Ephesians 5:3-14
Living a life of sexual purity
Sometimes when watching the news on TV some footage might be coming up - say a bomb explosion or war scene - and before they show the footage there is an announcement something like this: This footage contains scenes which may offend some viewers. In other words, they want to warn you before they show the footage. And today, I feel a bit like that with this sermon. Firstly, this sermon today is mainly about sexual immorality. Im not going to be graphic, Im not going to go beyond how the Bible describes things, but nevertheless, if you have young children in the service who are old enough to understand what Im saying and who havent yet gone down to Kingdom Kids, you might want to think about taking them out for this sermon. On the other hand, if you are a teenager, you are becoming aware of the issues we are going to talk about today and so this sermon will hopefully be quite helpful to those of you in that age bracket, so stay and listen!
And for the rest, as we go through todays passage, just about everyone here is going to be challenged at some point - about behaviour in the past, or the present. Some of you may even find what I say offensive, you may not agree with me. So as we do cover these verses, I want to ask you to bear with me. Firstly, if I say something that is hard hitting, a bit hard to take, remember Im not trying to offend but merely doing my best to explain the Bible and what it means to us today. And if you hear something today that is challenging, remember that you are here today in church, I hope because you want to learn more about what God says to us through the Bible. Sometimes the Bible exposes things in our lives that are uncomfortable and that we need to deal with. So today, if the Bible says something, if it addresses some sin in your life, I urge you to do what the Bible says. Do something about it. I and the church leadership are here to help you too, to counsel, pray with you through it.
I also need to say that this is a big topic and I am going to speak longer than usual. I tried to cut down the sermon but in the end felt I needed to say everything that is in it. So please bear with me in that.
Today, we are going to talk about sex. The world is full of sex. It has to be none of would be here without it. But the world is also full of lots of ideas about sex that are just plain wrong, and we are confronted with them every day. We live in a society where sexual morals are very different to a generation or two ago. We live in a society
where marriage is optional. You can live with someone, even have kids and there is no need to get married. If you do get married, and things dont work out, its quite okay to get divorced and marry someone else. Before marriage it is regarded as okay to sleep around. Casual sex is regarded by society as normal and acceptable. And the biggest change in last few years is that it is becoming acceptable for men to have sexual relationships with other men and women with women. This is seen as progressive. Laws are enacted giving same sex couples the same rights as heterosexual couples in the name of human rights and equality. In some countries, homosexuals can even marry.
What are we in the church to think of all this? Some churches embrace the new morality. Surely what people do in their privacy of their own homes is their business? How does it hurt anyone if I sleep with my girlfriend? Or sleep with anyone male or female - for that matter? If its in the privacy of my home, how does that hurt you? Its not like Im stealing from someone, not like murdering someone. And some churches have accepted the new morality. Even to the point, in the case of homosexuality, of not just accepting practicising homosexuals into membership, but of ordaining them as pastors and even bishops.
What are we to make of all this? Probably nearly all of us here have some sort of sexual impulses. Is it okay to do what we like? Who says what is right, and what is wrong? Well, no matter what society says, society did not make us. Who made us? God made us. Therefore He is the one who has the sole right to tell us what to do. He wrote the instruction manual for life. So today we are going to look at that instruction manual - the Bible. So hold on, it will be challenging, confronting.
The first verse in our passage is EPH 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
Thats pretty blunt. What are these things, sexual immorality, impurity and greed? Sexual immorality the Greek word is porneia πορνεια. I think you can see what that word means! Its where we get the English word porn from. The word means any kind of sexual activity that is not within the boundaries of marriage. In English the word is fornication, which means having sex with someone you are not married to. This includes adultery that is, a married person having sex with someone who is not their spouse. It includes living together that is, having a monogomamous sexual relationship with someone but not being married to them - what we call a de-facto relationship. It also includes any homosexual activity, incest and visiting prostitutes. Thats pretty broad. And we can see that the Bible is pretty clear about these types of sexual immorality. Any type of sexual activity that is not with your husband or wife - it says in this one word - is sin. God gave us sex to enjoy, but only within the bounds of marriage. Anything else, is porneia - sexual immorality.
The next word here impurity or uncleanness - can mean anything which makes us unclean morally, and in this context refers to impurity in the area of sexuality.
