Foundations for Healthy Church Relationships
Part 3 – Working to Make the Family Larger
Colossians 4:2-6
September 5, 2010
NOTE: THE ME/WE/GOD/YOU/WE FORMAT IS FROM ANDY STANLEY’S BOOK, "COMMUNICATING FOR A CHANGE."
Audio of this message can be heard at www.aberdeenwesleyan.org
Me: If you’ve been coming to this church for any length of time, you’ll be shocked to know that one of my most favoritist things in the world is to see someone give their life to Jesus.
I know – blew some of you away, right?
But let me tell you something that might really shock you: as much as I love to see people come to Jesus, there are times shaking in my boots when I’m telling them about Him, especially when I’m doing it one on one.
So I quit wearing boots when I was telling people about Jesus…
There are lots of reasons, for that, but the main one is that I’m afraid that I’ll communicate something wrong, or I’ll offend the person – not by the message, but by the way I give it.
The gospel message is offensive all by itself. Telling people they’re a sinner in need of a Savior tends to put people on the defensive and get their hackles up.
And I find it most awkward when I’m visiting with someone not of this church who is dying.
They know I’m a pastor, they know it’s my job to talk about Jesus, and I’m still scared to talk to them about whether they’re going to heaven.
And I do it, because their eternity is on the line, and I don’t want them to take their last breath not having eternity squared away.
So I’m willing to risk offending that person with the message of Jesus so I can see them in heaven when it’s my turn to die.
So I find myself struggling at times to make sure I’m communicating the message of Jesus clearly.
We: I know I’m not the only one in that boat.
Some of you are the same way.
You know you should talk to others about Jesus, and you want to talk to others about Jesus, but you’re not really sure how to do it, or how to communicate to someone in a specific or unique situation.
And truth be told, there are some who just don’t care about telling others about Jesus for one reason or another.
They don’t have a desire, they don’t struggle with how to do it, they just don’t and won’t, even if someone were to come right up to them and say, “Could you tell me how to get to heaven?”
I know Christians like that. Maybe you do, too.
But for many folks, it’s not an issue of not having a desire, it’s an issue of not knowing how to get involved. And the majority of this message today is for you.
God/You:
We’re into the last part of this short series on developing healthy church relationships.
Part 1 was about promoting unity in a church around the essential mission of that church to make disciples for Jesus both here and around the world.
Part 2, last week, was about supporting your leadership as they lead the church toward greater effectiveness for the mission of Jesus.
And today we’re going to talk about the fact that a healthy church contains people who have as one of the primary motivations in life, the desire to see the family of God grow by seeing people put their faith in Jesus.
The family of God is supposed to grow. It was never meant to stay the same it was, or the Church would have died when the apostles did.
And the Church would not have grown like it did in the book of Acts.
And Jesus wouldn’t have prayed like He did in John 17 which we looked at last week.
He intended for His Church to grow, and He intends for this local representation of His Church to grow.
The apostle Paul believed that as well, and it was his mission to see as many people as possible saved by putting their faith in Jesus.
Let’s look at what he says about it:
Colossians 4:2-6 (p. 835) –
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. 5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Let me say a few things about this passage before I get into how we can apply this here.
First of all, can you believe this guy?
He’s completely consumed with making sure people hear about Jesus.
He’s asking these people to pray that He can do that.
Oh – and he’s in prison. Why? Because he was telling people about Jesus.
If there was ever someone who had an excuse to sit back and say, “You know what? Someone else is gonna have to do that. I can’t. Time for the other guy to get moving on this,” it’s Paul.
He’s not thinking about retirement, he’s not even thinking about prison. He’s thinking about how he’s going to tell more people about Jesus when he gets out.
And yet the vast majority of Christians won’t even consider the idea of actually telling someone about Jesus themselves.
They think that it’s the pastor’s job, or Billy Graham’s job (by the way – he won’t be around much longer, so then what will your excuse be?), or the Sunday School teacher’s job.
Maybe 10% of any given congregation has the gift of evangelism, but we are all called to evangelize.
