Ephesians 4:26-5:2
Anger - Part 2
January 10, 2010
Last week we began talking about anger and my plan was to talk about anger in more practical terms this week . . . how do we recognize anger and how to deal with anger . . . and more.
But I want to move in a different, but practical direction and unpack our scripture reading from Ephesians. This week I felt God was leading me to help us look a little more deeply into this passage and see what Paul was saying so that we could understand it’s relevance in our lives.
One of the things we need to remember when we read the letters from Paul, is that these are just that . . . letters. When you and I receive a letter from a loved one, or from someone we haven’t seen in a long time, we sit and read the entire letter, from start to finish. We don’t make chapters or put headings in our letters, like some Bibles do . . . we just write until we’re finished.
Well, that’s exactly what Paul was doing. He was responding to some concerns in Ephesus, writing some theology and giving some practical instruction. So, it’s important when reading one of Paul’s letters to remember to read it as a whole. This is important when we read this section in the book of Ephesians. Because, you see, the first part of Ephesians 4 is so powerful . . . as Paul talks about the oneness in the church. And this section will lead us to talk about the later section in chapter 4, but we need to understand where Paul was coming from and what God wants for His people. Listen to these words from Paul ~
4:2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is ONE body and ONE Spirit — just as you were called to ONE hope when you were called — 5ONE Lord, ONE faith, ONE baptism; 6ONE God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Folks, this is one of the best descriptions of what the church is supposed to be about. It is tremendously powerful, and carries with it the power to transform the world. Let’s think about this statement from Paul for a moment, which will lead us to jump into our discussion of anger.
In this passage, according to Paul, how are we (believers in Christ) supposed to act?
We are supposed to BE COMPLETELY humble and gentle; add lots of patience, and on top of that, we’re supposed to bear with one another in love. This means we don’t think too highly of ourselves, we are kind and gentle, even meek (which means having power but not using it); we are longsuffering or patient with one another, then we are to bear or tolerate and endure one another, doing it in love. This doesn’t mean we accept sin, it means we love one another through our sinfulness. WOW!! That’s a mouthful right there. But Paul in all of his beauty isn’t done.
We are then told we need to make every effort, not an occasional - when we fee like it - effort, but make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit of God through peace. It doesn’t mean we must always agree with one another, it’s okay to have conflict, confrontation, disagreements, and even to become angry with one another, but we must do this with humility, gentleness, patience, and bear with one another in love.
Now . . . why are we supposed to do this? Look at verses 4, 5 and 6 ~ 4There is ONE body and ONE Spirit — just as you were called to ONE hope when you were called — 5ONE Lord, ONE faith, ONE baptism; 6ONE God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
You see, we are ONE. That is so vitally important in who we are and how we are supposed to act as Christ followers. If it were not for Jesus Christ, we would not be here, and if we were, we would simply be a social club. But, because of who Jesus is in our lives, we become one body when we become the church. This should dictate how we act whenever and wherever we go. It means because we are the church and we are one body, with one Lord, One Spirit, One Father, One hope and One faith - - - Jesus, the Christ, the risen Savior, we must be different than the rest of the world. We can no longer act the old way, when we were without Christ. We must use the power of the Holy Spirit and become different people, all because we are part of the one body, which is the church.
It means when we gather together, we can disagree, we can have passionate discussion, but we look at one another with humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love, seeking to experience the Spirit of peace in our gatherings. Now, where is anger in that magnificent passage from Paul? It’s nowhere to be found. And it’s not that you cannot become angry, it’s how we play it out.
And this leads us to the scripture I briefly mentioned last week, Ephesians 4:26-5:2.
In Ephesians 4:26-27, Paul wrote ~
26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold.
As I mentioned last week, this verse and others, indicate there is such a thing as Christian anger. And not that we want a lot of angry Christians walking around, but sadly, too many Christians struggle with showing appropriate anger, or even denying the fact that they experience anger. I believe when we fail to recognize our own anger, we end up sinning, hurting ourselves and those around us, as well as possibly spreading evil.
Let me digress a little about this for a moment . . . .
Scripture plainly teaches that there are two kinds of anger, righteous and unrighteous. In verse 31 ‘anger’ is one of a number of things we are supposed to get rid of. Paul is referring to unrighteous anger. But in 5:6 we are told the anger or wrath of God will fall on the disobedient, and we know God’s anger is righteous. So was Jesus’ anger. So, there must be a good and true anger which God’s people can learn from Him.
Let me go one step further and say that there is a great need in our world for more Christian anger. I know I just said we don’t need more angry Christians running around the streets, yet, I’m not talking about our backwards way of complaining and our lack of joy. What I’m trying to say is that all too often we compromise with sin in a way in which God never does. In the face of blatant evil we should be indignant not tolerant, angry not apathetic. If God hates sin, then, we, His people should hate it, too. If evil arouses God’s anger, it should arouse ours too. In Psalm 119:53, we read, “Hot indignation seizes me because of the wicked, who forsake thy law.” What other reaction can wickedness be expected to provoke for those who love God?
We could go on with a lot of things in the world which make us angry, and my point today is not to start listing my top ten sins in the world, but for us to realize, our inaction may be viewed as acceptance of sin.
