I. THINK ABOUT LIFE ON THE ARK
A. Not Just 40 Days/Nights – But Over 1 Year – With At Least 7 Other People
1. Cooped Up – real miracle isn’t just that the lions didn’t eat the goats but that the people didn’t kill each other
2. This was not Carnival Cruise Line Fun Ship
a. no bowling alleys or swimming pools or hot tub jacuzzis
b. no onboard casinos, gift-shops, buffets or magic shows
c. no comfy staterooms, amazing itineraries, or shore excursions
d. only exotic show is watching the monkeys swing around
e. YouTube –rogue wave cruise ship
3. How to cope when all cooped up
B. Talking With West Chester PD
1. This time of year, cold winter months, violence down, right? Burgularies?
2. Told me – domestic violence increases
a. people cooped up
b. domestic stress
C. Makes Sense
1. Holidays are over – people no longer in the Holly Jolly X-mas mood
2. It’s cold – snowy, icy – “baby it’s cold outside” - we are cooped up
3. Days are shorter – daylight shorter – direct ties to mood disorders
4. Spring a long ways off –____ days till Spring ____ days till Opening Day
5. People apt to get cranky, picking on each other, annoying, argumentative
6. Little irritations (wood pecker) poking holes – driving you nuts
II. FOUR (4) WAYS TO COPE WHEN ALL COOPED UP - HOW TO FIGHT FAIR Eph 4:25-32
A. Keep It Honest -
25 Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another.
1. What is speaking truth? = not lying, exaggerating, misleading, excuses
2. Keeping it honest means keeping it real
a. deal w/ what really is at issue, not w/ a symptom of the problem.
b. get real about what’s bothering you, or you’ll come away from the exchange even more frustrated.
3. Keeping it honest means keeping it relevant
a. don’t bring up old grudges or sore points that don’t belong in the particular argument
b. Pirates of Carribean – shot knives, forks, spoons from cannon
c. when we feel we’re losing, easy to grab anything & everything and shoot at the other person
d. put boundaries down around the subject matter so that a fight doesn’t deteriorate into a free-for-all.
4. Keeping it honest means keeping the intensity in right proportion
a. every single thing you disagree about doesn’t have to become an earth-shattering event – dial down the drama
b. you don’t have to get mad every time you have a right to be
c. when you fight about everything you’re fighting about nothing.
d. (1 Peter 4:8) “love covers a multitude of sins . . . “
5. Keeping it honest means keeping yourself honest with yourself
a. stop taking inventory of the other person’s faults and take good honest look at your own faults
b. point a critical finger – usually 4 fingers pointing back at you!
c. arguing with the only objective to hope the other person will change & see it your way is a failed strategy
6. Ultimate motivation for keeping it honest – “we are members of one another”
a. she is your soul-mate, the mother of your children – there’s no room for dishonesty & disgusting name-calling
b. before she is your wife – she is your sister (under God)
c. before he is your husband – he is your brother (under God)
d. “dad – Susie’s hurting me” – we have to account to God
B. Keep It Controlled
26 "Be angry, and do not sin. . . do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil.
1. How you argue—especially how you end an argument—can determine the long-term success or failure of your relationship.
2. A primary requirement for all fights is to maintain control.
3. You don’t have the license to be childish, abusive or immature.
4. If you have legitimate feelings, you’re entitled to give a reasonable voice to those feelings. (It’s okay to be angry)
5. Keeping it controlled means not giving place to the devil
a. we give place to devil when we fail to take it private
b. fighting in front of your children is nothing short of child abuse
c. it can & will scar them emotionally – mom & dad fighting
d. fighting in front of friends & family is wounding & unnecessary
6. We give place to the devil when we fail to end the argument
a. read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 – “To everything there is a season”
b. not letting the sun go down on your wrath – means to deal with it ASAP – don’t let it build & build
c. not letting sun go down – also means to end it ASAP –
d. allow the other person to retreat with dignity
e. there’s a time limit - arguments should be temporay
f. don’t allow ugliness of argument stretch on indefinitely.
C. Keep It Constructive
28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
1. Keeping it constructive means turning your swords into plowshares
a. taking the negative and trying to understand it
b. taking the negative and trying to turn it into something positive
2. Keeping it constructive means avoiding character assassination
a. stay focused on the issue – rather than personal attacks
b. don’t let the fight degenerate into name-calling
3. Keeping it constructive means building on common ground
D. Keep It Forgiven
Eph 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
1. Let me repeat what I just said a few minutes ago:
2. We give place to the devil when we fail to end the argument
a. don’t let the sun go down on your wrath – end it
b. allow the other person to retreat with dignity
c. there’s a time limit - arguments should be temporary
- don’t let them get out of hand
- don’t allow ugliness of argument stretch on indefinitely
3. Key to “making up” is to forgive
a. what forgiveness is
b. what forgiveness isn’t – putting them on God’s hook – refusing to be controlled by your anger