Maybe 10% of a congregation has the gift of giving, but we’re all called to give.
Some people have the gift of serving – but we’re all called to give.
Evangelism is no different. We need to be part of it.
And then after he asks the Colossians to pray for him, Paul turns the corner and says, “Oh by the way – make sure you’re living in such a way that you can share Jesus with others.
That’s what he means when he says, “…so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Answer them? What question would they ask that I’d have to have an answer for?
How about this one: “What is the reason you’re a Christian?”
“What’s the reason you’re so confident you’re going to heaven and I’m not?”
“How can I know I’m going to heaven when I die?”
The apostle Peter echoed this in one of his letters –
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
And in a few minutes I’m going to outline some ways that every single person here can get involved.
But before I get into that, I want to share something I found on a great website of a guy named Greg Stier who has a passion for helping especially teens share Christ. (www.gregstier.org) The comments on his points are his, not mine.
These are 10 ways NOT to share Christ:
1. Stand on the corner and scream “REPENT!” at others. If it didn’t work for Jeremiah the prophet, it won’t work for you.
2. Break into a public high school and shove gospel tracts into the lockers. Trust me on this. I’ve done it…seriously.
3. Wear a “Ready to die…ask me why” T-shirt. I’ve done this, too. It’s not effective, but it did scare people.
4. Go into a bookstore and secretly slip gospel tracts into all of the New Age/Witchcraft books. Have I done this? Maybe…okay, yes.
5. Put gospel tracts in the hands of the mannequins at JC Penny’s. While it looks like the fashion dummy is offering the gospel tract, it’s the real dummy that gets thrown out of the mall. Suffice it to say that I’ve met many security guards this way, and they are nothing like the guy in the movie, “Mall Cop.”
6. Use fake $100 bills with “the gospel” on them to get people excited that they found a $100 bill and then get them ticked off when they realize that they didn’t.
7. Go on Christian television and offer the gospel as a way to get rich on earth. Does anybody have a barf bag?
8. Skydive from 3,000 feet into an outdoor Atheist’s convention with “John 3:16” printed on your parachute.
9. Yell, “I love Jesus how ‘bout you?” in the middle of class.
10. Any kind of Christian bumper sticker (especially if you’re a bad driver!).
Four ways to engage in this awesome responsibility to help make the family of God bigger:
* Pray.
Pray for these three things for our church:
- That opportunities to reach people for Jesus will open and that we’ll recognize them.
- That we will speak clearly about Jesus.
We don’t want the message getting lost in the clutter of things like politics, denominationalism, and secondary issues that aren’t as important as people finding Jesus.
- That you would gain a heart for the lost.
This is where I think most people are stopped from getting involved in sharing Jesus with people.
They simply don’t have God’s concern for those outside of Jesus.
I don’t think that at the base of most people’s unwillingness to share Christ with others is anything like not knowing how to do it or anything like that.
I think they just don’t have the heart of God for the lost.
I think that if a person is truly devoted to prayer like Paul says to be here, God will cause them to be concerned for the lost around the world and in their neighborhood and in their family.
I don’t think that if a person has a real connection with God in prayer that they will be able to escape gaining God’s heart for those who face an eternity in the fires of hell without Jesus and won’t want them to find Him.
If that’s you, then at least have enough guts to ask God to give that heart.
Jesus suffered and died for you. You took the opportunity of eternal life.
They need that same opportunity.
The second way to get involved in making the family of God bigger is to..
* Learn to live in ways that attract people to Christ.
Verse 5 –
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
We’ve all heard the charge that Christians are hypocrites.
How about showing them that that’s not true in your life? That you’re the same person in church that you are outside of the church.
Hopefully that’s a good thing, okay?
“Hey, I’m a jerk all week, so I’m going to be one in church, too. Don’t want to be a hypocrite, you know!”
How about just being a guy or gal who lives like other people matter.
People who understand that others notice who we are and how we live and they know you call yourself a Christian and they’re measuring you against that.
And when they see you living up to that standard, or at least trying to live up to that, they respect you, and they are much more likely to listen to you about Jesus and why they need Him so desperately.
