Foundations for Healthy Church Relationships
Part 1 – Promoting Unity
John 17:20-23
August 22, 2010
THE ME/WE/GOD/YOU/WE FORMAT IS FROM ANDY STANLEY'S BOOK, "COMMUNICATING FOR A CHANGE."
AUDIO IS AVAILABLE AT WWW.ABERDEENWESLEYAN.ORG
Me/We:
We just finished a three-part series on foundations for healthy personal relationships, and today we’re starting another short series on foundations for healthy church relationships.
Obviously healthy personal relationships will benefit church relationships as well, but there are some things in Scripture that specifically talk about how we should get along as a church body.
I’ve been blessed in that just about every church setting I’ve been in has been positive, and in no case was there a time when there was a bunch of division or dissension or anything like that.
But some of you have been in situations where there has been either a church split, or a nasty pastoral issue where the pastor was removed, or just internal arguing that has kept that church from moving forward because they’re bogged down in their strife.
God: Well, the Bible says that this isn’t supposed to be the case.
The Bible says that we are supposed to be marked by unity, and He specifically prayed for that the night He was betrayed.
John 17:20-23 (p. 766) –
20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
Now let me just set the stage a little bit:
Jesus is just hours away from being hung on a cross for our sins.
He was about to suffer the most excruciating form of capital punishment ever devised to that point, and some say that still nothing man has been able to think of, and what’s He doing? Praying. For us. For everyone who will believe in Jesus through the message of the apostles about Him.
He was praying for us. And what’s He praying for? Our unity.
That we would be unified in Him just like the Father is unified in Jesus.
That would tell me that this is kind of an important deal for Him.
Jesus isn’t just suggesting that unity would be a good idea.
It’s not something that’s just thrown out there for the sake of everyone getting along in a church.
Jesus is pleading with the Heavenly Father that the Church would be unified.
You’d have to think that when Jesus prays about something, it’s gotta be important, right?
Especially when He’s praying about that right before He’s arrested and crucified.
And yet, so many churches don’t even know the meaning of the word, much less show it in the life of their church.
Church splits happen left and right. Churches right here in Aberdeen have split in the time I’ve been here, and it’s even happened here within the memories of some of you here.
I think Jesus knew how hard it would be to keep this in mind, and that’s why He prayed for the Father to help us with it.
In these four verses Jesus says some things here that we need to keep in mind, and find some lessons about unity.
And before I get too far, into this message, I want to give you what unity really means.
I was going to wait on this for later in the message, but I’m not sure that will be as beneficial, so I’m just going to give you a quick definition, and later in the message I’ll discuss it a bit more in-depth.
But I thought I’d better at least give you something that you can hang onto during the first part of the message.
Unity is basically agreeing on the essentials about Jesus and the mission of the Church that He has given us.
Okay? I’m going to get into that a bit more when we talk about a couple barriers to unity, but that’s the basis of what I believe Jesus is trying to communicate through this prayer of His.
So let’s take a quick look at three lessons about unity from this prayer.
1. Unity in the Church reflects the unity of the Father and the Son.
Verse 21 –
“…that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”
Last part of verse 22 –
“I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one:
The Father and Son are in perfect unity. The Son did everything the Father asked Him to do, He accomplished the task the Father sent Him for.
But can you imagine what would happen if Jesus decided to jump ship?
What if Jesus said, “No thanks, Father. I’m going my own way. You figure out another way to get this done. I’m out. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
That happens in a lot of churches, doesn’t it? If something doesn’t go just their way, they make a stink, and sometimes they leave.
And truth be told, that’s the best thing for a church sometimes.
But the fact is that if we allow disunity among us, especially regarding the most important things, we become a poor reflection of the unity that exists between the Father and the Son.
This leads to the second lesson, and that is, that…
2. Unity in the Church reflects our unity with God.
In verse 21 Jesus says –
“May they also be in us…”
And then in verse 23 –
23 I in them and you in me.”
Jesus is praying that we might have unity with God and that it might be reflected in the church.
