Text: 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 25-40, Title: Single and Devoted, Date/Place: NRBC, 10/31/10, AM
A. Opening illustration: Second Class Brethren: read Kostenberger’s opening, G, M, and Family, p. 173-174
B. Background to passage: Paul is now into the section of the letter that deals with the questions and issues asked of him by the congregation. Marriage, sex, divorce, singleness was the first question that they asked. Asceticism and immorality were both running wild in the church, and they needed help. This week we will take up Paul’s thoughts on singleness, and how we should view it. He is also attempting to raise this state to and equal level with marriage, for their culture, like ours, expected marriage to be the norm; and had a list of reasons why. Paul says “not so” and gives us
C. Main thought: five reasons to exalt singleness and stay single, for he says these things to their “profit”
A. B/c it is a gift (v. 7)
1. In this verse Paul teaches that marriage and singleness are both gifts. The same word is used here for the gifts of the Spirit, but I don’t know if that necessarily indicates “gift” in the same way. Again, Paul is not arguing for superiority or inferiority, but saying that both are gifts given by an all-powerful, infinitely wise, and incomprehensibly good God.
2. Matt 19:10-12, James 1:17, Philip 4:11,
3. Illustration: There are 104 million unmarried Americans over age 18, representing over 45% of the adult population. - U.S. Census Bureau. American Community Survey: 2008 Unmarried Americans head more than 51 million households. - U.S. Census Bureau. “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2007.” In 2005, unmarried households became the majority of all U.S. households. - U.S. Census Bureau. American Community Survey: 2005. “Marriage is like flies buzzing around a screen door in the summer. All those on the outside want to get in and all those on the inside want to get out.”
4. Marriage and singleness can/are sometimes seen as curses, when Paul says just the opposite. Singleness is God’s gift to us all at one time or another. And it could be God’s gift to some in a more permanent fashion. Either way we are to embrace our gift—if singleness, don’t flee from it; if marriage, don’t degrade it. Paul says live where you are called. And if you want to stay single, that’s good. If you want to get married, that is fine too. Married, divorced, widowed, and single are gifts to the church, and have their place among the body of Christ. And we can mutually be strengthened together as we exercise our gifts in a proper fashion.
B. B/c of the present distress (v. 26)
1. The next reason that he offers as a reason to stay single, or an advantage to singleness is that trouble lurks for the church. During the first century, many early believers lost their lives, and suffered greatly because of their faith. Members of the Corinthian congregation are some of the first entries in the famous Foxe’s Book of the Martyrs. Paul knew that was coming, and that they would better endure suffering as singles like him.
2. Heb 11:36-40, 2 Cor 6:4-5, 11:23-28,
3. Illustration: “A man who is a hero by himself becomes a coward when he thinks of his widowed wife and orphaned children.” Adoniram Judson,
4. It would be incredibly hard to see your children ripped away from their mother; to go without seeing your spouse for months at a time; to live in poverty so that others might live at all; to lose a job b/c of your witness for Christ with mouths to feed; taking a bullet for Jesus; leaving all for Jesus; moving to another country. There are men who do it and have done it, but you understand the point. Know that whatever suffering you endure, God has allowed it, but from a practical standpoint, it’s easier to take risks and suffering loss if it only costs you.
C. B/c of the problem of sin (v. 28)
1. The next reason that he offers as a reason to stay single, or an advantage to singleness is that we are sinners. Paul is not against marriage, but he had seen enough to know that it is the most intimate clash of sinners. Marriage is not a place for sin to be concealed, but for sin to be exposed and magnified. Marriage is one of God’s ways for letting you see your sin (advantage married people). But you will also expose your spouse to your sin, and be exposed to your spouses sin, and probably aggravate both scenarios. The bottom line is that when you say “I do” you are inviting problems to come into your life. He is not saying therefore nobody should get married; just that it is a reality.
