Scripture Introduction
Someone wrote a poem about conflict in the church:
To live above, with the saints we love;
Oh, that will be glory!
But to live below, with the saints we know;
now that’s a different story!
Today we meet two women who probably sang that ditty every morning! They were angry with one another, embroiled in conflict, hurt, and distrustful. They refused reconciliation, which damaged both them and the church, requiring the Apostle to “call them out from the pulpit” (so to speak).
[Read Philippians 4.1-3. Pray.]
Introduction
When their plane ditched at sea, six men found themselves stranded on a deserted island. Two were Jewish, two Roman Catholic, and two Baptists. The Jews got together and founded Temple Immanuel. The two Roman Catholics established the Church of the Holy Name. The Baptists each formed their own church and began arguing over who would get to use the name, “First Baptist”!
I read that story in a sermon by a Baptist pastor, but it seems Presbyterians could be chided for the same. In fact, some call us the “Split P’s” because Presbyterian churches continue to split into smaller and smaller denominations, always finding a reason to separate.
Conflict and division – surely not what we expected when we came to faith in Jesus. I remember my high hopes for the church when I was converted some 25 years ago. I assumed the family of God would be a place of peace and harmony, of friendship and unity. Sharing the experience of God’s grace, how could we not love one another and thrill to be together?
But the darker side of church life does not stay hidden. Even sincere and committed Christians still carry a sin nature in their hearts, and trouble enters the church with us: selfishness, pride, power struggles, greed, lust, anger, self-righteousness, laziness. Nor is moral failure the only problem – theological error, differences of opinion, immaturity, even conflicting taste in music or decorations set us one against another.
We should be encouraged that the Bible does not hide this difficulty. Since the fall in Genesis 3, when our first parents blamed others for their failures, torn relationships have needed reconciliation. Abraham and his nephew Lot had serious conflict; Isaac argued with Esau; Jacob fought with his brothers. Moses and Aaron did not always agree; Saul wanted to kill David. Absalom (one of King David’s sons) killed his step-brother Amnon, leaving him estranged from his father and eventually leading to treason and his death by Joab, a general in David’s army.
These conflicts continue, but they are not limited to Old Testament times. The disciples argued regularly; every church had divisions, and even Paul (who tells these women in Philippi to agree), quarreled with a guy whose nickname was “son of encouragement.”
Acts 15.37-39: “Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other.”
It makes sense that conflict often occurs in the church when we realize that this is the family of God. Just as in natural families, disagreements and discord divide us. Peace depends on overlooking flaws, being gracious with one another, showing patience, and compromising. Something similar needs to happen in the church. We could chose to find a new church when conflicts rise, but we miss the benefits and blessings of God’s lessons if we run from problems like these.
Someone said that Christians are like porcupines in winter. We desperately need to huddle close to stay warm, but “my how the needles hurt”!
Pastor Terry Johnson (Independent Presbyterian Church, Savannah, GA, Tabletalk, March 1, 2009): “I can only think of one time in twenty years that our congregation has suffered persecution, either fierce or mild, from outside the organized church. But from within? I can hardly think of anything good that has not been resisted, often fiercely, by those who do not understand the gospel, whether from the legalistic end of the spectrum or the libertine. On a personal level, Christian people typically suffer far more at the hands of fellow professing Christians than people of the world. Think of your own wounds and scars of recent years. Who has inflicted them? Who has discouraged and defeated you? Has not most of this come to you from within the visible church? Why? Because the besetting sin of zealous Christians is Pharisaic self-righteousness. We can become Pharisees about food and drink, child-rearing and education, fashion and finances, and make these tests of orthodoxy.”
It is likely that we all bear the wounds of church wars; some in Philippi did. Let’s see what God would tell us about dealing with such conflict.
1. Agreement Usually Results From Personal Effort (Philippians 4.2)
Philippians 4.2: “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.”
We know nothing else about these two women; they are mentioned only here in the Bible. Since Paul knows their names and speaks to them personally, they must have been highly visible in the church, ministry leaders – maybe like having the President of WIC (the Women In the Church) at loggerheads with the Director of Music. Bible scholars agree that the word choice and the way Paul address the problem means this was not a doctrinal dispute, but some kind of personality clash or power struggle. This is a relational rift rising from the heart, nurtured by hurt feelings and “looking out for number one.”
So the answer is not for these ladies to correct their theology. There are times when Paul demands just that. Earlier in this letter he tells the church to look out for those who preach sanctification by good works. Paul insists the Galatians have nothing to do with those who preach a different gospel. John explains in one of his letters that the church should not listen to “Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority… and refuses to welcome the brothers” (3John 1.9-10). Doctrinal and theological errors are no place for concession.
But here Paul begs these ladies to agree, to come together in cooperation and compromise, to find a “win-win” solution. And note that the verb is repeated. Like a fastidious mother counting the number of sprinkles on each child’s cupcake, Paul exhorts each equally so there can be no mistake that they both must work hard, and work hard together.
There is a saying often attributed to Augustine, though it seems a Lutheran pastor around the time of the Reformation actually first said it: “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” Paul agrees. We should not compromise or waver from essential Biblical and gospel truths. We are, however, to give great liberty to fellow believers in vast areas of non-essentials. And love (charity) holds us together, covering a multitude of sins and uniting us in perfect peace.
Three keys to agreeing:
1) Hard work and personal cost. It is easier to remain distant, and even divide, when conflicts come. To agree requires that we listen to other folks, care about their concerns, compromise our preferences, value their opinions, and invest ourselves in relational equity. Who has time for that or would risk so much? Agreement comes at a cost which few Christians are willing to pay.
