The Task Of Taming The Tongue
Copyright © March 1994 by Rev. Donnie L. Martin. All Rights Reserved.
Text: James 3:1-12
I. THE BENEFITS OF THE TONGUE
A. The Tongue Can Bless.
B. The Tongue Can Build.
C. The Tongue Can Broadcast.
II. THE BRUTALITY OF THE TONGUE
A. Words Can Make The Heart Bleed.
B. Words Can Cause Division Among Brethren.
C. Words Can Give An Emotional Burn.
III. THE BRIDLING OF THE TONGUE
A. We Must Purpose To Bring The Tongue Into Harness.
B. We Must Pray For God’s Help.
C. We Must Program Our Heart.
Intro: James paints a rather ugly picture concerning the problem with man’s tongue. But as dreadful and disturbing as that picture may be, it is undeniably accurate. This relatively little organ in our mouth has broken more hearts, started more battles, and wrought more destruction in this world than one could possibly enumerate.
Physically, the tongue is rooted in the mouth of the human body, although some would swear that there are some people whose tongues wag at both ends. In a practical and spiritual sense however, the tongue is rooted in man’s heart; for Jesus said, “…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matt. 12:34b—KJV). In simpler terms: “What’s in our heart ends up on our tongue, sooner or later.”1
If our heart is filled with love, it will be evident in what rolls off our tongue. If our heart is overwhelmed with grief, the tone of our words will usually give it away. If our heart is consumed with jealousy, hatred and bitterness, one may be sure that the tongue will betray these traits. The people who think their real feelings are cleverly hidden, may actually only be fooling themselves. It is rare that a person can completely cover what consumes and controls their heart.
To further emphasize the problem of the tongue, James spoke of the fact that almost every kind of beast of the earth had been brought under man’s control, and yet man, with all his knowledge, has not learned to control his tongue. James put it this way: “But the tongue can no man tame…” (James 3:8a—KJV). This statement wasn’t meant to leave us with a sense of hopelessness, but rather to reveal to us our need for divine dependence in controlling this unruly member of our body.
Today, as we look at both the good and bad aspects of the tongue, we also want to become aware of some truths that will help us in its control.
Theme: The Bible tells us about…
I. THE BENEFITS OF THE TONGUE
A. The Tongue Can Bless.
1. The tongue is a blessing when it speaks God’s praises.
Ps. 51:14 “Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.”
Ps. 100:4 “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.”
Ps. 147:1 “Praise ye the Lord: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.”
NOTE: Which would you say that you do most: gripe, or give thanks to God? By the way praising and thanking God doesn’t depend on everything being wonderful in your life, as the following points out:
John Wesley was about 21 years of age when he went to Oxford University. He came from a Christian home, and he was gifted with a keen mind and good looks. Yet in those days he was a bit snobbish and sarcastic.
One night, however, something happened that set in motion a change in Wesley’s heart. While speaking with a porter, he discovered that the poor fellow had only one coat and lived in such impoverished conditions that he didn’t even have a bed. Yet he was an unusually happy person, filled with gratitude to God.
Wesley, being immature, thoughtlessly joked about the man’s misfortunes. “And what else do you thank God for?” he said with a touch of sarcasm.
The porter smiled, and in the spirit of meekness replied with joy, “I thank Him that He has given me my life and being, a heart to love Him, and above all a constant desire to serve Him!” Deeply moved, Wesley recognized that this man knew the meaning of true thankfulness.
Many years later, in 1791, John Wesley lay on his deathbed at the age of 88. Those who gathered around him realized how well he had learned the lesson of praising God in every circumstance. Despite Wesley’s extreme weakness, he began singing the hymn, “I’ll Praise My Maker While I’ve Breath.”2
2. The tongue is a blessing when it speaks for peace.
Prov. 10:11 “The mouth of a righteous man is a well (“is the vein of lives; an allusion to the great aorta, which conveys the blood from the heart to every part of the body”)3 of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked.
12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.”
Prov. 15:4 “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”
NOTE: [1] Hatred has long been one of the ravenous beasts that prowl the hearts of mankind. Many of us would like to think that we don’t really hate anyone. But perhaps we’re just fooling ourselves. “One fellow said, ‘I don’t hate anybody, but if I ever start I’ve got the fellow picked out.’”4
[2] A hateful, resentful heart spews out venomous words that hurt and cut others emotionally. Isn’t it amazing that when one practices poisonous speech, they never seem to realize what it’s doing to themselves, as well as to the people upon whom they’re unloading their verbal hatred?
A man who hates to be slapped on the back, packs his coat with TNT and waits for this man who always slaps his back. His idea is when he hits me I will get him; I’ll blow him up. Hate kills both the person who you hate, but also yourself as well. Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat.5
3. The tongue is a blessing when it utters solace and comfort to the hearts of those in emotional pain.
Rom. 12:15 “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
2 Cor.1: 3 “Blessed be the God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
NOTE: Too often, when someone is downcast and emotionally distraught, we have a tendency to correct and chastise them for how they feel. But that is the wrong approach.
A grieving individual may run the gamut of emotions, such as anger, self-pity, abandonment, depression, and even guilt. The listener’s job is to console and comfort, not correct and chastise. There may come a time for correction of misconceptions or faulty emotional postures, but not initially.6
B. The Tongue Can Build.
Eph. 4:15a “But speaking the truth in love…
…………………………………………………………..