The third way to get involved in helping the family of God grow bigger is to…
* Learn to speak in ways that attract people to Christ.
Verse 6 –
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…
I don’t mean learn to speak “Christianese.”
You’ll notice I don’t say stuff like “born again,” “redeemed,” “washed in the blood,” “sanctified,” and lots of other “church words.”
I don’t even use the word “saved” very much because a lot of people don’t understand. “Saved from what?”
That stuff can actually get in the way because pretty soon we start speaking a different language altogether expecting people to understand it.
Yes, they are biblical CONCEPTS - but they are not biblical WORDS. They are ENGLISH words describing biblical concepts. The important thing isn’t the words - the important thing is communicating the concepts - and you need to choose words and phrases that communicate to the people you’re talking to.
But what I’m really getting at here is getting rid of things like slander and gossip and lying.
Being gentle in your tone of voice and not answering people harshly when they disagree with you about something.
Speaking positively about people, especially behind their backs.
Speaking like you really do love Jesus, and it rings true because you’re actually living like you love Jesus.
The fourth way to get involved in helping the family of God grow bigger is to…
* Learn how to share the gospel.
I know – St. Francis said something like, “Share the gospel – if necessary, use words.”
First of all, he didn’t really say that. He said something else that has been transformed into what people say he said.
Second, that’s not saying we shouldn’t use words, it means that we need to live lives that demonstrate the good news of Jesus as well as just talking about Him.
Folks, the Bible says we need to be ready to tell people about Him and how to have eternal life in heaven.
Here’s what you need to communicate:
> Everyone has sinned (broken God’s laws).
> We deserve hell for our sins.
> Jesus died and rose again so we could escape that penalty.
> We escape when we put our trust in Christ’s work on our behalf.
You might want to learn and memorize some Bible verses for each of those things, but if you’ll memorize Romans 6:23 you’ll have this stuff covered.
I’ve got it written in your note-taking guide.
But learn how to tell people of their need for Jesus. These four things apply to every single person on earth, and every person on earth needs to hear it.
There are lots of ways to communicate this message. If you want to learn more, let me know. I’ll gladly help you learn more ways to tell people about Jesus using these same four basics.
I’ll help you answer the objections people give when they don’t want to believe or follow Jesus.
I’ll do all I can to help you communicate the good news of Jesus to those God brings into your path.
Warning: if you learn to share the good news of Jesus and are serious about it, God WILL put you in situations where you will be able to share with people and possibly lead them to Christ.
I don’t lead someone to Christ every time I share Jesus with them. But I do it because that might be the time they put their faith in Him.
It’s been said that a person has to hear the salvation message of Jesus an average of seven times before they understand it enough to respond by giving their life to Christ.
I don’t know if that’s accurate or not. What I do know is that today might be the day they come to faith in Jesus, and if it’s not, they’re that much closer because they heard the message again.
It’s not my job to drag them to Jesus. My job is to tell them about Him, talk with them about what’s keeping them from Him, and do all I can to overcome their objections.
But ultimately, no one comes to Jesus unless the Holy Spirit draws them. It’s the Spirit’s job to do the final convincing.
The Bible talks about how Paul and others used many convincing arguments to explain the good news of Jesus.
So it’s not like we shouldn’t be prepared to “argue” our case for Jesus in the legal, debating sense of the term.
But we have to understand that unless the Holy Spirit opens their hearts and minds to understand that message, they won’t come to Jesus.
So we share and we pray, trusting Him to do His work in that person’s life.
We: Folks, healthy churches grow.
Healthy churches grow in the number of disciples they make and the number of people they influence for Jesus in a given area.
It’s our responsibility as a church to help as many people as possible find forgiveness of sins and a home in heaven through Jesus and live for Him.
I still believe that this church is called by God to reach literally thousands of people for Him in this area.
When you choose to get involved with that, then not only does the overall health of the church improve, the health of your personal relationships in the church will grow, too, because of your common objective of seeing Christ honored and seeing His kingdom grow.
Please – get on board. Let’s pray.