2. Gal 5:15, James 4:1-2,
3. Illustration: You can be married and selfish, but not married, selfish, and happy. Tell about Dave Harvey and his calculations of the amount of time that his wife wasted of their lives as she was late for them to leave for an engagement, from the book When Sinners Say I Do, p. 33-34, after five hours, “wish you would have told me before you did it that way,” late from a meeting…no call, apology, going from thinking about being a widow, to how you were going to ensure that you were a widow, p. 39 about Rob and Sally,
4. Singleness has worldly/fleshly troubles, and marriage does too; that’s just how it is. But Paul indicates here that a collision of one sinner with himself is easier that the collision of two sinners. If you are single, do not believe the lie that marriage will set your life on an easier, happier path. (Recent study on married with children not being happier). BTW if you are married, don’t think that being single will solve your problems either (happiness increases to the highest level after 5 yrs in couples that are ready to divorce and don’t—85%). The grass ain’t greener. The way that you will improve your marriage and your singleness is to get closer to Jesus.
D. B/c of the temp nature of this world (v. 29-31)
1. The next reason that he offers as a reason to stay single, or an advantage to singleness is that things of this world are not permanent. He says that “time is short” and “the form of this world is passing away.” He says that there is much work to do, little time to do it, and one of the greatest time-wasters kingdom-wise is things related to marriage. This does not mean that marriage is a waste or that all things in marriage are a waste, just that it is one of those things that will pass away. Money, possessions, degrees, careers, and marriage. This is also why Jesus elevates relationships in the kingdom higher than familial relationships.
2. Isa 54:1, 56:4-5, Matt 22:30, 12:48-49, Luke 11:27, Mark 10:29-30,
3. Illustration: Erika and I watch TV for about an hour each night before bed, without a family, neither of us would so desperately need wind down time or alone time, “I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make unmarried people feel good. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over and against the eternal and primary nature of the church.” –Piper,
4. We all begin life single, and we will all end life single. Marriage is temporary. The church and the kingdom are eternal. And we are to set our eyes upon the “things above” because we have been born from above, and are going above. The kingdom of God grows by spiritual birth, not natural ones. Therefore, labor for those things that will bring eternal results.
E. B/c of single-minded devotion (v. 32-35)
1. The next reason that he offers as a reason to stay single, or an advantage to singleness is focus on Christ. Paul says that unmarried can offer themselves more fully to the Lord because of their lack of earthly obligations. The married must and should concern themselves with the needs of their families, lest they disqualify themselves from leadership and disobey the direct teaching of scripture.
2. Luke 12:22, 1 Tim 3:4, 5:8, 1 Sam 1:7-8,
3. Illustration: How many men could live with a lot less (house, food, transportation), but because of wife and children, opt otherwise? Heard of a widow the other day who heard about an opportunity to teach English in Asia as a missionary, and she just up and left, didn’t have to consult a husband and children.
4. Just practically speaking, a single person has more time to devote to Christ. It’s not that they don’t do anything (anymore than stay at home mom’s don’t do anything), but that their required obligations are less or that they are determined by choice rather that forced or necessary. Marriage doesn’t prevent devotion and holiness, but singleness has fewer hindrances.
A. Closing illustration: Where would the kingdom be without the single lives of Paul, Jeremiah, Daniel, John the Baptist, Lydia, Mary Magdalene, Origen, David Brainerd, Robert Murray McCheyne, Rachel Saint, Mother Teresa, Corrie Ten Boom, Annie Armstrong, and Lottie Moon? Tell about her service to China and to Southern Baptists, and ask where would the nations be without her? “Faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.” –Piper,
B. Recap
C. Invitation to commitment
Married: Don’t discount, relegate, overlook, or forget about our single family (singles, divorced, widowed)
• Include them in social things
• Strive not to pressure them
• Encourage them in their walk
• Retrain your brain
Singles: Don’t Waste Your Singleness
• Seek and serve God alone, throw yourself whole-heartedly into the Word, the church, and missions
• May be no other time in your life where you will be as free to serve (side benefit: finding right person)
• Look for and be open to ways that you can serve where married cannot
• Mother and father dozens within the church/family/community
• Cultivate purity and self-control and contentment
• If you are single and want to be married, it is OK, you haven’t copped out
• There will be a great reward given you
