Let the Holy Spirit Enhance Intimacy in Your Relationship
Illustration: I am a companion of all who fear You. —Psalm 119:63
Two men were neighbors—one had opened his heart to Christ and the other had not. The believer witnessed often; the other ignored him.
One day the Christian answered a knock at his door and his neighbor stood before him with a big smile. "I finally did what you said. This morning I opened my heart to Jesus!" The two embraced and cried. Over the years, they supported and prayed for each other, and they became the best of friends. They served together in an effective jail ministry for 25 years.
Fellowship is an essential part of what it means to be a Christian. The psalmist made this strong statement of identification with those who reverence God and keep His commands: "I am a companion of all who fear You" (Psalm 119:63). The Bible has numerous examples of companionship: David had Jonathan. Paul had Silas. Mark had Barnabas. Jesus had His disciples. The churches in Acts were made up of people who stood together in sometimes hostile and difficult circumstances.
The church is a fellowship, a community. Our circle of Christian friends helps us in many ways as we walk together along the path God has laid out for us. They offer just the kind of companionship we need. —Dave Egner
Lord, help us see how much we need each other
As we walk along the Christian way;
In fellowship with sister and with brother,
You will keep us growing day by day. —Hess
Christian fellowship promotes spiritual growth. (Our Daily Bread)
Challenge: We live in an age when men and women struggle to maintain emotional intimacy. The following are several ways that the Holy Spirit helps engender greater emotional affinity between couples.
1. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy with an infusion of a SUPERNATURAL LOVE for one another. In order for couples to experience the oneness that God planned for marriage, emotional intimacy is essential. John wrote, "Dear friends, since God so love us, we also ought to love one another. If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (I John 4:11,12) Ask the Lord to help you love your spouse in a way that demonstrates the complete love of Christ in you.
2. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy by encouraging greater TRANSPARENCY in their relationships. Moses wrote of Adam and Eve before the fall, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Gen. 2:25) Ask the Lord to help you develop greater emotional, mental and spiritual transparency with your spouse so you will not be ashamed of anything.
3. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they COMMUNICATE honestly with one another. Paul wrote, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ." (Eph. 4:15) Ask the Lord to help you communicate truth in love at all times to your spouse for your mutual growth in Christ.
4. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when feelings, needs and desires are DISCUSSED AND UNDERSTOOD. It is sad that a husband and wife can live with one another for many years and yet fail to discuss or understand each other’s feelings, needs and desires. Moses wrote, "But for Adam no suitable helper was found...Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man...For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Gen. 2:20,22,24) Ask the Lord to help you fully leave your dependencies to your Father and Mother, cleave (be of like-mind in unity of spirit) to your spouse and strive to become one flesh with him or her in God’s will.
5. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when FORGIVENESS is consistently given. Jesus said, "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matt. 6:14) Ask the Lord to help you to avoid holding grudges against one another in any way or for any reason.
6. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they relinquish their RIGHTS TO BE EMOTIONALLY LOCKED UP. Many couples lock up their emotions because they refuse to be hurt by someone’s rejection, anger or abuse. As a result many spouses are prevented from opening their hearts to one another.
Application: Trust the Lord to help you remove your masks of cultural conditioning, traditions, power, pride, position, education, selfishness, fear, insecurity, children, activities, relatives, education, etc. Only the Spirit of God can help us break down these walls of defenses as we feel the security of God’s everlasting love. Paul wrote, "God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and discipline." (2 Tim. 1:7)
Application: Ask the Lord to help you unlock your emotions knowing you are secure in God’s love, protection and all sufficient grace.
7. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when couples LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER’S PAIN. Ask the Lord to give you the patience, gentleness, and self-control to really listen to your partner’s pain, problems and feelings of frustration without reacting harshly.
8. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they seek to RESOLVE PAST CONFLICTS. Paul wrote, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Eph. 4:31,32) Ask the Lord to help you resolve all past conflicts with Christ’s power.
9. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they seek LOVE, HONOR AND CHERISH one another. Most married couples took a vow to love, honor and cherish one another until death. Ask the Lord to help you fulfill your vows to one another with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Trust the Lord to help you to love your spouse as you love yourself.
10. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they together they are ENGAGED IN FULFILLING CHRIST’S GOALS. Jesus said, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you." (Matt. 6:33) Ask the Lord to help you mutually work together to help fulfill all of Christ’s goals allowing the Spirit to draw you together in the process.
11. The Holy Spirit helps spouses develop emotional intimacy when they ADJUST THEIR EXPECTATIONS toward one another. We all need to learn how to be more adaptable, flexible, and able to adjust our expectations when situations change. Ask the Lord for the grace to learn how to adjust your expectations toward your spouse in a way that exhibits the Spirit’s gracious acceptance and enabling.
Conclusion: A man who has friends must himself be friendly. —Proverbs 18:24
Recently I received a phone call from a friendly-sounding person who told me she wanted to make my life easier. She called me by my first name and warmly asked how my day was going. Then she informed me that she could help me save thousands of dollars a year if I would simply refinance my home with a particular mortgage company. But once she understood that I really wasn’t interested, her friendliness evaporated.
Such insincere friendliness is often just a culturally correct attitude that some people use to impress others or to get something from them.
Contrast that self-serving attitude with the genuine friendship Jesus showed us. He said, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends" (John 15:13). Then He demonstrated self-sacrificing love for us by dying on the cross to forgive our sins.
When we trust Jesus as our Savior and learn to obey Him, we experience a deep friendship that gives reality and sincerity to the friendliness we show to others.
Lord, help us to avoid the shallow friendliness that uses others to get what we want. Teach us instead to radiate the warmth of genuine Christlike friendliness to everyone we meet. —Dave Egner
If friendliness is genuine,
It surely will convey
A warm and caring attitude
In all we do and say. —D. De Haan
True friendliness can be a magnet that draws people to Christ.
(Our Daily Bread)
Praise God for His emotional intimacy based on His qualities as our helper, hope and healing for the hurting:
1. Holy, Holy, Holy
2. Hope
3. Help in times of trouble
4. Helper when I call
5. Head of the church
6. Honest One
7. Hardship Deliverer
8. Holy Spirit Comforter & Guide
9. Humbler of the proud
10. Humility Example
11. Hurt Empathizer
12. Hurt Alleviator
13. Holistic Solution
14. Holistic Thinker
15. Harvester
16. Harvesting Lord
17. Harvester Sender
18. Heart Giver Anew
19. Huge God greater/problems
20. Healer & Health Giver
21. Hiding Place
22. Helpless Rescuer
23. Happiness Giver & Taker
24. Heart Controller
25. Heritage Giver
26. Hand of God Directs & Protects
27. House Builder
28. Hypostasis (Underlying substance/Trinity)
29. Hymn Giver
30. Hour Setter – Accountability
31. Hater of Evil
32. Honey in Your Word
33. He Created & Sustains All
34. High and Lifted Up Above All
35. Handles All Problems
36. Harbinger of Good
37. Halt Determiner & Timer
38. Hard on Sin, Evil and Disobedience
39. Hair Counter
40. Hazard Warner
41. Headmaster of all Schools – Law Giver
42. Health Keeper
43. Heartache for Lost, Hurting & Broken-hearted
44. Hedge Against Intruders & Evil
45. Hell Deliverer & Punisher for Sin
46. Hierarchy worker and Promoter
47. Hungry & Thirsty for Righteousness
48. Heavenly Home Maker & Keeper
49. Heart of a Servant
50. Horn-Strength-Prowess Giver
51. Hears Our Prayers
52. Hallowed be Your Name (Make Holy & Give Honor)
53. Hampers Progress for the disobedient
54. Handicap Allower
55. Harmony Giver & Teacher
56. Harm Preventor
57. Has the Answers