The next word is translated as greed in the New International Verson and covetousness in the English Standard Version and New King James Version. It needs a little bit of explanation. The word, as the English words greed and covetousess mean means wanting to get something you dont have. And in this context it refers the desire to get sex you dont have or that you arent entitled to. In other words, it means, lust. Now all of us can have this problem, but I think us men are particularly prone to it. You see, sexual immorality is not just doing immoral sexual acts in the flesh, but its also imagining doing them. Or desiring to do sexual acts with someone we shouldnt be doing them with. Jesus spoke about this very thing
MT 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Okay - so weve just run through what sexual sins are, and Id say many of us have been guilty either past or present, especially when we realise that even lust - the desire, the imaginations of our mind - also count as sexual sin. But Im afraid we arent finished! The next verse says: 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. What is this talking about? Basically - about smutty talk. Rude jokes. Jokes with sexual innuendo. These are not things that the child of God should be talking about.
Now what have we just talked about? Things we ought not to do? Things that are not fitting for Gods people to do? Adultery even thinking about it. Sex before marriage even fantasising about it. Homosexuality. Prostititution. Even rude jokes - talking about things that ought not to be talked about. Sexual innuendo.
Now as Ive gone through this list theres probably a number of reactions from you. Some of you probably agree 100% with what Ive said. Some of you might agree 100% with what Ive just said but if find it really hard to be pure. Some of you might agree with me partially. Perhaps the bits about prosititution and adultery fair enough theyre wrong. But surely whats wrong with young ones in their 20s, before theyre married, having a bit of fun, releasing some sexual tension - surely that doesnt hurt anyone? And what about a couple who want to just try out living together, making sure they are sexually compatible before they go and tie the knot - surely thats not hurting anyone? And what about the two men who really sincerely love each other? They are faithful to each other - whats the harm in that? And what about us who are faithful to our spouses, or if not married, weve kept ourselves pure - whats wrong with a bit of a look? When down at the beach having a bit of a look at those girls in bikinis or the underwear section of the junk mail? Having a bit of a look window shopping - surely theres no harm in that?
Surely Paul was a bit of a prude. Thats what the world tries to tell us - even what some church leaders tell us. Paul wrote 2000 years ago. This is 2010 - times have changed. We need to get with it in the church if we are to be relevant. And indeed many are getting with it. Some churches have divorce ceremonies for those who wish to move onto a different partner. Some churches marry gay couples. Surely we need to update our morality in the 21st century. After all the NT was written in a different age, an age when sexual morals were much stricter than today?
But that is actually not true. The world Paul wrote in did not have stricter morals than today. When we think of the past and of sexual morals, we normally think of the Victorian era, which was stricter than today. But the Victorian era was only a bit over 100 years ago. Paul lived 2000 years ago. That era had nothing to do with the Victorian era. In that time morals were far worse than today. Yes, in Israel, where the Jews lived morals were pretty strict. But Paul was not writing to Jews in Israel. He was writing to Gentile converts in Ephesus, which was in the Greek world. Ancient Greek society was known for being extremely sexually permissive. It was far far worse than our society today, if you can believe it. It was said in Greek society
that a man had a lover for pleasure, prostitutes for casual sexual relationships and a wife in order to have children. By the way those lovers and prosititutes could be men or boys. Homosexuality was not considered wrong at all. All this was normal in the Greek world, all this was quite socially acceptable. Paul was not writing to a prudish society. He was writing to a society where there were few sexual restraints. Even the religion was based on Artemis a goddess of fertility - that is a sex goddess. The local religion was based on immoral sexual acts and on prostitutes who lived in the temple.
And Paul is writing to people who have come out of that and who perhaps might be tempted to go back to that. Thats why he writes in verse 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words. Empty words. What we are told, when we are told to accept things God says are wrong, when we are told that it is okay to have casual sex, to have a fling, to fantasise about a movie star, or that girl on the street with the skimpy top, we are told that that is okay, that that is toleration, that that is modern. But brothers and sisters, these are empty words, empty words trying to lead us astray! We are told that such things cant hurt us. After all, sexuality is a private matter, and what two consenting adults do together is really no-one elses business. Its not like murder or stealing or fraud which hurts someone else. But these are empty words! They are false. Lies.
