Dealing With Diversity
Romans 14:13-18
Rev. Brian Bill
10/3/10
I had a really rough week, especially at the beginning. Untold numbers of people were very mean to me. Whether it was on the phone, via email, through Facebook, or in person, I felt attacked on every side. The persecution was relentless and I’m sure I did nothing to deserve it. I knew that some of you wouldn’t believe me so I saved some of the evidence. Here’s what people said to me on Tuesday…
* “Cheese Soup today.”
* “It’s not too late to become a Bears fan. I also think they had some divine intervention...” (I can’t believe this one because everyone knows the Packers are God’s team).
* “Hey! [There is] a vitamin supplement called B-complex. It’s for stress and to calm nerves. I figured after last night’s game you’re getting a lot of harassment (she’s right about that) and might be stressed out (no, just waiting for January 2nd).”
* On Facebook I posted this as my status: “My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.” People had the nerve to make comments like these: “Is that so you can forget the scores of certain football games?” Someone else said, “Well, let me help you out…the Bears beat the Packers last night!”
* Here’s one more (that’s all I can take). “We don’t want to add any ‘salt’ into the wounds…after all, last night you had way too much ‘Peppers.’”
This behavior was not limited to the weekdays. Someone had the nerve to desecrate my office last Sunday morning by putting a Bears jacket on my chair between services. When I saw it, I put some gloves on, took the jacket off the chair and threw it in the wastebasket. I had to use hand sanitizer when I was done. On Friday night at the Indians game we sat behind Todd and Alona Farney and I found out that it was Todd who did this dastardly deed. I told him that I should have taken his jacket to the dumpster!
What’s the deal with all this dissin’, anyway? I don’t ask for any of this. I thought we were supposed to overcome our judgmental attitudes and disagree without being disagreeable. Oh well, I guess I’m going to have to do a bit more “Packer preaching” until you see the light. This just shows that we are a very conflicted community. Our topic today is, “Dealing With Diversity” from Romans 14:13-18. Please turn there in your Bibles.
Homework Review
Let’s look at the first word in Romans 14:13: The word “therefore” ties this next section into what we just learned in the first 12 verses. Someone last week told me to stop with the sermons because there was too much to apply. Well, I don’t think I can stop but I do agree that this material has been a bit overwhelming and certainly very convicting.
Two weeks ago we focused on two ways that we can disagree without being disagreeable:
* Lose the arrogant attitude
* Live for the Lord alone
Last week we were in Romans 14:9-12 and we learned how to overcome a judgmental spirit:
* Focus on the fundamentals of our faith
* Analyze our attitudes
* Consider our coming judgment
How did you do on the homework assignment?
1. Live life as if each day is your last day.
2. Confess your sins and repent from the way you’ve been living.
3. Send your money on ahead.
4. Give grace instead of words of woe to others.
5. Witness like crazy because life is short, judgment is real, hell is hot and eternity is forever.
6. Put yourself in the shoes of others. Someone passed on some wisdom related to this: “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
By the way, the sermon last week was a good example of the importance of verse-by-verse expository preaching. Since we’re roamin’ through every word in the Book of Romans, we are forced to deal with topics that we might otherwise avoid, like the judgment seat of Christ.
If we ended with verse 12 it would be easy to get the impression that we must just stop judging and leave those who are different alone. But in this next section we’ll see that we must be involved and engaged with one another. As I studied the passage, here’s what came through for me: What I do affects you! Turn to the person next to you and repeat this refrain: What I do affects you!
This is difficult because we know that we have liberty through Christ and don’t have to jump through a bunch of legalistic hoops. Nor do we have to follow someone else’s rules or regulations. We live in the land of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That means that we can live as we please, right? No, not exactly. Here are two guiding principles from 1 Corinthians. One has to do with you and the other with others.
* Avoid those things that have the potential to master you. We see this in 1 Corinthians 6:12: “‘Everything is permissible for me’ - but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ - but I will not be mastered by anything.”
* Avoid those things that have the potential to mess others up. Check out 1 Corinthians 10:23-24: “‘Everything is permissible’ - but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’ - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.”
These two truths are summed up in Galatians 5:13: “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” In order to deal with diversity, we need to remember that what I do affects you. I like how Luther said it: “A Christian is a most free lord of all, subject to none…A Christian is a most dutiful servant of all, subject to all.” The last two weeks the emphasis was primarily on attitudes. Today and next week we’ll be analyzing our actions. Let’s lock in to two truths found in our passage for today.
