“Law & Order: SPU – Sex in HD”
Ex. 20:14; Mt. 5:27-30; 1 Thess. 4:3-8
Did you know that if you are not watching television in HD you are really missing out? HD – High Definition television. High Definition produces a clearer, more life-like picture that truly makes you feel like you are there, or are part of the action. High Definition makes things clearer and more exciting. I believe that the 7th commandment – “You shall not commit adultery” – does the same thing with sex and marriage – it produces a clearer, more life-like picture; it delivers a higher definition of sex and marriage. It makes sex and marriage clearer and exciting.
Since the commandment is part of the foundation for what the rest of the Bible says about this High Definition, let’s begin with a quick review of some BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES OF SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS. The first is that sex is not evil; SEX IS GOOD. It is G-rated, not R-rated. God created it and it was part of His perfect world. “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…God saw all that He had made and it was very good.” Repeatedly the Old Testament records that a man and woman “knew each other;” the word know means the intimacy of sexual relations. Take some time this week to read through the Biblical book called “Song of Songs/Solomon.” It is an expression of the physical, sensual love of a godly man for a godly woman. Sex is good. It is part of intimacy.
Principle number two is that SEX IS LIMITED TO MARRIAGE. God’s commandment – not His suggestion – is “You shall not commit adultery,” a commandment that Jesus repeated. Paul wrote to Titus (2:4-5), “…train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure (chaste – which means virginity before and faithfulness after marriage)…so that no one will malign the word of God.” The book of Hebrews (13:4) states, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.” The intimacy is reserved for marriage.
The third biblical principle is SEX IS PART OF ONENESS. God took one of Adam’s ribs from which He made Eve. Then He told the two to ‘become one.’ There is a mysterious yet wonderful oneness – a union – that can happen only between a man and a woman within the confines of marriage. As a husband and a wife surrender themselves and fuse their bodies and souls together, something miraculous and mysterious happens that unites them forever into one. It is a precious, divine intimacy. It is a gift from God.
Because of these principles God has laid out some BIBLICAL PREMISES OF SEXUAL RESTRICTIONS. There are at least four reasons God has put some limits on and boundaries around what we can do with our bodies. Paul wrote about it in 1 Cor. 6:12-20. There is, first, the PURPOSE OF THE BODY (13). “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” There is a relationship between Jesus and our bodies. We have been designed to enter into a relationship with Him and to serve Him. To cross the sexual boundaries violates His purpose for our bodies and corrupts our relationship with Him. We cannot be useful to Jesus if we are not in union with Him. The Bible states, “In a large house some dishes are made of gold or silver, while others are made of wood or clay. Some of these are special, and others are not. That's also how it is with people. The ones who stop doing evil and make themselves pure will become special. Their lives will be holy and pleasing to their Master, and they will be able to do all kinds of good deeds.” (2 Tim 2:20-21)
The second premise for sexual restrictions is the PROSTITUTION OF THE BODY (15-17). “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” Our bodies are part of Jesus Christ! Since God has designed us for that marvelous oneness of which we spoke, anytime we cross over His sexual boundaries, we tear at the oneness. Let me illustrate it this way. The word cleave in Genesis (“…a man shall cleave to his wife…”) means literally ‘to glue.’ I glued these two sheets of paper together last night. Where the glue dried, they are one sheet. If I try to pull them apart, I tear them both and destroy the perfect oneness. The sheets are forever part of each other. If I then glue one of the torn pieces to another piece, the same thing happens. Sexual union anchors that oneness and therefore we cannot unite sexually with another person outside of marriage without prostituting Jesus. Sex outside of marriage prostitutes and kills the intimacy between husband and wife and between them and God. C. S. Lewis wrote, “Every time a man and a woman enter into a sexual relationship a spiritual bond is established between them which must be eternally enjoyed or endured.”
The third premise is the PURITY OF THE BODY (18-19). “All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” Paul raises two points. FIRST, SEXUAL SIN IS AGAINST OUR OWN BODIES. Pastor John MacArthur put it forcefully: “Although (Paul) is not saying sexual sin is the worst sin, it is the most unique in its character. It rises from within the body bent on personal gratification. It drives like no other impulse and when fulfilled affects the body like no other sin. It has a way of internally destroying a person that no other sin has. Because sexual intimacy is the deepest uniting of two persons, its misuse corrupts on the deepest human level.” Consider the research. Take for example the findings of Rector, Johnson, and Noyes, at the Center for Data Analysis. I’ll read verbatim from a report, “Sexually Active Teenagers are More Likely to be Depressed and to Attempt Suicide,” (by Robert E. Rector, Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D., and Lauren R. Noyes - Report #03-04 June 3, 2003.) “Teenage sexual activity is an issue of wide-spread national concern. Although teen sexual activity has declined in recent years, the overall rate is still high. In 1997, approximately 48 percent of American teenagers of high-school age were or had been sexually active. The problems associated with teen sexual activity are well known; (STD’s, teen mothers’ extremely high probability of long-term poverty). Less widely known are the psychological and emotional problems associated with teenage sexual activity. The present study examines the linkage between teenage sexual activity and emotional health. The findings show that: When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed. (25% to 8% for girls, 8% to 3% for boys) For girls who were not sexually active, a full 60% said they were never or rarely depressed, contrasted with only 37% of those who were sexually active. When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly more likely to attempt suicide (14% to 5% for girls, 6% to 1% for boys). Thus, in addition to its role in promoting teen pregnancy and the current epidemic of STDs, early sexual activity is a substantial factor in undermining the emotional well-being of American teenagers.”