Why? Lets see. What does God say about sexual impurity? Have you already noticed verse 5? 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Look at the first bit. For of this you can be sure. Its pretty blunt, pretty direct. The ones who practice sexual immorality, the ones who are unclean, impure, the ones who are greedy that is the ones who desire and fantasise about illicit sexual relationships. And these people are called idolators. This may help us to understand why God is so against these sins. In the Old Testament idolatory was regarded as a terrible sin. Why? Because it is an afront to God. It is a slap in the face to God. People the created ones - telling the true God that He doesnt exist and instead worshipping things, images, statues, made with their own hands. And now Paul compares impurity to that. Why? Perhaps because sex improper sex - can become like a god, can consume someone. Actually the word in vs 3 greed, and in verse 5 greedy, this word means greed, covetousness to the extend of desiring something so badly that you feel forced to have it. Sexual passion can be like that. It can dominate a person, capturing their thoughts, and taking the place of God in their life. So the person ensnared in sexual sin is an idolator. Sex has become their god. And because of that, it says here in black and white, that person has no inheritance in the kingdom of God.
That word inheritance, weve seen it before in Ephesians. Do you remember back in chapter one we talked about the inheritance we have in Christ? An inheritance much greater than that of Lachlan Murdock or Paris Hilton. Better than a newpaper or hotel empire. What a wonderful inheritance we have in Christ! BUT!!! The sexually immoral person does not share in that inheritance. That is a hard saying. It is a tough saying. But we cant avoid it, it is here in black and white.
And if we ignore it we are like the patient who goes to the doctor and the doctor says, you have cancer, you need an operation to get it out or you will die, and the patient doesnt like to think he has cancer, or doesnt want the operation so he ignores the doctors advice and doesnt believe him. Will that make the cancer go away? What will happen to the patient? He will die. We ignore this verse to our peril. Not to Gods peril. But our peril. And if you are struggling in this area, you ignore it to your peril. What a bleak picture.
And at this point you might be asking - what happened to Grace? In chatper one, when we talked about this inheritance, the wonderful things Christ has done for us, it was pretty clear it wasnt because of anything wed done that we receive this wonderful inheritance. It was a gift from God, which is what we call grace. How then can this be called grace if our bad works condemn us? But you see, we are saved by grace. God saved us not because we were sinless, either in the area of sexuality or any other area. He came and died for us while we were still sinners. If you are a Christian, Christ drew you to Himself while you were a sinner and for some of you, it may have been while you were ensnared in this type of sin - in sexual sin. But when God saved us by His grace, He saved us from death and took us to life. Remember weve been talking about the contrast - the contrast between the old life and the new. If you are truly saved, there will be change.And our passage refers to this.
Verse 8 says EPH 5:8 For you were once darkness. It doesnt say, you were once in darkness. It says, you once were darkness. Thats pretty heavy. Before we came to Christ we were darkness! In the darkness of our sins. But now! Now what? 8b but now you are light in the Lord. If youre a Christian you have been given the Holy Spirit and the power to live a new life. You have a new self, youve put off the old self, which means we are no longer darkness but light! But Paul is a realist - he realises we need to be reminded of that at times. The rest of verse 8 says: 8c Live as children of light. Yes, even though we are Christians, we still struggle with living as light. We still struggle with putting off the old self and putting on the new. Some of you may still be struggling with sexual sin in the flesh. And a lot more may still be stuggling with sexual sin in the mind. And to be honest, that area of the mind, especially for us men, will probably be something we battle with all our lives. But even though it may be a constant battle we must not give up. Because if let our minds go and engage in impure thoughts, not only is that sin in itself, but if your mind is not disciplined, given the opportunity, given the temptation, then it can easily become a sin in the flesh too and you could endanger your marriage, your family. And if not married, you endanger the opportunity to give your future spouse the wonderful gift of your virginity.
So Paul reminds us to live as children of light. So how do we do this? How do we overcome in this area? Well, firstly, as verse 10 says, 10 find out what pleases the Lord. As Christians, those who love the Lord our desire ought to be to please the Lord. So as this verse says: find out what pleases the Lord. How do we do that? Read the Bible His word, His instructions are there. A study of this passage and others
will help us realise that pure lives is what He desires. So firstly hopefully you want to please God, and one way of doing this is by living a life of purity. So if you are struggling in this area, the first step is to resolve to change so that you can live a life pleasing to God.
Our passage then gives us instructions about how to overcome in this area. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. I once saw someone with a t-shirt that read: If youre not driving close to the edge of the road, youre taking up too much room. Thats how many approach life. We want to know whats not allowed - the bare minimum, and then we want to go as close as possible to the edge as we can. Whats the question that dating couples often ask? How far can we go before its sin? How far can we go? Thats the question we ask. But its not what the Bible says. Notice verse 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness. Nothing to do with them. 1 Corinthinas 6:18 says Flee from sexual immorality. Flee! Not go as close as you possibly can. Flee!
