Parker’s Memorial Message
I wonder if perhaps… In fact, this thought has brought a great deal of comfort to me this week… I wonder if recently an angel in heaven opened the book of life and seeing Parker’s name printed within, said “This one is too beautiful to see the ugliness of this world. He shall go home to Heaven right away.”
As a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I am called upon to do some difficult tasks. You presently join me in what is likely the most difficult up to this point. In what follows, I offer the humble thoughts of a fellow traveler through the dusty, rocky trails of this life; nothing more than the reflections of a fellow pilgrim.
At times like this we look for meaning. Indeed, our faith is tested. The soundness of our theology, our understanding of God and of ourselves, is put to the test. Is our love deep enough to endure? Is God’s grace vast enough to suffice?
We want to make sense of such suffering. Why does a sovereign and loving God allow that such pain should continue in this world? Those who know me well know that I despise trite, pat, answers and cliché. I have long said that I would rather have a difficult truth than an easy lie. The truth is this.
Though I have searched high and low, for a number of years, in the annals of human wisdom and in the pages of Sacred Scripture, I have not found a sentence or collection of sentences which will cure the heartache of such a loss. When we are in the valley, we must walk through it to get to other side.
Yet, this is not the only thing that is true. I also know that while there are no words that can easily stop the pain, there are words which point us toward the place of healing; to the person through whom healing is available.
Parker has only known the love of his mother, father, and family in the safety of his mother’s womb and the love of Christ in heaven. His knowledge of love and provision are so pure. We are gathered here out of pure love and honest respect for Katie & Joe and all of their family and for each other.
The past several days have been difficult. Emotions are raw. People try to comfort. Questions swirl in our minds, and sometimes we’re not sure what we should think or feel. So as we honor Parker’s little life, would you allow me to be so bold as to remind you of a few things you can know for sure?
1. Know that you have a right to grieve.
2. Know where Parker is. “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’” (Matthew 18:2-4).
3. Know God’s love for you and Parker. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). All that occurs is well within the scope of God’s provision and care, though we may not understand it.
Through examination of the Scripture, the lives of other believers, and the activity of God as it is discernible in the world generally, I am compelled to believe all of the pain and struggle in this life is intended for the very same purpose of the joy; to draw us to a place of dependence upon God.
All of the control that we think we have in this life is an illusion. It can be stripped away in only a slight moment; and it is in these moments when it is stripped away that the beautiful things of this life become more obvious – a friend reaching out in need and another reaching out in love to meet that need; looking like Christ.
This year my wife and I decided to plant tulip bulbs in the fall. We had never done this before but I have always found it fascinating that tulips are planted in the fall, as everything is fading, so that in the spring they come up in beautiful rich colors. In fact, it was Katie’s mother who suggested that we cover up the tulip bulbs with mulch in our raised beds to help protect them from the scorching cold of winter.
They are planted in winter, just as the seeds of tomorrows joys are often planted in the winter time of life. Though it is difficult to see now, if we allow it, the winter times of life can draw us closer to one another.
While one warm hope fades, another springs up, as we allow God to draw us closer together in genuine love, family unity, and friendship, which was protected in winter by the covering of the love of us coming together in the winter.
In other words, times like these can either become a wedge between us as disappointment turns to bitterness or times like this can become a bridge over which we cross, arm in arm, bringing us closer together, looking for help in the troubled times and finding it in one another; finding God moving through others.
In the time that I have ministered the Gospel of Jesus Christ I have walked with many people through sorrow and loss, though admittedly, this is among the most difficult. In that time I have come to rely on one passage from the Bible above all.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15 NIV) Where is God when it hurts? In the loving embrace of a friend whom He sends! Where is God in the darkness? His light is present in the helping hand of the one who is guided by God’s grace to offer grace!
Why does God allow such things to occur as this? Theologians have long sought an answer to that question. Were I to attempt to answer “why” I would step well beyond my ability and even further from my mandate from Scripture – because even within the Scripture no why is given, only who.
Friends, in these times the Lord does not reveal the wisdom of explanation, only the comfort of His grace; and it is more than enough to sustain us. Today, O, how I would that I could make sense of such things in a need and tidy box, wrap up an explanation and serve it on a platter or print it in a book.
I cannot. I can, however, invite you to rely, to depend, to glorify, to cry out to the one who can offer hope and healing and purpose and life! There is the knowledge that is written, that is logical, that appeals to the mind. This is knowledge about. Then there is the knowledge which is only found in an embrace. This is knowledge of.
My friend, may I suggest that the same risen Lord who has scooped little Parker up into His loving and strong embrace, the master of mercy who once walked this earth and now is Lord of Heaven and Earth, offers His embrace to each one of us!
I have walked the dusty trails of this life with my savior, my Lord, my friend Jesus. He has seen me through many trials and I have poured out many tears upon His shoulder. In prayer I ask Him why and his silent answer is “Peace be still,” as He pulls me and draws me near to His side.
On November 28, 2010, Parker Redmon went directly from the shelter of the love of His father and the womb of his mother, into the arms of His savior, Jesus Christ.
Friends, it is to those same arms that I run now, placing my trust in the God who knows what I cannot know; into the arms of the one who now holds Parker. In the fullness of His presence there is peace.
My heart is broken and I cry out along with the worshipper of God of old:
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.” (Psalms 121:1-8 ESV)
Amen.