In light of what Paul said at the beginning of this chapter, about the Oneness of the church, it’s pretty amazing Paul is now talking about anger. Remember, Ephesians is a letter which has been primarily devoted to God’s new society of love, and in a section where Paul just finished talking about harmonious relationships within the church, he now talks about anger and our conduct. He does so because true peace is not identical with appeasement. In such a world as this, the truest peace-maker may have to assume the role of a peace-breaker as a sacred obligation.
At the same time, we always have to be on our guard and act as censors of our own anger. If we are wise, we will follow the formula in James 1, to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Okay, back to this section of scripture.
As we look at verses 26 and 27, Paul qualifies our ability to become angry be following it up with 3 potential negatives.
First, he tells us when we are angry . . . do not sin. We have to make sure that our anger is free from injured pride, spite, malice, animosity and the spirit of revenge. This will lead us to examine ourselves about our reasons for becoming angry. We’ll talk about this in greater detail next week. Suffice it to say, when you’re angry, check on yourself, how are you acting. This past Friday night, we watched Super Nanny on television. And you could see unbridled anger in this entire family. Parents talking over and arguing with one another and never realizing it. They were sinning, even though it showed them praying at dinner, they still had no control over their anger, and that lack of control is sin.
Secondly, Paul said, do not let the sun go down on your anger. This is a warning for us not to nurse or hold onto our anger. Rarely is it safe to allow the embers to continue to smolder. Yet, at the same time, there are times when the hurt is so great that anger and forgiveness does not immediately go away. We’ll talk more about that in a few weeks, when we deal with forgiveness and what we do with the intensity of our pain and anger.
Thirdly, we are not to give the devil a foothold. The devil knows the fine line between righteous and unrighteous anger, and when you think about it, and how hard we find it to handle our anger responsibly. Often times there is a fine line between the two types of anger. Just because we’re angry, does not mean it’s appropriate or righteous. This goes back to understanding the source of our anger.
satan loves to lurk around angry people, hoping to exploit the situation to his own advantage by provoking them into hatred, bitterness, slander, gossip, violence or a breach of fellowship. I often talk about this passage in pre-marital counseling. You see, when we go to sleep next to our spouse and we have unresolved anger, and have not spoken about it with one another, it becomes a little easier the next time to prolong that anger and avoid the discussion.
We all know what it’s like when we are angry at someone, and we avoid them. We may tell others, but we don’t tell the person we’re angry at, so when we see them coming, we avoid them, and that my friends is giving the devil a foothold in your life. Remember the person you’re avoiding may not even know why you’re angry.
Now, Paul goes on in verse 29 to say ~ 29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may impart grace to those who hear.
Paul reminds us, on top of not allowing anger to run our lives, we should use our speech for good, not for bad. Have you ever thought about the fact that speech and talking to people is an amazing gift from God. It’s one of our human capacities which reflects our likeness to God. Think about it, speech distinguishes us from animals. Cows can moo, dogs bark, cats hiss, donkeys bray, pigs grunt, lambs bleat, lions roar, monkeys squeal and birds sing, but only people speak.
So, Paul commands us, let no evil talk come out of your mouths. The word evil, unwholesome or corrupt (sapros) comes from the Greek word used to describe rotten trees and rotten fruit. We can then assume Paul is talking about our speech being rotten, vulgar, unkind, hurtful; and Paul now tells us to use our speech to build others up and not to hurt or damage them. And note that Paul reminds us we are to look at their unique needs, not ours as we seek to build up and encourage one another. When we can speak to one another like that, we ultimately impart grace to those who hear. And how powerful is that, when we can be bearers of God’s grace to others.
Jesus taught the great significance of our speech. Our words reveal what is in our hearts as Jesus said in Matthew 15:11, “it is not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” Also, He said, we will have to give an account on judgment day of every careless word we have spoken (Mt. 12:36-37).
If we are truly a new creation of God, then we will undoubtedly develop new standards of conversation. Instead of hurting people with our words, we will want to use them to help, encourage, cheer, comfort and stimulate them. Consider Proverbs 12:18 - “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Paul ends this section by listing 6 unpleasant or negative attitudes we are supposed to get rid of. Listen to this list, and see where anger very obviously fits in to these. Paul wrote ~ 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Do you see this list on the screen? Paul is telling us get rid of all ~
bitterness (pikria), which literally means a sour spirit and sour speech.
Rage (thymos) and anger (orge), the former denoting a passionate rage and the latter a more settled and sullen hostility.
Brawling (krauge) which describes people who get excited, raise their voices in a quarrel, and start shouting and screaming at each other.
Slander (blasphemia) is speaking evil of others, especially behind their backs, and defaming and destroying someone’s reputation.
Malice (kakia) is ill will, wishing and plotting against people.
Do you hear those? And do you see where anger literally fits into each and every one of those 6 attitudes. Folks, there is no place for any of these in Christian community, they must never be tolerated.
In their place we are to 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. What’s Paul getting at? We should encourage and welcome the kind of qualities which characterize the behavior of God. We are to be kind and compassionate, tenderhearted to one another.
Then as we finish, look at the final touches on Paul’s words from Ephesians 5:1-2 ~ 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Who are we to imitate? God. Nobody else should be our example. So, Paul concludes we should live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, being a sacrifice for you and I.
Paul never said you cannot be angry. God became angry, and we can become angry. But it’s all a matter of how we play it out in life. Over everything we do, it means live a life of love as you imitate God.