Analyzing Our Actions
1. Let love limit our liberty (13-16). Look at the first part of Romans 14:13: “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another…” We’re to stop doing something that we’re in the habit of doing. Literally, “Let us no longer have the habit of judging.” I read about a preacher who kept a special book labeled, “Complaints of Members Against One Another.” When one of them would tell him about some fault of a fellow parishioner, he would say, “Well, here’s my complaint book. I’ll write down what you say, and you can sign your name to it. When I see that person, I’ll take up the matter with him.” That open ledger, and the critic’s awareness of his own faults, always had a restraining effect. Immediately the complainer would exclaim, “Oh, no, I couldn’t sign anything like that!” In 40 years that book was opened a thousand times, but no entry was ever made.
Next Paul uses a play on words in the Greek to say that if we want to judge then go for it. There is someone that we should judge, and that’s ourselves! “…Instead, make up your mind…” This literally means, “Judge this rather…” We’re to make up our minds because our actions can cause adverse harm to others.
We see this in verses 13-15: “Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.” Do you see that phrase in verse 15? “You are no longer acting in love.” We’re to make sure we’re letting love limit our liberty in four specific ways.
* Remove stumbling blocks. Look at verse 13: “Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling…in your brother’s way.” This is a call for action. The Apostle Paul was really passionate about this as it tore him up when he heard that someone had succumbed to sin. Listen to what he wrote in 2 Corinthians 11:29: “Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?” A “stumbling block” was literally something on a path against which someone would strike their foot and fall. We follow this principle when we celebrate communion by using grape juice instead of wine. We don’t want to do anything to cause someone with an alcohol addiction to stumble during a time that is meant to be so spiritually meaningful.
* Take away obstacles. Check out verse 13 again: “…not to put any…obstacle in your brother’s way.” An “obstacle” was a snare or trap that was used to catch an animal. It’s the idea of a rope that is pulled across a path in order to cause someone to fall. Are you putting any obstacles in anyone’s way today?
* Determine to not cause distress. Drop down to the first part of verse 15: “If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.” Our liberty must always be tempered by love as we recognize that our attitudes and actions often have an adverse effect on others. The word “distressed” has the idea of grieving as when a loved one dies. I am out of bounds if I use my freedom in such a way that it causes anguish to another. Remember this: the conscience isn’t always right, but it’s always wrong to violate it. Speaking of the conscience, someone commented that a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory!
Picture a married man named Joe who’s been taught all his life that if he ever takes off his wedding ring he’s breaking his marriage vows. This belief about his wedding ring has been passed down in Joe’s family from generation to generation. To take it off would be tantamount to trashing his vows. Now imagine that Joe has a friend named Randy who’s never heard of this belief. They get together on a Saturday to work on Joe’s car, and as they get ready to dive in, Randy takes off his wedding ring and puts it in his pocket so he doesn’t get any grease on it. Can you imagine Joe gasping as Randy takes off his ring? In Randy’s mind, he’s not even thinking about what he did because to him it has no correlation with how much he loves his wife.
That’s kind of like what the food laws were to newly-converted Jewish believers. In their minds, to eat meat violated their vows to God. When they saw other Christians munching on filet mignon, they were aghast, because to them it meant unfaithfulness to God. And so, we’re urged to act in love. This is God’s kind of love which chooses as an act of self-sacrifice to serve the recipient.
* Refuse to destroy your brother or sister. We see this in the last part of verse 15: “Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.” The word “destroy” is very strong and means to “tear down.” The root is used for the Devil, or Destroyer. When we destroy our spiritual siblings, we are acting like the devil.
Now let’s go back to Joe and Randy. Imagine that Randy pressures Joe to also take off his wedding ring. Joe gives in to the pressure and takes it off, but in his heart he feels as though he’s broken his marriage vows, and been unfaithful to his wife. When he goes home, he feels guilty because for the first time in his life, he’s crossed that line, at least in his mind. Paul is telling us here that if we’re really serious about pursuing love, we’ll think about how our liberty will affect someone else’s spiritual growth. Once Randy knows about Joe’s beliefs about wedding rings, love would dictate that he keep his ring on – at least when he’s with Joe. We should never do something that destroys the person for whom Christ died. If Christ loved him so much, can’t I curb my liberty for his sake?
