
share God’s love with other people because that’s the most
important thing. That’s what God is going to look at when he
evaluates your life. You start expanding your
relationships. You cannot live the loving lifestyle as a
hermit. Because you spell “love”, t-I-m-e.
It takes time. You love your kids, you have to spend time with
them. You love your husband/wife, you’ve got to spend time with
them. You love Jesus; … you must spend time with him !!
it takes time,
involvement,
effort,
energy … but it’s worth it !!
I am excited about this series – and – about where, I believe,
God is about to take us, as a fellowship.
It really can make the difference in your family & your marriage
if you learn how to love, and in your work, and in your
relationships with other adults, and in our church !!
People are attracted to a community of believers - that love !!
People are attracted to Christ, they’re not persuaded to Christ.
they’re not argued into the kingdom. They are not pushed into
the kingdom. - they are attracted by the love of God !
the more our family here … loves one another & others,
the greater this church will be !
People don’t care what we know
until first they know that we care.
They want to know we care. What people need is not more
theology, nor more oratory. They need the love of Jesus Christ !
It is my prayer that our church will be known in this community …
Not for :
that is the place where they make movies; … that is the place where there is
great music; or the sermons are very practical; or that connections pastor looks
‘fine’ …! (joke) … or whatever …
> what are you laughing at ?
My prayer is that this church will be known in this community for:
"That’s the church where they love people. You go there and they don’t know any
better than to love you … just like you are ! Oh, now – they’re honest with you;
they don’t sugar coat the truth; the don’t flatter you with ‘false-hoods’ – instead they
speak the truth to you in love … but at that church
- Everybody is so friendly and loving ! …
they really are willing to reach out and connect to their community !!"
That’s the kind of church that pleases God.
we are known – that we are Christians by our love.
and love is the glue … that holds true community together !!
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, your word is so clear that we are to make love our greatest aim. It’s the only thing that’s really going to last. Relationships are more important than accomplishments. Help us to remember that without love all that we say is ineffective and all that we know is incomplete and all that we believe is insufficient and all we give is insignificant and all we accomplish is inadequate. Love is an action and it is a choice. Help us to choose today to say, Lord, help me to be a more loving person. We know that it outlasts anything. There are some here, who have perhaps thought, that their love has died. Help them to realize that you can resurrect the feelings if they’ll act in a loving way. You’ve given this as a command not as an option. It’s essential. May we make our lives count where it really counts and that is faith expressed in love. May we be a people of grace!
Father, there may be some here that have never opened their life to Jesus Christ and experienced his love. We know that until they do that they can’t really give love the way you want them to give it, until first they’ve received it from you. I pray that today, some might say, Jesus Christ come into my life! I surrender completely to you! Help me to sense your love.
I want to follow you with all my life.
Lord, we pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