29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
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31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Col. 4:6 “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
James 4:11a “Speak not evil one of another, brethren…”
NOTE: Sometimes we all need to be complimented and encouraged. But here are some basic rules for accomplishing that:
Practical tips for praising one another: Be specific. Describe, don’t evaluate. Be sincere, avoid exaggeration. Don’t overlook written praise. Give a gift for no reason at all. Plan a special person’s party. Praise often.7
C. The Tongue Can Broadcast.
1. The tongue can be used to broadcast the Gospel truth.
Acts 1:8 “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.”
Rom. 1:15 “So, as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also.
16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”
NOTE: Dear friends, if you’re waiting on everyone else to do the witnessing for Christ that you should be doing, there will likely be some of your acquaintances who will never come to know Christ as Savior. You don’t need to be an orator in order to be a witness, only willing and available.
A good witness isn’t like a salesman; emphasis is on a person rather than a product. A good witness is like a signpost. It doesn’t matter whether it is old, young, pretty, ugly; it has to point the right direction and be able to be understood. We are witnesses to Christ, we point to him.8
2. The tongue can be used to broadcast gossipy tales.
Lev. 19:16a “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people…”
Prov. 26:20 “Where no wood is, the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.”
NOTE: [1] The word “talebearer,” in Lev. 19:16, refers to one who is “…a scandal-monger…slander, carry tales.”9
[2] Some folks just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut. They seem to delight in telling the latest juicy gossip, whether it’s the truth or not; and they rarely, if ever, try to find out which it is before they spread it around. We’ve often joked that it would kill some people if they had to keep quiet for an hour. The following story would almost seem to verify that idea:
On a windswept hill in an English country churchyard stands a drab, gray slate tombstone. The quaint stone bears an epitaph not easily seen unless you stoop over and look closely. The faint etchings read:
“Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,
Lies Arabella Young.
Who on the twenty-fourth of May,
Began to hold her tongue.”10
II. THE BRUTALITY OF THE TONGUE
A. Words Can Make The Heart Bleed.
Prov. 12:18 “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.”
Prov. 18:8 “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”
Jer. 9:8 “Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.”
NOTE: [1] Has someone ever said something to you that made you feel like they’d just stabbed you in the heart? Hurtful words can make one bleed every bit as badly as a knife being thrust into your flesh. The only difference is that the blood isn’t visible on the outside.
[2] Some big-time gossips often try to pass themselves off as spiritual people, but their constant gossiping proves just the opposite. Listen to what the Bible says:
James 1:26 “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.”
B. Words Can Cause Division Among Brethren.
Prov. 16:28 “A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”
Prov. 17:9 “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
Gal. 5:15 “But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.”
C. Words Can Cause An Emotional Burn.
Prov. 16:27 “An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire.”
James 3:5b “…Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.”
NOTE: I know you’ve heard the old adage that goes like this: “Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never harm me.”11 You may be very certain today that that old saying is entirely false. Words can be very harmful.
Deadly Microbe
Gossip is the most deadly microbe. It has neither legs nor wings. It is composed entirely of tales, and most of them have stings.12
III. THE BRIDLING OF THE TONGUE
A. We Must Purpose To Bring The Tongue Into Harness.
1 Pet. 3:8 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:”
NOTE: Those who are constantly eager to spread the latest juicy news usually become labeled for what they really are: a gossip.
The Gossip
Many years ago the Moody Church News carried a humorous story about a woman in a small town who was known for being a gossip. One day on vacation she visited the offices of The Chicago Daily News. She was wearing a white dress and inadvertently leaned against a wall where a freshly printed copy of the front page was hanging. It was a hot, humid day, and some of the print came off on the back of her white dress.
Later, as she walked down the street to meet her husband, she noticed that people walking behind her were snickering. When she reached the place where her husband was waiting, she asked him if there was anything on her back that shouldn’t be there. As she turned around, he read the large black reversed letters: sweN ylaiD. Realizing the appropriateness of the words, he said, “No, dear, nothing’s on your back that doesn’t belong there.”13
B. We Must Pray For God’s Help.
Ps. 19:13 “Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”
Ps. 141:3 “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.”
NONE: One will never begin to conquer this sin until they first confront the facts written all over their behavior. You must honestly confess your habit of gossip as sin (1 John 1:9—KJV). Then you must daily ask God to strengthen you to overcome this sinful habit. Don’t believe the lie that it can’t be done, for God’s Word says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil. 4:13—KJV).
C. We Must Program Our Heart.
Ps. 119:11 “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”
Prov. 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Theme: The Bible tells us about…
I. THE BENEFITS OF THE TONGUE
II. THE BRUTALITY OF THE TONGUE
III. THE BRIDLING OF THE TONGUE
End Notes:
1. Rev. Donnie L. Martin.
2. Our Daily Bread.
3. Adam Clarke, Adam Clarke’s Commentary On The Bible, as found in e-Sword software.
4. Author unknown. Acquired from pastorlife.com, Dr. Benny Pate, Editor.
5. H.E. Fosdick.
6. Rev. Donnie L. Martin, “Surviving The Separation,” pg. 2.
7. Dave and Claudia Arp.
8. John White, The Fight.
9. James Strong, S.T.D., LL.D. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance Of The Bible, published by MacDonald Publishing Company, McLean, Virginia 22101; #7400 of the Hebrew And Chaldee Dictionary, pg. 108.
10. Author unknown. Acquired from bible.org.
11. Traditional.
12. Morris Mandel in Bits and Pieces, June, 1990, p. 22.
13. Our Daily Bread, June 23, 1994.
Be sure to check out the author’s May 12, 2011 book release entitled, "Meditations of the Heart: Thoughts on the Christian Life" at: http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Heart-Thoughts-Christian-Life/dp/1453739238
