I Now See
Love Never Dies, prt. 10
Wildwind Community Church
Jason Kotarski
June 6, 2010
Before I got involved in the church, I did a lot of my growing up in the local punk rock music scene. I had found a place that accepted me for who I was and it gave me a chance to explore my love for music with a bunch of folks who were in the same boat as me. This is to say that we all loved music and had pretty much no idea how to play our instruments. We all started our own bands and did our best to hammer out our own songs so we could take turns putting on shows at the local all-ages club.
I played in a bunch of different bands and they all sounded somewhat unique compared to the other local bands. Most of the bands that were a part of the scene had different influences and ended up kind of having their own thing going on.
When a band from our little community started getting more confident they would start travelling and playing shows in other towns and maybe even go to the recording studio to record some songs and put out a cassette to sell at shows. At first the goal was to go out of town to play a show. Then, the next goal was to go out of town, play a show, and sell enough cassettes and make enough money at the door to cover the gas we spent to get to there. Not everyone was lucky enough to achieve this particular goal but I guess that’s the music business for you. Everyone wants to be a rock star and a few of them might get a chance to pay their bills playing music.
Before long my life was revolving around my band. We were playing every weekend and recouping our expenses and even making a little extra money to put towards recording studio time. We thought we were awesome! The more experience we had the more confident we became and sometimes that confidence turned into cockiness. What was a little community of people who just loved music, wanted to take some risks, and have some fun became a bit of a competition.
Sometimes I would take a younger band under my wing and share what I had learned about dealing with shady promoters and finding cool places to play. A couple times, I even took it upon myself to make sure to tell my friends’ when their band-name’s could use a little work. Because obviously, my bands, South Bay Bessie and Burnt Toast, knew a thing or two about choosing a cool band name!
Sometimes other band’s we were friends with would have success without our help or, God forbid, using an idea that wasn’t mine and I would find myself jealous. When you think that your way is the only way or the best way it can be easy to miss out on times of celebration in favor of hanging on to your pride.
Some of these younger bands would start seeing greater success than my band and the jealousy would grow. We felt on top of the world one day and then a week later it was like we were yesterday’s news, riding the rollercoaster of triumph and defeat and missing out on the spirit of what it was that got us involved in the music scene in the first place. Sure, we’d have older, wiser friends trying to gently help us bring our egos down a notch but we had a hard time listening.
In this little community, everyone had different ideas about how things should be based on our level in the social food chain and our experience. Some of us thought we deserved to be headlining shows. Some of us were just honestly excited to get the chance to play at all. We all responded in different ways to our circumstances in any given moment. Sometimes we were right on target, operating out of our love for art and music and community. And other times, we missed the mark completely, trying to stay on top of the crumbling mountain of arrogance and insecurity that was thinly disguised as confidence.
When I think about this time in my life I can see that I grew a lot. I was exploring my identity and experiencing leadership for the first time. I can also see those places that I got stuck. I focused on the wrong stuff. I let my insecurity be an excuse to hurt people I cared about. Sometimes it takes a little space and time to help you see the big picture. It’s easy to look back and evaluate what you should have done but it’s another thing to make the right choices in the moment. As you can see, being a semi-professional punk rocker wasn’t always as pretty as it sounds.
When I think of this experience, I see it as a small picture of what so much of our experience as human beings is like. There’s good and bad. Growth and stagnation. Pride and humility. Hope and pessimism. Jealousy and celebration.
We all respond to different situations in different ways. When we are in proximity with other people, which is nearly always, our responses to the situations we find ourselves in are shaped by the state of our own hearts. Our responses are shaped by our brokenness and lostness as much as they are also shaped by our desire for goodness and peace. How we think determines how we act. I wanted to serve these younger musicians but I couldn’t handle them being better than me. My thinking was pretty unhealthy during this time in my life.
The outcomes of our responses are often determined by the level that we keep in step with the spirit of whatever it is that brought us together in the first place. Take the experience of my band as an example. Within the punk rock scene, it was a love for music and a kind of naivety that had knit us together but we were quick to trade that in for a few moments of notoriety. Our good intentions didn’t always match up with our actions. Our fragile egos stole the joy from our community.
