7 KEYS TO HUSBANDS AND WIVES - A BIBLICAL GUIDE TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
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OUTLINE
1. FEAR THE LORD AND WALK IN HIS WAYS AND SERVE HIM AS A FAMILY
2. UNDERSTAND THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN IN GOD'S CREATION . HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES . WIVES HONOUR AND OBEY YOUR HUSBANDS.
3. GIVE PRIORITY TO EACH OTHER MORE THAN TO ANYONE ELSE. VALUE AND CHERISH EACH OTHER AS A GIFT FROM GOD.
4. BE THE BEST FRIEND AND CLOSEST CONFIDANT OF EACH OTHER. ENCOURAGE AND STRENGTHEN EACH OTHER IN DIFFICULT TIMES AND FACE THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE UNITEDLY.
5. BE KIND AND CONSIDERATE TO EACH OTHER'S LIKES AND DISLIKES. BE GENTLE WITH YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND BE QUICK TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER
6. BE FAITHFUL AND COMMITED TO EACH OTHER ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE
7. BE DILIGENT AND FAITHFUL AND GENEROUS IN PROVIDING FOR THE NEEDS OF YOUR FAMILY
THE MESSAGE
1. FEAR THE LORD AND WALK IN HIS WAYS AND SERVE HIM AS A FAMILY
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PSALM 128:1-6
Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.
May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.
JOSHUA 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond
the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
2. UNDERSTAND THE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN IN GOD'S CREATION . HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES . WIVES HONOUR AND OBEY YOUR HUSBANDS.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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GENESIS 2:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
COLOSSIANS 3:18-19
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
EPHESIANS 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
for we are members of his body.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1 PETER 3:1-7
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of
their wives,
when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious
gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
3. GIVE PRIORITY TO EACH OTHER MORE THAN TO ANYONE ELSE. VALUE AND CHERISH EACH OTHER AS A GIFT FROM GOD.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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GENESIS 2:18-24
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name
them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, 'for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
PROVERBS 19:14
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
PROVERBS 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
PROVERBS 12:4
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
PROVERBS 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
4. BE THE BEST FRIEND AND CLOSEST CONFIDANT OF EACH OTHER. ENCOURAGE AND STRENGTHEN EACH OTHER IN DIFFICULT TIMES AND FACE THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE UNITEDLY.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
5. BE KIND AND CONSIDERATE TO EACH OTHER'S LIKES AND DISLIKES. BE GENTLE WITH YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND BE QUICK TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
EPHESIANS 4:25-32
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in
need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those
who listen.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
PROVERBS 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
PROVERBS 16:24
" Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
PROVERBS 25:11
" A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. "
PROVERBS 15:23
" A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! "
PROVERBS 12:25
" An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. "
PROVERBS 15:4
" The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. "
PROVERBS 15:30
" A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. "
PROVERBS 25:25
" Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land. "
PROVERBS 12:18
" Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. "
PROVERBS 19:13
A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
PROVERBS 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
PROVERBS 21:19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
PROVERBS 25:24
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
PROVERBS 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;
6. BE FAITHFUL AND COMMITED TO EACH OTHER ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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HEBREWS 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
PROVERBS 5:18-19
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
PROVERBS 23:27
for a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well.
MALACHI 2: 13-16
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with
pleasure from your hands.
You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is
your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and
do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So
guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
MATTHEW 19:1-12
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.
Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'
and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.
The one who can accept this should accept it."
1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-40
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will
not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I say this as a concession, not as a command.
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your
children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the
churches.
Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be
circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave.
You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy.
Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want
to spare you this.
What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none;
those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep;
those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord.
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—
and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and
spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should
do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to
marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.
So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
7. BE DILIGENT AND FAITHFUL AND GENEROUS IN PROVIDING FOR THE NEEDS OF YOUR FAMILY
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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1 TIMOTHY 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 THESSALONIANS 4:11-12
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,
so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
2 THESSALONIANS 3:6-12
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you
received from us.
For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you,
nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of
you.
We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow.
For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies.
Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat.