2) In the Lord: Euodia and Syntyche are not their own women, they both belong to Jesus who bought them. How can we insist on having our own way, when we belong to a Savior who did not insist on having his own way, who did not live to please himself? If Euodia and Syntyche both get right with God, they will be reconciled to one another.
3) Humility: Philippians 4.2 simply applies chapter 2.1-4 to real life: “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others…. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.” Pride created this conflict; humility will produce the peace. The courage to see that fact in our own conflicts is the first step to reconciling “in the Lord.”
We must greatly desire the grace of God in our lives if we are to find the faith to pay the cost to restore Christian relationships.
2. Agreement Often Requires Outside Help (Philippians 4.3a)
Philippians 4.3a: “Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women….”
We do not know who is this “true companion,” though some suspect Epaphroditus, the faithful friend mentioned in chapter two. Others suggest Paul’s wife, who supposedly remained in Philippi when Paul left. A third common explanation is that the Greek word for “true companion,” (Greek word) (sudzugos) is actually a proper name, though not what I would name my kid.
Whomever Paul refers to, the application to us is simple enough: sometimes an outside mediator is needed to negotiate the difficulties of personal reconciliation.
Dr. Sinclair Ferguson (a well-known speaker and writer who taught at Reformed Theological Seminary and now pastors First Presbyterian Church of Columbia, SC) explains how these problems become severe enough to need mediators: “Christian fellowships are often at their worst when dealing with differences of opinion. In some ways biblically-based churches find it easier to deal with false teaching. But personal differences can be almost as deadly, dividing the fellowship, sowing seeds of bitterness, diverting attention from central issues to sometimes petty, peripheral concerns, sucking energy that should be employed in building up believers and in reaching out to the community. How effectively we handle these differences may say more about the Biblical character of our church life than how we handle heresy.”
Four characteristics of a Biblical mediator:
1) She/he must be a mature Christian: the fact that everyone knew the “true companion” shows us this person was a godly, mature, respected partner in ministry with Paul.
2) She/he must be objective: Pastor Paul models this for us in placing the verb in front of each name. He will do nothing to take sides; so must a true mediator.
3) She/he must be open and direct: imagine how shocking it was to hear your name read while you sat in church! But real problems call for up-front, honest, clear communication. Paul does not allow these dear saints to stew in their disagreement; he sheds light on the conflict by naming it! That is true mediation.
4) She/he must be encouraging and positive: Paul does not berate these women, but affirms them by calling them fellow workers whose names are in the book of life and by noting that they labored side by side with him.
When sinners disagree and division threatens, it is common to talk to others, seeking to win adherents to our side while portraying our opponents in an unfavorable light. This verse reminds us of the only really good reason to share with others information about our conflict – to help us reconcile. Agreement often requires outside help.
3. Agreement Definitely Relates To Gospel Ministry (Philippians 4.1-3)
Verse one of chapter four concludes chapter three. Because of the glory of the goal set before us, we must not be turned aside from the race. We must stand firm thus in the Lord! At the same time, that thought moves Paul to beg Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord. And as he does so, he cannot help but remember that they shared in his struggle to advance the gospel, they labored side by side with Paul in ministry.
I mention all of that to make we realize that this issue of interpersonal conflict very much relates to gospel ministry. The whole story of Jesus and the church gets a few hundred pages in a book written 2000 years ago. Why waste lines on an argument between two ladies? Because the witness of the church depends on whether the gospel has the power to bring sinners together.
The unity of believers was a great burden of Jesus, even hours before his arrest and crucifixion. When he prayed for the church in John 17, he did not ask for power or boldness, but that “they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.” We make our invisible unity in him visible by through our relationships with each other. This is what Jesus meant in John 13.35: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Euodia and Syntyche and Clement and all the others used to be unified, working side by side in the cause of the gospel. But now they have lost that vision, allowing this relational rift to distract the church from the work of the kingdom. Agreement and unity shows the world that the gospel changes our lives, and it frees us to focus on gospel ministry.
Thomas Manton was a Puritan, much concerned with why God was not bringing more converts into Biblical churches. He found a reason here: “Our divisions make us a laughing-stock to the enemy, and then a prey. Certainly, if once a peace were settled in the Reformed churches, the prophecies concerning antichrist would soon be accomplished; those relics of God’s election, which do as yet remain in spiritual Babylon, would soon come out from among them, who are now scandalized at our divisions…. Alas! We have striven long enough, hindered the common salvation long enough; scandals enough have been given: it is high time to renounce all fruits of revenge and ambition, and think of peace and unity” (X, 331).
We prove Christ Jesus is Lord when we show gracious forbearance, love, sacrificial service, compassionate care, humility, sincere looking out for another’s interests – in short, when we believe that the high prize belongs to those who outdo one another in showing honor. Then people will say, “God is surely in your midst.” Then God will be able to entrust new believers to our fellowship.
4. Conclusion
Think for moment of the great work that can be done by a laser beam in contrast to a spotlight. One can burn through steel in a matter of seconds, while the other only warms it to the touch. Both may have the same electrical input – the difference is unity.
Because laser light is monochromatic, coherent, and collimated, all of its energy is focused into a small point of intense power. A spotlight spreads its influence, many colors going their own way, even occasionally interfering with one another. As a result, little of its power can be focused to do any useful work. The difference is unity.
God is not after a uniformity based on compromise or the watering down of our creeds. We wrong him if we caricature the teaching of Philippians 4 or the prayer of Jesus in the upper room with such a complaint. He is after the humility of heart and mind that makes us think the best of one another and unites us in love and care. Will God say of us, “My, how they fought for that unity for which my beloved Son prayed?” When we do, I think we will begin to see conversions and the growth of the Kingdom in our midst.
Consider, then, these three verses:
1Corinthians 1.10: I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.
Ephesians 4.1-3: I… urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
1Peter 3.8: “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