We often see Jesus walking along with his disciples when he has an encounter with an individual that starts a chain of events that involved the entire community. Jesus did this everywhere he went. I think that if you look closely at the different players in John, Chapter 9, you’ll be able to see yourself and some of the shared human experience shown in my story somewhere in this passage. Let’s take a look.
John 9:1-12 (MSG)
1 Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth.
2 His disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?"
3 Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.
4 We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over.
5 For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world's Light."
6 He said this and then spit in the dust, made a clay paste with the saliva, rubbed the paste on the blind man's eyes,
7 and said, "Go, wash at the Pool of Siloam" (Siloam means "Sent"). The man went and washed—and saw.
8 Soon the town was buzzing. His relatives and those who year after year had seen him as a blind man begging were saying, "Why, isn't this the man we knew, who sat here and begged?"
9 Others said, "It's him all right!" But others objected, "It's not the same man at all. It just looks like him." He said, "It's me, the very one."
10 They said, "How did your eyes get opened?"
11 "A man named Jesus made a paste and rubbed it on my eyes and told me, 'Go to Siloam and wash.' I did what he said. When I washed, I saw."
12 "So where is he?" "I don't know."
So the first characters we come across in this story are Jesus, his disciples, and the blind beggar. Jesus and his disciples had been around town doing their thing for a while so people we’re starting become familiar with them. They are travelling and they came across this blind guy. To be a blind person in this time, a person would be an outcast. They wouldn’t be able to work and would be living a pretty hopeless life on the fringes of society. So here’s this guy who has been struggling his whole life and the disciples are interested in getting into a theological discussion about why this guys is blind.
It was pretty common during this time for people to believe that disabilities were the result of some sort of sin and it seems the disciples want to get to the bottom of the issue. But Jesus practically cuts them off before they can go there.
3 Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.
“You’re asking the wrong question.” For Jesus, the issue isn’t how the man got this way but what he can do to serve him and show the world what God can do. He isn’t interested in revisiting the past. He has work to do in the present. So what does God do?
First, he stops his followers from getting off track with useless debate. He tells them that there is work to do and his time is limited. Then, he picks up some dirt, spits in it and rubs it all over the face of a guy who probably has no idea what’s going on at this point. Then, he sends the guy to go take a bath and after he does, the blind man can see for the first time in his life!
It’s interesting that he uses these symbols of dirt and water that pop up throughout the story of scripture. Remember, Jesus said that he wanted to show people what God could do. He wanted to show people who he was so he decided to make this guy new, he re-created him. He gave him sight where there was none. God is in the business of creation and re-creation. In the beginning…
Genesis 2:7 (NIV)
7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
God can do some pretty amazing stuff with dirt. And what about water? Well, that’s a whole other sermon series but let’s just say that water is a symbol that follows Jesus throughout his life. Jesus says that he is living water that will quench all thirst. Water is used to cleanse people and welcome them into community through Baptism. Jesus had power over water as he demonstrated when he took Peter for a little stroll on top of it.
God is showing people that he has a unique power over the raw materials of the earth and the ability to heal the human body. This power is often revealed through service. This story of a blind man who is given sight is not the only instance of this kind of healing in scripture. Jesus heals several blind people during his ministry on Earth. One commentator said “Perhaps there is no greater evidence of His compassion and power than that seen in His willingness and ability to heal those who lived in darkness and hopelessness.”
And you know how it is. When amazing stuff happens people start to talk. The folks who witnessed what happened with the blind man got busy trying to figure out what was going on. The text says, “Soon the town was buzzing.” The people who were there didn’t know what to make of it. Some were confused. Some were astonished. Some were curious. And what do you do when you can’t figure out one of life’s conundrums? Right, you go talk to your pastor…
The community decided to drag the man before the religious elite of their day, the Pharisees. What conspired next was more of a trial than anything else.
John 9:13-17 (MSG)
13 They marched the man to the Pharisees.
14 This day when Jesus made the paste and healed his blindness was the Sabbath.
15 The Pharisees grilled him again on how he had come to see. He said, "He put a clay paste on my eyes, and I washed, and now I see."
