Recently I read a story about triplets, 3 young boys who got along pretty well. They saw everything alike. They were loyal to each other. If somebody got into trouble they wouldn’t tattle on each other. A neighbor asked the father, “How in the world do you know which one to punish if there is trouble?”
He said, “It’s easy. I just send all 3 to bed without their supper. And the next morning I spank the one with the black eye.”
I also read something about fatherhood that is true. When a child is 4 years old he says proudly, "My dad knows everything about everything." When he is 7 he says, "Dad knows almost everything about everything. When he is 12 he says, "Well, it’s only natural that Dad doesn’t know everything." When he is 14 he says, "Dad is old fashioned." When he is 21 he says, "Dad is hopelessly out of step with the times." When he is 25 he says, "Maybe Dad does know something about a few things." When he is 35 he says, "Maybe we ought to call Dad & check this out with him." When he is 50 he says, "I wonder what Dad would have thought of this?" And when he is 65 he says, "I sure wish I could talk to Dad again."
As we were approaching Father’s Day, I realized this is the first year of my life when I have not wished my Dad “Happy Father’s Day” in person. Little did I know a year ago when our family was together on Father’s Day, that it would be his last. But God did. There is a lesson there, don’t you agree?
Proverbs 4:1-14
So I’d like to pass along some Fatherly advice for this day. Five simple things that I believe if you would embrace them, your life will not only be richer, but transformed as well. I think these five principles are more important than ever in our lives today.
First: Spend time in prayer everyday, asking that God, through the power of the Holy Spirit would guard your hearts and mind, that He would give you Godly wisdom and understanding. Seek out a quiet place every day for prayer. Martin Luther once said “I have so much to do that I must spend the first three hours of each day in prayer.” I know the importance of calendars, datebooks, blackberries and other electronic devices that help keep us organized. At the beginning of each day, why don’t you write in an appointment with God? That is one appointment too important to reschedule. It will help you plan your day, put your priorities in order and guide you throughou
Second: Ask God to give you patience throughout the day. If there is a common denominator amongst men, unfortunately we are not always the most patient in the animal kingdom. We are in a hurry on the freeways, we run late for appointments, our schedules are oftentimes too full, and we sacrifice family time to fulfill our daily schedules. The world gives us plenty of opportunity to react quickly, to be sharp tongued, and to be absorbed by daily matters and challenges. Ask God to give you patience throughout your day. I have mentioned this before. Expect five situations every day that will require patience, five things throughout the day. Expect them to happen. And then, when your patience is challenged, it will merely meet your expectations, you won’t be surprised by them. At work, in your car, at home, on the telephone when something goes wrong, normal daily challenges, five daily situations you will expect to happen. Do you think Jesus was patient? We don’t have enough time to list all of the scripture references. I’m sure His disciples were challenging most every day. I’m sure the demand for His time was overwhelming. I’m sure He taught the same things to the same people over and over and over again. But He lived a Godly life of patience, as an example to us all.
Third: Ask God to give you a listening ear. We don’t need to always offer advice, and we really don’t need to fix anything. This is our nature though. What we truly should do is listen more. Do want to make new friends and strengthen the relationships you have with important people in your life. Listen more. Merely listen. Guide conversation, don’t grab it....”Yes, now take me for instance..” Validate the feelings of others. Try not to interrupt, try not to criticize, try not to argue, ask questions, listen actively.
The story is told of a new commander who was sent to an army fort on the American frontier. He soon was involved in a conference with an important Indian Chief. Working through a translator, he nervously asked the Chief a number of questions and was surprised when he received no reply. After the conference he asked the translator why he had received no reply. The translator replied, that’s what we call “Indian time.” He has enough respect for your questions to go away and think about them before answering them.” Maybe we need to practice more Indian time.
Fourth: Be available. Just make yourself available. Just be there. Do you remember the powerful song “The Cat’s In the Cradle” recorded several years ago by Harry Chapin?
“My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little bow peep and the man in the moon.
When you coming home Dad, “I don’t know when,”
“But we’ll get together then son, you know we’ll have a good time then.”
At the end of the song’s story, the Father, now older, contacts his son and asks if they can spend some time together. The son lists the many reasons he’s too busy and it occurs to the father that his son, in fact, turned out just like him.
Jesus was always available and always approachable. He was never too busy for anyone. But He also took the time He needed to be alone in the presence of His Heavenly Father.
Fifth: It is never too late to start. Start now if you already haven’t. You are and can be a mentor to your kids and your grandkids. You can be a mentor to anyone, it just takes a commitment of time and a commitment to listen. The qualities of a Dad are different than the qualities of a Mom. But there is one thing in common. To show and express love and appreciation. Start now. By far, behind every single successful person, however you define success, is a Father, a Father figure or a mentor.
I have tried to be a good Dad over the years, but in looking back I too suffered from a schedule that was much too busy. I wasn’t a victim of my environment, I allowed the busyness of work and ministry to take over at times. But this I do know, I have always made it a point to say, “I’m proud to be your Dad.” And over so many years I found something fun and incredibly important that I borrowed from Carol Burnett. In addressing a crowd of people and if I should see my sons, I try to make eye contact and tug on my ear. That’s a signal that says to them “I love you.” And they tug back and say “I love you too.”
