What advice does the Bible have for passing the tests we face in the first season of life?
PART A - CHILDHOOD
1. GET ON WITH YOUR PARENTS
One of the first and greatest tests we face in life is how to get along with our parents. The Bible is very clear about how children should relate to their parents …
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:1-4)
Obedience sounds like a real drag, but let me explain why following this advice will make your life so much more enjoyable.
First, we obey our parents because it’s simply the right way around. It’s the way God designed it to be. Imagine if this verse said, “Parents obey your children?” That wouldn’t be fair on you as children, to make all the decisions without the years of experience or knowledge to make them. Even your parents struggle to make the best decisions sometimes. It wouldn’t be right. The right order of things (the way God has created it), is that children should obey their parents, not vice-versa. And one of the reasons God made it that way is because your parents have already traveled the road you’re on in life, they know what you’re going through and they can often help you through it.
Obeying our parents also pleases God. The Ten Commandments tell us to:
"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you (Deuteronomy 5:16).
To ‘honor’ our parents means much more than just obedience. It means we must respect them, love them, care for them for as long as they need us, and to seek to bring honor to them in the way we live. The way you behave reflects on your parents. The Bible says …
"Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace." (Proverbs 19:26)
If you behave badly people will think your parents are bad parents, and if you behave well, people will respect your parents and your family.
Finally, back in Deuteronomy 5:16 it says that we should honour our parents … “so that you may live long and that it may go well for you …” God loves you and he wants your life to go well. So he made this promise to you – that if you obey your parents (even when it’s hard to do so), then he will ensure that things go well for you.
It’s one of the tests we face in the first season of life; getting along with our parents. Some people face this challenge later in life too, but if we can sort this out in the first season it is more likely to go well in the next season of life.
2. DEVELOP GOOD HABITS
Childhood is also the perfect time to develop some good habits too. Here’s three that the Bible points to …
a) Daily Devotions – Prayer, Bible reading, Worship
How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. (Psalm119:9).
The Bible is more than a list of rules. It’s the story of how God created us, loves us and communicates with us. It reveals God’s plan for our lives, His laws and His promises. So reading the Bible is the best possible way to find out what that plan is and jump on board with it.
On top of that we should talk to God everyday; we should pray. In prayer you can tell God anything. You can tell him your doubts, your worries, your fears, your hopes. Tell Him how good He is. Thank Him for what He’s done in your life. Ask him for things you need. Confess when you’ve done wrong.
You don’t have to use special words. Just talk to Him! It’s a good habit to start while you’re young.
b) Giving and serving
Children, you show love for others by truly helping them, and not merely by talking about it. (1 John 3:18)
If we really love people we will do more than just talk about it, we will do something about it.Little acts of service show that we care. And giving to meet the needs of the poor and to grow his kingdom, is a habit that pleases God.
d) Speaking about your faith
Witnessing to others shows that we don’t just care about their physical needs in the here and now, but that we care about their soul as well; that we care about their eternal destination too. The Bible says …
If someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it
(1 Peter 3:15)
We should be ready to tell others the good news about Jesus. It’s a good habit to develop while you’re young.
So a couple of tests we face in our childhood and early years are …
Learning to get along with our family
And developing some good habits
A third is …
3. CATCHING GOD’S VISION FOR YOUR LIFE
One of the toughest tests we face as teenagers is the question of “What am I going to do with my life?” The Bible just has one thing to say about this - catch God’s vision for your life.
The Lord has made everything for his own purposes (Proverbs 16:4)
You have been made for God’s purposes. He does not exist to serve YOUR purposes. Often people will ask, “What is God’s will for MY life?” But that’s the wrong question. The right question is, “What is God’s will?” And once we know God’s will then we can adjust our lives to fit in with it.
God’s will for your life is for you to do his will.
And God has made his will quite plain to us in a number of important areas of life. So in your teenage years it’s a good idea to make some commitments or set some goals around some of these. Let me just point out two.
i) Your work (Career/Vocation). God gives us a lot of freedom to choose our career. What you do for work is not nearly as important as your attitude towards work. The Bible says …
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men (Colossians 3:23)
The teenage years are a time to be talking to God about your future career.
ii) Another commitment revolves around marriage. Now, as a teenager, marriage might seem like a lifetime away, but it’s important to give it some consideration; to think through what God’s will is concerning marriage, so you can plot your way forward.