16 Some of the Pharisees said, "Obviously, this man can't be from God. He doesn't keep the Sabbath." Others countered, "How can a bad man do miraculous, God-revealing things like this?" There was a split in their ranks.
17 They came back at the blind man, "You're the expert. He opened your eyes. What do you say about him?" He said, "He is a prophet."
Enter the Pharisees. We’ve got a group of people who are split. Some of them are quick to judge the whole situation based on the details that Jesus healed on the Sabbath. The Sabbath was intended to be a day of rest, so work was not permitted. How could a so called “man of God” do such a thing on such a special day? Some of the Pharisees missed a chance to celebrate the miracle of the blind man who is given his sight because of a law that is intended to give people life. They missed the spirit of the law in seeking ammunition to trap Jesus.
As I mentioned before, Jesus has been on the scene for a little while now and the religious elite were feeling threatened because he was breaking down the walls that they tried so hard to keep intact. The religious system they lived by gave them power and control and comfort and Jesus was turning their system on it’s head.
Jesus saw an opportunity to meet a deep need and he took action. He gave new life by healing the man’s eyes on a day that was set aside to give people life, to give people rest.
The blind man wasn’t sure what was going on. He tried to keep it simple. When asked what he had to say about the man who had healed him he recognized that he was something special, that he was from God. He replied, “He is a prophet.”
John 9:18-19 (MSG)
18 The Jews didn't believe it, didn't believe the man was blind to begin with. So they called the parents of the man now bright-eyed with sight.
19 They asked them, "Is this your son, the one you say was born blind? So how is it that he now sees?"
The Jews didn’t seem to be getting anywhere so they decided to go another route. “Well, he wasn’t really blind, let’s find his parents.”So they track down his parents and try to bring them into the middle of the whole debacle.
John 9:20-23 (MSG)
20 His parents said, "We know he is our son, and we know he was born blind.
21 But we don't know how he came to see—haven't a clue about who opened his eyes. Why don't you ask him? He's a grown man and can speak for himself."
22 (His parents were talking like this because they were intimidated by the Jewish leaders, who had already decided that anyone who took a stand that this was the Messiah would be kicked out of the meeting place.
23 That's why his parents said, "Ask him. He's a grown man.")
The man’s parents are put on the spot and they can see that they could be getting into some trouble if they took sides. They decide to remain neutral to protect themselves. In essence, they passed the buck. They left their kid hanging.
John 9:24-25 (MSG)
24 They called the man back a second time—the man who had been blind—and told him, "Give credit to God. We know this man is an impostor."
25 He replied, "I know nothing about that one way or the other. But I know one thing for sure: I was blind . . . I now see."
The Pharisees shift their attention back to the man and try play the “righteousness card” calling him to “Give glory to God” by calling Jesus a sinner. But he doesn’t give in. He doesn’t play their game. He doesn’t claim to know anything except the truth he experienced; “I was blind…I now see”. In his humility he is able to live in the mystery. He doesn’t have to know everything in that moment. He is free to enjoy the gift he has been given with a simple, humble heart
.
John 9:26-33 (MSG)
26 They said, "What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?"
27 "I've told you over and over and you haven't listened. Why do you want to hear it again? Are you so eager to become his disciples?"
28 With that they jumped all over him. "You might be a disciple of that man, but we're disciples of Moses.
29 We know for sure that God spoke to Moses, but we have no idea where this man even comes from."
30 The man replied, "This is amazing! You claim to know nothing about him, but the fact is, he opened my eyes!
31 It's well known that God isn't at the beck and call of sinners, but listens carefully to anyone who lives in reverence and does his will.
32 That someone opened the eyes of a man born blind has never been heard of—ever.
33 If this man didn't come from God, he wouldn't be able to do anything."
The man is beginning to recognize that the Pharisees are trying to trap him too and it’s like he speaks up to say, “enough is enough. We’re just going in circles here. Don’t you see that if this Jesus guy didn’t come from God he wouldn’t have been able to do what he did?” It’s like the poking and prodding of the Pharisees is pushing him closer to Jesus. He’s started to put words to what is really going on. His faith is growing. He’s gaining more confidence. This outcast is finding his voice. Now he’s starting to get really annoying to the Pharisees.