When a church is filled with bickering, back-biting, gossiping against the leadership, and dissension, it makes God look bad.
It makes Him look like a powerless parent who can’t keep His kids in line because they’re always fighting.
We all know parents like that, don’t we? And we don’t just look at the kids, we look at the parents, don’t we? And we just kind of shake our heads.
The world does that when they see the church not living in unity.
Churches squabble with other churches and churches squabble with each other inside of their churches. It’s sad.
And it reflects badly on our Parent.
But when we let the unity of Christ rule, we make God look good, and that’s one of the most important things we can do as a church.
Here’s the third lesson we can learn from Jesus’ prayer:
3. Unity in the Church brings success to the message of Jesus.
Last part of verse 21 –
May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.
And then again in verse 23 –
“May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
Twice in these four verses Jesus says that the reason He wants unity in the Church is so that other people will believe in Him.
You’ve got to remember that the mission of the church is to reach people for Christ and help them become followers of His.
A fractured and splintered church can’t reach people for Jesus, until either the fracture is mended or the cause of the fracture is removed from that church.
But a church that is on the same page regarding Jesus and the mission of the church, it can be effective and successful in the mission Jesus gave us.
Unity is absolutely essential for that to happen.
Frances Schaeffer, in his book, The Mark of the Christian, said this:
“We cannot expect the world to believe that the Father sent the Son, that Jesus’ claims are true, and that Christianity is true, unless the world sees some reality of oneness of true Christians.”
He’s saying what Jesus is saying in His prayer: our unity brings success to the message of Jesus.
Before we move on to the next section, I do want to mention something from that last part of verse 23 –
“May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
The world, by and large, doesn’t know that the Father loves them. They really don’t.
Many people think that the Father is just out to get them. That He’s just some big ugly God looking to strike them with lightning if He gets the chance.
And when tragedy comes to their lives, instead of running to God for help to get them through the situation, they end up blaming God,
Because they don’t see that the Father loves them.
And one of the antidotes for society’s false view of the Father is for the Church to be unified.
Because they see the love of the Father among His children, and they see the love of the Savior among His people, and they begin to see that that same love is theirs, if they’ll only believe it.
Folks, we need to be unified so people can see Jesus and experience the love of the Father for themselves.
Now let’s move on a look at a couple barriers to unity in the Church:
These are just a couple things that can get in the way of unity in the church. There are others, but these are two that I want to focus on for today.
* Putting personal agendas before God’s.
This usually stems from the erroneous idea that the Church’s main job is to make its members happy and comfortable.
And that stems from the erroneous idea that they own the Church, because they pay their tithe, bought something for the church, or they were a founding member, or whatever.
The fact is that Jesus owns the Church, including this one.
When people think that the church belongs to them, they start establishing their own little kingdoms, and heaven help the poor soul who gets in the way of their running their little kingdom.
It might be the Sunday School program, or the Youth.
It might be the kitchen or the lawn or the parking lot. It might be the church board.
In any case, when people forget that Jesus owns the church, their personal agendas come into play, and it causes division, dissension, and an ingrown focus that totally shuts out the lost for Jesus.
Oh and by the way – that’s sin.
Because Jesus owns the Church and His agenda is to seek and save the lost.
And if the people in a church will lose themselves in Jesus and His mission, that church will be unified and God will be glorified in it by allowing it to fulfill the mission Jesus gave it.
A second barrier to unity in the Church is…
* Thinking that unity means agreeing on everything.
This is where I’m going to discuss the idea of what unity is all about, but I’m going to do it by talking more about what unity is not, and that is this whole idea of agreeing on everything that goes on in a church.
That’s simply not going to happen in any church. At least not healthy ones.
Let me take a survey: vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream. Apple pie or cherry pie.
We can’t even agree on what kind of pie is best, how do you think we’re going to agree on everything that goes on in a church?
We need unity in the essentials – Jesus, the Scriptures, the mission of the church and the general direction we’re taking to get there.
The details are constantly being looked at, at times re-worked, and even trashed in favor of other ways to accomplish the mission and direction.