A good example of someone fleeing was Joseph way back in Old Testament times. His masters wife took a fancy to him and tried to lure him into bed with her. Josephs reaction: GE 39:11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. No-one would have seen if Joseph had succumbed. But his integrity was at stake. He didnt stay and reason with the woman. He fled.
If we dont flee from sexual immorality things can go downhill very quickly. Look how quickly King David fell into sin because he didnt flee from it.
2SA 11:2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.
First of all, what was David doing on the roof of his palace walking around, from where he could see down into peoples coutyards? Perving. Then when we saw Bathsheba bathing, why didnt he quickly turn around and head back downstairs? Instead, he found out her name, and found out that she was married! Then he invited her over and the next thing we know hes in bed with her.
What about you and I - do we flee from sexual immorality? Remember we talked about impurity being not just in our actions, but our minds too, our attitudes. What can we do to flee from sexual temptation? Firstly if you struggle in this area in the area of the mind - and us men particularly struggle in this area - avoid being in situations where you see things that get impure thoughts going. If you have trouble with impure thoughts after seeing scantily clad women at the beach, then you might need to avoid the beach, or crowded areas of the beach where you are likely to be tempted. Avoid TV shows, movies, magazines where there are images that can set off battles in your minds. Watch out for the internet. If you have troubles straying onto websites you shouldnt be visiting, then do something about it. Put on an internet monitoring programme, such as x3watch.com or covenanteyes.com. If its that bad stay away from the internet.
If youre actually been tempted by someone, someone trying to flirt with you - avoid that person. If thats not possible, make it very clear you arent interested.
This might sound hard for some of you - avoiding the beach, TV, internet if those are snares for you. But look at what Jesus said:
MT 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
This is serious business. It is better to sacrifice the beach, the TV, the internet or limit them somehow - if thats going to help you live a life of purity.
Now in the area of lust, men struggle more than women. But women, you can also help your brothers by being careful in what you wear. ecause women arent as turned on visually in the same way men are, its often hard to realise how what you wear or dont wear can turn men on! Its winter now, but in Queenslandd in summer, we tend to loosen up in the area of clothing. Now Im not asking you to wear a burqa! But please do be careful what you wear. Watch out for those revealing clothes that can turn men on and make it more difficult for them to be pure in their minds!
Brothers and sisters, we also need to watch our attitudes. We talked before about how the world tries to tell us that sexual freedom is good, that we need to be tolerant and so on. So be careful where you are forming your attitudes towards sex. henever you watch a TV show or read a novel that promotes immorality as being okay, it is influencing your own morals and standards. Who here hasnt read a book or watched a movie, where the love struck stars are about to die. Its their last night here on earth. Theyre not married - or at least not to each other, but this is their last chance to go the whole way, be united physically - and the author, the film-maker, has got us into egging them on go for it! Sleep together, before its too late. But hey thats sin! And watching, reading too much of that changes our ideas of what is right and what is wrong. Be careful about what is forming your attitudes and morals. So as verse 11 says: - have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness.
And as verse 12 says, we shouldnt even talk about some of the viler things that are done in secret. Watch what we talk about. If the people at work are talking dirty, dont involved. If you can, walk away. If you cant, ask them to stop if you can. If you cant, dont get involved in their gutter talk. Instead as Christians, we are now light not darkness, and we ought to strive, with the Holy Spirits help, to live as children as light. As we do that, as we live lives of purity, people will notice. And as it says in verse 13 and 14 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14 for it is light that makes everything visible. Our lives of purity will be a witness of Gods standards to the world around us.
Okay, I will soon finish! Todays message has been a hard hitting one. Some of you may never have had a problem in this area. But to be honest, I think most of us have sruggled with this area in the past, and many still struggle. And in our sexually charged society, we have a continual struggle to put off the old self. We are going to have to be on guard our whole lives in this area. If today you realise you are struggling in this area, dont push the problem under the carpet. You cant hide from God, whether the sin is in your mind or in your actions, no matter how secret you may think it is. If you are struggling, repent: there is forgivness in Christ. And walk in the light. Practically, Ill try and get a list out in the next few weeks of resources - of things like internet filters and books that you can read if you need further help. And of course I and the leadership of the church are here to help you through this too. You may have further questions too, and want further advice please come and see one of us.
The last part of our passage today says:
14b "Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."
Christ has woken us from the dead, we are risen with Him, in order to live pure lives that glorify Him.