John 9:34 (MSG)
34 They said, "You're nothing but dirt! How dare you take that tone with us!" Then they threw him out in the street.
What happens when we feel threatened? We want to shut the threat down as soon as possible. We want to protect ourselves by getting the threat far away and we exert whatever power we have to do so.
It can be easy to point our fingers at the Pharisees as the villains but there are times when we find ourselves in their shoes; thinking we know everything, leaving little room for mystery.
They were trying to protect what they thought was right. They weren’t ready for change. Their old wineskins weren’t able to hold this new wine. They were afraid and they acted from who they were.
John 9:35-39 (MSG)
35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and went and found him. He asked him, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"
36 The man said, "Point him out to me, sir, so that I can believe in him."
37 Jesus said, "You're looking right at him. Don't you recognize my voice?"
38 "Master, I believe," the man said, and worshiped him.
39 Jesus then said, "I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind."
Everything that has been happening has been leading the man up to this point. Jesus went looking for the man so he could unveil a bit more about what was going on. Jesus meets the man again and reveals that his is the Son of God, confirming the steps of faith the man has been taking towards him. The man responds by worshipping God. When you realize that your life has been renewed by the Messiah that your people have been looking for through history, worship is an appropriate response. His great need was met with gratitude. This was a big moment for him. His experience was helping him to look at the world in new ways. Both literally and figuratively.
Jesus reveals that he is here to help people learn to see God. The people who are willing to look will be able to see but those who think they have gotten everything already figured out are going to miss out on the blessing that God is bringing into the world. The Pharisees didn’t like what they heard.
John 9:40-41 (MSG)
40 Some Pharisees overheard him and said, "Does that mean you're calling us blind?"
41 Jesus said, "If you were really blind, you would be blameless, but since you claim to see everything so well, you're accountable for every fault and failure.
Here Jesus is describing the kind of heart that can truly experience God. Those who recognize their limits and brokenness will find themselves ready to receive God’s gift of grace. Those with puffed up egos, thinking that they already know all there is to know will face consequences for their pride.
So where do we go from here? This story has a lot to take in. Each character provides a great at example of the different conditions of the human heart. We see how the characters relate to each other from their own points of view and different ways of thinking. We can see how they all responded differently to the situation at hand. Jesus initiated the event that brought the various folks together and we can see the ways that some of the players in the story are more in tune with the spirit of what he intended to do than others.
It can be easy to look at it from the outside and make judgments about who was wrong and right. But I want to encourage you to put yourself into the story. Which character best represents the state of your heart in this moment?
Do you resonate with the blind man? Is there a deep brokenness and sense of hopelessness that you have been struggling with? There is hope because God is into putting broken things back together.
Do you find yourself more like the disciples? Are you stuck in your head so much, focusing on information, that you are missing out on the humanity of the people around you? There is the example of Jesus as a servant to help us learn to put our hands to the work of offering hope and healing where there is deep need.
Maybe you are more like the townspeople right now. Are you curious or amazed or confused about what Jesus is up to? There is a journey towards light and truth in seeking Jesus and you are invited.
Are you feeling more like the blind man’s parents in the story? Are you feeling pressured to take sides on an issue and don’t see a way through? Are you afraid to make a decision that could lead to change in your life? There is time and space for your journey to unfold. Take a deep breath.
Maybe you are like one of the Pharisees. Afraid of having your life turned upside down. Fighting the desire to exert power to protect something you hold dear. Maybe it’s a sense of pride that is stealing the opportunity to experience great joy. There is grace for those who are willing to let go.
In this story Jesus is central, bringing people together who are on very different paths and giving them opportunities to respond to his power and service with their lives. The same is true for our stories too. Jesus is central and he is inviting us to tune into the spirit of what he has intended to do in this world, and in our lives.
May you become open to God as He continues to reveal who he is. May you learn to respond to God from wherever you are on our journey. May you find the spirit of your life in tune with the song of the blind man singing, “I was blind…I now see.”