Young people, the media portrays that sexual activity is great, fun, exciting, and mature. But sex is like fire. In a fireplace, it’s warm and delightful. Outside the hearth, it’s destructive and uncontrollable. The message of our culture is that waiting for sex will make you unhappy. But that is exactly the opposite of what the Bible says and what this study reinforces. God’s plan for reserving sex for marriage is for our good! Sex before or outside of marriage is extremely destructive.
Paul also mentions that OUR BODIES ARE THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. Sex outside of marriage profanes the sanctuary, the house of God! Is it any wonder God promises judgment for those who continually engage in sexual sin? Anthropologist J. D. Unwin conducted an exhaustive study of the 88 civilizations that have existed in the history of the world. Every society began with a strict code of sexual conduct. Every society that eventually extended sexual permissiveness to its people eventually perished. There have been no exceptions. If we do not follow the rules of the temple God will pour out His judgment.
The fourth premise is the PRICE OF THE BODY. “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Jesus Christ died to save us. We belong to Him, in body and soul, because He paid the price. As the apostle Peter put it, “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” Therefore we are to be obedient to Him and use our bodies for His glory. Sexual immorality does not glorify Him.
So what can we do to steer clear of sexual immorality? The simplest answer is to get into the BIBLICAL POSITION OF SEXUAL RESTRAINTS. The Bible warns: (1 Thess. 4:3-8) “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Mt. 5:27-32) It begins with the need to GUARD YOUR MIND AND HEART. Get control of your sight and mind! Remember the children’s song, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see…” and “Be careful little feet where you go…?” It’s called discipline. Move your computer to a non-private place; cancel the magazine subscription; cancel the movie channels, VH1 & E! channels; get rid of the TV if you cannot watch it without looking at what is harmful to you eyes, heart, and mind; don’t go to the movies, or the bars or other places where you know you give in. Fill your mind, as Paul wrote (Col. 3:1-2), by seeking the things that are above, where Christ is. Do whatever you need to do to guard your heart and mind.
The second position is to FLEE. This is done in two ways. One – flee FROM TEMPTATION. When you find yourself being tempted, run! Get out! Vamoose! Just leave! Remember King David? He stood on his balcony and kept looking at Bathsheba. He lusted; he acted; he destroyed a multitude of lives. Also remember Joseph. The wife of Potiphar, the ruler, tried to seduce Joseph; he ran. She reported to Potiphar that Joseph had tried to seduce her and therefore he was imprisoned. But it was better to be pure in prison than, in his words, to be impure and sin against God.
The Heidelberg Catechism gives us our second way. Question #109 asks “Does God, in this commandment, forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery?” The answer: “We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul, and God wants both to be kept clean and holy. That is why God forbids everything which incites unchastity, whether it be actions, looks, talks, thoughts, or desires.” Flee FROM TEMPTING. Stop tempting other people! Lust is looking at another person for the purpose of stimulating desire. If it’s wrong to lust, it’s wrong to create lust in another person. The Bible warns that those who give drink to a drunkard will be held accountable; the same is true for those who create lust. It’s no secret. When women dress to be noticed, they will be noticed. When they smile or flirt to be noticed, they will be noticed. Women - how others respond to what you wear – or don’t wear – and to what you communicate – or don’t communicate – is not their problem alone; it’s also your problem. And when men primp in front of the mirror, fine tune their pectorals, flex their puffed up muscles, swagger at and hang pants from their hips so women will notice their manhood, they will! Men, you are responsible for it. This is why Paul wrote to Timothy (1 Tim. 2:9-10): “And I want women (men) to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women (men) who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.”
The third position is SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER. Married couples, I’m giving two passages for you to read, study, pray over, and live out together. 1 Cor. 7:2-5 which spells out your sexual responsibilities, and Ephesians 5:21-33 which lays the foundation for marriage as a mutual submission that is anchored in agape – self-giving – love. We are much more apt to avoid adultery when we recognize love is not a matter of feelings, but of the will; not a matter of my rights and needs, but my spouses rights and need. We are to love as Jesus loves us, even when we are not worthy. And why does He continue to love us? Because he promised to and it is a matter of His will. So be true to your vows; make love a matter of your will. Romantic love may bring two people together but agape love is what keeps them together.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of marriage above the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”
Do not commit adultery. Instead, build a lifetime of intimate fidelity that will bring honor to you, your spouse, your family, and to God. In Paul’s words (Eph. 5), submit to each other as you submit willingly to the Lord, love each other as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, and feed and care for each other as Christ does the Church. Devote yourself to each other’s good as Christ devotes Himself to your good. Now that’s truly HD – high definition of sex and marriage. But it’s the purest, most exciting one there is – for it is divine. This morning God is inviting you to commit yourself to His HD. What will be your RSVP?