This should shake us all up because in a very real sense we are our brother’s keeper. Verse 16 gives us the reason for all this. There’s a watching world out there and we should never destroy our witness: “Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.” One of the greatest preachers who ever lived was Charles Spurgeon. For most of his life, he smoked fine cigars and actually said that he could smoke “to the glory of God.” This all changed when he walked by a tobacco shop one day and saw a sign with this advertisement: “Try the cigars that Spurgeon smokes.” He realized then that his behavior could be a stumbling block or an obstacle or cause distress or worse, even destroy a believer. So he limited his liberty out of love. Is that something we’re willing to do? Let’s say it together again: What I do affects you!
I’m told that tourists in the Alps are cautioned at certain points by the guides not to speak or sing or even to whisper because the faintest breath may cause reverberations in the air causing an avalanche. In commenting on this, one pastor points out, “There are men and women who are walking under such stress of burdens, cares, responsibilities, sorrows and temptations that one whisper of censure, criticism, complaint or unkindness may cause them to fall under their load.”
2. Focus on eternal realities, not on external regulations (17-18). The bottom line, when it comes down to it, isn’t whether someone feels the freedom to eat meat or abstain, or take off a ring or leave it on, but that the kingdom of God, according to verse 17, is “not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” We’re to exercise discretion due to our diversity but get excited about real kingdom living! Another way to say it is that we’re to major on the majors (kingdom living) and minor on the minors (disputable matters).
We’re not to emphasize our personal rights but instead we’re to focus on what really matters. It’s not the externals, but the eternals that must be first in our life. I listened to a sermon this week that was preached over 25 years ago. It was interesting to hear the preacher talk about all the “dos” and “don’ts” that we associate with legalism. While I’m glad we’ve moved away from judging a person’s relationship with God on the basis of hair length or movie attendance or what kind of Bible they use, we may have moved too far and now we live in an “anything goes” church culture. Instead of legalism, we focus on license, thinking we can do anything we want. This passage draws us up short. We must limit our liberty for the sake of others and we must make sure we are allowing what really matters, the eternal and not the externals, to drive our lives.
In Matthew 23:24, Jesus said that if we try to strain out gnats (the small stuff) we can end up swallowing camels (the big stuff). If we major in a godly life, we won’t fight over minor matters. Righteousness speaks of our right standing before God because of what Christ has done. We have peace with God, the peace of God, and peace with one another. And, we have the joy that comes from knowing Him. These are the things Christianity is made of.
My guess is that you want to live a life that pleases God and one in which people can celebrate. If we want that, then we must do what this passage says. Let’s let love limit our liberty and let’s focus on the eternal, not on the externals. Verse 18 provides a promise when we do that: “Because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.” The word “serves” is the word “bondslave,” which is someone who belongs to another and therefore seeks to obey every command.
As you know, PBC missionary Gary Varner died this past weekend. Milt and Michelle Hanson and Beth and I had the privilege of attending his memorial service on Wednesday night in St. Louis. As we listened to the music and messages that Gary himself wanted shared (he had typed out four pages of notes for the pastor before he died), it struck me that Gary was a man who was “pleasing to God and approved by men.” If you’d like to read my notes from the service and watch videos of the music see here.
Here are some things Gary’s friends shared.
- Lived life to the fullest
- Gary couldn’t wait to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant”
- He became all things to all people that he might save some. That’s from 1 Corinthians 9:22.
- “I had the privilege of storming the gates of Hell with Gary”
- Gary believed that the gospel could change the world
- Gary was extremely loyal to whatever he pledged himself to
- Gave up his love for Animal Science for the kingdom of Christ
- Loved orphans
- Was a creative teacher
We then heard some moving tributes from some Russian pastors via video.
- Our hearts beat together in ministry
- With Gary’s help we planted 7 new churches
- 1,000 kids were coming to summer camp
- Gary’s approach was to read books about Russian history and come as a learner. He read books that Russians had not even read!
- He was a model for me
- Inspired pastors
- Easy to be with
- A big part of his heart belonged to Russia, especially to the orphans
His wife Carol then shared, “My heart is full because of my man Gary. He was a man who was wild at heart with a dangerous agenda to change the world. I will now do my part to continue that.” After Carol and their two children shared, the congregation gave them a standing ovation. I’ve never seen that at a funeral before but it was beautiful. Why did they do that? It’s because everyone knows that Gary was pleasing to God and approved by men.