Even in our board meetings we don’t always agree on how to do that.
Some of you think that some of the ideas I’ve had over the years are goofy. You should see the ideas that have gotten stomped on in board meetings!
Your board isn’t made up of a bunch of “yes men” and a “yes lady.”
We disagree once in awhile.
But we talk, we plan, we strategize, we discuss, and most importantly, we pray about what God would have us to do to reach people in this area of South Dakota and what part He would have us to do to reach people around the world with the good news of Jesus Christ and the salvation He died to bring you and them.
So while we disagree on the details, we have complete unity on the essentials.
And then we work out the details, and because we agree on the essentials, you know what happens?
God usually steps in to help us with the details and we get it done, for His glory.
That’s what unity can do for a church.
You: Ephesians 4:3 –
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Let me give you two ways to do that:
* Choose to align yourself with the mission of the Church. And get involved in it.
I believe, and your leadership believes that the mission we’re on to help as many people find Christ and live for Him is the mission of Jesus.
We believe that our mission is the Scriptural mission of the church, given to us by Jesus Himself in Matthew 28:18-20 –
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
I included that last part because I want to point out that we are acting on the authority of Jesus Himself to carry on that commission.
We do the stuff we do because we believe it helps us carry out the mission that He called us to do.
We’re going to get it wrong once in a while, because out of our zeal we’re going to miss the wisdom of God.
But overall, we do all we can to make sure that if Jesus were to return today He’d find us doing the job He gave us to do.
How about you? Are you excited about the mission of the Church because it’s mission of Jesus?
Then get involved with it. Lots of opportunities abound. You come talk to me and I’ll be more than happy to help find a place to help.
Second…
* Refuse to allow or be part of anything that causes dissension or division in the church.
When there is disagreement, especially on the vision and mission of the church, it needs to be handled in a way that fosters unity and doesn’t breed division or dissension.
If you’re here today and you don’t agree with the direction we’re headed, you need to visit with me or one of the leaders about it.
It is wrong to grumble about it to others rather than the leadership.
In fact, that’s sin because it brings division.
Romans 16:17-18 –
17 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.
Folks, the hard truth of the matter is that if you cannot align yourself with the mission of the church you’re in, and you can’t keep from grumbling behind the backs of the leadership, it’s time for you to find a new church.
That’s not easy for me to say, because I know that some might take that to mean I’m trying to get rid of people in this church, and that’s simply not true.
There was a time I was attending a church, and I could not agree with the way that church was going. So I left.
It wasn’t my place to try and change the direction of that church because I wasn’t part of the leadership.
I didn’t gather a bunch of people around me to listen and try to take over the church like Absalom did with his father, King David. I left. My place was somewhere else.
When someone approaches you about something you don’t like about your church, you need to stop them and ask, “So, have you talked to the pastor about that?”
“Have you talked with one of your elders or board members about that?”
“What have you done to help the situation, or are you just looking for an excuse to complain?”
“How is Jesus being served by your complaining?”
You get what I’m saying, right?
When you refuse to allow people to bring you into their divisiveness and dissension, you are helping bring unity to the Church.
By the way – I’m not saying you shouldn’t come to someone when you have a concern about the church. But you need to come to the pastor or the leadership, because they can actually do something about whatever that is.
Just complaining to anybody isn’t gonna help. It’s just going to help people want to stay away from you because no one likes someone who gripes all the time.
Folks, learn to recognize and avoid barriers to unity.
We: Jesus wants us to be unified so that He can use us for His purposes.
He wants us to be able fulfill His calling for the Church, and He wants us to accurately reflect His own unity, and He wants the world to see the Father’s love for them.
Whaddya say we commit ourselves to unity in the essentials and graciousness in the non-essentials?
Let’s show the world that we are unified under the banner of Jesus and we’re moving forward against the gates of hell.
That we want the world to see Jesus and see the Father’s love for them.
And we’re willing to set aside petty squabbling over small things for the sake of the greater mission – to seek and save the lost, and to make disciples of all nations.
Let’s pray.
