Father’s Day Blessing or Curse
6-20-10 Father’s Day New Liberty Christian Church, Rich McQuinn, Minister
TEXT: Genesis 27:25-46
To get his good-night kiss he stood beside my chair one night,
And raised an eager face to me, a face with love alight. "
As I gathered in my arms the son, God gave to me,
I thanked the boy for being good, and hoped he’d always be.
His little arms crept around my neck, and then I heard him say,
Six simple words I will never forget, six words that made me pray.
They turned a mirror on my soul, on secrets no one knew.
They startled me. I hear them yet. He said, ‘Dad I’m going to be just like you”.
Fatherhood has changed a lot over the years. I heard this past week about a father being asked who was in charge at his home. He answered, "Well, my wife bosses the children, my children boss the dog and the cat, and I can say anything I want to the geraniums.
Fatherhood may have changed a bit in our society, but I don’t think God’s perception of what the father is to be and what he has to do has changed.
So this morning I’d like for you to turn to the 27th chapter of Genesis, to the story of Isaac bestowing his blessing to Jacob. Of course, the blessing was intended for the oldest son, Esau. Through deception the blessing was given to Jacob instead. You will soon find out that any deception in the family or elsewhere is very sad.
As you may remember, Isaac & Rebecca had twin sons, Esau & Jacob, who were not anything alike. Esau was an outdoorsman with hairy arms and hands. He loved to hunt and fish. Jacob was more of a homebody, and he spent a lot of time with his mother.
In the 27th chapter of Genesis, their father, Isaac, has grown old and is almost totally blind. He has decides it is time to pass on the blessing to his oldest son.
Jewish father’s blessing was a formal passing on of the father’s honor & authority to his oldest son. Since the oldest son was assuming the leadership responsibilities of the family or tribe, he also received a double share of his father’s possessions. So the bestowing of the blessing was a very important event indeed.
In verses, 2-4, Isaac tells Esau, "I am now an old man and I don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your weapons - your quiver and bow – and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die."
So Esau leaves, and while he is gone, Rebecca seizes the opportunity to secure the blessing for Jacob, who was her favorite. She quickly prepares some tasty food and tells Jacob to put on Esau’s best clothes. To help fool blind old Isaac, she puts goat skin on Jacob’s hands and arms to make them feel hairy. Then she sends him in with the food to ask for the blessing. Have you ever in your life ever seen a wife trying her best to deceive her husband and using her favorite son besides?
Listen to verse. 19, "Jacob said to his father, `I am Esau, your firstborn. I have done as you told me. Please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing.’"
Now Isaac was suspicious because Jacob’s voice didn’t sound like Esau’s. So he asked, "How did you find it so quickly, my son?" Jacob replies, "The Lord your God gave me success."
Then in verse 21, "Isaac said to Jacob, `Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.’ Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, `The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.’ He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he blessed him."
Now the blessing that was given is found in verses 27-29. "So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, `Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness - an abundance of grain and new wine.
"May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed."
After he received the blessing from his father, Jacob left. Shortly after, Esau came in with the game that he had killed and prepared, and was ready to receive his father’s blessing.
Listen to verse 33-34. "Isaac trembled violently & said, `Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him – He indeed he will be blessed!’ When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, `Bless me - me too, my father!’"
Dr. Gary Smalley wrote a book entitled, "The Blessing." In it he examines the blessing that Isaac bestowed upon Jacob and he says, "The blessing contains 4 ingredients that ought to be present in every home today. When those 4 ingredients are present, and practiced consistently, then our children grow up solid, secure and confident of themselves, able to go out into the world and function normally."
If these ingredients are absent in the home, and then too often the child ends up like Esau, steeped in bitterness and anger.
So let me share with you the 4 ingredients of Isaac’s blessing.
I. THE FIRST INGREDIENT WAS A MEANINGFUL TOUCH
"The first ingredient," Dr. Smalley says, "was a meaningful touch." Notice in verse, 22, "Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him." Vs. 26 says, "Then his father Isaac said to him, `Come here, my son, and kiss me."
Now this is not an isolated incident in scripture. Almost every time a blessing is bestowed in Hebrew culture, it involves touching - the laying on of hands, a kiss, an embrace - something that conveys acceptance & love.
The 10th chapter of the Gospel of Mark says that people brought children to Jesus so that He could touch them. Jesus took them and placed them on his knee, and laid His hands upon them, and the scripture says, "He blessed them."
Jesus knew exactly what children needed to feel loved and accepted. So He touched them and blessed them.
It’s important to do that in our homes, too. When children are very small you can’t communicate love with words because they don’t understand words yet. But the best way to communicate love to a very small child is to demonstrate it by touching them, cuddling them, and holding them close.
Jacob was 40 years old when Isaac touched him and kissed him to convey the blessing to him. No matter the age, I think it is important to continue to communicate love and acceptance and affection in some meaningful way. I have two grown men as my sons. Tim will soon top age 45 and David turned 40. We are affectionate men with each other. We still hug, we still kiss each other, we still pray for and with each other, and we look out for each other. Our hearts are twined together. We love and respect each other.
II_A MESSAGE OF AFFECTION & LOVE WAS SPOKEN
The second ingredient was a spoken message of affection and love. Listen as he blesses his son in the last part of verse. 27, "Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field."
Now I suppose that today’s child would not consider it a compliment to be told, "You smell like a field. I just wanted you to know that." I know my two boys have smelt worse in their life.
But to an old outdoorsman like Isaac, who thought he was speaking to Esau, the smell of a field about ready for harvest was a great smell. It was a compliment, a positive message that communicated his love and affection.