Again God gives a lot of freedom here. We don’t have to get married, but if we do the Bible makes it clear that a Christian ought to seek to marry another Christian. The Bible says …
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
The point that’s being made here is that when we get into binding arrangements (like marriage), with people who don’t share our faith, life can become pretty difficult. You begin pulling in different directions. And often you won’t get the support that you need.
So three of the tests we face in our childhood and early years are … Learning to get along with our parents/family; Developing some good habits; And Catching God’s vision for our lives.
This season of life (the first 25 years) covers a lot of ground. There are so many changes in this stage of life. Let’s move on to take a look at some issues that might face people in their early 20’s.
PART B – YOUNG ADULTS
4. GET A GRIP ON GRACE
a) No one is perfect.
One thing I found I had to learn in my late teens and early 20’s was grace (Come to think of it, I’m still learning!). As a kid everything was black and white and in one way that made life easy. But not everything is black and white, there are many gray areas, and that’s where grace comes in.
I learned an important lesson from my pastor when I was preparing to get married. He told me, “Neither you nor your spouse are perfect, and the world you live in is not perfect so don’t expect your marriage to be perfect either.” That was a bit of a shock to me. A part of me expected that our marriage would be better than anyone else’s. But once again I learned a bit more about grace. The Bible says …
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3)
Maybe that’s a test you face? I did. We can afford to be a bit more gracious when it comes to expecting perfection in ourselves and others. Humans are humans and we’re not perfect.
b) Learn to fight right in marriage
A second point, related to grace, that fits in here (with young marrieds in particular), is learning to fight right. The Bible says …
"Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin; anyone who trusts in high walls invites disaster." (Proverbs 17:19)
The first half of that verse is pretty straight forward, if you love fighting, you love sinning. But what’s the bit about high walls mean? Walls are designed to keep people out, and the higher they are the better they are at keeping people out. We do that in our hearts and lives sometimes don’t we? A fight starts, and up go the barriers, and we put some distance between us the person we’re fighting with. And that’s no good for friendship and it’s a disaster in a marriage. One of the best tips for learning to fight right is found in Ephesians 4 which says …
Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil (Ephesians 4:26b-27)
So one of the tests we face as we enter adulthood is getting a grip on grace; grace in our friendships and grace in our marriage. Learning to forgive others and to forgive ourselves.
5) GETTING INTO PARENTING
Maybe by this age (20-25), you may well be getting into parenting. This would have to be the greatest challenge you have faced yet. The birth process alone is probably the greatest physical challenge a woman will face. But what about parenting?
I remember bringing my eldest child home and thinking, “I can’t believe they let us bring her home. Don’t they realize we have no idea what we’re doing?” And that’s the thing. A lot a folks think they have what it takes to be a parent, but in actual fact we don’t! Many of us start out looking at other parents and thinking, “I would never parent like THAT!” When in actual fact we end up making exactly the same mistakes!
The problem is, we are broken people. Our natural equipment for instruction, discipline, care, and love is broken. We can’t be consistent in our parenting no matter how hard we try. Over and over again our children push us to the limits of our love - - we get angry and sometimes even bitter and resentful. Sometimes we will spank or yell out of spite, not mercy and love - - because we do not have what it takes to parent our children. The Bible says …
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard (Romans 3:23)
So parenting well is more than just following a parenting plan or reading a few good books on parenting. It’s more than just watching “Super Nanny” on TV and picking up tips. As important and entertaining as these are, they are inadequate. There’s something wrong right at the very heart of who we are and so we need to be made brand new over again. The Bible says …
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20).
As parents one of the most important lessons we can learn from the very outset is that we need to step aside and let Christ in us parent our children. We need to listen to HIS voice, to follow his guidance, to love out of his deep reservoir of compassion, to draw on his eternal patience. We cannot do it alone. By ourselves we do not have what it takes to parent our own children. We need Jesus.
WHAT NOW?
Whether we’re a child, a teenager, a young adult, married or single, parent or not, the greatest test we face in this first season of life is what will you do with Jesus Christ? Will you allow him into your life as your Lord and Savior? You can’t live successfully until you do. Only Jesus can empower you to get along with your parents. Only Jesus can develop in you the good habits you need to live successfully. Only Jesus can show you God’s vision for your life. Only Jesus can help you get a grip on grace. And only Jesus can give you all the tools you need to raise the little children God has placed in your care. You can’t live any season of life successfully without him.