Homework
Let’s say our summary statement together again: What I do affects you! We haven’t done so well on our homework the last couple weeks, so today I’m going to phrase the take-home portion of the sermon using a question format. This may help us move to application a bit more easily.
1. In what ways can you be a unifier in your home, your workplace, among your friends, in your school, and in your neighborhood? Instead of judging, gossiping, or slandering others, search for specific ways that you can be a unifier. Proverbs 6:19 says that the Lord finds detestable “a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” Watch your words. And when you hear someone skewering another believer, speak the truth in love and send him or her to that person instead.
It’s possible to be diverse and yet not divided. We’re all distinct pieces of the puzzle, and variety is valuable because we have different gifts, abilities, personalities, thoughts, and opinions. We’re not called to be the “same,” we’re called to be one. That means we can disagree without being disagreeable – even about football, I think. We can have harmony even though we’re not homogeneous. Don’t expect everyone to be exactly like you and to think the way you think. It’s impossible within a diverse church. Remember our sermon series title: “Not wrong, just different.”
2. Is there anyone you need to ask forgiveness from? Anyone you need to extend forgiveness to? Some of you are filled with bitterness because you’ve refused to forgive someone for something they’ve done or said to you. It’s time to repair your relational ruptures, whether they’re in your home or in the house of God. Keep short accounts with people. Be like the young child who was overheard reciting the prayer given to the disciples: “And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who have passed trash against us.” Are you passing trash around this morning? Get rid of it before it starts to stink.
3. In what specific ways can you live better and love deeper? Many of you have prayed for our niece Mikayla as she has fought cancer. Thank you. She’s doing well right now. I’ve been very moved by the depth of her mother Deanna as she has held on to the Lord during this incredibly difficult time. Writing on her Care Page this week, she made a statement that I can’t get out of my mind. In reflecting on the past year, she said this: “Live each day to the fullest and love each other well.” In order to live better, is there anything you need to give up? Anything you need to start doing that you know would be beneficial? Is there anyone you’ve been withholding love from?
4. What liberty do you need to limit in order to love your brother or sister? What activities are you doing now that could be adversely affecting others? Are you willing to stop for the sake of your brother or sister in Christ? Actually, this is a good time to ask another question: Do you love those God has put around you? If not, what will you do about it?
5. Parents and Grandparents, what attitudes and actions do you need to change for the sake of your children or grandchildren? Jesus made a really strong statement about what He thinks of grown-ups who mess up children. Check out Luke 17:2: “It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.” We’re all going to get some specific help in this area in two weeks as we learn practical ways to give blessings to our family members.
6. For those of you who are dating, is your physical behavior causing a spiritual stumbling block? Related to this, ask yourself this question: How can I dress more modestly so as to not cause my brother or sister in Christ to be destroyed?
Some years ago in North Carolina there was a story about two female musicians who performed together. One was black and the other, white. They called their duo Ebony and Ivory. Both of the women only had one hand. One had lost her left hand in an accident. The other had lost her right hand. Neither knew of the other, but both were brokenhearted after the tragedy they had individually faced because they would never play the piano again.
But a third woman heard of their plight and put them in contact with each other. When the two one-handed pianists came together, they found that each could supplement the other. Together they could again play their beloved piano. When the black hand and the white hand were skillfully coordinated with each other, the maimed musicians could coax beautiful sounds from the instrument.
God calls us together in our brokenness and with our differences because He has given us to each other. Each supplements what is missing in the other. Together and only together with our differences are we whole and ready to serve because what I do affects you!
The Communion of Community
We’re in this together. So let’s learn to disagree agreeably and overcome our judgmental spirits. Let’s make sure we’re dealing with diversity by allowing love to limit our liberty and by focusing on the eternal, not externals.
A man dies and goes to heaven and hears these words from an angel, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”
“Okay,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.” “That’s wonderful,” says the angel, “that’s worth two points!” “Two points?!” he says. “Come on now. I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.” “Terrific!” says the angel. “That’s certainly worth a point.” “One point!?!!” “I started a soup kitchen and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.” “Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,” he says. “Two points!?!!”
Exasperated, the man screams out: “At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God.” “That’s it! You get 100 points! Come on in!” There’s even room for a few Bear fans.
As the men prepare the communion elements, let me draw our attention back to verse 15 to see what grace is grounded in: “For whom Christ died…”