You see, too often parents are quick to criticize and remind children of their mistakes. "You dummy, why did you spill the milk?" "You’re lazy." "You’re too fat." Words of criticism, spoken that really don’t accomplish much. All they do is cause a child to withdraw. The complex then grows. I am not good enough. My dad can never be proud of me. What can I do to make him proud of me? There isn’t any guidance there.
I think there is room for constructive criticism. But it’s more important to communicate love through words that say, "You’re worth something. You’re such a good little boy or girl. I’m glad that God gave you to us. You’re better than any Christmas present I could ever receive. Father’s Day is special just because you’re here."
Those are words that communicate acceptance and love. They need to be spoken over and over again, even when our children stumble and fall. Don’t wait until the last minute to do it.
I grew up with a dad that loved us, but he could never get it out of his mouth that he loved us or was proud of us. I remember well when he was only 48 lying in the hospital in Indianapolis and dying of cancer. I was called to his room. I asked him if he was ready to meet the Lord. I knew he was already without asking, but I had to ask. I could not be the son here; I had to be the minister. We prayed, I told him I loved him and that I would stay with him. He held my hand and died some time later.
Always say what you want to say dads, while you are still alive. If it is to your own father, then say it. If it is to your sons and daughters, then get on with it. If it is with your brothers and or sisters don’t waste anymore time. Say the good things, the things you want to be thought of the most. Speak from your heart. Love is not love until you give it a way.
III. ATTRIBUTING OF A HIGH VALUE
The third ingredient of the blessing was the attributing of a high value. Notice what Isaac says in vs. 28, "May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness - an abundance of grain and new wine."
He’s saying, "You’re special, so God will give you the best He has to give."
We’re constantly being told that we should teach our children to have a good, positive self-image, to build up their self-esteem. So it is important to teach the child, "You’re so valuable that God even came into our world and died on the cross for you."
But it’s not just by words. We teach high value in a number of ways. A lot of times when a child comes, we’re so busy. We have one eye on the TV and one eye on them, and we can’t concentrate on what they’re saying. They are far too important than any show that we have the ability to tape and watch later.
So when a child comes to talk to you, turn off the radio or TV set. Lay aside the newspaper, look them in the eye. You’ll see wonder after wonder when you look into a child’s eyes, sparkling with excitement. They have so many things they’re anxious to tell you. So look at them, and listen to what they have to say!
That communicates value. "You’re worth something. You’re more important to me than the ballgame or newspaper. You’re an extremely valuable part of our family. I’m glad God gave you to us. And whenever you have something you need to talk about, I’m here to listen to you."
Before they go off to college, call them in and have a Blessing. Before a marriage or a birth, or a promotion, or a great event in their life, call them in. Lay hands on them, bless them royally and pray out loud for them, so they can hear you pray for them!
IV. THE PICTURING OF A GLORIOUS FUTURE
The forth ingredient was the picturing of a glorious future. In verse. 29 Isaac says to Jacob, "May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed."
Isaac is helping him to raise his sights and see that his future is bright.
That is an important responsibility of parents, isn’t it? We all know that passage in Proverbs that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
We’ve always made a spiritual application there, "Teach them the things of God and when they’re old they will not forsake them."
But there is another application. We’re to help our children find their niche; discover who they are, and why they’ve been made. God made them special. So as they’re growing up, help them understand their gifts and their talents. Help them find what they’re best suited to do in life. Counsel and guide them to become the kind of person God wants, and made them to be.
The mistake most of us make as parents is we try to get our children to become what we want them to be, other than what God made them to be.
In the movie, "Dead Poets Society," is a boy who wanted very much to become an actor when he grew up. But his father wanted him to be a doctor.
The school put on a play which his father reluctantly attended. He was the star of the play and did such an outstanding job that he was given a standing ovation at the end.
After the play was over the father took his son home and said, "I’m not going to let you waste your life being an actor. I’m going to take you out of this school tomorrow and send you to a military academy." That was the boys last night. He committed suicide. Dads, what you think of your son and how you show it matters to him.
It’s just a story, I guess, or is it? I wonder how many people have tried to force their children into becoming something God never equipped them for, or intended them to be.
Maybe you heard the story about a little girl named Sandra who was raised in an adobe house in a rural area of New Mexico , without electricity & running water.
In fact, her mother and father had to drive to El Paso , 200 miles away, so that her mother could be in the hospital when Sandra was born.
Because they were so far away from any school, Sandra’s parents home-schooled her. They ordered a variety of magazines to expose her to the outside world. She grew up in a very wholesome environment.
Her fondest memories of her family are of the times when mom and dad took the whole family on vacation to visit state capitols. They went into every capitol building and climbed their domes, west of the Mississippi .
When Sandra graduated from high school, she went to Stanford University and graduated with honors. Today, Sandra Day O’Connor is the first woman to be seated in the Supreme Court of the United States of America . All because mom and dad cared enough to help her see herself in the image in which God created her. Then they encourage her to be all that she could be.
Now maybe our children aren’t that intelligent or gifted. But our responsibility as parents is to help them see themselves for who they really are, and to help them prepare for a glorious future.
I think this is the mortar that holds a family together - A meaningful touch, a spoken message, attributing a high value, and picturing a glorious future.
This morning, God is the perfect parent who has conveyed to us all the ingredients of His blessing in just one verse of scripture. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. Whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."
This morning we offer God’s invitation. A loving Father reaches down to touch us, speak to us, tell us how valuable we are, and help us see the glorious future that we have in Him.
If you have a decision to make this morning we invite you to come. We pray that you will respond as we stand and sing.
Amen and Amen
