Proper Training
Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Our primary task as parents is to prepare our sons and daughters to walk according to God’s plan, God’s will, and God’s purpose for their lives. It is the responsibility of parents and grandparents to instill in their children and grandchildren an unshakable faith that will guide them through life and protect them from the attacks of the world and the Devil. Paul commended Timothy’s genuine and sincere faith instilled in him by his grandmother Lois, and mother Eunice. Let me share with you three steps to help prepare or give proper training of your children.
I. Wet their appetite for the things of God
A. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
B. This verse has often been misused as a “rabbit’s foot” of sorts; that if we are good godly parents our children are guaranteed to not turn out bad and even if they should go out into the depths of sin they will eventually come back to God.
C. “Chanokh la-naahr ahl pi dark” - The Hebrew word for “train up” (Chanokh) is actually used to describe the palate of the mouth. The writer of Proverbs was creating a word picture for his readers. In the time of Solomon, the writer of Proverbs, a Hebrew mid-wife, after helping to deliver a baby, would dip her finger into a paste made of dates and rub it on the gums of the new baby. This action would cause the baby to be hungry for more, triggering his desire to suck. Also back then there was no Gerber’s baby food, so young mothers used to chew up the food they were eating and touch it to the palate of their babies; thus, developing the acquiring of their babies' tastes for the food of whatever culture the food was from.
D. Feed them the Word of God – 1 Peter 2:1-3 “Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord [is] gracious.”
E. Read your children Bible stories as often as you can. When they get older, read the Bible to them. Explain what the Bible is. Explain who God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are. Allow them to ask you any questions they have about the Bible. Answer their questions the best way you know how.
F. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”
G. Take them to God’s House - Bring your children to church with you. Don’t just drop them off. Enroll them in Sunday School. Talk with them about what they learned in class. Ask them if they have any questions about the lessons.
H. Hebrews 10:25 (NLT) “Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
I. Show them the importance of church attendance by your own attendance.
J. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing”
K. Pray with your children. Explain that they can talk to God through prayer.
Transition: Sometimes children have no appetite because they have been eating the wrong things.
II. Set boundaries and expectations
A. Too many parents have the attitude of “I won’t force my views on my children. I believe inletting them decide for themselves.”
B. Proverbs 29:15 “... a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.”
C. Children aren’t necessarily the best judges of what is or isn't the best for them in the long run. If they were allowed to make their own choices, they wouldn’t ever go the dentist, take a bath, eat their veggies, attend school, or go to church. We need to set boundaries and expectations for our children.
D. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
E. Train children, not in the way they would go, that of their corrupt hearts, but in the way they should go; in which, if you love them, you would have them go. – Matthew Henry:
F. In our society, it's a parents responsibility, the duty and role they take on when they decide to have children, to keep them safe, housed, clothed, fed, and educated. Until they are 18, then the child can go forth and decide for themselves. If parents start letting children decide for themselves before that, we lose that important and limited time we have to teach them ourselves – Frances Andrus - response in a Facebook article regarding 16 yr old Abby Sunderland.
G. Deuteronomy 4:10 “...Gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.”
H. When your children do something wrong, correct them.
I. Illustration: Aaron was an eleven-year-old boy whose behavior was described by Dr. William Glasser, his psychiatrist, as horrible. In his book, Reality Therapy, Glasser says Aaron was the most obnoxious child he had ever met. The boy would kick, scream, run away and hide, become withdrawn, disrupt his classes and make everyone disgusted with him. Dr. Glasser saw one problem with Aaron that no one else observed: "No one had ever told him that he was doing wrong." No one had ever set limits on what he could do and not do. The psychiatrist decided to try a completely new tack. The boy would have to behave, to act reasonable, or be punished. He responded remarkably. "Probably because he had been anxious for so long to be treated in a realistic way." Thus he became courteous, well behaved, and his miserable grades went to straight A’s. For the first time in his life Aaron began to play constructively with other children, to enjoy honest relationships with others, and to stop blaming his troubles on his mother or other people. Dr. Glasser calls this "reality therapy" and says one of an individual’s greatest needs is to be made to realize that he is personally responsible for what he does and that right behavior accomplishes more than wrong behavior. - copied
J. Set expectations – Stop making excuses for a child’s actions. Make them accountable for what they do. A child comes home with a low grade in math. Don’t say “I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I was never good in math when I was in school so I understand.” Tell the child that he needs and you expect him to do the best he can and anything short of that isn’t good enough.”
K. Ephesians 6:4 (NASB) “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
L. We had the meanest parents in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our parents fixed us a dinner that was different than other kids had too. Our parents insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. They had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. They insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but they had the nerve to break the “Child Labor Laws” by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think they would lay awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. They always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, they could read our minds, and life was really tough. They wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so they could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 18. Because of our parents we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all their fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays. Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like our parents were. The world just doesn’t have enough mean parents anymore. - copied
III. Teach them by example
A. Parents have incredible influence on their children. Most likely, your children live by the standards you live by?
B. 1 Kings 15:26-27 “Now Nadab the son of Jeroboam became king over Israel in the second year of Asa king of Judah, and he reigned over Israel two years. 26 And he did evil in the sight of the LORD, and walked in the way of his father, and in his sin by which he had made Israel sin.”
C. 1 Kings 22:42-43 “Jehoshaphat the son of Asa had become king over Judah in the fourth year of Ahab king of Israel. Jehoshaphat was thirty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned twenty-five years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Azubah the daughter of Shilhi. 43 And he walked in all the ways of his father Asa. He did not turn aside from them, doing what was right in the eyes of the LORD…”
D. Can you say not only “Do as I say,” but also, “Do as I do.”?
E. 1 Corinthians 11:1 “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”
F. Live your life as a Christian. Do your best in everything you do. Think about what Jesus would do and try to do your best to follow in his footsteps. Teach your children how to live through your examples.
G. The number one influence in a teenager’s life is not a friend, grandparent, youth pastor, or teacher, but a parent.
H. When Robert Ingersoll, the notorious skeptic, was in his heyday, two college students went to hear him lecture. As they walked down the street after the lecture, one said to the other, “Well, I guess he knocked the props out from under Christianity, didn’t he?” The other said, “No, I don’t think he did. Ingersoll did not explain my mother’s life, and until he can explain my mother’s life I will stand by my mother’s God.” - James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, Tyndale, 1972
I. One of the most important things to do in raising your children is to be sure that they come to know God’s message of salvation.
J. Acts 16:31 “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."
